[gina_re]

My sister asked me last night if I could babysit today. And for whatever reason I went to bed way later than necessary. I think that because I don't have to wake up early, I just postpone going to bed at a decent time. So I stay up late watching tv. Anyway, it took so much energy to get up and dressed to get to my sisters place, even a red bull couldn't help me. But that little guy is so cute, how can I not be excited to spend a few hours with him. We had a good time, we went to the library then to IHOP for lunch. I dropped him back at the house shortly before his older brother was supposed to come home from school, so I went and picked him up so he didn't have to walk the entire way home. Any time with my boys will make me feel better. However, part of me thinks I am starting to feel better in general. I'm so used to feeling like crap that I don't want to accept this. The countdown to see my T has begun because I don't know how to process all of this right now.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

The disease damages identity: all your mistakes and misdeeds and mortifications have damaged what you are or were or could have been, and you must mourn your ruined plans and potentials and aspirations and affectations and play the hand you were dealt.

I meant pretensions, not affectations.

There's a DBSA meeting tonight; they call the day of each meeting to remind me. My wife dared me to show in a hospital-issue snap pajama top and drawstring shorts skeefed after past cardiac procedures and tell the group that I broke out of an inpatient facility to attend. I've been weighing the risks and rewards of such a stunt; someone might believe me and call the police.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

I did not see the post you are talking about, but I hope all is well. Totally understand about always surfing the SI waves. Speaking of waves, I hope you are enjoying Florida!

Thank you for your response and understanding. All is well and I'm enjoying Florida immensely. I totally put my foot in my mouth and needlessly distressed or shocked people because I wasn't thinking. I'll be more careful in future.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

I meant pretensions, not affectations.


There's a DBSA meeting tonight; they call the day of each meeting to remind me. My wife dared me to show in a hospital-issue snap pajama top and drawstring shorts skeefed after past cardiac procedures and tell the group that I broke out of an inpatient facility to attend. I've been weighing the risks and rewards of such a stunt; someone might believe me and call the police.

That would be the greatest DBSA stunt of all time. You'd be a legend.

[lola0987]

Went to BP meeting. Nice to be around people like me. Have to work my old job. So anxious. Just a few days I keep telling myself that. I need to learn to say no. Anybody else bad at saying no?

[xRavenx]

I went out with my mom for happy hour and had 2 Margaritas....I feel apprehensive when it comes to taking my PM dose of Lamictal, Gabapentin, and especially Seroquel. I have some low dose Seroquel pills left over from a while ago, so I might just take one of those. Usually I no longer drink beyond 1 drink, because of the meds, but I just had to indulge today.

Other than that, I am hanging in there. I'm better than I was, but afraid of whether I can get through this work week without problems. I have been very irritable at work, and I don't want to burnout. Unfortunately, I am picking up on signs that I am heading that way, but I am hoping that by recognizing it, I can do something to prevent that from happening.

[Naynay99]

Hey all. Just checking in to say hi and send some hugs to all of you fine folks. Hope everybody is idoing okay and kicking some serious bipolar as$.

Me, I am doing pretty good. Had a fun trip last weekend, and this past weekend I got to see my mom and sister which was good. My job is almost over for the summer which is exciting and also kind of scary. I need to set up some sort of summer schedule so I don't sleep my days away. Mood is mostly decent. I did stay in bed Saturday but felt more
Like physical tiredness than depression. So I think I'm doing ok. Haven't seen my T in a few weeks tho bc she injured her ankle and has been off.

While the absence of bad depression is great, I still sort oF feel like life should be grander than it is. Which sounds kind of stupid. But things are mostly okay. I don't want to sound like I'm not grateful for that. But I still want more. Idk.

Have a good week all. I haven't been posting that much lately but I still come on here often and read about what you are all up to. Take care.

[liveforsummer]

Crawling into bed with my e-reader, Monday can be over already. Some days are just like that. Ho hum. Good night all!

[bioChE]

I'm seriously irritated at my psychiatrist and his billing office. I give the guy my credit card for my copay every time I see him. They just sent me another bill. Something is seriously screwed up with them. Either he doesn't turn in my payment info, or their billing system is just nuts. I don't get it.

For whatever reason this really pissed me off this evening. My wife got irritated that I was irritated, and now I'm laying in ned and ruminating about everything. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, so I think I'm delaying going to sleep. I haven't taken my Trazodone because I hate being dependent on something to put me to sleep. Today just sucks.

Long day. Sooooo tired. Mood's doing alright though.

Tired has been quite the theme lately. Not sure what's up with that. I was in bed by 8 last night(!!) That's just nuts for me. I'll be down before 10 tonight, that's for sure. Pretty much staying up to take pm meds, lol.

I'm a night owl! What gives?!

[Lifeischallenging]

Hey all,
So my appointment is finally here and I am somewhat thrilled that I can rest a little knowing that I will not be going to my psychiatrist so often. Work last night was great. Kind of busy, but pretty decent for the most part. In other news, I got my passport finally. I even took the initiative to gather some info about colleges. I'm exploring colleges over here as well though. I still want to go to college over in the UK, but I have decided about exploring for colleges here. I do realize this is not a nice world we live in. That is making me decide on staying over here. There are parts of the world I would like to see. I'm sure alot you would want to see parts of this world. Well, you all have a good night for the parts of the world where it is night.

[jacky8807]

usually my episodes are unrelated to life. but if there is one thing that screws me hardcore it is major stress. I feel major stress right now but I have also recently started zoloft. I feel crazy crazy crazy tonight. I am hoping it will pass and it probably will. but I'm not sleeping. I feel on the verge of....something. idk idk idk

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

usually my episodes are unrelated to life. but if there is one thing that screws me hardcore it is major stress. I feel major stress right now but I have also recently started zoloft. I feel crazy crazy crazy tonight. I am hoping it will pass and it probably will. but I'm not sleeping. I feel on the verge of....something. idk idk idk

Ugh I hate that feeling of being on "the verge of something"! Hoping that it passes for you and that you can feel less stressed.

[Sunflower123]

Really enjoying the beach. Sat in the surf all day, enjoying everything and drinking pina coladas. Feeling good. Quality family time.

Reading a good book: 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy. It's a simple read (186 pages) but helpful to me.

I hope everyone is ok and has a good day.

[Moose72]

I am still having trouble getting N3 out of bed. Its gonna be a long summer.

Last night I had a dream that I was back in the 1950's and they were talking about aliens coming. I told them I was from the future and there were no aliens.

Next week its supposed to be 90 here!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I haven't taken my Trazodone because I hate being dependent on something to put me to sleep. Today just sucks.

I take Trazodone, too, but when I've had to I've fallen asleep without it. But now, who knows. We do get accustomed to these things, don't we?

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Reading a good book: 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy. It's a simple read (186 pages) but helpful to me.

Are psych drugs in there? Junk food? Surely books aren't in there.... Rubber ducks? I have two related books: how to be HAPPY, dammit & ENOUGH, dammit. Good books. I should re-read them.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

usually my episodes are unrelated to life. but if there is one thing that screws me hardcore it is major stress. I feel major stress right now but I have also recently started zoloft. I feel crazy crazy crazy tonight. I am hoping it will pass and it probably will. but I'm not sleeping. I feel on the verge of....something. idk idk idk

I hate that feeling. You sound ramped up a bit - maybe antsy? I hope you can find a way to de-stress. Do you have any Klonopin or the like? Maybe listen to some soothing music? And whatever you do, don't drink any coffee!

[Moose72]

ho hum.... still waiting for N3! He's long-since missed the bus. Will have to drive him.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

usually my episodes are unrelated to life. but if there is one thing that screws me hardcore it is major stress. I feel major stress right now but I have also recently started zoloft. I feel crazy crazy crazy tonight. I am hoping it will pass and it probably will. but I'm not sleeping. I feel on the verge of....something. idk idk idk

could this be from the zoloft? could be making you hypo manic?
bizi

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Are psych drugs in there? Junk food? Surely books aren't in there.... Rubber ducks? I have two related books: how to be HAPPY, dammit & ENOUGH, dammit. Good books. I should re-read them.

Tehehe....

Originally Posted by Moose72

ho hum.... still waiting for N3! He's long-since missed the bus. Will have to drive him.

I used to intentionally miss the bus cos I knew my parents wouldn't have time to drive me to school. Thus, they had to call me in as being "sick"!

It got to the point where I ran out of "sick" days and then I had to go with being tardy. Bummer. Then I would get to school for like 10am instead of 7:30. Not too bad.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I take Trazodone, too, but when I've had to I've fallen asleep without it. But now, who knows. We do get accustomed to these things, don't we?

Dang. I was awake enough last night that I took a double-dose of Trazodone. My doc lets me take anywhere between 25-100mg, and I usually take 50. I took 100, and that was a mistake. I was seriously hung over this morning.

[liveforsummer]

Just had to fire this off...I'm at work, completely overwhelmed, totally stressed and wanna cry!

[hopeless2015]

My best friend since childhood has been cheated on in the past and now doesn't trust any man, she also always has to have a man in her life, she is now living with her boyfriend and constantly checks their phone records to see who he is talking to or messaging with or checks his Facebook on their computer at home and she messages me everyday with a new problem with him. I'm there to listen to her anytime but I can't get her to try therapy. She obsessed with where he is and what he's doing every minute of every day. I just feel bad that I can't help her get past this obsession. I'm trying to be a good friend but sometimes it's too much for me. I guess I'm just venting. She is there for me to, she always checks on me when I'm depressed so it really is a two way friendship. I guess I'm just sad that she goes through this, I mean her anxiety get through the roofvevery day over this man. I want her to be happy but she has no plans to leave him either. I know this isn't bipolar related but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I feel like I carry this on my shoulders to but I guess that's what friends do. Thanks for listening.