[sadveiledbride]

Haven't yet slept, it 3:30 AM EST. I hope to stay up for the next 9 or so hours and finish all my schoolwork. I feel purely awful... I need to get myself out of this deep dark hole I'm in.

[Wander]

Saw my T today. He was very encouraging. As I’ve been controlled all my life by some of those around me I struggle to take full control of my life. Also living under the threat of another episode is also a form of control. So now I’m trying to take back control of my life. We talked about other stuff but this was the main point.

Saw my GP. Blood test for gastritis was negative so I’m having an endoscopy Tuesday. She said it may be an ulcer. I just hope it’s not serious or permanent. Feeling ok mentally. I love being stable.

[Blueberrybook]

Getting an iron infusion right now. Barely made it here in time - horrific rain, traffic, lots of highway lanes shut off for construction, traffic signals out. Was pretty stressed, and that was with H driving me, had minor panic attack. I hate to be late anywhere and hence usually arrive ages early. Hope this helps my iron issues. Very cold right now. Mood so-so.

Hugs to everyone needing them.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My cousin in law was found dead of an apparent overdose on Saturday morning by my mother in law who was living with her. It was a huge shock. No one knew she was into drugs besides pot. I’m going to the funeral on Friday. It’s awful. Just like my husband. Gone way too soon. She was only 33. I wasn’t very close with her but she was in my wedding 8 years ago. It’s just such a tragedy. Her, my brother In law, and father in law, all gone within 8 months. That’s too much for any family to take.

Other than that everything is going well for me. I’m halfway through my master’s classes and now have an A and an A-. I have to get cracking on my final projects. We will be moving on June 22. I signed my contract for next year so I definitely have a job. I also am working at the school this summer instead of the summer camp just because the hours are better and I can get more done in the summer time. I already paid for before and after care at my son’s camp though which sucks. But oh well. I’m not as stressed out about moving as I was. I’m still stressed about school but again, not as much.

The most important thing I have to take care of right now is my smoking. My boyfriend found out that I’m smoking again and he was NOT pleased. It almost led to our first fight. But I groveled and apologized and promised to quit. So now I have to follow through on that promise. It helps that I can’t afford to smoke this week. I have $75 in my checking account to last me until next Wednesday. I have some money in savings that I could transfer but I need it for rent. So I’d rather not.

I'm so sorry, wildflowerchild. That is a lot of loss in a short time.

Congrats on your other stuff though. Way to go!

Good luck with the smoking. It's better on the other side, it really is. (I quit cold turkey when there was too much of a rainy spell. I didn't want to deal with going out in it. So I just stopped. Saves a lot of money for starters...)

[Phoenix_1]

Feeling much better, getting the Abilify out of my system. The half life is 72 hours. I can remember phone numbers again. I remembered my wifi password and yesterday's bank balance without looking them up and having to write them down. I was an accounting clerk my entire working life because I was so good with numbers. I'm starting to be able to think and remember again after 2 years of feeling like a zombie on Seroquel. I start Risperdal tomorrow, so I'm hoping that it works better.

[Sunflower123]

I’ve found that I can enjoy the beach if I have a strong drink to ease the pain in my knees and back. I know that opens up a whole lot of issues but I’m doing the best that I can under these circumstances. Two weeks won’t be so bad and I have appointments with a chiropractor and a physical therapist when I get back. I’ll also look into knee replacement.

Having said that, I just got through floating and am reading the latest James Patterson mystery novel by the shore. It’s relaxing and I am painfree for a short time. Beats lidocaine patches and heating pads.

The kids have been great. I really like M’s boyfriend. Nice guy, treats her well, intelligent and easy to talk to.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Heading home with my hubby on an express train from NYC. We saw a ballet at the Metropolitan Opera House. It was a pleasant day!

[Blueberrybook]

So sorry wildflowerchild. That is so sad

[VerMOZZica]

Today wasn`t good. I couldn`t get out of bed because I had a difficult time getting to sleep last night so I overslept. After I ate something I just went back to bed. I feel so horrible today. Tomorrow I have therapy if that hasn`t been cancelled. I hope your guys day was better than mine. Hugs to all that want them.

[sadveiledbride]

Cancelled an appt. of mine and felt really guilty, because I was so tired and if had gotten up, was going to run on 4 hours of sleep. I'm feeling really ****** right now. I'm tired as heck and I want to sleep for a long time. I hope one-day things get better. I just have to remember, that this two shall pass, that all things must pass, as George Harrison said. (((Hugs))) to all...

[~Christina]

Saw my T today , had a very good session. Cleaned , laundry and made yummy meatballs for dinner.

My husband has finished modifying the deck to fit our Home. He bought paint, deck stain and sealer. We have rain the rest of the week but will be dry all of next week , can’t wait to get it all done.

So this weird spot of psoriasis that popped up in my right eyebrow is literally making me crazy. I keep it coated in medication but I keep scratching it til it bleeds. Horrible auto immune disease to deal with for reals

Hugs and cookies for anyone wanting it.

[Miss Laura]

My appointment with my therapist is cancelled today. Gutted. Could of done with seeing her. Staying hone all day. Feeling blah today. I have been self harming this week which sucks.

[Daonnachd]

I had ECT yesterday and my mother-in-law was driving me. When she takes me I always tell her we need to leave two hours before I need to be there. Yesterday she was 20 minutes late. Then we hit bad traffic. Eventually it happened though. I don't know what they did differently, but I left in a lot of pain. This morning I still hurt and I've got to go to work.

I mentioned in another thread that I planned my meals today. So far I'm sticking to the plan and not exceeding allowances (calories, fat, carb).

I have my first private French lesson tomorrow after weeks of a break from them. I haven't done any homework for it. My therapist convinced me that it doesn't matter and that that shouldn't deter me from going. I'm repelled from doing it for reasons I won't go into.

I do want to clean up around the house this afternoon. I also want to make a soup to go along with dinner.

[Wild Coyote]

A warm hello to all!

Just dropping in to read, to say hello, etc.

I am still having a very rough ride. "Environmental" factors have only gotten much worse. I am trying hard to hang on and to get through. It'll be awhile yet.

I am seeing my pdoc "(she is also my therapist) every week right now. We are making frequent med changes, as the situation is changing as new information come to light... which is almost daily right now.

I am sorry I am not able to disclose more right now; however, the main person causing this severe distress knows my screen name here. (I know I can change my name here, etc. I am not ready to do so. At some point, I can see myself disclosing more info, when the timing is better.)

In addition to this severe and ongoing stress, my brother had surgery 3 days ago... and had almost died from the surgery. He was intubated and in ICU for 3 days/nights. Fortunately, he has been extubated and, for now, it appears he will be okay.

I am EXHAUSTED... AND CANNOT SLEEP. I am taking all of the Seroquel I can stand, which is causing a hangover type of an effect. I am starting to feel "mixed." I see pdoc tomorrow, thankfully.

I am sorry, I am dozing off as I write. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you I am missing you!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!

Just dropping in to read, to say hello, etc.

I am still having a very rough ride. "Environmental" factors have only gotten much worse. I am trying hard to hang on and to get through. It'll be awhile yet.

I am seeing my pdoc "(she is also my therapist) every week right now. We are making frequent med changes, as the situation is changing as new information come to light... which is almost daily right now.

I am sorry I am not able to disclose more right now; however, the main person causing this severe distress knows my screen name here. (I know I can change my name here, etc. I am not ready to do so. At some point, I can see myself disclosing more info, when the timing is better.)

In addition to this severe and ongoing stress, my brother had surgery 3 days ago... and had almost died from the surgery. He was intubated and in ICU for 3 days/nights. Fortunately, he has been extubated and, for now, it appears he will be okay.

I am EXHAUSTED... AND CANNOT SLEEP. I am taking all of the Seroquel I can stand, which is causing a hangover type of an effect. I am starting to feel "mixed." I see pdoc tomorrow, thankfully.

I am sorry, I am dozing off as I write. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you I am missing you!

Thinking of you with warm wishes and the best possible outcome. Thanks for checking in. Sending big hugs and positive vibes.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( Wildflower )))))

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!

Just dropping in to read, to say hello, etc.

I am still having a very rough ride. "Environmental" factors have only gotten much worse. I am trying hard to hang on and to get through. It'll be awhile yet.

I am seeing my pdoc "(she is also my therapist) every week right now. We are making frequent med changes, as the situation is changing as new information come to light... which is almost daily right now.

I am sorry I am not able to disclose more right now; however, the main person causing this severe distress knows my screen name here. (I know I can change my name here, etc. I am not ready to do so. At some point, I can see myself disclosing more info, when the timing is better.)

In addition to this severe and ongoing stress, my brother had surgery 3 days ago... and had almost died from the surgery. He was intubated and in ICU for 3 days/nights. Fortunately, he has been extubated and, for now, it appears he will be okay.

I am EXHAUSTED... AND CANNOT SLEEP. I am taking all of the Seroquel I can stand, which is causing a hangover type of an effect. I am starting to feel "mixed." I see pdoc tomorrow, thankfully.

I am sorry, I am dozing off as I write. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you I am missing you!

Sorry to hear that things are not going well, but glad to hear your brother is better. Miss you too!

[Unrigged64072835]

Sorry for your loss as well, Wildflowerchild. I apologize for not saying anything sooner.

Been sewing a lot, cooking a lot and trying to stay cool. People are starting to recover from the tornadoes so that’s good. Now waiting to see why the car makes abnormal noises at random moments. Husband’s MRI results came back good—no new lesions—but don’t need more stress at the moment.

Love to everyone!

ETA: Both daughter and her new boyfriend both accepted promotions. Hooray!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!

Just dropping in to read, to say hello, etc.

I am still having a very rough ride. "Environmental" factors have only gotten much worse. I am trying hard to hang on and to get through. It'll be awhile yet.

I am seeing my pdoc "(she is also my therapist) every week right now. We are making frequent med changes, as the situation is changing as new information come to light... which is almost daily right now.

I am sorry I am not able to disclose more right now; however, the main person causing this severe distress knows my screen name here. (I know I can change my name here, etc. I am not ready to do so. At some point, I can see myself disclosing more info, when the timing is better.)

In addition to this severe and ongoing stress, my brother had surgery 3 days ago... and had almost died from the surgery. He was intubated and in ICU for 3 days/nights. Fortunately, he has been extubated and, for now, it appears he will be okay.

I am EXHAUSTED... AND CANNOT SLEEP. I am taking all of the Seroquel I can stand, which is causing a hangover type of an effect. I am starting to feel "mixed." I see pdoc tomorrow, thankfully.

I am sorry, I am dozing off as I write. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you I am missing you!

I am so sorry! What a rough time you've had And you're still not sleeping well? That sucks so much. I have always struggled with sleep, but thank God, Seroquel knocks me out, and if it doesn't, pdoc says take some Trazodone & hydroxyzine.

How much Seroquel are you on? I cannot stand more than 400 mg, and that is pushing it. I might ask the pdoc to go down to 300 or 350 nex visit. Once I was on 500 mg, and I just couldn't function.

Do you have someone other than your pdoc investigating other possible causes of sleeplessness? Like had a full lab workup, hormones, thyroid, vitamins and minerals, etc. I know I've got iron anemia, and ironically, while it makes a person tired, it also causes sleeplessness.

How much sleep do you get most nights?

[Blueberrybook]

I'm tired today after having the 2nd iron infusion yesterday (go for bloodwork in 4 weeks). Have had a migraine all afternoon.

Just got back from taking my daughter to the library. Summer reading program signup was Monday, and today, she informed me she had enough points to get the first prize (a book). Then there are earbuds and lastly, a medal. I think she really, really wants the medal as they were quite nice medals last year, not something cheap looking.

I baked some chocolate chip muffins, but they were a mix, only requiring adding milk. I missed the timer on the oven, but I think I got them out in time. I burn food all the time because of getting distracted or having strong feelings of needing to do something I've just thought of immediately. There are days when I really hate being me, losing my cellphone constantly or keys or book or iPad or drink or basically anything I can carry to another room. It's exhausting.

I saw my doctor today and he says it's too soon to withdraw from Seroquel. He wants to give Lamictal a fair shake. He's going on holidays so i won't see him for six weeks. Ack! Tired of the fatfatfat Seroquel-bloat. I have to rest on benches in the mall now. It's strenuous carrying 100kg around. Small consolation that i am a perfect 100kg tho. A round number. Like me!

[Wander]

It is finally raining here after months of drought. It was so wonderful to wake up to the sound of rain. It’s going to rain for the next four days but not all day so we still won’t get enough to fully break the drought.

Trying to keep myself busy while restricted by physical illnesses. Tried to get my Geodon script today but my pdoc didn’t make it an authority script so I would have to pay $250 instead of $6.50. Luckily I have a more recent script that is an authority script. I should have checked. They don’t have it in stock anyway so I have to wait till Monday. I have enough to last me.

Sorry for my boring updates. Not much happening here and I’m so bored. Posting here helps.

[jmariah001]

Can't sleep as usual. Just up listening to music and journaling. Been feeling a little better this week. It has been rough since April since my cat died. I had a doctors appt. recently she kept my meds the same and told me to do some walking she said that might help with the depression. It has been rainy here so the walking part hasn't been easy. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice. Fingers crossed that I get some walking in. Well back to my music and journal.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!


Just dropping in to read, to say hello, etc.


I am still having a very rough ride. "Environmental" factors have only gotten much worse. I am trying hard to hang on and to get through. It'll be awhile yet.


I am seeing my pdoc "(she is also my therapist) every week right now. We are making frequent med changes, as the situation is changing as new information come to light... which is almost daily right now.


I am sorry I am not able to disclose more right now; however, the main person causing this severe distress knows my screen name here. (I know I can change my name here, etc. I am not ready to do so. At some point, I can see myself disclosing more info, when the timing is better.)


In addition to this severe and ongoing stress, my brother had surgery 3 days ago... and had almost died from the surgery. He was intubated and in ICU for 3 days/nights. Fortunately, he has been extubated and, for now, it appears he will be okay.


I am EXHAUSTED... AND CANNOT SLEEP. I am taking all of the Seroquel I can stand, which is causing a hangover type of an effect. I am starting to feel "mixed." I see pdoc tomorrow, thankfully.


I am sorry, I am dozing off as I write. Just wanted to say hi and to tell you I am missing you!

Much Love my friend