[Mindinpieces]

How do you get over a constant on edge, anxious, fear type feeling? It’s like that dreaded feeling you get when you think something terrible is going to happen but it never goes away and gets worse when thinking about or having to do anything/ just daily things. How do you calm down and not give into that feeling. It’s almost like it takes over your body and it’s hard to overcome or not let it show you are feeling the way you feel at those moments which isn’t a good way to come across. Thinking positive things or trying to distract your thoughts doesn’t really help me personally because it’s always there in back ground. Sort of like tug of war and it always seems to pull me back so to speak.

[carrie_ann]

Mindinpieces, same here, so sorry i can't be of help ...just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[Perna]

It sounds like you get this feeling when you are with other people (mostly). If that's the case I'd make sure I had some "down" time where I am alone, doing what I want. I'd start a walking or other exercise program to get rid of some of the edginess if I could and I would do without caffeine/soda/chocolate and learn how to do deep breathing. Maybe take a yoga or relaxation class? I'd do a lot of reading, listening to pleasant music.

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by Roz_G

Mindinpieces, same here, so sorry i can't be of help ...just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Thank You Roz_G, I hope we both can find something to help ease this. I will be think you and sending you hugs

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by Perna

It sounds like you get this feeling when you are with other people (mostly). If that's the case I'd make sure I had some "down" time where I am alone, doing what I want. I'd start a walking or other exercise program to get rid of some of the edginess if I could and I would do without caffeine/soda/chocolate and learn how to do deep breathing. Maybe take a yoga or relaxation class? I'd do a lot of reading, listening to pleasant music.

Thank You Perna you have some good suggestions.However at the moment I need something a little more to get over this feeling. Wish you all the best.

[Mindinpieces]

This happens mostly when having to be or work around people. But not just being around people like before I go out or contemplating getting back to what’s expect of me. At the moment I am unemployed. It’s hard to get over this feeling and allow myself to be comfortable/ able to apply to a place. Let alone think of an interview or working at that place. This is like over fearing simple things and sometimes this can get so stupid. I do have a lot of me time/ working on activities. However it doesn't really make much difference for me personally to lessen this feeling. I think it's because I am not in a stable place right now. So I am over worrying and stressed and that probably won’t change until I can get myself back to feeling stable. If that makes sense. However it’s no win because I need to try having less of this feeling to be able to get myself in better place. It’s stupid because I can overcome walking down a street by myself and travelling by myself, this was big deal as I was in an accident. Yet I can’t even just work at a place without coming across nervous or something not right. People would always pick up on this and I couldn’t help but let it show. I would just break down in tears most of time while working. I would hide in store room or find reason to go back there so I could cry and hope no one would notice. But I was on shop floor most of time I only would hide when I was about to cry because I couldn't stop myself at that point from crying. All because this feeling got too much. People of course couldn’t get that I could overcome one thing by getting myself to work, so they thought that I was fine but they didn’t stop to think what was going on in my head or what I was really feeling. Also they then couldn’t understand really my fear of being around other people in work situation. If that makes sense as well. Just some more comments about this fear type feeling I have.

[CedarS]

Exercise can really help.

When I'm in that on edge, flooded with general anxiety space - one of the last things I usually want to do is get out for a walk. I don't want to be outside, potentially around people, and I have lots of other reasons I don't wanna go.

But when I get dressed, get my shoes on, and just boot myself on out there, a walk always eases my anxiety symptoms. I do best if I meander, take it easy, walking fast can rev me up too much - other folks might do well with more strenuous exercise. Worth experimenting.

Exercise can be free and can really bolster our mood and sense of well being. Exercise can help us feel independent and more in control of our life.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd/2...r-think-again/

Edit added: Sometimes when people suggest exercise for my anxiety & other symptoms I've thought that they were being insensitive - I don't mean to come across that way at all here. I've needed therapy, some meds, life changes, time, along with exercise to help me along. Mind I wish you well and hope things ease up soon.

[muncie]

Dear mindinpieces, I know exactly what you're talking about, I have the same feelings. They come & go throughout my day. What works for me is shifting my thinking by doing something physical, getting busy. This isn't hard to do because I'm a caregiver and there's always something to do. What's really important though is try not to fear these thoughts, then they are magnified 100 times. Just tell yourself that they will pass and they can't hurt you. Thoughts are not real. The mind cannot stay on one thought for too long, we're not programed that way. Take care, and experiment to see what works for you.

[Mindinpieces]

Thank You CedarS I will take this into consideration. Will be thinking of you and wish you well as well.

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by muncie

Dear mindinpieces, I know exactly what you're talking about, I have the same feelings. They come & go throughout my day. What works for me is shifting my thinking by doing something physical, getting busy. This isn't hard to do because I'm a caregiver and there's always something to do. What's really important though is try not to fear these thoughts, then they are magnified 100 times. Just tell yourself that they will pass and they can't hurt you. Thoughts are not real. The mind cannot stay on one thought for too long, we're not programed that way. Take care, and experiment to see what works for you.

Thank You muncie for your comments. Will be thinking of you and wish you well as well.

sorry, I feel as though I am a bad influence!

I can so relate, though, to what you have written because I struggle with many of the same things you write of.

I was out of work, as well, and it was awful. The A/P became worse while I was at home, and the thought of interviewing gave me so much anxiety I can't describe it.

I suffered/struggled so much with that type of thing, I had to take an Rx to calm down. Once I was able to be calm(er), I practice deep breathing and positive affirmations from my T.

Since I've been practicing the deep breathing and affirmations, as well as excusing myself from large groups or uncomfortable situations, (I am gentle with myself. I am working on no judgment, beating myself up about it, as well. If something/someone is triggering me, I separate myself from the trigger).

I have had to take less anxiety-reducing meds with these tools. I am hoping to gain more so I can reduce my Rx even more. Gradually.

Please keep sharing and posting. We are with you.

Oh, btw, I just starting working again about a year ago after being OOW for 2 1/2 years. I have been working HARD with my T on the social anx / panic. I've come a way in the past 4 months; however, just today, I was in the elevator with 5 other people, and I thought I was going to freak-out (all I could think was deep breathing, meditation and telling myself over and over "don't panic. don't panic. you are safe. you are ok. you are almost there").

I literally wanted to tell everyone in the elevator, though, "I have such and such and such please stop breathing so I can have more oxygen!"

[Mindinpieces]

[quote=Rose Panachée;2330082]sorry, I feel as though I am a bad influence!

Rose Panachee, Please don't feel that way. I haven't taken this personally as I am sure you mean generally. However we/ other PC users have never met. Although you may think you influence people on PC forums or this is what I am assuming you mean, I am sure it's not in the way you think. Although no one would wish anything like this on another person. Sometimes it's that knowing you’re not alone. So if anything you have helped other PC users/viewers by sharing your experience and advice, thank you so much and I am sure other users are grateful as well for what you share.
Thank You for all of your comments, I will be thinking about you as well and wishing you well too.

[quote=Mindinpieces;2330106]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

sorry, I feel as though I am a bad influence!

Rose Panachee, Please don't feel that way. I haven't taken this personally as I am sure you mean generally. However we/ other PC users have never met. Although you may think you influence people on PC forums or this is what I am assuming you mean, I am sure it's not in the way you think. Although no one would wish anything like this on another person. Sometimes it's that knowing you’re not alone. So if anything you have helped other PC users/viewers by sharing your experience and advice, thank you so much and I am sure other users are grateful as well for what you share.
Thank You for all of your comments, I will be thinking about you as well and wishing you well too.

Thank you I just felt bad (influence) because I have to take an Rx where I think the others were helping with meditation, breathing, etc

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

Thank you I just felt bad (influence) because I have to take an Rx where I think the others were helping with meditation, breathing, etc

That doesn't make you an influence in any way. Sometimes, I guess, other users may have to take similar things as well but they may not like to share such info. So you never know and it doesn't make any difference. We all are different so there is no right or wrong way to what helps people get in better place. I just wish I knew what helps get me in better place.

Congratulating’s on having a job and working with your T . Wish You every success in future

[Mindinpieces]

I am not sure if I am capable of working at moment. One thing is my T sessions are coming to an end and well CBT didn’t work for me and she sort of said I should have said few things before so we could have done things differently. I was only doing what she said and well I did say that wouldn’t help but she thought I was trying to avoid things but I was trying to point out it wouldn’t personally help me. ARR if I knew what would work for me I wouldn’t have needed to see her, so how I was I to know it would just make me worse and feed back into what I went to see her for in first place. Yet at same time she said I wasn’t ready for work just yet. Even though I said I was, but that was lie to tell truth. I guess I need to own up and admit I need more help but don’t know what’s going to happen now. I have to wait till next week to say if I am ready or not ready. I am not ready and that’s the truth. I can’t even bring myself to volunteer at moment I keep leaving it off and don’t feel able to contribute to that. But might try phoning volunteer place in morning. Although thinking of that makes my heart want to jump out. So I really am not ready just yet. ARR I hate being scared and worrying I might upset/annoy people or make things go wrong. These last thoughts have some deep links to them which make them stronger then thoughts normally would be. If you can understand what I meant by that. Personally I am one of those people that thinks everyone/ thing is better off if I just didn't leave the house. Like if only I could just disappear. But when I get back to going back out in my real world it's like I bring the misery back as well and everyone who knows me suffers becuase of me.

[CedarS]

Originally Posted by Mindinpieces

Yet at same time she said I wasn’t ready for work just yet. Even though I said I was, but that was lie to tell truth. I guess I need to own up and admit I need more help but don’t know what’s going to happen now. I have to wait till next week to say if I am ready or not ready. I am not ready and that’s the truth. I can’t even bring myself to volunteer at moment I keep leaving it off and don’t feel able to contribute to that. But might try phoning volunteer place in morning. Although thinking of that makes my heart want to jump out. So I really am not ready just yet.

When I was in a situation like yours I ultimately had to really give myself a break and take little steps for awhile, not push myself with the out-in-the-world stuff much. I had to work on not telling myself I was bad and worthless because I was unable to work outside the home.

I did have to push myself with the getting out for walks and occasional restaurant & coffee house excursions.

Otherwise I had to focus on getting stable and safe. Things that helped me feel cozy and comfortable helped. I still have to watch that I don't fall into negative self-talk and I'm not always comfortable in the world, but I've come a long way.

I think we have to learn how to be good friends with ourselves. Wishing you well on your journey.

(For Rose: You aren't a bad influence at all, nothing wrong with taking meds, I've had to also)

[Mindinpieces]

Thank You CedarS, I am glad you made progress and wishing you well with continuing on with your journey. I will try again tomorrow couldn't do anything today. It's 20:28 were I am now so will try again in morning. Thank You once again

[muncie]

Originally Posted by Mindinpieces

I am not sure if I am capable of working at the moment

What about volunteering at a library just to get started. Not a lot of contact with people but still gets you out of the house. You could ask if they need help in the used book store, stacking shelves, etc. You remind me so much of myself as a young woman. Oh I still have issues but they're different as you age. There is only one answer and it's not easy but simple. You have to do the thing you fear in order to get over it. Try to think beyond your nervousness and what others think of you, decide what you want out of life and what you need to do to get it. The heck with everyone else who you might feel are judging you (they're probably not anyways). Most folks are solely wrapped up in their own lives and problems.

I wish you the very best, you're such a sweet person just overly sensitive like so many of us. I could tell you a lot about my youth and how I overcame my low self-worth and lack of confidence, but there isn't that much room here, LOL. Like I said the answer is simple, the work is hard. But I know you will make it. If I did, I know you can.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Mindinpieces, you also remind me of myself.

I am 44 and still struggling with social and agoraphobia.

I have dreams of being out there and still can barely call people on the phone or get out there and ask about a job, volunteer or paying.

I did not have much encouragement growing up, except very confusing messages from my aunt (primary parental figure) and then since I was five I was in the mental health system, which kept reinforcing that I was "mentally ill" and not too encouraging for me to get out there.

My life is just starting at age 44. I am beginning to question all those messages now and to unravel all the stuff I went thru growing up and as an adult till this point. And I am taking baby steps to integrate myself into the world. I was so isolated growing up, in the system and dealing with my aunt and dealing with Bruce (roommate) who also told me I was just "crazy". I am standing up to him now.

I pray I can get out there too. It is so hard.

I hope you can find a way.

Keep talking.

When there's a will, there's a way.

We can work thru this.

We can.

Billi

[Mindinpieces]

Thank You so much muncie, I do appreciate your comments and advice. However I am sure I would be more sincere at a later date. Wishing you all the best.

Thank You Billi for your comments, I am glad things are starting to work out for you and I wish you all the best with your journey and getting out there. I will be thinking about you. Like I said I will probably be more sincere at a later date.

[Mindinpieces]

I am sorry at the moment I still couldn’t bring myself to get out of my bed today sad, horrible truth. The reason I didn’t was I am still wrapped up in myself and my anxiety. That even if I volunteer, I would only be a pain and no help and it’s not fair as you put yourself forward. I know the anxiety will always for time being be strong and the only way to get over this is to face my fears. I guess it is so stupid, I am capable but I guess I don’t really want this at the same time or something is holding me back. Otherwise my T said if I really wanted this then I would be making progress and just not wasting time by trying task that won’t help and for some reason make me feel worse. Really only because I couldn’t face this part coming up and trying to leave it off but also the hope that might have helped lessen the anxiety but it didn’t personally.

I know my T said the anxiety will get worse but you have to stay in that moment doing whatever you were doing until the anxiety comes down and you have proven yourself wrong. And that the want to run and hide is not the only option and you are capable, well at least that’s what I am like. I know if I did this I probably would prove myself wrong. But there’s that silly thought what if the volunteering go’s wrong or I prove my fears to be right. Then this just give evidence towards not being worthy of working and existing. I don’t know if I will try enquiring over weekend about volunteering or if I leave it off too Monday or later in week. But I think best to wait till thinking bit more clearly and able to contribute something. I only stay away so I am not in other people’s way or causing them trouble. Who wants to put up with a person like me how is, so caught up in themselves they muck everything up and should know better or not let so much get to them. This is just so stupid that I feel in such a way about nothing really and this causes me and other people problems.

I guess sooner or later I will take steps needed and I can’t just keep putting things off. Sorry I really am not the best portray of a human at the moment but hopefully I can sort this out. So not to let this behaviour carry on. Thank You so much to everyone who has posted for sharing your advice, views and experiences. I honestly really appreciate your replies. Hopefully I can reply at a later date saying I have taken some steps needed and how things are going sometime next week. Think I just need to step away from computer and get enquiring and talking to places as a start. Although going to bed would be good start for tomorrow with a good night’s sleep, it is 22:48 now here. Thank You to all once again, will report back next week.

[muncie]

Originally Posted by Mindinpieces

I am sorry at the moment I still couldn’t bring myself to get out of my bed today

Another thought, have you considered anxiety meds? When anxiety is that strong, they can be a lifesaver especially in provoking situations. I have used them all my adult life, but only when needed; job interviews, dr. appts., etc. If your T can't prescribe them, a family dr. can, mine did. Now one caution is you can't take them every day because eventually they won't work as well, your body will adjust and you will need more and more, and you definitely want to avoid that. But they certainly can take the edge off when anxiety inteferes with your ability to function in the outside world...take care and don't be so hard on yourself, there are so many that share your situation; I understand completely and wish you all the best

[CedarS]

I think anxiety meds are definitely worth a try. Some are for "as needed" times, also there are other meds that can be taken daily.

Mindinpieces - hope you also have had a good physical health check up.

[ItchyHaunt]

Hi Mindinpieces. This is weird. I was just about to post a new thread asking pretty much the same thing. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth! The only difference is that my anxiety, or whatever it is, comes with a persistent aching kind of feeling in my chest, but it's not physical. Really hard to describe. Anyways, it got so bad today I went back to plotting ways to terminate my life again when I was trying to sleep. Then I just emotional snapped. I started bawling and called a suicide hotline, but then hung up cause I just couldn't talk to the person over the line in a comprehensible way. God it sucked.

Sorry, that's just been on my mind and I guess I got a little carried away with the keyboard. What I really wanted to say was:

1.) You're not alone.
2.) Even though I don't know you, I really do feel sorry for you. I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone.
3.) I personally have not found a way to ease these thoughts when they come. As you said they kind of work in the background. But I have not had the opportunity to try many therapeutic techniques yet, (such as medication, electric shock therapy or hypnosis) so maybe there is something out there that will help, I just haven't found it yet.
4.) I wanted to let you know, to me you seem like a very considerate person. Just something I noticed through your postings. You seem... genuine... I guess is the word. I really wish there was more I could do. I really do. For the both of us. And although I can't, I don't want get you discouraged. I really think that there may be something that can help us. I just hope I'm not some fanatic desperately clinging to life when there really is nothing left. Eh... Well, I tried to keep it positive...

Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for the thread. It actually made me feel better. Not a whole lot better, but still better. Hopefully I'll see you later a little more happy and less anxious. Good luck.

[Mindinpieces]

ItchyHaunt, Thank You for so much your kind words. You come across as very caring person, just wanted you to know that. I hope you are doing well. I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best. I hope you keep coming here and able to find help with what you are going through, if/ when you are ready to open up. I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. Also I am sorry that although we can post here and share words there is nothing more I can do for you. I really wish I had some answers, so I could share with you and other people how to over this but at the moment I am still searching for those.

I just wanted to say don’t feel discourage to post a similar thread. Please if you feel ready to open up, post the thread you wanted to. Even if you think people may not reply because it is similar to another thread, that is not true. I am sure other PC user will be more than happy to reply to you as well and able to give you good advice tailored to you personally. Although we all may go through same feelings, situation etc. it will be slightly different person to person. So when you are ready please post your thread. Sorry I am not good at wording myself well or in an understandable way. I mean this in a good way. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on help because you think another person asked that/ something similar there for you didn’t post your thread because of that.

Another thing please don’t let me discourage you about therapy. I am sure it works but it’s one of those things that work’s differently person to person. So I am sure you can in future find a therapy that would help you. There are many out there and I haven’t tried them all. I have only had small experience with them really. I also know that I will take some things learned from CBT with me for future that may be of some help but just not at this present time.

I couldn’t stay away from my computer and couldn’t sleep it’s almost 6:00 in morning here now. Anyway that’s enough about me. Sorry I am just broken record so nothing has changed just yet. Sorry if I am of no help to you, I wish I knew what to say or how to reply to be of help. I will be thinking of you and sending you big hugs