[downandlonely]

I agree with everyone else. You need to take care of yourself or you can't help anyone else.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't even know what I would say to get into IOP. I don't want to get put IP. That would be horrible for our situation especially with the holidays. I wish at home family therapy was a thing.

[~Christina]

Tell your provider you don’t want IP
But your falling apart and in the past IOP Helped tremendously

Please help me .

[Victoria'smom]

Has anyone been require treatment to live in their own house? He's "fine" when my nephew is here. Then when he's gone my husband is not okay. He is quite frankly an ***. Today he screamed at my son like full out neighbors across the parking lot could probably hear when he was just a couple feet away. Then when I came out and told him that I told Miguel he could do that he screamed at me. Being an *** is unacceptable. I don't think I'd take as hard of a position if Miguel was actually doing okay, but he's not. It hurts that he can interact with others but not with us. I don't want to be the cause of an attempted. I'm lost.

[~Christina]

Can you call your Pdoc and get a earlier appt or just flat say as I mentioned the other day say " i need help , not IP but IOP has helped in the past ..

" my home life is bad at the moment as my husband isnt taking his meds and I need to get myself grounded so I can be there for him and my son.."

Be the squeaky wheel and dont stop til you find some useful help..

Always put your oxygen mask on first before so you can help others.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((Miguel'smom)))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hope and pray that you'll get out of this bad situation.

[Victoria'smom]

How do you know situational depression or BP depression?

[Guiness187055]

I find that situational depression is caused by outside factors. BP depression just is.
YMMV

[Blueberrybook]

I know for H (who I think has situational depression), once things with finances & his work resolve, the depression will go and not return until another sticky life situation arises. He has confidence he will not always be stuck with this depression. I am sure he will experience depression again, life is that way, loved ones pass away, bad things sometimes happen. I've really only known one other situation when H was this depressed. That was shortly after our daughter was born and he hadn't gotten the back surgery I'd urged him to have done when I was pregnant, he was in so much pain, he was crying and saying he wished he were dead. He got the back surgery and from recovery on, he was back to himself again. Depression completely gone. Whereas if it had been me with BP depression, surgery would have helped the pain, maybe briefly the depression, but it would have come right back if I was still riding out a depressive phase; if it was situational, then, my mood would have improved.

But I think it's possible for situational and BP depression to tangle and intermix. Really, the cause doesn't matter, you still feel like crap. And if it's BP but you have a situation going on, the stress from that definitely makes the BP worse.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm leaning towards this being situational Depression. I don't think more meds will help. At the same time we use to send Miguel away around thanksgiving (I know I sound horrible) because we both were to depressed.

[Victoria'smom]

He says he'll call the pdoc tomorrow. He thinks she'll put him in IP. We're seeing.

[~Christina]

Glad he’s making that call. There is nothing wrong with needing IP

[BipolaRNurse]

So, what happened? Bumping this thread up because there are a lot of us here who care and want to know how things are going for you and your family. I hope your hubby is getting the help he needs and that you and Miguel are doing OK.

[Victoria'smom]

We went to thanksgiving. I didn't think I'd get my husband to do. We did not get all dressed up though so we ruined the pictures. Then I went with my family black Friday shopping on Thursday. Friday we watched my very busy 3 year old nephew in our not so kid friendly house.

Me I'm a mess. I feel I've ruined Christmas already. I don't have the money for it. Usually I have Miguel write down 10 things and we give him what's left off the list. Everyone got there own thing this year and none of it's on sale. Plus I gave half of his budget to a joint gift that he can't open until my parents Christmas. Now we can only afford one thing on his list. So I got him a couple of $5 things. I want to get him a tee shirt crate (which I feel he needs). which means he gets nothing from his list . My mom says he's 16 he'll understand but still. I have 2 - 3 years left of him being home for Christmas. This doesn't count the 20 other family members I have to buy for. Then we have our nephew here and all that drama coming.

All this is making me want to SI and I've misplaced my lamictal so I'm down to 1 every 2 days when I'm suppose to be on 2 a day. If we can't find it today I'm going to start on my husband's old lamictal tablets. So that doesn't help. I still think it's situational.

My husband doesn't feel any better. He's determined to wait until our appointment. Basically lost his drive to call.

Miguel's wounds are healing. He says he's on the verge of suicidal thoughts and just depressed. Yes I snooped.

[~Christina]

Why not take the whole buying gifts for everyone off the table. Grown adults can live with out a gift.

Buy for kids only. Less stress, if family members are hurt so what “ they are adults, grow the F up.

I’m glad your spacing your Lamictal, very very smart ! Proud of you.

I hope your husband will just call on Monday !!!! Maybe in quiet words assure him it’s the healthy smart thing to do so he doesn’t keep sliding.

Glad you made it through Tday.

As for Miguel and suicidal thoughts I don’t know how you can’t bundle him up and take him IP for his safety and your sanity. If my Bipolar daughter felt that, even though she is grown I’d drive like hell to Florida and drag her somewhere.

Keep you and your family safe

[Wild Coyote]

I agree with ~Christina.

My family had stopped buying gifts long ago. We still give. Each family gives whatever they can spare to a charity. The family picks the charity. Nobody is under ANY obligation to give even a penny more than they can afford. Just a thought. You might want to say something and get off the hook for buying so many gifts?

I'd feel very frightened if my son were feeling unwell and suicidal. From what I have read, young men are at very high risk if/when feeling suicidal. They are not as likely to be passive about feeling suicidal.

I hope your husband will decide to take some steps to help himself, setting an example.

Please take care!

WC

[Victoria'smom]

I'd feel very frightened if my son were feeling unwell and suicidal. He said this like it was a good thing like he was/is doing better. It was a conversation with a friend trying to get his friend to ask for help. I am really concerned but my husband says I'm overreacting about him and our son and basically tells me to worry about myself. I'm going to tell the person that is (re) diagnosing him. That he has expressed suicidal thoughts. The big problem is he can't see the pdoc without a parent present and who wants to tell the truth around their parents? I have trouble with my husband there.

I don't know what to do about Christmas yet. All the sales are stressing me out because I'm trying my best to find cheap good gifts with no money on a card.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'd feel very frightened if my son were feeling unwell and suicidal. He said this like it was a good thing like he was/is doing better. It was a conversation with a friend trying to get his friend to ask for help. I am really concerned but my husband says I'm overreacting about him and our son and basically tells me to worry about myself. I'm going to tell the person that is (re) diagnosing him. That he has expressed suicidal thoughts. The big problem is he can't see the pdoc without a parent present and who wants to tell the truth around their parents? I have trouble with my husband there.

I don't know what to do about Christmas yet. All the sales are stressing me out because I'm trying my best to find cheap good gifts with no money on a card.

Yes, it could be very difficult to open up and to be honest in front of parents, for sure.

you have a lot going on, a lot for anyone to handle.

My heart goes out to you.

WC

[downandlonely]

I don't blame you for being frightened.

I'm wondering though why he has to have his parents present when he sees a pdoc. How old is he? I started seeing a pdoc at 14 and was able to talk to him by myself.

[Victoria'smom]

How old is he? He's 16. They say we have to go in until he's 18. We ask each time we go if we have to go in and they look at us like we're bad parents for even asking it. They say he can speak to a therapist alone but not them.

[Victoria'smom]

So it's official I ruined Christmas!!! We took car money to pay for loot crates as their 50% off. Well I ordered 3. Each was suppose to be $36. I didn't apply the code properly so I spent $71 each. Meaning all together if I can't get the money back I just thew $140 away. I don't expect them yo get back to us today as it is Sunday but the sale ends tonight. Ruining Christmas is my biggest fear. I ****ed up.

Possible trigger:

Yes I cried
Yes I cut
yes I got caught
Yes they're superficial
No I don't plan on stopping
I feel okay/normal for a few moments. Yes just less than 5 mins before I'm a mess again.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Why not take the whole buying gifts for everyone off the table. Grown adults can live with out a gift.

Buy for kids only. Less stress, if family members are hurt so what “ they are adults, grow the F up.

THIS. It makes me angry that anyone should feel pressure to buy, especially when it's not in the finances. If it is self-imposed, please let it go. If it is not, it is bullying. This aspect of the holidays really pisses me off, and we hear it so often! What is wrong with people that they are so hellbent on getting? What is so wrong about keeping it simple? There are many (and better) ways to express love to someone than a gift. Gifts are ok, but they shouldn't have to cost more than you can afford to "prove" anything.

Spending quality time together, doing things for others (like those "coupon" books you can make simply for something as simple as washing dishes on their turn etc.) Play board games together. Work on a project together. Do a puzzle. You can even get them from the library sometimes I think. There are options that need not be stressful. I hope you can do some to reduce your stress.

I'm really sorry about the coupon code. That sucks. Maybe you can cancel the order. Even if not, you didn't RUIN Christmas! It would be a very sad commentary on anyone who thought you did, because you didn't! Ruining Christmas would be fighting with people, being a drunken aggressive azz, things like that. Not the cash value of gifts or lack thereof.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are being way too hard on yourself.

[Victoria'smom]

I so feel like I did. It's both self imposed and not. My parents spend about $1000 a yr per family. So $20 gift isn't that much to ask for. Same with his family. The rest of the adults get $10-15 and the kids $10 or less. It all adds up my sister has 8 family members. My younger sister has 4.

His family is more understanding so it's $10-$15 per person. If I ****en saved money I wouldn't be in this mess. It's not like it sneaks up on you $50 a month would have given us more that enough. I'm just ****en ridiculous. Why can't I handle this like a normal human being?

Possible trigger:

I just want to cry and bleed and cry and bleed and cry. It's superficial so no need for stitches

I took more money out of my car fund because there are half off sales that end tonight.

[downandlonely]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. My family doesn't do presents at all anymore. My dad sometimes gives me money to buy something for myself. We spend time together as a family, which is all we need to do. There are no kids in my immediate family, so maybe that's part of it. I don't think adults "need" presents. If you can't afford it, they should understand. If I don't, then they're the jerks, not you.

If you "ruined Christmas" then I ruin it every year because I don't buy presents for anyone. Christmas should be about more than spending money. I don't know if you're religious or not, but regardless it doesn't make sense to make this holiday all about spending money.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I so feel like I did. It's both self imposed and not. My parents spend about $1000 a yr per family. So $20 gift isn't that much to ask for. Same with his family. The rest of the adults get $10-15 and the kids $10 or less. It all adds up my sister has 8 family members. My younger sister has 4.


His family is more understanding so it's $10-$15 per person. If I ****en saved money I wouldn't be in this mess. It's not like it sneaks up on you $50 a month would have given us more that enough. I'm just ****en ridiculous. Why can't I handle this like a normal human being?

Possible trigger:

I just want to cry and bleed and cry and bleed and cry. It's superficial so no need for stitches

I took more money out of my car fund because there are half off sales that end tonight.

I’m sorry but my bluntness meter is screaming here

You are mutilating YOURSELF over the stupidity of thinking you even have to buy a ton of gifts for everyone !!!

You just can’t afford it F^#^ people if they can’t understand gifts are not needed for them , buy for kids ? Sure but OMFG put a limit on amount of money you can afford to spend.

You constantly run out of money to even feed your family every month , yet you are focusing on a stupid holiday ????

L, please get your priorities right and stop making your life and body a bloody mess.

Don’t you need a car running , gas and insurance Plus food on your table more that material gifts likely forgotten and discarded in days or weeks by your family ???

If your parents can spend a thousand on gifts that’s great , obviously they can afford it ... you need basic supplies and food for your family first.

I just can’t wrap my head around your priorities.

Keep your self harm clean unless you want a infection that will cost money to heal that you don’t have.

Sorry if I was too blunt but it’s all truth you just can’t see it.