[KeepGoing8]

Hello. I'm 27, been having severe depressive episodes since age 10 or so? I've never really understood what Mania was, felt like, or looked like, and I definitely pull harder, and longer into the depression breakdown lane...but this last month or so, I've come off Paxil and Percocet (kidney stone pain) and quit smoking cigarettes, and I have an uncontrollable rage, intensity, combativeness, and sex drive that's frankly scaring me and totally freaking out my husband. I saw a new T for the first time last week and he feels confident I am in a "temporary bipolar state" from the Paxil withdrawal, but these are feelings I recognize, mostly from childhood and high school years. And from further research, I also recognize a positive Mania that would always follow my childhood\adolescent depressive episodes: euphoria, awe at the beauty in the world, a heart with wings...and I remember missing that "high" when they started me on Prozac in college. Right now the Mania, if that's what it is, is all rage and I am having trouble with my marriage, taking care of day-to-day responsibilities, and controlling violent SI outbursts. I hope it is okay with you good folks if I join the community for support? Even if I'm just in a "temporary BP state"

[Everest]

I know what you mean

[IJustWantToBeNormal]

Hi all. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was about 36 years old. I was not very compliant with medication and was also an active Alcoholic at the time. I also suffer from panic/anxiety attacks, my first being at 13 years old.

I got sober 12 years ago and didn't feel I should be on ANY medication so I was active in my Mania and Depression for many years (I think my new husband just thought I was wacky!!)

In January of this year I relapsed for 2 weeks and am now back in recovery and am willing to address my Bipolar disorder and stay compliant with meds.

I am looking for support as I really didn't want to give up the "manic" side of me! Also I am extremely tired as I titrate up on my Lamictal (just went up to 100mg on Friday) and Dr also added Zoloft on Friday as well.

So glad there is a support group as I usually don't talk at my Bipolar at AA meetings, although my Sponsor has a sister with Bipolar so that helps!

[deadphish]

Hi,

I'm from Missouri and am very happy to find your community. I'm 38 and have a wife and kids.

I am trying to figure out if I have BP. Just found out it has run in my family for a few generations today. I always knew something was wrong with my mom and grandma, and I've waged a semi-successful battle against anxiety/depression the last 7-8 years. I thought I uderstood what BP was until I did some reading up on it today. There is a lot of evidence to support a diagnosis IMHO, if interpreted that way I guess. Of course I will be discussing this with my pdoc at our next visit. I don't see him too often so this is a great reason to make an appointment.

I have been a member of an anxiety online support group before and found the stories and advice extremely valuable. If I am BP, you might be hearing a lot from me.

[grlnmt66]

[QUOTE=deadphish;2345198]Hi,

I'm from Missouri and am very happy to find your community. I'm 38 and have a wife and kids.

I am trying to figure out if I have BP. Just found out it has run in my family for a few generations today. I always knew something was wrong with my mom and grandma, and I've waged a semi-successful battle against anxiety/depression the last 7-8 years. I thought I uderstood what BP was until I did some reading up on it today. There is a lot of evidence to support a diagnosis IMHO, if interpreted that way I guess. Of course I will be discussing this with my pdoc at our next visit. I don't see him too often so this is a great reason to make an appointment.

I have been a member of an anxiety online support group before and found the stories and advice extremely valuable. If I am BP, you might be hearing a lot from me.[/QU

[mindfreak]

hello, I am a 29 yr old female and i have been diagnoised with bipolar disorder officially today and prescribed depakote, i am looking forward to learning alot from the forum, so hello to all !

[jaypop30]

HI my name Is Jason and I have been recently diagnosed with Bipolar. I am currently going through a divorce do to disorder. Although my wife says the Bipolar disorder is just an excuse. I feel releaved that I have found out what my issue is but scared at the sametime. I am hoping that I will get on the right meds to balance my life out so I can get back to normal.

[ninja_repo]

Hey y'all. I'm Amber, I live with my fiance and our 17 month old lab-pitt mix in central TN.

In my early teens my mom called me "the female version of Dr. Jekyle and Mr. Hyde." Around the time I turned 21 I started slipping down a deep slope into a heavy depression. For the first time in my life I felt alone and wanted to kill myself. That was when I told my mom my feelings and she helped me get help. I was on several combinations of meds until I finally gave them all up. That was 4 years ago. I have not taken any meds since then because each combination seemed to be worse than the one before.

I have learned to tell when I have a mood coming on. I've tried getting to know my triggers and removing those triggers, but it isn't always easy. I have a tendency to snap without realising it. Like, for example, someone will say something and I will take it out of context and yell at them or say something mean. I instantly feel bad, and apologise. But, then they say something else and I snap again.

I have been wanting for years to find some support, I just wasn't sure how to reach out. I really hope that these forums can help

[madrikh]

Hi, I'm Marci. I am 46 (bday in 4 days) and have BP2. I have been depressed since childhood and have experienced a lot of hypomania (mostly Dysphoric). I have only been seeing a pdoc for about 6 months. I have tried lots of meds through my GP, but many of them were anti-depressants that put me into H-mania...didn't know at the time what that meant.
I'm looking forward to learning, gaining and giving support through this forum.

[icinggurl]

I think I found my people! (you guys) I could cry I'm so happy. Ever since I got out of the last hospital 6 years ago, I've felt like a freak and have been repeatedly warned by my mother not to reveal my diagnosis to anyone. I feel incredibly alone no matter how many 'normal' people tell me they love me. I have no one to comiserate with really and no one to bounce these very personal worries off of.
I'm a musician too, technically, but I feel like a failure at that. I still sing and occasionally get paid, but I'm not where I thought I'd be at this age. When I started college, I expected to eventually get a doctorate in music and teach somewhere. Instead, I only have a bachelor's and am now a 41 year old woman on disability and in a bad marriage. I saw someone else said they didn't get diagnosed until they were 41? I didn't either until I was around 35-36. My family still doesn't believe it, even though they were witness to my mania. They think it was a bad drug reaction, but my docs disagree and they're the final authority in my opinion. The mania was the scariest thing I've EVER experienced and once I was calmed down in the hospital, I remember thinking, this is officially hitting bottom. I recently underwent 18 ECT treatments and the recovery from that has been much harder than I expected. I'm not saying ECT is a bad thing at all - it's a godsend for so many people and my doc is happy with my results - it's just different from what I expected and frankly feels kind of traumatic, although there is no rational reason for that feeling. I just want people to know I'm not anti-ECT at all. Just struggling that's all. Anyone else had that? I don't know a single person who's had it done, which only adds to me feeling like a freak.
I sound like I'm whining. Just feeling frustrated.

[Dragonfly33]

I too am grateful to have found this place! I was diagnosed in 2004 (at age 35) and it was like pieces of a puzzle fitting together and being slapped in the face all at the same time. I'm looking forward to finally being with people "like me".

[BashfullOne]

My name is Sherry, I suffer from Bipolar II - I hate this time of yeah! I'm always really depressed and end going on buying sprees! It may ruin my marriage if I don't stop. I need to sell and not buy!! I will try selling some of the purses I've out on eBay. I need something to do... I also suffer from agoraphobia, afraid to leave the house, afraid of people, including family members, and I don't talk on the phone. I'm only comfortable with my husband and sons and their spouses. No grand children. I'm depressed most of the time. I want to find peace.... I tried once but will hopefully never o that again. But I'm not a very strong person.... I will try to stop spending. But it gives me something to look forward to. I need to stop!! I will stop!!

[icinggurl]

I'm so sorry Bashful. That sounds miserable. I can relate. I don't have agoraphobia, but I'm very familiar with those type of feelings. I guess it's intermittent agorapobia. I would suggest counseling if you're not already doing that. Meds can only fix us so far - at least for me. I find that counseling is almost as necessary as the meds. The meds make us calm enough to participate in therapy. Take care -

[Pulpit]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

Hi. I'm new here. Living with Bipolar. Needing support. Not too sure how to use this site? Feeling awful today. sigh

[Pulpit]

Hi I'm new here. Living with bp and no meds...ugh Looking for support.

[danika617]

never done this before

Hi all. I just tried to post a thread but it does not seem to show up. Does it take a while?

My bad! Just read the email they send out...Silly me.

[crystalh79]

Hi my name is crystal and I'm here looking for stability for me and my children. I've become emotionally unavailable on my new meds and am seeking new meds to rectify this ....if any ones knows the magic med combo please share!

[shantam]

OMG, I have been reading all the comments from eveyone. I am 59 and have diagnosed with BP 10years ago. I am still trying to get into the right medication. So I seem stable but there is a lingering depression. Want to get into the right medication, getting a new Dr. and hopefully that will help. I am happy to be on this board and write what I am feeling but also to read what everyone is going thru. It sure helps knowing that I am not alone. Thanks everyone.

[leve]

Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I three years ago when I was 23 and had my first manic episode. Finally accepted and sought proper treatment in the last 9 months alone. Hope to be active on the forum and gain a lot of insights!

[teenytiny]

Hi all> I am so confused. My psychiatrist always told me that i did not have bi-polar it was a mood disorder> Now from what i have read up on there are only 2 other conditions that are labelled mood disorders. I have recently made a move and had to get a new doc. She is very certain that i have bi-polar. Been on lithium and other meds for about 5 yrs and doing better! But why would my doc not tell about the bi-polar? Doc here has my files from him and i feel like he just didn't want to tell me. Why would he do that??? Please help

[DavidNM]

Originally Posted by deprofundis

Morning, all. My name is Rene. This is the first time I've ever considered talking to other people on a message board about my condition, my problems, my ongoing battle with Bipolar I, dissociation/depersonalization, and OCD tendencies. After 7 years of misdiagnoses (and a 2-year stint of intense treatment for Dissociative Identity Disorder, which I didn't have), I was finally diagnosed properly and put on the right medication. I'm a working professional and reasonably stable but with an everyday baseline of lingering depression. My life is empty. I don't do well with people. I've never had a single romantic relationship before, only brief encounters. I feel highly uncomfortable in crowds and around people I don't know. When I'm at work, that's the only time I can keep it fully together -- I literally split, into a different kind of person, to keep super-stable in my job and be able to handle being around other people and deal with my many responsibilities. The moment I walk out of the doors and get into my car to go home, though, this persona drops and I'm often then overwhelmed by exhaustion, irritability, and simmering depression. I don't know where I'm going in my life. I turned 27 this year and, while some people think that's young, considering what I haven't yet achieved or even gotten close to achieving, I feel like a complete failure. No relationship, no further in my chosen profession, no graduate degree, no financial stability, loads of debt from manic spending sprees, etc. On top of all of this, every day I think about the darkness. The days spent locked in my room, completely overtaken by severe, psychotic mixed episodes, filling whiteboards with what I thought was the secret of life itself... cutting, picking, and being self-destructive. Loss of any and all control. And, now, I constantly feel the need, the urge to get it back. To let go. To give up and let myself fall back into the darkness.

I guess I just didn't know where to turn, and so I turned here.

Hi Rene,
My name is David. I am 60+ and have a 35 year old daughter who was diagnosed with BPII at 19 years of age. It has been a tremendously difficult struggle for her and my wife and me.

She is now married for 5 years and has two great kids. I have a bit of BP and as I think about my dad, I believe he also had BP disorder. I was also diagnosed with clinical depression about 12 years ago. My life changed when I was diagnosed. For many years I felt worthless, lost and hopeless. I too shut myself off to the world and my family by falling asleep when I arrived home from work due to exhaustion and lack of sleep.

I lost my job in 2008 after a 30 year career in engineering. I decided to go back to school to become a counselor. Two more years to go! Please continue to see your doctors and therapists until you feel better. My daughter suffered for years with different psychiatrists and therapists until she arrived at the right meds and dosages. Do not give up and please know that your life can change.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

David from NM

[porcupine2]

Originally Posted by teenytiny

But why would my doc not tell about the bi-polar? Doc here has my files from him and i feel like he just didn't want to tell me. Why would he do that??? Please help

I understand completely - and in some ways I can understand why they don't let us see their diagnosis or prognosis, but at the same time where are my rights as a patient to know what is going on with me? I can get medical records but not psychiatric records. My doc says it is because many patients would not benefit from knowing, and it may do more harm than good if they feel they are 'labeled', or may not know how to cope with the diagnosis. I myself would like to see my records, but so far no luck.

[rotcehdiaz]

Hello Friends! It's my first time here. I try to get some answers for a particular situation I'm having right now, my boyfriend's behavior is so different lately. He begins to be obsessed with control, with what I do and I should do. Recently the relationship has been compromised for his stringent requirements. If I laugh, if I say or make a decition one way or another he always has something to say. Lately he's not happy at all with what I do or what I should do. And when I suggest that maybe I'm not the woman he wants and we should end the relationship, is when he want to talk and reach some agreements ... I'm mentally tired. Any ideas, diagnosis or solution? Need help!!