Anxiety Daily Check-In point #8

I'm so tired of being afraid all the time. Just when I get a handle on one worry and it starts to subside, I begin to worry about something else. After talking with my friend I felt on top of the world because I was able to put my worries to bed with some good logic, and was maybe even looking forward to the future, which hasn't been the case for me in years. Then the last couple of days, my anxiety has given me several other things to worry about. Now I'm afraid of dying and of living, of failing and being successful, of a dozen different scenarios for the future, most of which can't even happen. I'm ready to be done with life and ready to live it with gusto. I am so tired of it all.

How am I ever going to get out of this mindset if just being happy makes me scared.

I have been feeling sad & scared much of the time. Thank goodness for these forums. It's so hard sometimes. Thank you, all of you, for being here! I know you are hurting, but you post & keep trying, which gives me strength sometimes. I hope it's ok to say God bless you, dear friends.

The universe is reminding me today that I need a nudge to make a decision on some minor issue with my life. I realize that, that is all the universe is doing. Nudging me to take action. I'd rather the universe give me answers. Trying to come up with them for myself sucks. With all of the collective experience of every living being on this rock and the entirety of the universe, you'd think I could at least get a "yeah, just do this."

I wish living was just a fraction of a percent easier. Not rainbows and unicorns, just a smidge easier. Maybe a Magic 8 Ball that actually works and has more options. "Oh, magic 8 ball, what should I do?" "Answer is unclear, but have a cookie anyway."

I was going to go to the grocery store this morning but my plans didn't go as planned. My dad went with my brother instead and bought all of the stuff. I have to plan because of my anxiety.

I had a lot of anxiety as it is today and it does not help that I am at a legit increase risk for a heart attack or a stroke. So I have to figure out how to calm down. Today I limited my caffeine, deactivated my facebook, and got into reading again. Plus I drank more water then normal.

My anxiety is manageable right now.

It's been a rollercoaster for a couple of days. But right now I'm freaking out quite a bit. I have this big task I need to complete soon. If I don't my life will be in a pretty precarious place. The worst case with the task, has very little possibility but it's still not zero. I talked to my friend about it a couple weeks back and they did some research and said it's shouldn't be too difficult and should work out. I have no actual evidence for believing the worst case and I have, at the very least, my friend's research to support the better case. But I can't stop assuming that the worst case is all that I'm likely to get. I'm so negative about everything that I just assume my life is circling the bottom of a toilet and then POOF, life will be over. Gggaahhhh! I hate feeling like this. My logical brain knows better, but my emotions are getting the better of me. Again.

Hey universe, I asked for a meteor to crash through my ceiling. Should I go paint a giant X on my roof to help guide you? Let's go!

My anxiety was really bad this morning. Then it took a break for a few hours. Now its bad again. Its too early for any of my night meds so I either need to use distraction or just deal with it until I can take my meds.

Generally things are a tiny bit better today. Not so much up and down of my mood and my anxiety is dampened. It is cold and snowy here today, but I got out very early for some groceries, because something I like was on super sale (while supplies last) so I made sure to get some. But I've not thought that much about S (you know what I mean, but I am not allowed to discuss it here). I'm not sure why things are even a little better today, considering the weather, but I'll take it.

This big task I have is still hanging over my head. I'm not sure why I can't just get it done. It will be stressful and will probably send my anxiety through the roof while doing it, but once done the clouds part and sunshine comes in. Just can't make myself do it and I don't know why. Would I really rather be homeless or S instead of doing this task? Feels like it for some reason.

took my usual medication but not the "emergency pills", but I still can't stand the noise outside ...
everything's just really loud, but it's been a good day once I got back inside / got away from people.

Well things are weird right now. My big task has been looming for some time and I've been putting it off because I thought it would not work out. For some reason, today, I decided to take a couple small steps to get that done. I went to one place and they basically said, "Yeah, your worst case scenario is what's going to happen." I freaked out. I assumed that my life was over and that this was the end. I called the vet to check on my dogs vaccination status for kenneling. Then I actually started to feel calm because I knew that what I had assumed was going to happen was going to happen. Clean up my life, get my dogs shots updated and be ready for the end. BUT! I texted my friend who had said they thought it would be easy and they calmed me down and offered other options. So, I went to this other place I do business with and they let me do exactly what I wanted and didn't raise a fuss at all. I wasn't even planning to have my big task done today, or even next week, but here I am, with it completely done. I need to wait for it all to finish out, but by next Friday, things should be OK. Really couldn't have been easier at the second place.

This was literally the difference between living and dying for me. I don't know why things have to be so difficult, I guess to prevent people from making poor choices, but sometimes that's all you're left with.

But, note to self, this is it. I can't keep sitting on the sidelines. I MUST get on with my life. New job, new home, new town. Stop waiting, the universe isn't going to take me on my schedule, so it's time to live.

I had a little bit too much of our drinking water and my anxiety went through the roof. My mom claims its not contaminated theres just something in it I'm reacting to. But I normally use a small glass that I take sips of water out of all day because I can't drink a lot of it. The weird thing is this started right after I got the second covid shot. Anyways I took some of my meds a bit early so things are starting to calm down.

Do you have or could you try one of those filter things? I use a Brita (getting rid of the B) pitcher and it works pretty well, though the filters are costly.

I don't have a brita I just use the filter from the water on the door. Is that the same thing?

Might be. I pour tap water through the filter on the pitcher. Probably works the same. Just a guess.

I have been experiencing terrible anxiety & sadness. I keep hoping I will leave this stage of whatever it is soon.

I had anxiety around 11 which once again turned into nausea. The same as usuaul. I watched how much water I drank and I didn't have any Pepsi or Mountain Dew or coffee and I didn't have any caffeine after 9AM. I took my melatonin so I am starting to relax. I was not anxious about anything in particular so I am guessing its just this nausea thing again. I've ignored the news besides the headlines.

My anxiety seems to have been caused by a physyical issue. I think. Because I drank a mountain dew and my anxiety wasn't super high all day. Like it was a bit before the mountain dew but my meds have worked all day today so I was able to get it under control.

My anxiety levels have been super high, my hands tremble a lot and my voice shakes. I wish I didn’t get anxious, I think it makes me much more tired!

My anxiety isn't acting up much at all but I know it's because I'm not thinking about or doing any of the things that start it up. I live in fear of the anxiety and do and don't do everything anything to avoid it and I can't keep doing this. I have got to start doing the things that cause me anxiety because I'm doing nothing but distracting myself and the bare minimum otherwise. Why oh why did anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia have to enter my life!? Wasn't the depression and low self esteem enough? Guess not.

My anxiety is ramping up. It's late in the day. I need to go to bed. I need my meds.

I switched to bottled water a few days ago and the anxiety issue was pretty much instantly solved. Now though I'm drinking 4 bottles of water a day. Which I feel like is adding up in terms of money but I stopped going to Starbucks since I also went non dairy. And that instantly solved the nausea issue. So my anxiety has been much better since I got my physical issues under control. I'm bad at math but the water I drink is $4 for a case of 24 bottles and my Starbucks coffee is $6 each. So I guess I'm saving money. But I mean theres really no other option if I figured out that the tap water was one of 2 of my issues. Dairy being the other.

I hope you continue to feel better @Mountaindewed

My anxiety is extremely high. It’s so rubbish. It’s making me even more tired because everything is going through my mind constantly.

I think I'm on a good med combo with the 3 valium a day and now the 3 topamax a day. Then my noon 20mil Geodon and my 2PM stuff and my 4PM melatonin and my 5:30PM stuff. I think the combo works out well for my anxiety. Of course these arent really taken as prescribed. Like I shouldnt be taking them at these times. But it works well for me and keeps my anxiety low for the most part to split everything up.

I'm very upset right now. My online T pissed me off. I took some Klonopin. If I don't calm down soon, I will take more. I don't care.