[Tosspot]

So close Leo...!! I can almost taste it!

People have bottoms usually. The bottom is the bottom, everyone's is different. I didn't lose anything, didn't fail out of school, lose a job, or a family, never got arrested etc...

Most bottoms though do have one thing in common and that's usually coming to the end of self. You just can't stand where you are anymore. Bottoms are emotional, mental, spiritual. Usually "the breaking point"

You don't have to hit one to get sober although it helps to give you a push.
You can still hit "bottom" in sobriety too, I have.

Don't worry about "is this my bottom" or "when will I hit bottom." Chances are if you've decided you might need to quit drinking (etc.) you have already come to some kind of bottom. Just acknowledge that little bit.

Keep us posted!!! (((((((Caretaker Leo)))))))

[Caretaker Leo]

Checking in. Still here.

[madisgram]

holidays can bring up feelings of celebration and in early sobriety they were a trigger for me. so i wish you all a blessed holiday and be vigilant. your life may depend on it.
PS i'm so glad this thread has so many replies and stays active. "we" can do what "ourselves" cannot. many hugs to all.

[roads]

I've been sober since 13 Mar 1993 but anger & pain are two triggers I know to pay great attention to. That sobrity could be gone in a flash.

Many of my condo neighbors are staying holiday-level drunk this weekend, & I still have developed little tolerance for drunks. My workplace leaks formaldehyde which causes a horrendous headache. I can't take painkillers for it because... addiction. The headache is getting much better because I'm on break, but it's not really gone.

I'm going to AA twice a day with my sponsor. I'm hanging on. I wish I'd figure out how to tolerate these neighbors.

[hopefultoday]

I'm only 6 months sober and the holidays are difficult for me. I seem to be throwing myself a pity party lately because my family doesn't do anything for Christmas. They all go their separate ways and I will be alone. I stopped at the gas station tonight and it seemed like every person was coming out of there with beer. I was going to go in for some hot chocolate, but was too worried I might buy some beer too. I got in my car and came home. Thank goodness my HP nudged me to just go home. I am sober again tonight!

Wishing you all a sober, Merry Christmas.

....yep...

strange day old xmas!....for me anyway...i'm sure I aint the only one.

I ask myself the question everyday throughout sometimes the whole day...'drink?'

and today I figured it doesn't matter anyway even if I gave myself permission, because here in Australia ya need a pub to get drinks..or bottle shop. and of course it's all shut right? xmas.

so off I drive to get the paper and what the?...the bottleshops are all open and looking popular indeed!

And I just said out loud in the car NO WAY MAN! ... I kept going ...got my paper and came home and gave it no more thought...as though it was a magic trick I didn't see what happened.

apart from that, coming off a roaring bender 5 days ago..this usually can keep me immune for a few months or weeks at least.

it's a constant vigilance thing for me...and today it's ok

[Suki22]

after a not so great Christmas night I've decided no more drinking. does one day count?

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Suki22

after a not so great Christmas night I've decided no more drinking. does one day count?

YES! just do the same tommorow. one day at a time.

Hi,
I'm over a year clean and life is chugging along well enough. When I was using, I spent a lot of time and energy scoring and using. Raising money was a challenge also. I lived with lots of guilt.
Today, I have let go of that guilt. I am a better husband and step-father. I've been able to stop using nicotine(cigs). I attend two NA meetings a week, usually. All this did not happen instantly. I had to endure lots of hardship to get to where I am now.

I have a sponsor. I use the 12 steps to guide me away from using narcotics. I see a therapist. I've learned to avoid situations that might trigger a craving, and cope with difficult situations effectivly.

Life is worth it!

A.

...sober again today with zero cravings and it feels good

on another matter...I read some stuff about 'triggers' in another thread...relating to this forum, and I am aware I was responsible for alot of that here. alot of my posts before xmas were unhelpful to people.
I regret causing any distress.
I am not seeking an "it's ok mate"
I don't know much...but I know I was out of line.

and I do apologise

J

[Suki22]

well, there always is the "trigger" button we can click, but we don't always realize that what we write may or may not trigger others. we need to write what we need to write and can't always be resposible for how someone else may interpret it. thanks for your apology, dubblemonkey.

okay, I haven't had a drink since Christmas night. working it one day at a time.

[Betty_Banana]

I'm SO frustrated with myself. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that I don't get high. And I feel really good about it and I'm really confident it will happen.

But then, as the day progresses, I start thinking, oh it won't hurt to just get a 'little' high. This will be the last time. Or I will think it's not that big of a deal, I'm functioning, I go to work, do all the things I need to do, so what's wrong with getting high. Then I cave in, I get high, then I feel like **** about it.

I just keep making excuses. And every day I feel like a failure.

Hello lost in t.,

I heard a saying once that I find useful. It goes, "it's normal for an addict to use, it is a miricle when they don't." As far as narcotics go, stopping is in everones best interest, hopefully before tragedy or incarceration. When I smoked cigs, though, I allowed myself to use them, but when I quit, I gave it full effort. I smoked cigs to releive stress, I thought that obsessing about whether to smoke or not smoke, while smoking, defeated the purpose of smoking, which was to releive stress.

I went for a walk in the strangly warm weather in the northeast USA today. I am glad to be clean. I've been cig free for about 7-8 months. My mind isn't that burdened by nonsense. I feel good about the future. I hope to get some housework done today and have a good work shift tonight.

Thanks, A.

[hopefultoday]

I have been sober for 6 months thanks to my HP and AA. I am working on step 4 with my sponsor now, and I'm starting to see the wonderful things that can happen in this program. I got a chance at Christmas to make an early amends! This is sooooo great and is going to give me the motivation to keep going!

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by brookwest

"it's normal for an addict to use, it is a miricle when they don't."

I like that saying, I had never heard it before.

I thought today would be THE day I did good, but once again, I started thinking if I just get a 'little' high, it's ok. Cause it's not like I am getting so wasted that I'm non-functioning.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Lost_In_Thought

I'm SO frustrated with myself. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that I don't get high. And I feel really good about it and I'm really confident it will happen.

But then, as the day progresses, I start thinking, oh it won't hurt to just get a 'little' high. This will be the last time. Or I will think it's not that big of a deal, I'm functioning, I go to work, do all the things I need to do, so what's wrong with getting high. Then I cave in, I get high, then I feel like **** about it.

I just keep making excuses. And every day I feel like a failure.

there's a term used with alcohol and drug dependence. it's called "denial". we minimize our problem and end up where we left off....then say "how did that happen?" here are some of the reasons we use to justify or fool ourselves to use/drink again-

Common signs and symptoms of drug addiction

You’ve lost control over your drug use. You often do drugs or use more than you planned, even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. You may want to stop using, but you feel powerless.
Your life revolves around drug use. You spend a lot of time using and thinking about drugs, figuring out how to get them, and recovering from the drug’s effects.
You continue to use drugs, despite knowing it’s hurting you. It’s causing major problems in your life—blackouts, infections, mood swings, depression, paranoia—but you use anyway.

http://helpguide.org/mental/drug_sub..._treatment.htm

but there is a solution. willpower doesn't work so what does? i recommend a 12 step program of recovery. NA or AA. there are other useful programs but AA worked for me. the support of others either trying to stop or those who have succefully stopped gave me hope that i could stop too. and i did! having the desire and willingness to change were the keys for me to be free of the vicious cycle i was in feeling there was no way out.
hope this may help you.

........sober

[Betty_Banana]

Clean, for now.

I made a nice dinner for my family and some friends last night. I slept OK. I took the dog for a walk today. I had a strange conversation with a man who seemed confused, while I bought the daily newspaper. I sat next to our lovely, but polluted, river in the city where I live. It is a relaxing place to sit. I haven't thought about using today, at least not seriously. I had a good talk with my psychologist yesterday. He seems to know what he is doing, as far as therapy goes. I wish I had some more friends, using gave me a bigger social life. It is going to take some time to build healthy friendships. I feel good about today and I'm not scared of the future. I'm not sure if my future will be super great, but I think my life is, slowly, becoming more enjoyable and less depressing.
Thanks, A.

I jump-started an online language program this morning and realized how much it meant to me. Later, I found release in wood splitting and a long walk. Tonight I am eating leftover stirfry and veggie calzone. Tomorrow I will swallow my exhaustion (with self and familial in-fighting) and head over to my parents for the weekend. I am sober and have let go of everything. My new year has already started.

[AniManiac]

3 days sober for pot. The irritability has passed and rationality ensues. I'm feeling a bit better, though rather embarrassed about being all rant-y the other day. For me, that's probably the worst of the withdrawal, so I just have to keep resisting the temptation. It's a lot harder on stressful days or when I'm feeling low.

I've decided I'll work on alcohol more next, but probably not immediately. One thing at a time. I recognize that it really is the only sensible course of action to try to allow my meds to do their thing and get stable without adding extra chemicals to the already whacked-out mix.

[Hearty]

Originally Posted by gulas

I jump-started an online language program this morning and realized how much it meant to me. Later, I found release in wood splitting and a long walk. Tonight I am eating leftover stirfry and veggie calzone. Tomorrow I will swallow my exhaustion (with self and familial in-fighting) and head over to my parents for the weekend. I am sober and have let go of everything. My new year has already started.

This was inspiring to read. Thank you for sharing it.

Although I could find many excuses not to go, today I forced myself to accept an invitation to go trail running, and had a blast.

Afterward we warmed up in front of a fireplace at a restaurant. Although my friend was having wine, I stuck with seltzer and juice, and treated myself to some gourmet pizza and appetizers. It ended up being a really nice day where I almost felt free from pain. I'm grateful and proud that I gave myself a chance to have this day. Day 16.

[noneedtoknow]

Originally Posted by Suki22

after a not so great Christmas night I've decided no more drinking. does one day count?

One day is all we have

Originally Posted by noneedtoknow

One day is all we have

sometimes I have to break the day down into hours...and then even minutes....all the way to desperate seconds.

sober today....at 5:46 and 30 seconds (Australia time)..pm

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by morningcalm

This was inspiring to read. Thank you for sharing it.

Although I could find many excuses not to go, today I forced myself to accept an invitation to go trail running, and had a blast.

Afterward we warmed up in front of a fireplace at a restaurant. Although my friend was having wine, I stuck with seltzer and juice, and treated myself to some gourmet pizza and appetizers. It ended up being a really nice day where I almost felt free from pain. I'm grateful and proud that I gave myself a chance to have this day. Day 16.

each day a new beginning, MC. i wish you well on this journey towards a new life.