Did you regret it?

(Ahh...this makes me feel like such an idiot)

But I was wondering....The person you had sex with (willingly) the first time....do you regret it? Do you think you should have waited? Why'd you pick him (or her)?
One more question: How old where you?

I'm 17 and I'm kinda sorta really wanting to have sex with this guy...but on the other hand i'm scared i'm going to ruin my life.
I don't have anyone i can talk to about it....so just blindly reaching out here. Anyone want to give me advice?

you are older than I was hon. I was 14 when I lost my virginity. at 15 I was pregnant and 2 months after I turned 16 I gave birth. regrets? sure I do but I love my daughter. I would not change that. sex at a young age is not good even if you don't get pregnant. in todays times there are many diseases out there. the emotional part seems really good at the time. young and in love kind of thing when years later is when it really hits you. you end up wishing like heck you had waited until that right one came along. I wish you luck in whatever decision you make.

I was sixteen my first time and while I do not regret being with him (as I married him three years later) I do think I should have waited until I was truly ready for a sexual relationship that brought a lot of emotional responsibility with it.

Oh to be seventeen again.
You should wait til you are older.

I lost my virginity when I was 16 and yes I regret it deeply. He ended up leaving me in the end to find some other girl that he could use to get what he wanted. I'm the same age as you are, I'm 17, but my suggestion is to wait until you know for sure and certain that this is the guy that you want to take your virginity. Waiting to have sex can eliminate possible heartbreak, pregnancy, and STD's. Oh lord I sound like an adult now, all I'm saying to you is to just make sure that this is what you want to do. Please keep me posted and let me know how things turn out for you!

Thanks everybody

I don't know if this is what I want. But I want him to stick around. He's not coarse enough to leave just because i won't have sex, but he came into the relationship expecting it. And although we're friends there's no reason for him to stick around if i don't give it to him. And, on top of that....i want to. I've never been with a guy who's as ....good as he is.
But my voice of common sense keeps telling me i'm going to get hurt.

I know he's temporary...but i kinda feel like...aren't they all? I know i won't have him forever, but shouldn't i take advantage of the time i get?

I guess i worry too much that i'm only gonna get one chance like this, (isn't that stupid?) and i don't want to let it pass me by. I've always been the girl in the shadows, then along he comes and makes me feel so special...so real.

I'm a silly teenage fool aren't I?

You're not a silly teenager fool.

I was 18 the first time I had sex, and I had been with the guy for about six months. I did regret it after - we wound up breaking up very shortly after that.

But now that I'm 22, I don't really regret it as much as I did then. And hindsight being what it is, I really don't think I should have waited. At the time, it was the right thing to do. And I learned things from it. And all we can do is make the best decisions based on the information we have. And now, four years later, I'm back together with the dude.

I think my recommendation would be to talk to him openly about how conflicted you feel. I wasn't really open with my guy at first, and that did make the experience more unsettling for me. But maybe if he knows how you're feeling, he can help you with that, or won't, and it'll make your decision more clear. Especially since you guys are good friends.

Please take all the advice your mind can accept from us old timers that have been there done that - IF he is only sticking around to get some then he is not worth giving it to... and he will surely break your heart if sex is all he wants from you.

Not true... I married my first and only and we are still together twenty-six years later - married twenty-three of those years.

BTW - I made him wait for six months before I agreed to have sexual intercourse with him, and trust me its not because he didn't try.

* * * * * *

Please Remain Safe - Emotionally

sphinx, I'm not going to tell you to wait... i really ain't got no room to tell you too, but I do have to say at your age I was pregnant with my first baby, I had two by 19. My boyfriend had a two year old when he was your age. Sex isn't bad or wrong or immoral, it's just plainly risky. It can effect your life if your not careful.

I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a friend, he wasn't even my boyfriend. Once he took my innocence he didn't have **** to do with me afterwards...great friend huh. Anyway, I did regret not waiting for a better person, and I did regret experiencing something so complicated so early in my life.

That's my story.... just saying, sex is very hard. There is nothing wrong with waiting if that's what you want to do.

I was 20 (an old maid by the standards here, apparently), we were friends, and while we had been flirting back and forth for a year, the actual sex part instantly destroyed the friendship. (Not because it was bad or anything, just because it was weird.) So yeah, I regret it. All these years later I still think about him and am sorry for not waiting. He might or might not have turned out to be "the one," but I miss the friendship. I did it partly because I liked him a lot (more important, he liked me back -- I'm not a guy magnet, now or then) and partly because I felt like it was high time to get it over with. Not a good plan, honestly.

Whatever you decide, be careful.

You are not a silly teenager sweetie. But I hope you wait until you are sure that the one you chose to have sex with is the one you love and respect.

It is a bad idea to have sex with someone just "to keep them around".

I was 17 when I had sex with my now husband of 42 years. We were engaged, and the one reason I decided to have sex was because I knew we were going to be married very soon.

I was brought up Catholic, and taught it was wrong----I believed that and still do. Being Pure was something I valued as a female. Keeping old fashioned ideas alive isn't all bad.

Having or not having Sex today is not what I'd want to be making decisions about - for some it is just expected when you date and I don't like that idea.

Too many STD's should be reason enough. Sometimes I used to regret not waiting until my wedding night, but that was just my upbringing. I'm glad to have had just one partner.

I think i'm going to try and talk to him about it....i'm just kind of intimidated. He's the kind of guy i thought would never be interested in someone like me...i really don't want to scare him off. But he's a good guy, really he is, for all his flaws. If I say i want to wait (and I right now i think i do) then he won't push me. He might not be so happy about it...but he's a man, what can you do?

At least we'll talk about it, and hopefully he'll make me feel a little more sure of where we are. I don't know when i'll get the chance because we're going to miss our normal date saturday cuz i'm out of town. Oh well, i need the time to get the courage up and to figure out what exactly i'm gonna say.
It certianly doesn't help that i'm shy to begin with.

Yeah I do regret it. I was 16 and my first was with my boyfriend at the time. I really didn't think much about it. We were safe and all that. We broke up and I started seeing the guy who is now my husband. We've been together for 19 years now. And he has made the comment that he wished he had been my first. And I wish he could of been my first. I was his first. And I feel bad I couldn't given that to him, but I can't change that now.

Hi, I regret the man I was involved with. I married him , but it didn't last. I had all my kids with him, but I was young. I was 14 the first time, and I had my daughter when I was 17. From reading your post it seems to me that you want a good relationship with him, but he's telling you that he wants something more then that. Honestly just from reading your post I would tell him no. If he chooses to break up because of that, then he doesn't care about you in the first place. A lot of girls and women make the mistake of giving the guy what he wants. When in reality a guy should be more concerned with pleasing the girl/woman first. No one can tell you what to do, but if I was you I would be asking myself if he's really going to stick around. It might be his pleasure, but your pain. A guy that cares will wait when you feel it's right with you. One more thought. If your scared then I really don't think your ready because he's pressuring you to do it. Take Care.

Talking to him is a good idea and if you want to wait... that's what you do. Don't feel pressured into it. If he's not happy about it, he's not the kind of guy you want to be with, right?

To answer your original question. I was 17. I'm a shy person too, but I knew I was ready and we both talked openly about it because we trusted each other. At the time I didn't regret it one bit. I, at the time, was in love with who I thought was an amazing person. Now, I do regret it because I know that he wasn't who I thought he was (lies etc... personal things).

It doesn't matter how old you are. The only things that matter are the two of you in your relationship, but most importantly your feelings. So go talk to him and good luck

Thank you to everyone who pitched in an opinion It's wonderful to have some guidence

So we finally had that talk....and it actually went really well. He was so good about the whole thing, he even said he'd wait as long as it takes for me to be ready, even if i'm never ready. He doesn't want me to do anything I don't want to.
I can't even tell you how relieved that makes me, knowing that he's not going to pressure me and he's not going to leave. I never imagined that things would turn out so well.
I don't know when i'll be ready...but i'm not ready yet and i know that now. And he knows it too and will be patient with me.

I never would have had the courage to talk to him without all your support. You are all the best.

I always told my kids "When in doubt, DON'T." Only one didn't listen and he's the one that decided he'd marry the girl hardly out of high school. He knew he wasn't ready for the responsibility, didn't WANT to be ready, but stepped up to the plate anyway, missing all the fun growing up has to offer. He had to grow up before he was anywhere near ready.

Does he regret it? Yes! But he wouldn't trade the baby girl they had for anything. They've also got two boys, too.

I lost my virginity at 16, too. Yes, I regret it! I was looking for acceptance and for someone to love me for me. HA! Luckily, I didn't contract any deceases or get pregnant... then. The pregnancy happend down the road a bit. BAD CHOICE!!!

I don't believe anyone is ready for the emotional commitment having sex brings with it at that age. I don't think any but the most callus woman is ever ready for that kind of committment unless you're married.

I do regret my first time. We weren't in love with each other and I felt dirty and used.

I highly recommend waiting till you are older. When you have sex it should be with someone who is "in love" with you and respects you. As mentioned in other replies...by waiting you avoid pregnancy, STDs, emotional trauma....list is endless!

There are other ways to show each other that you love each other and be intimate. You don't need to have sexual intercourse to prove to a guy that you love him...etc. And if a guy rejects you because you will not have sex with him or have oral sex......then this is a MAJOR sign that he is not worth your time or energy! Just pick yourself up and move on!

And just because "all your friends" are having sex doesn't mean you have to join the club. Do what feels right for you! And make sure you are on birth control and you (or the guy) are tested for STDs. Not every STD has a cure, although there are treatments for some STDs, it isnt worth the risk just to say you had sex.

I also recommend researching STDs so you know what they look like and the symptoms. This might put things into prespective for you before you have casual sex.

So I realize that you've already reached a decision, but i figured I'd throw my two cents in. Btw, the I key on my laptop isnt working too well, so be prepared for typos galore!

Anyways, I'm 22 and still a virgin. I've been with my boyfriend for three years, with a 6 month break smack dab in the middle. When I was younger and found out one of my friends was having sex at around age 14, I decided that the first time I had sex, I would wait until I had been with the guy a year. Well, with my current boyfriend, that year came and went, and I knew that I still wasn't ready. But now, two years later, we've made an attempt. But i wasn't, uh... in the mood enough? and it hurt like hell, and we stopped. Yes, I know, that may mean, to some, that I am not technically a virgin... In my eyes, I am. Regardless of all that, the experience just convinced me even more... We both want to marry each other. But I know that, if for some reason we don't get married in the future, that I still want hm to be my first, because I know that he cares about me and loves me and is willing to make sure I'm 100% comfortable before we have sex. He's never pressured me or anything, and I'm not his first. Anyways, the point of all this is so you know that there is nothing wrong with waiting and that you are not the only virgin out there. Wait until you know, for sure, completely, that you are with the one you really want to lose it too. There are other girls out there have the exact same thoughts as you

Best wishes,
Ro

I can't tell what to do...but I would suggest you wait.

I am 22 and I am a virgin.

If you want my reasons...send a pm

tc!

Hi Hon, Just wanted to add my 2 cents here. I was 16. We had dated for a year before we had sex. We broke up 6mo later but we got back together after 3 yrs apart and have been married/together for 15 years since then. I don't regret it. What I regret is that we were rushed and not prepared so i worried afterward. I have had 2 parts in my life and I married the first one. You have to do what feels right to YOU. If you want to, go ahead, just be prepared. USE PROTECTION. I truly don't see it as out of the ordinary that you want to and you really like him. Is he the kind of man/boy that you can be proud to have been involved with? I think that's a big question, if he is someone that you would be embarrassed to acknowledge then you shouldn't be with him.
Good luck with whatever you choose.

People usually laugh or end up choking on their drink when I tell them...

But I was 24 when I lost my virginity. I had been with my fiance for two years...and he is the only one I have ever had sex with. I joke that my husband has no idea if he is any good or not because what would I compare him to? LOL

I am so glad I didn't end up having sex with the men I had considered before. It wasn't always an easy thing to avoid...I am human after all.

Mmmm! Hindsight is a wonderful thing but of course at a young age we think we know it all. At 17 you are still learning about life. All I can say is make sure you feel it's what you want and not because you feel you will loose him if you don't. Once he has got his way with you it's a sure bet that is what will happen..

If you feel this way before, then don't do it! Listen to your inner voice. If he truelly respects you he will wait and won't continually hound you for sex. And make sure he wears a condom No Excuses!! and that you are on the pill. Teen pregnancy is not something you would want as you have your whole life ahead of you. Not to mention STD's that can affect your reproductive system later in life.

My step grand daughter is only 16 and she has had several partners all of who have dumped her in a short period of time once they had sex. She is confusing sex with love. It is rare to actually marry your first love and go onto raise a family.

My fear for her is that she will end up in an abusive relationship from lack of self esteem and will find herself pregnant and on her own at the end of it. She has dropped out of school, hasn't stayed at a job for any lenght of time etc. And everytime I hear from her she is in Soooooooo much love with the new male that has shown interested in her. Poor lamb has been thru hell, moving interstate to be with the love of her life, to be kicked out without any money to her name all because she told his mother to pull her head in. Both made her feel like a servant. She had to borrow money to get back to this state and thankfully is now living with her father, but for how much longer?

Only until the next guy comes along and tell her he loves her, just to get sex. So sad!

I lost my virginity when i was 16. I do regret it i slept with more than a handful of guys before i graduated and i did it thinking they would stick around. And it made me feel good to think i had thier attention. I was pregnant at 19. Had a baby with a very abusive guy. Got married to someone else about three years later. Now i'm 26 almost divorced and have two boys that i have to take full responsibilty for with no help from their dads.
I now am dating a wonderful guy that i had to pretty much have this conversation with the other night. Because I actually feel good when we have sex because he is so good to me and my boys. But he has a very low sex drive due to some medication he is on. It was so hard telling him that i always had sex to have the attention and then felt used and that i want to have it more with himbecause it feels right. Especially because he never asks to so i dont feel used at all.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that once you do it its so hard to understand all your feelings about it.
My sister just got married at age 33 and was a virgin. I knida wish i could have that. But i can't.
Just try not to have regrets they can consume you.
I wish youluck