[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hello peoples !

Not a blip since I stopped Latuda. No withdrawals ( go me) my mood is stable. Just can’t wait til vacation !

Really nothing to report.

Hugs and cookies to all that need it ~

You! Glad you are well.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My mom has been helping me with some cleaning/organizing the last couple of days. I really appreciate the help but she makes me feel bad about it without trying. She said something today about not letting things get so ahead of me and I told her I just haven't had much motivation lately and that it's been hard with my father's illness and death. She told me I need to just do things regardless of how I feel. Which seems like asking a lot. My brother is grieving also and having a hard time and I don't think she gets why it is hard for us since it had been 20 years. The problem is that 20 years doesn't erase love, even if you thought it did and wanted it to. It's not like it will be when she dies, I can't imagine that, but it is sad and had and I'm proud that I have done enough laundry to have clean clothes.

Oh well. At least my house is getting cleaner and that's a good thing. The guilt I'll just have to ignore.

[RainyDay107]

@TheSeaCat
Hope you see this. Congratulations on your academics!

I hesitate to to post but just my opinion based on my own experience.

If you are finishing your degree and like your job. Seeking the Masters. I would not recommend and that is regardless of bipolar etc.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Wander

Thanks Scooter, Fern, and yellow-fleurs. You have encouraged me to stay here for now. I’m very self-conscious now.


Still, I will add to my update. I managed to get petrol and go for a swim. I swam hard, probably due to anxiety. Trying to burn it off. As I have Fibromyalgia, which is mild atm, I may crash later but it was worth it. My anxiety is less now. Trying to get in contact with my psychiatrist to get an Ativan script for my pharmacy given blister packs. As the pharmacy has already supplied 20 of their own (and also tried to contact my pdoc), if I don’t get a script by Thursday I will have to go without for four days which would be a disaster. Will try GP but my meds are so controlled she may refuse.


Trying to call the welfare line but they’ve been engaged all morning. If I get through it’s an hour wait. Need more staff. Want to nap. Tired but wired. So YouTube it is for now.

I want to swim. My pdoc keeps fussing on it. It I do not have access to a heated pool.

I hope the benzos are sorted out. If she refuses perhaps ask her if there are any side effects of not having the meds for a few days. (

I like YouTube but never know where to go. I drown on Reddit lol

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Ok the meds between psych and physical have always given me dry mouth but OMG today I have drank at least a gallon probably closer to a gallon and a half and I couldn’t spit to save my life.

Biotene is my best friend but it’s only lasting 15-20 mins at a time

I can’t do sugarless candy or gum , my teeth hurt enough as is.

Fml

How is Biotene? I have always wondered.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

How is Biotene? I have always wondered.

It’s soooooo helpful. Don’t buy generic Walmart stuff get the actual brand

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

So I posted basically the same message that I posted previous to this one that I had learned how to take world wide group conscience, or a private, secure, anonymous election based on an email list... I posted that message on another forum and not only was it withheld by the moderator, but now all of my posts onto that message board will be previewed before they are posted by a moderator for a month!


It really makes me appreciate the freedom we have just to be ourselves on psychforums. I feel like i am dealing with an idea police on the other board, which is a private fellowship board that is not public.

Need to share thoughts with my bf lol you sound similar.

Maybe try godlikeproductions

I call it aliensandmorons

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I think Biotene tastes like warm spit. Someone else wrote the same description somewhere on here but it's exactly what it reminds me of. Warm spit in a bottle.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I think Biotene tastes like warm spit. Someone else wrote the same description somewhere on here but it's exactly what it reminds me of. Warm spit in a bottle.

Hmmm. That would need to be Truth or Dare.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

Need to share thoughts with my bf lol you sound similar.

Maybe try godlikeproductions

I call it aliensandmorons

Omg I love godlikeproductions !!!!!! Haven’t been there in ages. I’m heading there now lolllollllollolololol

[RainyDay107]

Hugs to WC and Rainbow and you all. I’m feeling less mixed having connected with you all!

YET. I am still manic and need to STFU and read and catch up.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Omg I love godlikeproductions !!!!!! Haven’t been there in ages. I’m heading there now lolllollllollolololol

BUSTED!!!! You nerd lmao I love it

It's my first day on Lamictal and it's going well. No upset stomach or nausea. But i did feel extra tired and had a headache for a few hours. No rash. It'll take six weeks to get to an effective level tho so i have to be patient. I felt good for a while this afternoon but bored for the rest of the day.

[Victoria'smom]

So my husband wants me back on all my medication. ALL of it. He’s really mad CVS won’t help fix my prozac issue. He feels they are playing with my life. He’s being dramatic right now. Apparently I’m being a ***** and he thinks I’ll hurt myself. I just noticed all the sharp objects went missing (not looking for them just observant). He obviously doesn’t remember we almost broke up because I was uninterested in intimacy. He says he can’t sleep because I’m not sleeping and wants me not to take ambien because it’s addictive and I’m not sleep anyway. I’m tired just not sleeping. I’m staying in bed though. When did mischievous become a bad thing? I just think it’s withdraw. I want to cut out soda and see if that helps. I guess I’m scratching a lot, which is a sign of “bugs” plus apparently it looks odd as hell. I can learn to control my thoughts through CBT and I really don’t have to act on anything. Plus our car went up in smoke today. So I don’t want to make appointments. I don’t get into cars with strangers (taxis, uber, medicaid transport.) Plus I don’t take pills. So I will have to go back on 10’s. I wish I could talk to someone in real life not judgy like my ex T but not principle like pdoc. I don’t want just the STFU and take your meds or go to the hospital that won’t work long term for me. I need to find someone willing to work with the unmedicated me. I have yet to find one of these anti-meds therapist that are supposedly around. I took zyprexa last night and today felt like I was to weak to walk and wanted to pace at the same time.

It's 4:04 am and my window is open. I just heard the very first bird start to chirp in the morning. I am an early bird this morning, too. I fell asleep before 9 pm last night, I was so tired.

[Pookyl]

7:11 pm and all is well.

[Blue_Bird]

I spent the day with my friend yesterday, we had a lot of fun. I have a lot of anxiety about leaving the house lately so I'm glad I got to push through it and enjoy the weather.

My mood has been good. No psychosis anymore with the med changes. I'm feeling happy and am almost 2 weeks into recovery from my eating disorder.

Have also been drawing a lot and doing more things I enjoy.

I've had a really bad cough for awhile now that's driving me crazy. Part of it is from getting sick and part of it is Silent GERD because I need to get a refill on my meds for that, I've been without it for several days now, I'll make a walk-in appointment next week to get my prescription renewal.

My sleep has been somewhat strange. I can't sleep straight through the night anymore, I sleep from 2 to 4 hours at night then I wake up anywhere between 1 and 3am and am up till about 6 or 7 then fall back to sleep for a couple more hours. At least I'm getting some rest though, that's the important thing.

Hope everyone is doing well

I had my post op appointment yesterday @ Mass. Eye and Ear. The appointment went well. I met with the surgeon and one of his assistants, and everything looked good according to him. I couldn't really understand the assistant, as she had a VERY posh British accent and spoke fast. (I don't know why I can't understand British accents.) So I hope I didn't miss anything important. I didn't want to offend her by saying I couldn't understand her accent, but I probably should've politely asked her to reiterate what she said.

I'm afraid of what the bill is going to look like. I already owe something like $427 from a previous appt (i.e., not surgery) because my insurance picked up only part of the bill. Like 60% ish of the bill. I have NO idea why they didn't cover all of it since everything was considered medically necessary. It was considered "in network," too. And they covered all previous appts, so I don't get it.

But anyway, I paid for a top doctor, which is why I'm afraid of the bill. (Mass. Eye and Ear is part of Mass. General Hospital, which is ranked #4 in the U.S. and #6 in the world.) I wasn't going to settle for less, though, because I tried a bunch of specialists and they all failed me. And the other ENT doctors I saw were inconsistent in their "findings" as to what was wrong with me. So, I said f*** it and went with a top doctor. I'd rather have a top doctor do surgery on me than mess around trying to find someone at a decent price who won't f*** me up.

Otherwise, still depressed a bit. Been depressed for a while now. The Lexapro increase really f***ed with me, and even though I'm depressed now after reducing the dose, I'm better off not feeling wound up and restless.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I had my post op appointment yesterday @ Mass. Eye and Ear. The appointment went well. I met with the surgeon and one of his assistants, and everything looked good according to him. I couldn't really understand the assistant, as she had a VERY posh British accent and spoke fast. (I don't know why I can't understand British accents.) So I hope I didn't miss anything important. I didn't want to offend her by saying I couldn't understand her accent, but I probably should've politely asked her to reiterate what she said.

I'm afraid of what the bill is going to look like. I already owe something like $427 from a previous appt (i.e., not surgery) because my insurance picked up only part of the bill. Like 60% ish of the bill. I have NO idea why they didn't cover all of it since everything was considered medically necessary. It was considered "in network," too. And they covered all previous appts, so I don't get it.

But anyway, I paid for a top doctor, which is why I'm afraid of the bill. (Mass. Eye and Ear is part of Mass. General Hospital, which is ranked #4 in the U.S. and #6 in the world.) I wasn't going to settle for less, though, because I tried a bunch of specialists and they all failed me. And the other ENT doctors I saw were inconsistent in their "findings" as to what was wrong with me. So, I said f*** it and went with a top doctor. I'd rather have a top doctor do surgery on me than mess around trying to find someone at a decent price who won't f*** me up.

Otherwise, still depressed a bit. Been depressed for a while now. The Lexapro increase really f***ed with me, and even though I'm depressed now after reducing the dose, I'm better off not feeling wound up and restless.

I have been incorrectly charged before when my insurance company didn't realize I'd had a referral, maybe just double check why they didn't cover the bill? Also, you could always call back and ask your surgeon's office if you are worried you missed something, I bet they would want to make sure you knew what was going on post op. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

[yellow_fleurs]

Feeling a bit better today though not great. That was a really rough night. I tried to meet up with my friend but felt so terrible I ended up turning around and going home. I was feeling dizzy, and anxious, and like I was going to break down crying and had no idea how I could even talk to my friend much less be in a crowd.
I am worrying that I was inadvertently rude to my therapist yesterday. Hopefully she understands it was me being different than normal and doesn't fault me as I did not directly act mean to her. Definitely a reason I avoid interaction when I am like this.
I was not feeling optimistic about mindfulness during therapy yesterday, but now I am back to thinking that is one of the best things for me. I guess when I am really suffering it feels like it is not enough, and without an idea of how I will improve long term or exactly going on I feel a bit frustrated. I feel I ought to add a positive to my post, so I will say I got up early and already did the grocery shopping. Planning to cook some healthy things this week. Trying to turn things around this weekend and next week.

[lightly toasted]

Insomnia is kicking the s*** out of me this week. Couldn't get to sleep until after midnight last night, awake at 3 am, I've been awake since then. I'm feeling less mixed lately, and I've not had the bugs under the skin feeling for a couple of nights, but I'm still not sleeping.

Normally I would take an extra dose of sleep meds at 3 and turn off my alarm. Sometimes it just gets so bad I need to abandon the sleep schedule so I can grab a few hours sleep in the a.m. before the sleep deprivation gets too dangerous. But I was confident I'd get back to sleep on my own, and I really wanted to get out today, and I wouldn't have been able to drive if I'd taken the extra meds...bad judgement call...now I'm super sleep deprived and useless to myself. Gonna be a long day.

[Moose72]

Hello all! Just a check in.

Last night I went to a nice hotel to visit a friend whose youngest daughter was having her 13th birthday party there. They ate, they swam, they ate, they were loud and bouncy. I left around 11:30 and I just woke up at 11 this morning!

Wednesday, I have a colonoscopy. I start prepping tomorrow. I have prepped 3 times already and had it cancelled! And I ****ing HATE that prep! I get all low-bloodsuagry and dehydrated with a nasty headache AND the drink itself is disgusting- tastes like poison.

Bipolar is still in remission. Im going to push my luck and see if I can get off Seroquel again. I am determined to do liver detox and psych meds are making me sick. My liver needs to recover not get worse.

[lightly toasted]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I have prepped 3 times already and had it cancelled!

Good Lord! I feel for you Fingers crossed your next appointment is not cancelled.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been feeling off for a few days. Not exactly depressed but just not exactly happy either. I feel terrible about my weight and yet I keep stuffing my face with tasty yet high calorie treats. It’s like I can’t get enough sugar. I had a huge caramel latte from Dunkin’ Donuts today. And two munchkins and a bagel with butter and sour patch kids. I’ve eaten practically a days worth of calories already. And I’m going out to dinner tonight at a bar and grill so I will have a drink and then some wine at home. Calories calories calories. I don’t usually drink so that’s a nonissue but I think I need to do a sugar detox. I always say I’ll start Monday and then I **** Monday up and I’m like well I already ****ed up so whatever right?

Ugh. I have to do something. I’m my heaviest weight I’ve ever been. My clothes are getting tight. I refuse to buy bigger clothes. I’ve been the same size for three years after my initial invega weight gain. I wish I could blame it on a med this time but I can’t.

I wish I had better self control.

I did order one of those meal kit things so that I could begin to cook more at home. A cheaper one. I’ve only made one meal so far but it was good. I tried to make another meal but I burned the **** out of it. Not used to pan frying things.

RS is constantly telling me how beautiful I am but I don’t feel it at all. I bought pretty new clothes and I feel like they are too pretty for me. Like I’m not pretty enough to wear them.

I think I’m going to get a new tattoo soon and that might make me feel a little better.

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

I have been incorrectly charged before when my insurance company didn't realize I'd had a referral, maybe just double check why they didn't cover the bill? Also, you could always call back and ask your surgeon's office if you are worried you missed something, I bet they would want to make sure you knew what was going on post op. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

yeah, that's a good point. I should just call. Worst case, they'll leave the bill as is. Best case, I get better coverage.

I don't actually need a referral for anything because I have a PPO plan. So, I don't get why my insurance covered the first 2 appts, but not the 3rd. Maybe it was a mistake like you said. I don't have an insurance plan with a deductible, so it's not like I need to meet a deductible...