the bipolar daily check in thread 2

wildflowerchild25 · Aug 12, 2013, 11:28 AM

I miss you comic geek! I'm glad you're having a good time. May your hypo/hyper continue to be positive.

A Red Panda · Aug 12, 2013, 12:20 PM

So. The friend I'm staying with said yesterday that we'd do lunch - I was thinking about going to the musuem today but she has an appointment at 1 and suggested lunch, because tomorrow she has to be at her university. She wasn't feeling well last night or this morning, but she was UP this morning and was still up for lunch.

So I hung out on the computer all morning. JUST as they're leaving, she asks her bf if he wanted to go to lunch - he says no that he wants Subway. So they're going to grab food from Subway.

So I spent my entire morning and the beginning of the afternoon waiting around for NOTHING - I could have easily gone to the musuem. It's too late to go to it now because it closes at 5 and I want to get a full day in it (it's big).

And I'm sat here crying now because so far ALL we've done together is play some board games and eat out a few times. She hasn't gone on any walks or anything at all, and most of the time when we're all in the apartment she's on her computer playing games with her bf - who has a computer next to hers. There's no space for me to be in that part of the apartment with them, so I stay on my laptop in the living room. Even when we've had food here - they eat at their computers so I have ate alone.

I'm just utterly gutted and don't even know what to do with my afternoon now because I'm too busy crying.

Margolomania · 03:16 PM

ComicGeek- Cosplay? RPG? Painting? Composing??

....are you my twin?

Aw, Red Panda, I'm sorry. It's one of the worst feelings being alone in a crowd, especially around friends. And it's just not nice to cancel out on plans without letting the other person know at least ahead of time! I hope your day turns out better for you. I love museums, and if I was around, I'd go to the museum with you! Hope this hug helps somewhat

Margolomania · 03:16 PM

Great posts for a Monday, they're definitely very encouraging!

The past days were blah, but today, I want to make it different. It feels different already. I'm meeting up with my Dad (and perhaps my nephew) for a late lunch. I haven't seen them in 2 or 3 weeks. Though we live in the same town, I have chosen to live on my own and... well... I like to be alone a lot and the mood swings doesn't help with how I interact with them either. I'm kind of excited though, not as anxious as I was about it the past days. Also, I saved my "treat day" for today, which means I get to eat either a good stack of pancakes or a very delicious and cheese-filled or sugary pastry, and I'm fairly excited about that too

Hope everyone's day stays great, and for those not having a good start, I hope yours get better for you soon

A Red Panda · Aug 12, 2013, 05:18 PM

Margolo: I've got no problems with going and doing things on my own... but I'm an early riser and if I'm paying for something I'd rather go and do it in the morning so that I can take my time and enjoy myself. It's just that it feels like I'm being abandoned here and unwelcome... I feel like I'm intruding and being a burden. I don't come and stay at friend's houses just for somewhere free to stay - I want to stay so that I can maximize the time I spend with them.

rapid cyclist · Aug 12, 2013, 05:30 PM

A mama bird had built her nest just outside our kitchen window at the beginning of the season. We enjoyed watching the hatching, development, and wing testing cycle of her birdettes. It appears the last of the fledglings finally got its wings and took off yesterday morning, leaving us with empty nest syndrome. I need to take the nest down, because she actually built it in a place such that we can't open or close our awning, but I'm sad to finalize their goodbye. There's a glaring metaphor in there, but I don't care to parse it just now.

wildflowerchild25 · Aug 12, 2013, 07:18 PM

i'm scared on my own out here in space someone come rescue me please.

zoltar · Aug 12, 2013, 07:34 PM

higher than a m-fer as usual.

A Red Panda · Aug 12, 2013, 08:24 PM

I'd get lost out in space... but you know what? Shine a line and talk to your shadow.

((True story: in grade 8 we had to write a paper about our role model. I didn't have one, so I wrote about my shadow because it's always there for me))

comicgeek007 · Aug 12, 2013, 08:31 PM

So I'm about to watch drunk Holy Grail with my friends. Classes haven't started yet so I won't feel the least bit guilty about it. We managed to stuff 6 people into.a ford focus. One of my friends suggested I, being the smallest, should ride in the trunk. My other friend then pointed out that five guys getting pulled over with a teen girl in their trunk would be a bad thing.

Ahh, the wonders of college...

wildflowerchild25 · Aug 12, 2013, 08:36 PM

^that made me LOL

Margolomania · Aug 12, 2013, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Margolo: I've got no problems with going and doing things on my own... but I'm an early riser and if I'm paying for something I'd rather go and do it in the morning so that I can take my time and enjoy myself. It's just that it feels like I'm being abandoned here and unwelcome... I feel like I'm intruding and being a burden. I don't come and stay at friend's houses just for somewhere free to stay - I want to stay so that I can maximize the time I spend with them.

Very understandable. I have a friend who was very good at doing that. He'd make plans with you, the whole day you have it in your head that you've got plans, then the last minute he'd say he can't go for whatever reason. Or sometimes, he won't even let you know that he's actually changed his mind and your whole day's just screwed

Well, I hope your friend catches wind of how you're feeling and that your future plans will actually be spent rather than wasted.

roads · Aug 12, 2013, 11:04 PM

comicgeek

Quote:

One of my friends suggested I, being the smallest, should ride in the trunk. My other friend then pointed out that five guys getting pulled over with a teen girl in their trunk would be a bad thing.

thanks for bringing back memories of college--what an amazing, unique time!
I'm grateful for your "other friend," who saved y'all from the insanity (& potential endangerment) of "one of" your friends.

Roadie

Aug 12, 2013, 11:41 PM

Random kind of day. Very sleepy and very down. No hypo till I wanted to sleep. PITA.

TippPatt · Aug 13, 2013, 06:45 AM

Spent the night in the chair - again. Right now I seem to be 'sleeping' in the living room with the lights on. All in all, that isn't good in the long run. I'm assuming it's because of the week's major ramifications and my reactions to same. At this point, I just wish for time to pass to the point that I feel comfortable enough to return to my bed at night.

Have a good day, folks.

Aug 13, 2013, 07:29 AM

Started off being an extremely down day, but I forced myself to get out of bed and take the dogs for a walk and then a bath.

Dentist at 8:30 and I WILL go to that too. Seems like it may be one of those days, or at least mornings, where I really need to use CBT on myself and make myself do things.

Today I start viibryd 20 mg and tomorrow lamictal 100 mg. I feel I'm inchingt closer to where I need to be.

I have really weathered this depression storm well so far, and I need to give myself credit for that. Sometimes getting angry at the depression and refusing it to allow it to win is the attitude that keeps me going.

wildflowerchild25 · Aug 13, 2013, 07:37 AM

i'm totally panicked right now and i'm out of all my PRNs. i feel like i'm going to be sick. i don't know what over except my thoughts being completely crazy right now.

worried about inpatient. if they don't put me in today then they're not going to at all, so at least i have that. if i can keep it together....but i can't keep acting normal...

comicgeek007 · Aug 13, 2013, 08:35 AM

Pretty sure I am in fact hypo and have been for weeks. I feel GOOD. It's great to feel this way and I hope I go to normal, not depressed, when it's over. So much creativity and thoughts racing, and I'm way more social than normal. I feel pretty invincible right now, actually.

deelooted · Aug 13, 2013, 08:56 AM

uh oh, i feel like crap again...as if i never was on any meds. i hate being ill, makes for a difficult life. really close to closing my account here, disappearing under a rock. not trying to have a pity party cuz it would not help anyways, just being truthful about how i feel

boy i wish i could call out sick

anneo59 · Aug 13, 2013, 09:57 AM

struggling a bit for last few days to maintain "sunshine" status, as is son, who also struggles with bp and adhd. Hub, adhd, usu mostly in own world, has been hurtful lately. But I know there are ways to work at relationships, to improve. Just stressed lately, trying to hold it together. and then remember how MI can put you in your own prison till you break out, where you see that other folks have to deal with things, too. Often changes perspective, often for better, for me, tho not always. Did have run reading ComicGeek's post bout getting in trunk, etc., and like Roadie, makes me fondly recall my own college days! Did get out to eat last nite with friends and enjoyed, too much of a rarity. Well, got a very busy week. Lots to take care of and lots going on. Can't afford to feel bad or neglect or get distracted. I wish everyone the best!

Aug 13, 2013, 10:43 AM

not sure how to handle today. I started a thread about being alone today. I know that a lot of you don't read my posts anymore, especially after yesterday, but I corrected that and I could really use some advice / company here!

Moreta · Aug 13, 2013, 11:12 AM

I feel ok today after feeling like complete crap yesterday. I ran out of tegretol, so yesterday wasn't fun. My boss is in a horrible mood, and I went out to get rolls of stamps, but they didn't have any, so she was like "why didn't you get the forever stamps?" so I told her, there were no rolls of stamps. I don't understand why people can't understand what I say.

deelooted · Aug 13, 2013, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

not sure how to handle today. I started a thread about being alone today. I know that a lot of you don't read my posts anymore, especially after yesterday, but I corrected that and I could really use some advice / company here!

me too...just called my pdoc, hope she can do something. Usually when I get low like this, I get terribly irritable...at least with the meds I am on I don't get irritated, so that's a positive!