[avlady]

I hate my depression, it is really bad especially in the morning, does anyone else have morning depression?

[anneo59]

yes, sometimes morning is bad, but it helps usually for me to begin my routine, no matter what, tho not always. Had a lovely, quality family weekend, and got some things done also have been putting off, so feeling pretty well. Prob better than I have overall, in several years. On alert tho, for possible hypomania. But glad not depressed or paranoid. The best to you!

I was right about 2 hours possibly being very different. I am now very angry. A mistake I made (plus some coffee) has caused me to swing to extreme anger.

I can't tolerate these wild mood swings anymore. How am I going to make it another 8 days to 100 mg - - if even that will help me? I don't wish a mood disorder on anyone. It has been a living hell for me.

Somehow I have to hang in there. I hope like hell this lamictal will help me. I have suffered so much, as we all have.

Feeling angry, sad and frustrated. Now I am crying. I need help so desperately.

Originally Posted by avlady

I hate my depression, it is really bad especially in the morning, does anyone else have morning depression?

YES....mornings seem to be the worst for me...I almost hate waking up cause I need 20mins to 1 hour to process out all the depression. It's like waking up pops the cork on the depression bottle of champagne and it just flows out all over the place....and there is no joy in that bottle!

Lots of stress....over finances....just when I was about to make some headway....damned if I am not just set back months again. I hate my life some days.

Originally Posted by avlady

I hate my depression, it is really bad especially in the morning, does anyone else have morning depression?

Avlady, my depression seems to be worse in the mornings too.

[anneo59]

Hang in there, guys, and glad you can vent! And find support. And know you're not alone! I can certainly relate. Sometimes I feel like the energizer bunny avoiding mania or temper, or the lady on the Pristiq commercial who must wind herself up to get going! Ha! Lamictal has helped me, though some non-pharmaceutical outlets have also as well. Feel free to PM or write if need be, anyone. Be well, all! Ok, myself at moment! Avoiding mania at this time and getting overwhelmed!!!!

[TippPatt]

Woke very early and knew I needed to be up. Consequently, I did just that, took my meds, made coffee, came into the sitting room, opened psyche central and promptly went back to sleep for another four hours.

That was odd................

I have a very heavy week next week and knowing each of those are stress inducers, I'm assuming the worst but hoping for the best. I've been on a really big high which signals the low will also be as big or bigger. I can't say I'm looking forward to that, but I'm going to approach each moment of potential stress with as good an attitude as I can possibly muster.

WOW - that's a lot to ask from me, but I'm goin gto give it a good college try. I've done that a lot in my life and haven't always succeeded. I hope by now I'd of learned some great coping mechanisms. As my God John Bovey said, if you don't like what's happening in the particular moment, or how you're reacting to what's taking place, simply 'stop it'. I shall carry that with me. Hopefully I'll be able to reach into my 'center' and find that several times within each of those stressor moments.

:: But, I'm pensive. I don't always trust me to do well. (did I tell you that as I write this my eyes are literally crossing? It's rather an odd thing to deal with so early in the morning. I do hope it passes.)

[roads]

Hot and humid and severe thunder storms in Florida again ...
really triggering all pain points, as if they weren't topping out already.
Bipolar beginning to act up.



chew ...chew ...chew ...
GET OUTTA MY WAY, WORLD!!!

I have not been on a therapeutic dose of anything since March. Really hoping I will be able to tolerate this lamictal because I can't take these ups and downs anymore.

Just came off a 3-4 week hypomanic/manic phase which of course wasn't helped by 25 mg lamictal, probably curbed by saphris. Since Monday, was plunged quickly into a bad depression. All of a sudden, my world is doom and gloom and I feel like I'm up against a monster.

I believe my pdoc is good and knows what he's doing. That's one positive thing! He said viibryd should take effect after being on 20 mg for 2 weeks. That's another 2-1/2 weeks! How will I make it? I feel like I'm moving in quicksand. Energy is so poor. Can't think straight or make decisions.

I've been here before and have made it through, so I suppose I can do it again. I'm trying to use CBT techniques on myself throughout the day. Sometimes (often) it's hard to think rational, more positive thoughts than the negative ones that stream through my mind.

I just have to hang in there until the viibryd kicks in. Minutes seem like hours when I feel this way.

I will go for a walk when my husband wakes up, and I know that'll make me feel better.

Originally Posted by newgal2

I have not been on a therapeutic dose of anything since March. Really hoping I will be able to tolerate this lamictal because I can't take these ups and downs anymore.

Just came off a 3-4 week hypomanic/manic phase which of course wasn't helped by 25 mg lamictal, probably curbed by saphris. Since Monday, was plunged quickly into a bad depression. All of a sudden, my world is doom and gloom and I feel like I'm up against a monster.

I believe my pdoc is good and knows what he's doing. That's one positive thing! He said viibryd should take effect after being on 20 mg for 2 weeks. That's another 2-1/2 weeks! How will I make it? I feel like I'm moving in quicksand. Energy is so poor. Can't think straight or make decisions.

I've been here before and have made it through, so I suppose I can do it again. I'm trying to use CBT techniques on myself throughout the day. Sometimes (often) it's hard to think rational, more positive thoughts than the negative ones that stream through my mind.

I just have to hang in there until the viibryd kicks in. Minutes seem like hours when I feel this way.

I will go for a walk when my husband wakes up, and I know that'll make me feel better.

I'm wrong! The 20 mg viibryd is only a 1 week deal, so I only have about 1-1/2 weeks to deal with this bad depression before I'm told I'll start to feel some benefit from the med. BTW, my (new) pdoc says he's not a "feel good doctor" who says stuff to patients just to make them feel better. In other words, he really believes I will start to feel better shortly, anad that the lamictal WILL help me. This is just a waiting game, and I can do it!!! Feeling so much better now . . .

WOW wth how did it turn in just two days, thought it was going to last years. I feel like I need to bring a knife outside but I know I shouldn't do that because I'm just fooling myself when I say I need to protect myself. I love monoliths.

Silly me....I was up for just over 24 hours straight.
I should KNOW my brain can't handle that. I just woke from a bit over 8 hours of sleep but wow the battle with depressive spiral before convincing myself that I am gonna be OK.
Now having some coffee and PC'ing to get back on track. Gotta get moving though, need a shower and to get over to watch my daughter.

[A Red Panda]

So I am on holiday and officially at my friend's house.

And yesterday I spent the day ready to cry! I was a mix of feeling like I was utterly worthless and also very irritated!

My friend sorta kept me waiting around for like 4-5 hours. Keep in mind, I'm an early riser. I will wait around no problem until the other person is awake. So she was awake after a while, and we were talking about what to do yesterday. She doesn't say no or yes or that to anything.. instead she says she needs to have a shower (fair enough), but then WENT BACK TO BED! That was after I pointed out that I was in fact starved and needed to get lunch soon. About 4-5 hours after saying that I was reallllly hungry from having already been awake for ages... we finally went to get food.

Then we had a good time while we were out, went to a board game cafe where we played for hours. Stopped to grab supper on the way home, and get back to flat where I get ignored as she and her bf eat at their computers and there's no space for me to even be in the same area. So I ate my supper on my own.

I'm glad to get to spend time with her, and I'm trying to keep things chilled out.. but it's Thursday, and Tuesday and Wednesday we haven't really done a single thing at all aside from go to get food. And I can't ask for her keys right now because she is sleeping.

I'm feeling rather sad about it. I'm not in this city to sit around in an apartment I could do that at home. That IS what I do at home.

[anneo59]

yes, walks can be very good! Take care!

Lol went to the psychologist whom I told I was suicidal two days ago. Was so happy I just wanted to laugh!

[comicgeek007]

At least I got the go ahead from temp t to go back to college tomorrow. However, he also said I was too unstable to be off meds. Boy was that a blow to my ego.

[Charrlee]

I'm extremely irritable and angry today. The medicine makes the physical symptoms less, but I feel this dull roaring rage every time anyone comes near my space. I want to spend all day alone but of course that's impossible.

[Moreta]

Rough couple of days. Hate work. Just want to cry. Went to pdoc and he gave me Latuda. I've been reading things on it though and things say the initial dose should be 20 mg, he gave me 80 mg for a week, then all the way up to the max dose of 120 mg. We'll see how it goes. It's really embarrassing to cry at work. It doesn't help that I keep forgetting things. I just want to be normal.

[deelooted]

Seems like I have been flipping all over the last week, yesterday culminating in an early day off from work... I just could not fake the funk. Then a magical call from my pdoc and she adds Bupropion to my mix.

This morning, I took it and within an hour felt better. And it got better as the day went on. Tomorrow? Hope it is the same. My boss comes back next Monday, need a miracle to keep this job...fell like I am slowly fading away. People really piss me off sometimes....I piss myself off sometimes.

I dunno really. I just dont know what is going on in my head.
I keep having racing thoughts and random crap through my head all the time.
I just want it to be quiet in there for a while.

Back from a mini holiday. Felt ok while I was away apart from the public transport anxiety, but, managed to avoid it!

Now I'm back it feels good to be back on here again so all in all doing ok

Feel moderately depressed and tired this a.m. Worse than yesterday but not as bad as Monday.

Maybe I will take some provigil today, to help with energy. It gives me a headache, but sitting or lying around the house all day makes my depression worse.

Right now I will take my dog for a short walk, even though I really don't want to. The serotonin boost will do me good.

The only thing that keeps me going in KNOWING that there's an end in sight to this depression. If yesterday was not that bad, who's to say tomorrow won't be better than today?

[comicgeek007]

so excited about going to college again. Starting the drive in a few minutes.

just depressing today. my stressors have me all over the place. I wanna be positive and upbeat but there is little on the radar for that at the moment. maybe in a few hours?