[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Vertigo is that hard on your memory?

Yeah, it creates gaps for me, but I will say: having had bilateral and unilateral ECT, both types, the memory does much better with unilateral treatments.

There was one time, though, that I apparently didn't recognise my wife. That was when I was getting bilateral treatments, as you might guess.

[Moose72]

Wow. I'm glad that went away!

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Wow. I'm glad that went away!

Yeah, they say most everything comes back in the lost memory category, although it's hard to see holes in your own memory to know whether everything is back or not.

The thing that doesn't seem to be correcting itself is finding my way around. I get lost in towns that I've known for decades. ...but it's not ruining my life, so I just roll with it.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by vertigo

Yeah, they say most everything comes back in the lost memory category, although it's hard to see holes in your own memory to know whether everything is back or not.

The thing that doesn't seem to be correcting itself is finding my way around. I get lost in towns that I've known for decades. ...but it's not ruining my life, so I just roll with it.

And that's for depression that meds won't help?

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Moose72

And that's for depression that meds won't help?

And the occasional hypomania. I've got BPII.

[xRavenx]

I was thinking how my pdoc told me to take time off of work. She even said, "When you see me again in two weeks, I want to hear that you will have it arranged to take some time off." I tend to ignore stuff and just overwork myself until I can't possibly take it anymore, but I have to go with my gut and see what I can arrange. If my pdoc is concerned enough about it, then maybe I need to take action.

I think I'll take 4 mental health days off to get back on track again, although I am a little scared to notify my boss. I'll have to wait maybe two weeks before I can actually take the time off, but I can hang in there until then. I am hoping this will make a difference.

I can't afford to just allow myself to work at the rate I am going, just to burnout. Been there, done that, got paranoid at work and scared everyone at a previous job....I want to erase those memories. I'll do things different this time around.

[Lifeischallenging]

Well thank you all for the pms. Your messages really helped. I'm honestly thinking of trying for this other employer. I can't handle the part time and seeing others going somewhere in the store I am at now. But then I'm still thinking I could lose the health insurance from my other employer. I need the insurance for the medication. Someone please give me some more advice?

[bizi]

I am sorry but I have to say good bye to you fine folks. I have an internet addiction and need to cut back on my usage. You have been helpful to me and I appreciate you.
bizi

[scatterbrained04]

Dreading work today. Been awhile since I could say that. So stressful right now.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry but I have to say good bye to you fine folks. I have an internet addiction and need to cut back on my usage. You have been helpful to me and I appreciate you.
bizi

No!! We love you.

[bipolar angel]

Feeling out of sorts.woke up 4am..nor hypomanic more anxiety. Have a lot on my mind..work stress,personalities at work stress,financial stress,clutter stress,etc...so i jnow why im anxious but can get it together to resolve each issue,ugh..but i do feel like the stress had pushed me was hypomanic off/on last 2-3months but not now..

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry but I have to say good bye to you fine folks. I have an internet addiction and need to cut back on my usage. You have been helpful to me and I appreciate you.
bizi

Sorry you're leaving

Hopefully you'll pop back in from time to time. We will all miss you.

[hopeless2015]

Bizi, you will be missed.

Feeling ok today. Had a fairly good night last night, didn't cough as much anyway. Hope to make it through a full day of work. Wish I didn't get tired so easily right now, but just need to give my body time to recuperate from this pneumonia. Going to Dr tomorrow afternoon to make sure I don't need another round of meds.

[Daonnachd]

We'll miss you, Bizi.

I'm at work, so this should be short.
I had ECT two days ago and today I'm beginning to feel down. I'm so messed up.

[Nammu]

Bye bizi, hope to see you around here and there

[Naynay99]

Work was okay today I guess.
Managed to get my kids to learn something new and hard which was cool.
Have me pdoc appt soon and am freaking out that it's not gonna go well. I don't want to sabotage myself but I am already obsessing about all the worst case scenarios.
Bleh.

[Unrigged64072835]

Started anxious today and now slipped into depression. This is not what I need.

My lower back still hurts. My husband is doing things he shouldn't, and it's ticking me off. I keep telling him to sit or lie down and let himself rest. He's hopped up on Percocet so he's not feeling much. I'm having to drive around which is terrifying for me.

Wrote two poems but they were pretty moody and sad.

Need to make dinner soon. And then try a heating pad for my back.

[Moose72]

I went to the dentist today. My youngest went too. I was getting two cavities filled- a front top and a canine. The numbing shot hurt so much I was shaking! But after that I felt nothing- or at least no pain. It's 3 hours later and my face is still numb. Hard to eat and drink but I'm managing.

Having problems, breathing, getting through, trying to make difficult choices and having a hard time making any decision at all, let alone being able to decide on major, life altering things. Getting advise from people I trust, who I know care about me and the others involved. Standing up for myself and resisting the fallback into doormat status.

[Nammu]

Took mum to urgent care she has bronchitis therefore I probably do too, but I'm younger and just need to take it easy.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry but I have to say good bye to you fine folks. I have an internet addiction and need to cut back on my usage. You have been helpful to me and I appreciate you.
bizi

I appreciate how helpful and supportive you have been, bizi. (((hugs)))

[RainyDay107]

Sounds like a lot of us are struggling.

Still having a mixed episode. Had some suicidal ideations yesterday and I haven't had those in a long time. I do not plan on acting on it -- it is the mixed episode talking. I'm not listening.

It's really that I'm just sick of feeling so bad - I know it will get better...I hope soon. I can't sleep tonight. I went to bed early, exhausted, and I was just wanting the day to be over. That backfired. I was wide awake in bed for three hours and got up.

I felt manic two nights ago and have been in the dumps since...I hate mixed episodes. I wish we could all feel good.

[Naynay99]

i should be asleep. after sleeping like 18 hours a night this weekend, i have been averaging only just 6 hours a night during the work week. i know this isnt sustainable, or healthy. sleep and i have a complicated relationship.

i hope my gp will agree to let me try adding the stimulant my pdoc suggested- the prospect that maybe something will actually help with this crushing depression is giving me a little bit of hope.

i am trying to not succumb to the negative thoughts depression keeps telling me.
Negative self talk, sui ideation, oversleeping, and mentally shutting down are all pretty ****** coping mechanisms. i can do better. My brain isn't gonna be Depression's biatch anymore...

have a good night everyone. keep fighting the good fight.

Checking in while they still let me. Today my 84-year-old neighbor called me across the street from the home office to hide a bottle of vitamins from his wife. They have six dogs, one of which bit me. Business has been slow. 2017 started hard, but it's been 37 days since our last contract. We're going to send the boss to Manhattan in the fall to spend time with her sister, who's been trapped in the care of her toddler grandchildren, an unlikely predicament for the former owner of the best Japanese restaurant in Anchorage. The boss works hard so she gets her perks whether business is good or bad: a trip a year, 18 holes of golf a week and all the cigarettes she can smoke. Our 15-year-old blind miniature dachshund is dying, 15 months after his brother broke our hearts with his departure. 2500 mg valproic acid makes it easier to let it happen.

[Naynay99]

At work. Was Rough getting up this am. Went to bed late- was tired but not sleepy and mind was ruminating in circles. So I didn't get to sleep until almost 2:30. I did wake up mostly on time this am at 7 and made it to work in time, but only 5 hours of sleep is going to catch up with me. And I refuse to spend the weekend sleeping and recovering from the work week and not leaving the house. I need better sleep hygiene.

Oh and my kitten decided he wanted to play fetch at 6:15 am. I'm trying to get in a little more sleep and he is flinging a cat toy in the air and dropping it by me so I will throw it!! It's a good thing he is cute.

Anyway, I'm gonna call my doctor later today to find out if taking a stimulant is okay. I hope so- I need to change something up.

Take care all.