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#276
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Had a sore throat, turned into a wicked cough I can't seem to shake. So far hasn't affected my moods
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, pirilin, RainyDay107
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#277
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I feel good. Like I knew that I would.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
![]() AmandaBroken, RainyDay107
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![]() RainyDay107
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#278
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Well my entire paycheck is gone, but I got a lot done this weekend, so it's all good. Expecting a refund check in the mail, so hopefully that comes sooner rather than later so I can survive for the next two weeks.
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107
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#279
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I want to go to walmart and steal a bunch of ****...
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-Puella, Non-Grata Diagnoses: Bipolar 2 and BPD Medications: Lamictal 200mg x2/day, Seroquel 50mg (before bed), Propanolol 10mg as needed Previous Medications: Zoloft, Depakote, Risperidone |
![]() AmandaBroken, RainyDay107
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#280
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Like what? Face wash? Jeans? Baby formula?
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() AmandaBroken
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#281
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The Army is building a Jungle Warfare School 30 miles inland from Waikiki beach. We are 1.8 miles inland. There are no snakes on Oahu, and everybody knows that you can't have a proper Jungle Warfare School without snakes. North Korea announced it has conducted a ground test of a new type of high-thrust rocket engine, putting them a step closer to being able to launch an ICBM. |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#282
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Good question: Do you know of an AP which is also good for anxiety? High doses of Seroquel used to help me with anxiety (I didn't take it for that, it was a bonus) but I guess being a zombie precludes anxiety -can't take Seroquel anymore except 25mg to sleep.
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#283
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i am doing ****ing fantastic. well not really, but maybe i can convince myself otherwise. i have not moved from this spot on the sofa in 5 hours, but that's okay...
i am planning on calling out of work tomorrow. i still havent gotten to the pharmacy. i haven't done much of anything. i feel like a ****ing waste of space. but the universe can go **** itself, i am not going anywhere. i am done with feeling sad so i have decided to try on pissed off for a while instead. i don't really have it in me today though- no punched holes in the wall or screaming like a crazy person. ah well. if i go to the drive thru at the pharmacy, maybe i can wear the pjs i have on now?! my luck i would get in an accident or pulled over or something while wearing dirty pajamas.... lol ah well. happy sunday everyone. homeland is on tonite- thats something to live for. |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107, Wander, xRavenx
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#284
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I dunno. My Pdoc has been adjusting my Rexulti and zyprexa lately.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() AmandaBroken, RainyDay107
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#285
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I haven`t got anything done all weekend.I just wanted to lay around all day and in return I feel worthless and useless for not getting anything done.
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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#286
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I'm in my robe. Trying to work up the energy to get a shower. Seems hard today.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, Nammu, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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#287
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Quote:
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() AmandaBroken
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![]() Naynay99
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#288
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Missed church and took a long nap due to sinus issues.
Made lasagna for dinner. That's a lot of work even with two people. Drove for a bit after dinner. At least I still remember how to drive. Will be driving to and from the hospital tomorrow for my husband's surgery. I hope it all goes well. A little anxious but otherwise okay. |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, Moose72, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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#289
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I'm still in my robe but I'm clean in my PJs! Yay! Clothes washing too.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() AmandaBroken, Nammu, RainyDay107
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![]() MobiusPsyche
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#290
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Took a shower and shaved instead of hurting myself. If I have to stick around mine as well look nice while doing it.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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![]() gina_re
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#291
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I'm in a strange place right now. feel like i came to the two path's in the woods but chose to walk through the woods between instead of either path.
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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#292
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Well i made it to the pharmacy and pickd up my WB. Success leaving the house!
Got Arby's for dinner- kind of gross but I felt like I needed some junk food. And I just watched homeland. It's Getting really good! I think wanting to see how the season ends will keep me going. I need to take a shower- maybe a bath instead so I don't have to stand up. I emailed my pdoc secretary to try to make an appt for this week. I will share that the depression has gotten worse, and see if he will raise the lamictal (that I already did). idk about sharing sui ideation with him tho- he tends to overreact to that sort of thing. Will see how my appt goes. I have said before that I don't really like him very much. But he's all I've got rite now. Wishing everybody a good upcoming week. Gonna take off tomorrow. I don't like to do that but it isn't a real teaching day anyway. I texted my coworker to let her know I will be out tomrow- she said she would miss me and my "voice of reason". Hahaha. Funny how other people see us... |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, RainyDay107
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#293
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Finally slept well last night. Went for a long brisk walk this morning trying to burn of fat and agitation. Still feeling irritable but mood is good. I have been very productive. Things seem great but I have this weird sense of foreboding at times and feel a little 'off'. Think I am out of the mixed state so hopefully stability is around the corner. Kind of all over the place though, with my racing thoughts and constant momentum. Wondering if I am hypomanic. Oh well, I am fed up analysing my behaviour, mind and mood. It is what it is. Seeing pdoc tomorrow (Tuesday here) and T Wednesday. They should be able to tell me what is going on. I am just going to rush head-on into life and see what happens.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, Lifeischallenging, RainyDay107, xRavenx
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#294
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Took PRN this morning (AP) for sedation. To sleep. I just woke up. Nightmare I was in IP. Mind is swirling. Boyfriend says I'm very unstable. I agree. T appt tomorrow afternoon.
Too many thoughts going at once. Klonopin didn't help. Journaled and it was a massive pouring of thoughts. Not sure it helped. Don't know if I can cognitively (cogently) express myself in session tomorrow, but I won't cancel. I may have a "nightmare hangover." |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Naynay99, Wander, xRavenx
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#295
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Hey all. Time for a check in. I'm doing all right. The lithium is keeping me stable for now. I think it was just me not wanting the lithium to work. But, we'll see. Other than that I am torn with a decision. I'm hoping some of my friends on here we'll be able to help me with this. Should I stay with my current employer where I have some benefits, but I am at part time and have some benefits? Not the best hours, but have some benefits. Where as I have the chance to go full time with another employer at this other employer and the bad thing is I have to get a car and I haven't decided what I want to do. Any advice someone pm me please?
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#296
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it seems i'm digging up all the important threads from other pages (from 2 or 3,) the questions: thread was even on page 4!. ugg it is all so annoying!
anyway, I am feeling less depressed (but still pretty depressed) yesterday I did get a bit of exercise, I thought it would be fun to dance around the room to disco inferno and YMCA, but I regretted it afterwards... I am really not fit!. still struggling with the whole sleep thing, I think i'm just going to have to admit defeat on that one, though since I never get tired signals it's really not an issue for me (I can survive on no sleep) managed to shower today (and use the last of the shower stuff), so it's on my list for when I orderr my shopping wednesday of course, feel extremely gross for having the shower, but these things have to be done yep.. things are looking better, but certainly not anything to write home about. once i've won a million dollars, then I can celebrate. lol |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, gina_re
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![]() AmandaBroken, gina_re
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#297
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Just woke up. Checked my work email and am relieved that I am not hthere. Tho I do feel a little bit guilty about calling out sick. But it's not as if I am faking- its just at that is is mental sick and not physical sick...
Anyway I am waiting for an email or call back from my pdoc. I know I need To find a new one but my previous attempts didn't go very well. Mental health care sucks- none of the psychiatrists around here participate in insurance plans. Totall bs. Anywhow, sorry if I sound miserable. I think I have been holding it in and it has come out on here. The depression hAs really been kicking my ***. I'm trying. Or maybe I'm not. Idk anymore. I'm still here anyway. Hoping to feel better like now. Well have a good Monday all. |
![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, gina_re
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#298
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I have my pdoc appointment in one hour. It has been on my mind to ask her how she feels about going down a little bit on the Seroquel (for the time being). Anything from 600 mg and higher gives me too much twitching, feeling like I'll pass out before work, getting so hungry, and appearing so sleepy. I am tired of being tired.
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![]() AmandaBroken, Moose72, Nammu
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![]() AmandaBroken
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#299
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I'm hungry but I already ate lunch. With daughter at dr- she has warts on her foot. Might blog again later. I like my blog. :-)
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() AmandaBroken, xRavenx
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![]() AmandaBroken, xRavenx
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#300
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Pretty sure I'm being constantly abused in life. Trying to find a way to stand up for myself in ways that will have a positive effect. Unsure of which fork in the road to take and pretty sure whatever I decide will lead to pain at first.....but one might result in less pain overall in the end. Confused, in pain, stressed, and slipping. Holding onto a thread of hope. Grateful for various things and feeling robbed in others. Wearing as much mental armor as I can muster for this battle.
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![]() AmandaBroken, Anonymous45023, gina_re, Nammu, Wander, xRavenx
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![]() AmandaBroken
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Closed Thread |
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