I don't seem to like kissing for some reason

And what about sex? What about my strong desire to make out and have sex but I don't ever really enjoy it…why is that? Why is it boring? Why is sex like masturbation with another person present only I don't get off? Why do I get so aroused but then don't feel anything or any relief?

Are you taking any meds. I have that issue. I didn't before meds. Anti depressants can cause those kind of issues.

Do you get off with masturbation and not with someone present. That is what I gather from this last post of yours. but I could be mistaken. Again that is how I am. When I do it it is a sure bet, if it involves someone else, it almost takes being intoxicated to make it happen. That is just me.

Yes, I'm on a lot of meds. I've told the psychiatrist that the last pill I was put on has sexual side effects including making an orgasm next to impossible to achieve even on my own (which until then had been relatively easy to achieve). And even if I do achieve an orgasm now, it really doesn't feel worth the effort.

The problem is, whenever I see the psychiatrist, I'm alone and don't see any way I'll have a partner in the future, so I don't care and nothing gets changed. I mean, who really cares if I masturbate anymore? It's actually really depressing when that's literally the only way I can get off. And I think that's true without medication. I'm pretty sure no one else will ever get me off. So why would I want to touch myself and remind myself how pathetic I am and how I'm the only one who wants to touch me?

And because I don't care, the doctor doesn't change anything with my medication even if there are clearly side effects and I'm clearly too depressed to care even though I'm on two antidepressants. The thing is, the one with all the sexual side effects (cymbalta), added to my other anti-anxiety pill keeps me calm most of the time. I don't know if it's worth switching to another medication or not.

I understand IAM. I am the same way. It is just not worth the effort. Seldom do
i have the need so bad that it is worth that kind of effort. I would change my meds. But my H and I don't get along and sex is not a real high priority at the moment. If for some reason down the road I work things out with my H for find a new love, I may change the meds. But right now, that is the only bothersome side affect, otherwise it works great.

With me, there is a really bad need that I've been trying to bury because there's never anyone to satisfy that need and after years and years of masturbation, that doesn't satisfy the need anymore…it's just the same thing over and over again. I need the emotional side too, along with the physical element.

There isn't anyone who would do more than mess around with me out of sheer pity (or they're not with the person they really want to be with and I'm convenient because unlike everyone else, I don't have anyone, ever). I'm basically there to make other people feel good until they get back with the person they really care about. If it were all about the physical aspect to me, that wouldn't bother me so much, but I want emotional connection…I want it to actually matter how I feel and not feel like I have to lie about whether I enjoyed it or not…I want to be the person they actually want to be with. But since that's not possible at this point (everyone wants to be with one of their exes more because everyone else actually has exes so I'll never be the first or second or third etc. choice)…it's hard to want to go back to being able to really feel sexual pleasure because then I'll need to feel it/be aroused all the time and only be able to relieve it myself in shame.

Don't like sex either, I consider myself to be Asexual.

I'm not asexual. I don't know how many times I need to state that. I don't believe that would be the only reason I don't enjoy making out/messing around. And it's not because I don't like the gender I've been messing around with…I do.

So, in case it's unclear:
1. I'm NOT asexual.
2. I like dudes.
3. I WANT to enjoy making out/messing around/sex etc.
4. For some reason I don't enjoy it even though I should because I'm NOT ASEXUAL and I LIKE GUYS.

I was just mentioning that I was Asexual and wasn't making any determinations about you.

BTW there are Gay Asexuals as well (those who are attracted to the same sex but not interested in Sex at all), I am a Straight Asexual though (attracted to the opposite sex but not interested in Sex at all)

From what I can tell....you are attracted and aroused......but when it comes to sexual contact, something inside you shuts down and doesn't want you to get any more enjoyment from it.

The switch turns off.

Does that sound about right?

I don't know if that's exactly it, but that's closer to how it is. Maybe it is just the medication? But I can get off on my own…it just doesn't seem like I can with another person.

The experience I had was that my medication affected both libido AND orgasms...I didn't want it and I couldn't get off by any means. That was unacceptable to me. And I told my doctor that.

Now I'm on Wellbutrin for depression and Buspar for anxiety....(both low incidence of sexual side effects)

Don't forget, on your own you know the most expedient and efficient route....And a one night stand won't know that. (maybe google your meds and libido)

But if a guy(?) makes your switch turn OFF upon physical contact, then I would say that you need to look into that aspect of it.

It absolutely sucks that we have to sacrifice an aspect of our lives in order to save another.

All I know was my libido was just fine until I started taking Cymbalta. And this wasn't about looking for the most expedient and efficient route, as know one knows that—I mean I don't even know that myself. And yes, I've spent years practicing…there's just no point anymore really. I mean, if you're not a dude, what's the point of masturbation if you're never going to have sex because you don't have a partner? I don't even know if I'll have another one night stand—I don't want to become emotionally attached to someone that's unavailable, yet again.

So maybe it's good that I'm on medication that suppresses my sex drive? Otherwise I would be even more depressed and/or having sex with random people before I explode.

A guy doesn't make me switch off…I get turned on by being touched by a guy, it's just that nothing can be done about it afterwards (i.e. I don't really feel as much when my arousal is trying to be relieved).

I was surprised to see this post as I also don't like kissing. There is no reason for it that I can think of but the idea of kissing leaves me cold and scares me. I have been married twice and had boyfriends in between and they were all okay with me not wanting to kiss.

Unlike others that have posted I am happy to have sex and everything involved. I am also more than happy to try out 'unusual' things. I can orgasm with no problem and love intimacy of cuddles and kisses on the body.

Most unusually I would rather give 'protected' oral sex on a man than kiss him. I don't know if this phobia has a medical name or not, and I don't let it bother me as I have had exciting relationships without the need for kissing.

I'm sorry it's a phobia for you, but I'm glad you don't let it bother you.

For me though, I fantasized (well at least I did) about kissing guys. I want to kiss a guy and I really wish I could feel something when I did. It could be connected with the sexual side effects that I have from Cymbalta which I can't go off of. I already talked to my pdoc and her opinion was I choose being calm and "zen" (I have really bad anxiety) or not having sexual side effects. She was pretty much like "too bad, how sad" about it. So what's the point in trying…I'm never going to have an orgasm with someone else because I'll be too stressed out about not being able to orgasm.

Even upon weaning off of Cymbalta didn't seem to help. Now I have a much higher libido and be fully aroused/get off quickly and easily, but contact with another person is still a no-go. I want desperately to like it because I don't get much out of masturbation other than some relief. There's obviously no emotional connection to be had and nothing special about it…even the orgasms mean nothing to me anymore. But I feel a need to do it more and more often.

And now, even though I have the opportunity (for once in my life) to have contact with another person (even if just kissing), I can't get over the thought of how disappointing it will be and I have no interest to do anything with someone else. Yet I feel empty and that I'm missing something irreplaceable.