[Shamrockkid88]

Went to bed late around 1145 which is not my normal time I set for myself woke up around 630 couldnt go back to bed anyways I ended up getting about 12 hours of sleep. Took my meds and enjoying some coffee now. Got to spend a lot of time with my niece yesterday she'll be two in June! She definitely picks me up whenever I'm down! I have to work later hopefully I continue to have a good day and everyone else too!

[Naynay99]

Woke up feeling better than yesterday. Gonna actually try to do something today. At least leave the house, feel the sunshine and fresh air. I was freezing last nite so I jacked up the heat and now it is a bit clauatrophobic in here.
Im lying on my belly in bed typing on my phone and my cat is asleep stretched out on my back. I Feel bad to get up but as soon as I say the words food and hungry he will fly awake. Actually as soon as I make noise and they realize I am awake they both start purring loudly. It's like "she's awake!!" Pets are great. I have never encountered a human who reacted that excitedly about me waking up. Makes mornings almost tolerable.
have a great Sunday everybody. I am going to try to.

[xRavenx]

For a week now, I've been wanting to do some exercise, but right now I feel that I'm in a Klonopin fog (and whatever meds are contributing to this lethargic feeling), along with how depression is making me unmotivated. I'm going to force myself to get up, drink some coffee, and see if that makes any difference.

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to church this morning. Usual amount of people greeting each other, but I hardly know anybody still.

Tried to nap again because I felt tired. No go on that. Managed to eke out a poem for the day. It seems to be getting later and later. Feel bummed and anxious at the same time. Was going to take a walk but kerfluffled that too. Will be making dinner shortly.

[Nammu]

Seeing the doc tomorrow, he's doing the psych meds as there's no Pdoc available in the area. There's one pdoc for 5 counties! Anyway I have got to gear up my loins and confront him about the ambien. Before I moved here I was taking up to 20 mg nightly. Here they dropped that in half and it takes weeks for them to call in the refil. As a result my sleep has suffered greatly. I no longer have a schedule as I can no longer fall asleep at the same time and some nights not at all. If there's a silver lining it's that I'm catching up on tv shows like The Librarians. But I'm exhausted all the time and that's not conducive to losing weight. So I gotta bring this issue up and I'm dreading it.

[Naynay99]

I took a bath and left the house today.
Went out to dinner with a friend.
Otherwise the weekend was a wash.
Will try to do better tomorrow.

[Lifeischallenging]

So, overall my day was normal. I got a shock though where I found out my draw at work was over. I'm hoping it just evens itself out. I've also figured out what I am going to do this week since I have a lot going on. I hope that they don't up my dosage though. Hope for the best for me. I will find out Thursday. Until then.

[Wander]

Thanks for all the hugs on my last post everyone! It really means a lot to me.

Today I am overwhelmed. Agitation is really bad and I am having bouts of rage. I was already in a episode of sorts, maybe mildly mixed, before my ex-husband broke my heart, again. This morning I went for a swim. It helped a bit. Now I have to study then go to university for a 3 hour class. Somehow I will get through it but I am worried I am slipping. I can deal with the heartbreak but the agitation, racing thoughts, paranoia and rage are difficult. Abilify helps thankfully. Yesterday I screwed up my Clonazepam taper and had 3mg instead of the 0.75mg I was on. I needed to do so to get through work and I couldn't call in sick as I did last week.

On Wed I see my T and Thursday I see my new pdoc. Hopefully they will be able to help me stay on my feet. I want to run and hide but I can't even lay on the couch for longer than a few minutes due to restlessness. It is like being eaten alive. Sigh...

wishing I didn't have to live another week how I am,

but I do, so blah..

can you believe all I did yesterday was eat and watch reruns of tv shows i've seen like 100 times all ready?

urg

[Daonnachd]

Nothing exciting, but I'm on my way to ECT.

[bioChE]

Med change last Friday, so I'm struggling through that now. For me, Day 3 is always the worst.

[hopeless2015]

Doing ok today. Worked out this morning. Still struggling a little to stay focused at work but not as bad as it used to be.

[2kawaii2sugoi]

I'm feeling really fatigued today.. don't know if it's because of the Prozac, which I just started 2-3 months ago.. been feeling super tired lately. Work is slow so far which I'm grateful for, don't really feel like dealing with back to back calls right now (I work in a call center). Today's my "Friday" so I'm just trying to get through today.

[gina_re]

So HR had the meeting with my supervisors regarding my request for reasonable accommodation. My goals for each week have been lowered. They are attainable given my recent episode and my current cognitive abilities so I am relieved of the pressure of having to do so much more. I'm not sure if this is for a probationary period, but I'll take it!

[Nammu]

That's great news Gina

Saw my doc and he listened and put my dose back up to 20mg of ambien! Yeah, sleep will be mine again! Better sleep should also help with energy and excercising. Also increased the metformin as I was on the lowest possible dose and it didn't do anything, everything else as usual. So I'm doing my part to support the drug lords.

[Naynay99]

I Had an okay though long day at work. On way home, going to get some cat food and then maybe make dinner. I need to do laundry but I dunno if that is gonna happen today. I should at least pick up the dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and sort my lights and darks. Make it appear that I have intentions to do laundry even if I don't actually follow through.

My Mood is fair. I think I feel pretty okay. Though I'm starting to question if I would even recognize the feeling of normal at this point even if it bit me on the arse. Ah well. I feel rather bland. I need some excitement and color in my life. I can't help but feel that I am only half assedly living at the moment. I am doing the bare minimum needed for survival. I have no project or upcoming trip to occupy my mind and get me excited about something. My first pdoc tried to convince me that for most people day to day life is rather dull...maybe he was right afterall?!

Originally Posted by Naynay99

My Mood is fair. I think I feel pretty okay. Though I'm starting to question if I would even recognize the feeling of normal at this point even if it bit me on the arse. Ah well. I feel rather bland. I need some excitement and color in my life. I can't help but feel that I am only half assedly living at the moment. I am doing the bare minimum needed for survival. I have no project or upcoming trip to occupy my mind and get me excited about something. My first pdoc tried to convince me that for most people day to day life is rather dull...maybe he was right afterall?!

I don't know what "normal" is either. If you can find out, let me know

My day-to-day life is pretty dull too. I wish there was more excitement, but alas...

The highlights of my day are going to sleep and eating breakfast/lunch.

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to T and physical therapy. I was unfocused and talked about several different things in T. I'm starting to get some creativity back, but I'm also getting sad again and I still have anxiety.

Physical therapy was a bust. He can't do anything else for my back. I was hoping more traction would help but not much has changed. It still hurts if a I bend quite a bit. He wanted an X-ray and MRI to see if there's something else going on. I got the X-ray done, but have the MRI next week. I asked my regular doc if she can give me Ativan so I won't get claustrophobic in the tube.

Started working on my Web design program again. I'm talking to one of my FB friends tomorrow and see if she can help build a new site for my poetry. I don't think she'll be able to help with self-publishing; I'll have to do the research on that I guess.

Mood has been kind of down, but I keep plugging along.

[gina_re]

Things have been going well, I've been positive and somewhat happy the past couple of days. I guess that's because I've been around my sister and nephews lately. They make life so much better for me. Well I came home and caught a case of the blahs. Everything is starting to turn gray...

[xRavenx]

I saw my pdoc today. One of my meds were upped to help me manage the agitation and anxiety. All my other meds the pdoc said, "You're on everything that should be preventing mania," so I'm basically going to have to work on coping with the residual manic symptoms that sometimes leak through the meds, unless another full-blown manic episode occurs.
Same with the depressive symptoms--and I'm definitely more on the depressive side lately. I'm supposed to go back in two weeks after seeing how I do with the higher dose of Gabapentin for anxiety.

I also saw my T today. My T is helping me identify that some of the losses I've suffered over the past couple of years can still be causing a feeling of emptiness. She encouraged me to finally process the death of my friend, which was last year. It was hard to do, but at least now she understands in detail the course of events, how it affected me then, and how it's still affecting me. Once again, I asked her for some coping skills, and she says more is to be revealed now that I've talked out some issues. I hope this makes a difference and wonder how next session will go.

I have a cold, and the new parity between the discomfort in my mind and body is strangely reassuring. In international news, the Chinese military has been operating in Afghanistan.

[Naynay99]

So I actually did something useful. Picked up all my dirty laundry and sorted it. Picked up around the house. Did the dishes finally!
Ok so perhaps not awe inspiring feats of strength but after walking over crap and not picking it up for a week+ and not cooking bc all my pots and silverware were in the sink I think this is a good start.... too bad i didn't get a second wind at 7 pm. No, I get a burst of inspiration at 1 am. Ah well. Such is life. Hoping tomorrow is a better day than todays mediocre one.
Have a great night folks. Take care.

[hopeless2015]

Doing pretty good. Getting up at 5:30 am and going to the gym seems to be making me feel better. I'm getting to work every day and though I'm still struggling with concentration a little it's better than it used to be. I'm getting stuff done!

[Shamrockkid88]

Rainy overcast day here in Boston trying to put it out of my mind just got to work a little while ago see my psydoc tomorrow. Then that means I'm one day closer to the weekend! Slept horribly last night woke up in a sweat numerous times listened to my brother eating and it seemed sooo loud! Anyways got back to sleep and was up at 745 have a great day everyone!

[Naynay99]

Decent day so far. Didn't get to bed until almost 3 bc I finally got motivated to start cleaning up my disaster messy house at like 1 am. My brain doesn't like to be awake during normal business hours, which sucks since my job is 8-330. So I only got like 4 hours of sleep and got to work a few minutes late this am.

Work was pretty good today. Except I was feeling a little bit ansy- not anxious, just "something". I was squeezing a stress ball all period to have something to do with my hands and get rid of some restless energy. . My kids were very interested in my toy. Lol. One of my kids even showed me his fidget cube. I think I need one!!

Ah well. Planning on going home in a while and putting away the dishes, throwing in a load of wash, and going to a irl support group. Assuming I don't just crash the minute I get home and end up taking a 5 hour nap after work... gonna try to normalize my sleep schedule by not napping. Will see if it happens.

Wishing everybody and great afternoon and evening. Take care.