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#401
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Saw my GP today about my ongoing stomach issues. She is great. She could just fob it off as stress and send me on my way but is instead doing all the tests the hospital didn't do when I was in there for eight hours last week. The pain is much better than then but still causes considerable discomfort. My diet options have shrunk and taken away so many precious foods and drinks. On the plus I am continuing to lose weight. Getting close to my natural weight before meds.
Missing a few weeks with my T for various reasons. Initially I was a little worried as we were deep into the trauma but today I feel the break is actually a good thing. Last week I was in despair. Yesterday I picked up a little but today I was singing in the car (a BIG sign I am not depressed), and generally cheerful despite a stressful morning and the pain I am in. However a red flag has shown itself in the fact that I cry while extremely happy, ecstatic even. This is generally the beginning of hypomania. I feel much more social. Contacting everyone of my friends, making plans to catch up with each of them. Still I am sleeping but it is reducing day by day. Still a lot at 10 hours but last week when very ill I slept 20 hours a day. Idk. Maybe I am just happy to have some energy back. I wasn't depressed for longer than a few days and before that very stable, and the sadness was probably circumstantial. I am sick of questioning everything. I am going to have some fun
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() wildflowerchild25
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#402
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Doing ok, pretty low key weekend. We were able to take a motorcycle ride on Saturday, that was wonderful. Hubby has to work today so I'm getting laundry done and will do some cleaning. Skipped it last weekend and I had promised myself I would not let the house get bad again and I've been doing good with that for quite some time now.
Hugs to all ![]()
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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![]() Sunflower123
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#403
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Our deck and little back yard are almost ready. Only a few remaining details to complete. We saw our first female ruby throated hummingbird at the feeder this morning. I'm planning to make beef shish kabobs and corn on the cob later on for dinner. Our first BBQ of 2019.
This afternoon we are at my husband's favorite swim hole for the first time this season. It's a lovely day. |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#404
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Glad to read that so many of us are having a great day! I was out to starbucks with my eldest earlier. Then we went to Barnes and Noble. All my kids are off doing their own things. I hope its gorgeous out like this on Saturday because its the annual garage sale and N3 and I love to do that. Picnic later for dinner! Yummy.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
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#405
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I'm just days into taking bupropion (wellbutrin) but I can feel my body pains from the depression reducing. I don't think it's my imagination.
I'm still feeling low and I'm missing my son who just left after a visit but I'm getting by. Staying busy.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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#406
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A warm hello to all!
I have not been here often for quite a long time now. I do read when I can. My computer is dead. I have had to share one. My life has been full of crises for most of the year, thus far. Just when I think I am going to catch a break, more happens. I have not given up. I am trying to keep my wits about me, which can be a challenge at this point. My pdoc has been adjusting meds weekly, trying to help. As many know, my husband, like me, lives with BP illness. He has refused help for a few months now. His episodes are different from mine. I seek out my pdoc immediately. He has poor insight in an episode and will not seek help. He tends to get into a lot of trouble when he has one of his mania episodes. He has turned our lives upside down. It has been, and continues to be, a very challenging time. I am exhausted; yet, still trying. I have been doing all I can to get through this very sad, draining, emotional time in my life. I am just taking it day-by-day, often hour-by-hour. I still think of you all daily and wish I could be here more often. I will continue to check in as I am able to do so. Much love and appreciation to each of you! WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25, xRavenx, ~Christina
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#407
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I'm trying to figure out bills because in October we'll have Miguel's school bill. It's frustrating but I'm well enough to even look at bills so that's a plus. My stomach is still really messed up.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#408
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A warm hello to you WC!
It’s so good to hear from you though I am sorry you are struggling so mightily. Hang in there. You are very strong. You’ll make it through this. Much love and appreciation to you! ![]() Last edited by Sunflower123; May 27, 2019 at 07:50 PM. |
![]() Anonymous46341, TheSeaCat, xRavenx
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#409
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I went to a cookout at the pool today. Beautiful weather. Initially, I didn’t want to go because I’m down today and I knew there would be a lot of people there (I don’t like crowds) but I ended up having a good time anyway.
I usually go down to the pool early in the morning (between 7-8) so I can float alone in the deep end and ponder life. It’s very peaceful and helps my stability. I hope everybody had a peaceful day. Warm wishes and hugs to all. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, TheSeaCat, xRavenx
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![]() ~Christina
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#410
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Quiet day. Feelings from the past are coming to the surface though, and I think I must do something about it. I contacted a few therapists via email to see if perhaps I can go back to therapy and fit that into my schedule. I have been without a therapist for the past year now, but there's some issues I feel I need to address where I really need some guidance. I hope I find one within my price range that takes my insurance.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#411
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Quote:
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#412
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It’s been a very busy weekend for us! On Friday RS went to the house with his parents and fixed up the yard. It was very overgrown with weeds and poison ivy. Vines in the trees and bushes out front, etc. it looks much better now! Like a real house! RS and his dad mowed the lawn and weed whacked the weeds from the front yard. It seems that there was a little garden along the side of the house; we are going to get that stakes out and plant some hostas and other little plants. Maybe some veggies but I don’t really like veggies so maybe not. I wouldn’t want them going to waste. The property manager is going to get us a dryer even though it has to be very small to fit down the basement steps. Whatever, I’ll just be happy to have a washer and dryer.
Saturday we went out In search of sunglasses and a hat for me and sand toys for my son. I found sunglasses that would fit over my glasses but no hat. And we found a great bucket of toys for my son. We also got him yet another ball. An oversized soft beach volleyball. And we got some fold up camping chairs. We also went to the discount store and found a welcome mat and some towels for the house. Then we went to the house and got our living room furniture delivered. The recliner is so comfortable! We made a good choice. RS’s parents found a TV on clearance and bought it for us even though I told them several times we didn’t need a TV lol. Now we have two. We will put one in our room. We are planning on moving totally in when I am finished my master’s classes on July 1st. We will probably move in the following weekend. Sunday we went to a barbecue with RS’s cousins. It was ok but I didn’t know anyone except RS and his parents so I kind of kept to myself. Food was great though. Today we went to the beach. The water was freezing so I only dipped my toes in and spent the rest of the time napping in the sand. It was so relaxing. Only problem is despite applying sunscreen liberally I got absolutely roasted. My legs and arms are totally red and stinging. I applied after sun lotion with aloe and menthol to hopefully kill the pain but I had to take Advil as well since it hurt so bad. Oh well. We stopped at a barbecue place on the way home. It was really good! I spent way too much money this weekend but it was worth it. I’ll be more careful with my next paycheck. Gotta start saving that rent money! All In all it was a fantastic weekend. I even managed to get my assignments done for my classes. I hope I did well on them. I’m afraid I didn’t. Oh well as long as I get an 80 in the class I don’t have to repeat it. I’ve done well so far. I have a 95 I.n one and an 85 in the other. Next weekend we are planning to go to the mountains near me and go on a hike. I think my son will enjoy looking at nature. There is a stream that runs down the mountain that he can get his feet wet in if he wants and we can look at turtles and frogs and fish. Should be a good time. Sorry for the extra long update!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#413
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Much much
![]() You're in my thoughts. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#414
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For WIldflowerchild. (not sure why it didn't quote. must have clicked the wrong button)
Sunburn hurts so much. I am an Australian so I have been there before. Down here we have a very thin ozone layer which allows more UV in. When I was in the USA one summer I noticed how relatively gentle the sun is over you. Once I was on Chlorpromazine and I just couldn't go out in the sun, cream or not. That is why I stopped it. After a few minutes I could feel my skin burning. Anyway, Aloe Vera is an excellent choice. If you can use the plant rather than store bought. Use liberally and often. This has helped knock down the recovery time for me in the past and eased the pain a little too. It also reduces your chance of sun damage on your skin. I hope you feel better soon!
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, wildflowerchild25
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![]() wildflowerchild25
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#415
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Physically kind of up and down, energy, hip, and stomach wise. Still, I think I am recovering in most areas. Could be a while though. My vision has been off for ages but I have been too sick, or distracted to do anything about it. I have an eye test next week to make sure it's not physical, but I am almost certain that it is due to Lamictal as it started around the time I started it and has only gotten worse being on this high dose. Due to this I am slowly reducing my dose from tomorrow. Seeing my pdoc in two weeks so I can talk to him about it. I really doubt it is helping me at all anyway. I was mad mixed psychotic on it and things only changed when Geodon was added. I hate being on meds as it is, never alone four pretty heavy ones.
Today is a beautiful late autumn day. Shorts and t-shirt weather. It shouldn't be so (the weather has been crazy odd these last 12 months at least), but I am going to enjoy it. Tomorrow I am going for a light swim in the ocean (which is actually much colder as it was in summer which is as it should be). Still singing with a smile in my car. Bouncing my head to the beat. Yesterday I finally picked up my guitar after many silent weeks. Amazingly I started writing a song. Nothing to keep but it is amazing as I haven't written anything for fifteen years. My mojo died. This excites me. I feel alive again. The best bit is that all this is happening while I am stable.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
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#416
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I finally got some very deep sleep and no nightmares!
But I am miserable. I take Enbrel for psoriasis and PsA and it was working wonderfully.. but today I have had 3 spots blow up and so itchy I am literally going mad. I scratch til it bleeds. This is just common having this particular autoimmune disease . I hope that this flare clears up quickly. Was a very quiet day here.. we bought a deck last week that also has a roof from someone. We got it into place last week and now it’s time to make modifications so it will be exactly what we want, it cost less than half of what we would have spent on buying supplies and building it from the ground up. It will be slow going , it’s just so hot , feels like August, ugh I have started the taper down on one of my physical meds. I’m just being overly cautious. The other I just dropped cold turkey. My T was out sick on Wednesday so it will be a month between our last session. I actually wasn’t sure what I really wanted to talk about so it’s okay. I just hope he is okay he’s 68 and healthy in general, but I still worry Tomorrow I really must venture out , I am in desperate need of a pedicure, it’s such a treat for me I normally do my own. My husband needs to pick up some medications. I have been addicted to watching videos on Facebook on tips of cooking steak so I might see if I can find a couple good looking one. Another big treat. We have really stuck to our budget this month. So a small treat I am comfortable making the rest we save is going directly into our emergency fund. It sure does feel good to keep adding to that. K I’m going to go scratch like a dog with extreme mange, sigh
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#417
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I’m glad to see you ... your up against some huge struggles but you always keep pushing and that’s a huge positive. Love you bunches my friend ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() TheSeaCat
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#418
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We survived the tornadoes.
That’s all |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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![]() ~Christina
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#419
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Hugs, WC! I'm glad you checked in to let us know how you're doing.
I'm another person who got sunburn yesterday. I sat in the shade, but without sunscreen. Today I want to buy six new flower boxes and a flower pot, then perhaps plant the flowers in them (begonias), if I'm up to it and the weather permits. There may be thunderstorms later. I have my therapy appointment today. I'm glad I just remembered. The holiday yesterday almost threw me off. |
![]() Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
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#420
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Quote:
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous46341, TheSeaCat
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#421
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Some 86 year old lady hit my car today while I was driving. I was going through the intersection of a stop sign and she didn't stop her car. She hit me on the rear right of my car behind the tire area. She told the cops I hit her (LOL!) and that I blew a stop sign. I don't know how I could have possibly hit her if the damage is to the right rear of the car. But oh well. She ain't winning that argument.
Granny was pretty hostile and aggressive! I don't know what her problem was. She was probably mad at herself for hitting me. Maybe she knows her kids will take away her keys since she's obviously too old to be driving. I wish there were laws which required people to retake their driving tests every X number of years as a means of preventing accidents caused by elderly, or otherwise driving-incapable people. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
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#422
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Pinkeye is back. ****!!!!!
What's worse is that I may have done it to myself. ![]() I still have drops from before, so I started them right away. It is SERIOUSLY bumming me out. I didn't want to get up today (noon) and want to wear a paper bag over my head. I just can't go through this again. Just when things were starting to look up... Have a T appt. today. Only reason I'm getting up at all. FML |
![]() Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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#423
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It became quite apparent that I experienced what I call an "upswing" today (aka mild hypomania). My therapist agreed. It was nothing too concerning. All pleasant stuff. It has since calmed. Anyway, it started by getting up early and making a nice breakfast. Then soon after I went out. Bagel shop for a second breakfast, garden center further down the road, bread/ravioli shop, the pharmacy downtown, a grocery store in another part of town, a hardware/housewares shop near there, home, then to my therapist, then stopped for gas in area near therapist, then to the grocery store again, then finally home. I bought mulch, a new pot, two loafs of artisan bread, a few groceries, two beautiful new coffee mugs, new dish towels, new pot holders, and the gas. I think I spent a total of $220 on everything. Could have been worse.
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#424
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IOP doc upped the Wellbutrin I recently started. There's really not much to say. I'm getting sick of the IOP because there's a lot of free time and it's just really loud from people talking and joking around. I'm more of a loner that does other stuff so I think I'm going to ask to vve discharged soon, although my meds are still not where I want them to be and if I don't get them there I'm probably going to stop them again.
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#425
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I took mom to the doctor today and she is officially healed of her injuries from the fall down the escalator. Good news! I am so happy she has healed and that it wasn’t worse. Do I sound like a jerk when I mention how much I need this week break in Florida from caregiving? I love my mom. Having said that, I’m so looking forward to some alone time caring for just me.
Had a tough time with SI last night and my bag of tricks didn’t work. Tried to put myself to sleep to reset and it took a long time. Really scared for a while there. I thought I was through that stage. Feeling much better today. Had a busy day today out and about. Happy to be home relaxing. Warm wishes and hugs to all. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835
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![]() ~Christina
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Closed Thread |
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