[Cheybaby]

Hey everyone, kinda new here. Now that my manic episodes are controlled, im finding it hard to differentiate between being depressed or just simply not being manic. I feel less drive to do things, but when manic i was going and going and going all the time. Gah.

[gina_re]

Struggled to get through the workday. Contemplating selling my house.

[Moose72]

Pdoc called about meds. I filled them but I have to look at them more closely. Saw my case manager. Things going well! My good friend that I talk to every day got fired today after about 20 years. But he's taking it well. I am out with the kids. Going grocery shopping- much-needed.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got a lot of housecleaning done. Took a while.

Went to see my pastor this afternoon. He's putting me in touch with a couple of leaders in the church for volunteer opportunities. We also had a good chat.

Anxiety kicked up a bit at noon but I had to send in my jury duty excusal letter so I focused on that.

[scatterbrained04]

Put $535 into my car today. Fixed a couple issues and oil change. However, my brakes are still making the sound I went in with. They told me my brakes look good. Ugh. I hate dealing with car problems. Gives me terrible anxiety.

[RainyDay107]

I'm recovering from IP and being given way lousy meds in IP. I also got a bad chest infection from the hospital. I just finished antibiotics today. So....yuck.

The great news is my pdoc and I scrapped the IP treatment plan/meds. Together we developed our own plan, largely including meds that work well for me. My bipolar mood state is fragile and labile....but I'm ok. And I'm not alone.

My OCD and distractedness is......HUGE. I can't wait for my meds to start working. It's so bizarre to ruminate so extremely and then space out and forget it all. Rinse and repeat.

T reached out, she's a good T.

Slept last night.

I'm calling it a good day!

[Naynay99]

Hey. I'm doing so-so I guess. Got to sleep in today bc of the snow we had a delay which was nice, and we didnt get much snow which was a relief. Its supposed to show up tuesday though.

So this week I have been measuring my moods in terms of what music I chose to listen to on the way to and from work. I listen to my old CDs in the car and today was a RATM sort of day. I suppose maybe i was feeling pissed off, idk, but Rage just seemed appropriate.

Anyway, I am gonna try to actually move from this spot sometime this weekend. Not just attempt to recover from the work week by sleeping away saturday and not leaving the house all weekend. Thats the goal anyway.
TGIF folks.

[wildflowerchild25]

Well the kid seemed ok today so hopefully social services is gonna get some counseling for him and his mom. At least he doesn't hate me. I was ok today during the day because it was a team day and we did fun activities. So I didn't have to teach. But I got depressed after work. I don't know why.

I gotta find another way to comfort myself instead of food. I've been doing really well with losing weight but fell seriously off track bc of stress and depression.

I'm hanging out with my sister in law tomorrow so I won't be alone all day and night. That will help fight the depression.

Still hoping for that snow day next week! Right now they're saying pretty significant snow storm on Tuesday but some models are saying rain instead of snow. If not I will probably take a mental health day, although that might be more trouble than it's worth. We will see!

[xRavenx]

My hormones are out of whack at the moment, which is making everything so much worse on top of BP. I have not been sleeping these past few days. 2 nights ago I was wide awake and felt super speedy. Not good when you have work the next day. People at work tell me to slow down when I speak and pick up that I'm on edge.

My emotions have completely taken over. My mind keeps going to the past or future.....I'm not present, my thoughts race, and they are getting louder.

I feel everything is out of my control. It angers me. I am staying in bed, but I write short stories and have the urge to stay up. That's falling apart too though. I kind of feel anxious even when I think of sleep actually. I am so glad after tomorrow that I will be off for a few days, because the way I am going, I fear I will completely crash and need to leave work on FMLA. I'm hoping this will pass on its own though. I see my pdoc next Monday. So...this is where I'm at currently.

[Wild Coyote]

Still trying to recover from a paralyzing depression. Struggling every moment I am not asleep. On 3 anti-depressants and pdoc just re-prescribed Adderall. I have used it before with helpful effects. (BPII). I will, however, be careful.

To Our Healing!



WC

imsomnia, depression, imsomnia, depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, binging... that's all taken up the last few days for me

none of it's great, at all. far from it

[Moose72]

Been waking up every morning at 630 refreshed! Unusual for me but I have been going to bed a bit earlier if only to watch Netflix. Funny that I still have this anxiety chasing me. But for now I'm clean and dressed and so are the kids with laundry going. Now if I can just get up the mental gumption to clean! Mopping and the like. Hmmm....

[hopeless2015]

Good day so far, got up and had a nice coffee this morning, groceries are bought and put away...feel like I got a lot for $90..happy with that, that's for the whole week. Going for lunch in a bit

Found out yesterday insurance won't cover my (generic) Abilify. I was a bit surprised they did at all, though it seems weird to cover it for 2 months then decide not to. Fortunately, I have an appt. this week with the prescriber. We'd discussed a couple other options at the time of initial prescribing, so presumably we'll just try one of those.

Thursday was a mix-y day. The fun part was getting to meet up with someone from PC IRL!! (I'd say who, but forgot to ask if it was ok to say, so I'd rather err on the side of privacy protection.)

Other parts of the day were less fun for sure. Still struggling with a situational thing. Worn down on that. Also found out I'm on someone's ignore list. No idea why. Ironically found out in an attempt to make a "yea, good for you!" kind of post. I'm ok with people not liking me, but was kind of taken aback. It felt weird to be blocked from saying something nice.

But overall, ok. Getting things done even if enthusiasm isn't where it previously was (but we all know why, and it's not like that would last.) Hopefully, med switch goes well.

Hugs to all Hope your days go smoothly.

[xRavenx]

I've hardly slept over the past 3-4 days, maybe longer. I keep getting comments on how tired I look. This is not good since people at work keep saying this. In fact, I've heard the comments from them over the span of the last couple of weeks.

When I am going through something mentally or physically, I always want to pass off as looking healthy and doing fine. When my cover is blown, it makes me feel even worse. I even wonder if they will (or if they already are) starting to spread rumors that I am on drugs, because of how my eyes look so tired. Maybe that's half the truth though, because of the psych meds. The side effects can be contributing to all of this.

[Wild Coyote]

My mom has been homebound, outside of Dr. appts. I took her out to dinner last night. It was difficult to get her into and out of the restaurant and the house (mobility issues); yet, it was well worth it. ( DH had some old high school buddies in town, so he'd socialized with his buddies for the evening.)

My niece came by for lunch and stayed to visit for 4 hours. She's fun and such a joy to have around. Some "serious" discussion about her life. So proud of her; she does so well with her life.

DH working today.

A reasonably good day!
(Despite my deep depression, I've made it through. Thanks to Adderall. BP II)



WC

[bizi]

I am back.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am back.
bizi

YAY!



Have missed YOU!


WC

[VerMOZZica]

Having a really quiet day today.I haven`t left the house ; didn`t really want to leave the house.I`m still in my pajamas.I guess it`s just one of those days.I suppose it`s the depression it makes me not want to do anything.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A reasonably good day!
(Despite my deep depression, I've made it through. Thanks to Adderall. BP II)



WC

I am sorry for your deep depression which affects everything.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

I didn't finish cleaning the house today. Everybody's not feeling well. Still, I uploaded my latest batch of pics and wrote a poem for my church's quarterly magazine. Waiting to see if it will be accepted or not. I also downloaded a new Wordpress template for my poetry site; waiting to see if it will work out or not.

Made another good dinner. Have to check my blood sugar before bedtime; it was kind of high this morning.

Mood has been okay; I'm a little hyped with the poem submission. I think it turned out pretty well, though it had to be rather long.

Upset.

I have to cancel both my pdoc AND T appts due to weather. 9-15 inches of snow estimated... just great

Of course I have to cancel when I need them the most... and both of them are BOOKED. My T is definitely booked for 2 weeks, and my pdoc is definitely booked for this week. (Last week, I tried to change the pdoc appt from wed to friday because wednesday was a bad day for me anyways, and the receptionist said my pdoc was completely booked, so I said, "i'll keep my current one." but this was before I knew about snomeggedon coming.) Not feeling so good about this. Pretty sad and disappointed, actually. This really f#cking sucks.

[Naynay99]

Sigh. Another Saturday wasted.
I slept ALL DAY...woke up this morning around 10 am, then went back to sleep and woke up again around 1:30 pm, must have gone back to sleep because the next time I looked at the clock it was like 4:30 pm... Yeah, so i slept away the whole day. And I still feel tired. This is not healthy or normal.
Life score: Depression 2, Naynay 0. I suck.

We are supposed to get a crap load of snow this week and while the prospect of a snow day off work sounds appealing, just the thought of having to deal with all that snow by myself is filling me with dread. Ugh.

[Naynay99]

okay- i am going to force myself to leave the house. I need to pick up some cat food for my hungry boys. they have dry food but want the good stuff.
they are probably one of the only things that can get me to leave the house tonite.
i feel sort of like i am crashing and burning. i think oversleeping makes my mood worse. why do i never learn.
but i will be okay. i will be fine. or not. yeah one of those two possibilities.
wishing all of you out there a nice rest of the weekend.

[gina_re]

I go through these periods of not giving a **** and just wanting everything to be over and done with. Let me just quit and crawl into my little hole for the rest of my life. Then I have those good days, like today, where I'm proactive and don't feel so bad. My nephews are spending the weekend at my mom's and I had to drop off the car seat, so I popped in and got some quality time with my boys while she went to the bank. I put one to sleep for a much needed nap, and the other one read an entire book to me. Even though I barely had a clue what the book was really about (something about a dog man that was a policeman?), I felt lucky that he wanted to read the book to me. Eventually the little one woke up from his nap. I let him sit on me for a while as he rubbed his eyes, crawled all over me and eventually decided to crawl around on the floor. It's these little moments that I feel such a privilege to be a part of. Then two days later that warm fuzzy feeling is gone and I'm back to my miserable life that I want to leave badly. I'm just so.....I don't even know....