[OctobersBlackRose]

Today is my 25th birthday!!! Went to the mall, bought a Dory fish to go with my Nemo fish. Had fun with my Mom and sister. Good day overall. Now laying down and listening to music.

[Unrigged64072835]

Happy birthday, OBR!!

We went to a nearby waterfall. It wasn't going, but I took some interesting shots and hope to work on the pics in the next few days.

We also put together the shelving unit we bought yesterday. We haven't put in the shelves yet pending dragging the remaining wedding stuff from the basement and figuring out how high to set the shelves.

[Gabyunbound]

I have a 2 hour and 15 minute commute to work, for which I literally have to get up at the crack of dawn. During the past few months I've been falling asleep at the wheel and it's been getting worse and worse. This coincides (though started a couple of months later) with an increase in my Seroquel dose due to a depressive episode. I've decided that -for my own safety- I need to taper the Seroquel.

I'm currently taking 100 mg and on Sunday will start taking 75 for a week and so on, until I get to 25mg, which I've taken before and been alright on. I don't see my pdoc for a few weeks, but I think this needs to be done asap, and I'd do it no matter what my pdoc says anyway.

So wish me luck. I'm scared, but more scared of getting into an accident. The Seroquel hangover is all too real. On weekends I sleep until at least 12pm and go to bed before midnight... I really do need that much sleep on this amount of Seroquel.

[bizi]

had a fun time at a halloween party
drank too much
oh well
bizi

[Pikku Myy]

Gabyunbound <3 be careful. I was so doped up on meds for a while... it takes a while to find some sort of balance. Falling asleep while driving is in my opinion a bit over medicated. Please tell your podc. Good luck

[Pikku Myy]

I went with my dad, sister and niece to ID and have a final viewing of my mommy today. I could not she'd a tear. I think I am starting to block and disassociate again. I love my mom. I just want the business end done complete. Obit, funeral, flowers, reception, and such organized. Returning medical equipment and supplies. I am like a robot. Everyone else is freaking out. Hugs

today I am going to start watching avatar: the last airbender from the very beginning

i've wanted to see this for years (and actually did start watching it online), but the website closed and I never was able to finish it

well now I am, so yeah. that's cool.

(((((((((Pikku Myy))))))))) I'm so sorry. That must be very hard. Even if you are feeling robotic, blocking and dissociating, it is much to deal with. Business things can be a pain at the best of times, all the more so at times like these (which of course you already know, but I commiserate.) Please be gentle with yourself through this, ok?

Do you have a T? If so, do you have good access to them? Please post here as much as you find helpful, ok?

You are in my thoughts.

[hopeless2015]

Pikku so sorry for your loss....hugs
It's been a good weekend. Feeling good mentally. Hoping get to get a few things done around the apartment today

[MobiusPsyche]

Went to lunch with an old friend and his new girlfriend who were passing through. No anxiety because I can just stay in my car, or browse on my cell phone, until they get there. I used to have so much anxiety going out in groups, like what should I do if you're not there and should I wait for you inside the movie theatre or outside, and what if the movie is starting and you're not there yet...all of that is gone with cell phones. Will be having lunch with another friend on Saturday. Then nothing social for weeks.

Am I the only one who is too proud to invite themselves to family's for Thanksgiving dinner? Like, how hard is it for you to text me or call me and say "MobiusPsyche, Thanksgiving is at so-and-so's house this year, are you coming?" I hate to have to call and ask where it is and am I invited...I feel like I'm crashing a party. It would be really nice if one of my family would just invite me, they invite each other all the time, but I live five hours away and I guess they think I won't come anyway. I don't know, I can be proud but alone on Thanksgiving or not and maybe be with my annoying family if anyone is hosting this year. decisions....

[Gabyunbound]

Originally Posted by Pikku Myy

Gabyunbound <3 be careful. I was so doped up on meds for a while... it takes a while to find some sort of balance. Falling asleep while driving is in my opinion a bit over medicated. Please tell your podc. Good luck

I think I am overmedicated combined with the lack of sleep I get on work days (I work part-time). I know Seroquel is the most sedating and has over-sedated me in the past. At night, when I take it, I literally pass out after a while if I try to stay up after it takes effect. I'm pretty sure my pdoc will agree with me. Maybe I should call her, but I just feel I'll do this anyway. Thanks for your concern. I'll be very careful. If I get to a certain point in the taper and I take a turn for the worse (mood-wise) I'll stop it there and wait to see my pdoc.

Slept 12 hours and woke up feeling like a horse had trampled me all night. The full weight of my pain has returned. No drugs coursing through my veins when I opened up my eyes but it started the moment my feet hit the floor. Like I stepped on a hypodermic needle filled with speed. I have no idea what is going on but the normal 7-8 hour sleep I was getting is a thing of the past. 12 hours means I couldn't possibly still be considered manic. But I'm still feeling like everyone is misunderstanding me. I still think I'm being clear and analytical. Not responding emotionally but with a deeper and better version of me in control of the flow of ideas. My husband seems very sensitive to everything I'm saying these past few days. He's taking everything I say wrong so I fear I'm being unclear since it's happening on PC too. I'm standing up for myself with him though....usually I concede to his view point but I'm rationally stating my case right now.

I talked with my BFF for 8 hours last night. We have opposite opinions on religion and politics and get into some heated debates.....last night we talked for hours about our opinions and formed "The People's Party" which was a collaboration of her values, mine and our shared value system. We delved deep into why we hold the positions we do and found we don't think very different at all. It was so refreshing....we both agreed the Peolles Party is better than the options we currently have. We shared so many DEEP belly laughs, fears, hopes, challenges and successes. It was a conversation and experience I really needed right now and helped ground and remind me that not all people are irrational all of the time....this goes for me and everybody else. It also reminded me that some people just "get me". We met at age 13 and are now in our 40's. Aside from my family, it's my longest standing relationship.

I'm talking a lot...quickly....thinking fast and clear and then not so clear. Nothing dangerous but I do recognize I might be behaving a little strange. I don't think it's bad but if I'm wrong, send me a PM if you feel comfortable. I don't want to seem like a jerk....I'm not a jerk usually. I don't think I'm being one now but based on some people's responses to me...I might be very wrong. (((Hugs)))

[OctobersBlackRose]

Lazy day, did laundry, took a shower, and now like usual laying down and listening to music.

[Unrigged64072835]

Put online a few pictures that I took yesterday. Most of the leaves were down but there were still a few. In the city the leaves are changing color and look very pretty, but I can't get a decent picture with the traffic and all that.

Put the remaining wedding stuff in the new shelving unit, along with the vase my husband bought Friday. I got to get his birthday stuff on Tuesday.

Also did a load of laundry, so I've been pretty productive today.

Brought my grandma out shopping for some clothes. Ended up getting her a nice pair of boots as well. She really enjoyed going outside and getting some exercise. I did as well. Helped boost my mood a bit.

I also bought some winter activewear while I was out shopping. I plan on using the clothes for snowboarding, winter biking, and winter jogging. I had also bought a coat insulator online so that I have a 2nd snowboarding jacket. (One of mine isn't waterproof, and the other is just a shell.)

Bring it on, Winter.

Iscariot! Evidence has recently emerged in my wife's speech patterns that strongly suggest that my adopted worldview detailed in my disclaimer below is beginning to rub off on her.

When I confessed this tragic fact to one of our closest friends and strategic business partners, he announced the urgent need for an immediate intervention in the form of an 'Underground Railroad' via which my wife and her mother could begin a new and rewarding life in Japan, safely insulated from my pessimism, desensitization, sarcasm and fatalism, leaving me to fend for myself in Honolulu with our blind dog.

He knew in what neighborhood of what city they would live, exactly what business they could start in order to sustain themselves, and specific people whom they could employ, do business and partner with. His plan was complex, obviously premeditated, comprised of many moving parts, and, as far as I could tell, flawless. He went as far as to ask if my wife had a current passport.

My only survival strategy upon the abrupt disappearance of my family and the subsequent dissolution of our family business would be to pimp our house on Airbnb or rent individual bedrooms into the student housing crisis of UH Manoa, which is within walking distance. My "friend" even suggested an ingenious way of maximizing my occupancy by taking up residence inside a vestigial hallway between bedrooms that has access to a bathroom. His plot's Achilles' heel is that neither my wife nor my mother have any desire to live in Japan.

Be certain that I'll be exacting revenge for the mere suggestion of a betrayal of such magnitude, a dish that I will serve cold. I told him to expect me.

Holy crap. I thought you were kidding at first.
I'm glad they have no desire to go!

Once again I started laughing by the first word! I don't even know what it means and think the exclamation point has a lot to do with my laughter for some reason. I'm glad you have a good sense of humor about it and hope your posts help you as much as your posts help me. It's always nice to have a laugh in the face of all this madness (((Lefty)))

I've got a bad cold. Was up all night coughing. I haven't had one in years so I forgot how miserable they are. Ugh.

[bizi]

rats....
my pumpkin was mushy at the top so I decided not to carve it, went to 4 stores to see if they had any left....none.
rats
bizi

[Altarian]

quick check in since wife and kids made it home

Originally Posted by bizi

rats....
my pumpkin was mushy at the top so I decided not to carve it, went to 4 stores to see if they had any left....none.
rats
bizi

I hate when that happens. It's happened to me twice in the past where there was something wrong with my pumpkin, and then it was too late to get another one at the store. But then we went to an apple orchard / pumpkin patch and were able to get one at the last minute.

Maybe go to an apple orchard and/or a pumpkin patch place?

I've spent an inordinate amount of time in bed the last 5 days or so. Managed to force myself to an appointment, take a shower, even wash a pile of dishes, but damn, I just cannot seem to pull it together.

The depression started considerably before these 5 days (with bits of stable even), but I was slogging through before it came to this level of immobilization.

Will have to try the other med adjustment option. Symptoms that had been under control are coming back. The kind that could cause real problems.

I thought yesterday was Saturday. Obviously, I was wrong. I am doing just grand.

yesterday I started watching avatar the last airbender (finally, after all these years!)

it will only take me a couple of weeks to finish it, probably. it's 3 series, but when I watch it, I usually watch quite a few episodes.

not really much else

no sleep again yesterday (in fact at 12 30 this morning I was binging on onster munch)

even more candy arived today

wish I had something exciting to say but I have **** all