Bipolar check-in #44

Nammu for president!!!

Teletherapy is not legal yet in my state!
Maybe the Governor will allow it through an executive order or something. Think about all of the people going without their therapists.
my pdoc is in private practice...out on her own. She has no group practice benefits package or anything, so she loses a lot of income when not seeing her clients!
Absolutely no telephone therapy, no remote therapy allowed in this state (by practitioners licensed in this state, that is.). YIKES!

I think it happened with SARS too, but that was mostly contained in China. This one happens to be more widespread, so the news is reporting it more than SARS. Plus, with the likes of Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, more people are sharing their experiences online with their friends, inciting more panic than usual.

But yeah, I suppose hoarding could be mentioned, but with reference to how social media impacts how people think about pandemics/viruses. However, this exact situation happened with H1N1 in downtown Boston when I was living there (bare shelves, etc.), but I don't think that is reported in history books though, unless it was maybe a few lines of text? I know that H1N1 isn't as widespread, but people did behave the same way.

But at some point someone will do their PhD on social media and the panics surrounding epidemics and pandemics. That's when they'll get oral histories of stockists who worked in the stores extra hours to get shelves restocked, or of people who were pulled from stocking shelves so they could run a cash register in an attempt to mitigate the lines of customers.

What the heck?! No teletherapy? Sorry to hear that.

Is there an actual legit reason teletherapy is illegal? Seems to be kind of a strange decision when a lot of other states are doing it...

Excellent point, Daonnachd

FWIW, I do think it is worth looking at from a social media POV. I think it would be interesting to read, actually. Sometimes I wonder how different things would be with no social media. Heck, even Ebola got tons of social media responses, and it got to the point where I think Obama made the decision to have the media lay off on the reporting (unless I am forgetting).

Social media is a double edged sword IMO.

I'm sorry to hear your ECT has been cancelled - like you it is something that really helps me. Take care of yourself.

So I work in a hospital and have a 16 hour shift today. I'm thankful that I have a job that won't be cancelled during this time but not going to lie - today is going to be brutual.

Luckily I slept really deeply for 4 hours.

I guess deep for 4 hrs is better than tossing and turning for 8...

Good luck at work.

I think I need to leave, at least for a long while. I am not feeling right...

What's wrong blue?

My T cancelled our appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) as he has extra meetings at work. He is the head professor of social work and psychopharmacology at a local university so has a lot of extra meetings regarding coronavirus. He has kindly offered to see me Saturday as he knows I’m struggling. So far I am still seeing my pdoc on Thursday. I really need to see him as we are going to trial Ritalin to help me deal with Fibromyalgia cognitive issues.

I dragged myself to university today. Mainly to show attendance as I missed last week. It made me feel much sicker (Fibromyalgia) which is incredibly discouraging. Australia has yet to be hit with the full brunt of the virus so schools are still open. Still, everything has a surreal quality to it. People are freaking out as we are expecting things to worsen, especially as we head into our usual flu season. Social distancing is beginning to be implemented. I miss hugging my family.

What makes this weirder is having strong SI while the pandemic spreads. I worry for everyone else but not myself. With the slither of hope I have left for myself I do positive things like meditation and eating well. Mostly I rest ... and wait. My body feels so awful but I struggle to sleep, to find escape in sleep. It is relentless. I am exhausted. There are moments when I truly feel I am at the edge of losing my sanity. It’s scary.

I truly wish you all peace, health, and safety during these crazy times.

RAGING because nothing is fast enough for me

Wander, bluebicycle, and everyone here, I send you all hugs. This pandemic is a HUGE stressor on top of so many other stressors in life. It fuels mood episode fires in some of us. It is also so crap*y that many who have been doing fairly well have been (or might be) affected negatively because of all this. I hope that everyone can find as much support as possible during this trying time. Obviously, if people need to step away I understand, but only if stepping away is the best move. I worry that if people step away and find themselves with insufficient support because of it, that that will be detrimental. I know from my past experiences, it is good to allow yourself to change your mind about various things in life. For example, one can step away and come back literally hours later. One can refuse an appointment for various reasons, and then call to say they've changed their mind. One must reach out and say "I need help". It is crucial.

For some reason I am extremely nervous about the video session I'm supposed to have with my therapist today. It's the first of that kind that I've ever had. I really like and trust my therapist, so it does seem odd to me that I'm nervous. I guess part of the anxiety stems from it just being such a different approach. It even seems so different, to me, than a phone session. One could call me an old fogy type not being used to video chat, and stuff. Well, I guess I am. I will do it at 2 pm. I'm sure it won't be nearly as painful as I think. I will tell her about this nervousness, but will refuse any suggestion to switch to phone only.

Change is very tough for me, and I know it is for most everyone, including many people even without a mental health issue. Suddenly many worries have started accumulating for me. Will my husband have his job in X years? Or months? If/when he loses it, we would need to take drastic action ASAP. That can often be the figurative tidal wave I've talked about in other threads. Not to say it would totally take me, but that it could be a very tough battle to swim and then find peaceful waters.

I woke up to hearing hammers and saws! Builders are here to deconstruct and to reconstruct the back wall of this house, 1-2 floors, maybe more. What timing! We are cooped up here...and all of this noise!!! It may continue for a couple of weeks.

My heart goes out to many . These are very stressful times.

I hope we can continue to lovingly support one another during this time. We may be called upon to practice a bit more patience and understanding for one another; yet, I have no doubt we can make it through with mutual respect and compassion for one another intact. .

I woke up at 3am singing U2's more obscure song "The Saints Are Coming." Otherwise it's a normal day.

I should give credit to the original band to perform "The Saints..." It was the Skids, a Scottish punk band of the 70s.

@bluebicycle Take care of yourself ... but we'll miss you here.

Have been severely depressed for a couple of months now. It got worse these past few weeks and I'm having pretty bad SI. Only thing stopping me is that I don't want to do that to my family. Now I can't even go to therapy because they're closed due to corona. I don't know for how long but it's going to be at least a few weeks. I don't know how the hell I'm going to survive that long. I don't even know how I'm supposed to get through another day. I'm meant to be working but my brain won't cooperate and I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I don't find a way to concentrate. It's getting impossible to pretend like nothing's going on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote I woke up to hearing hammers and saws! Builders are here to deconstruct and to reconstruct the back wall of this house, 1-2 floors, maybe more. What timing! We are cooped up here...and all of this noise!!! It may continue for a couple of weeks. My heart goes out to many . These are very stressful times. I hope we can continue to lovingly support one another during this time. We may be called upon to practice a bit more patience and understanding for one another; yet, I have no doubt we can make it through with mutual respect and compassion for one another intact. .

Ugggh, just what you need - builders! I'm so sorry, WC

I'm pissed off at my pdoc for not coming to work with absolutely no notice in advance.

I want to send loving vibes to everyone on our Bipolar board. How fortunate we are to have each other at this time

Yeah, doc John was prescient!

I'm grateful for every last one of you guys

Hear, hear!! (virus-free group hug)

Sorry about your pdoc doing that, BethRags. Ugh.

I'm currently waiting to get a text that I can p/u my meds. Just want to get it done.

Edited to add: got the meds, heading home and holing up for awhile. New protocols at work, so I'm not there.

Feeling like the quote above .... (re the rain...)

Safe group hugs to all

I am glad that i have an online support group in these trying times. My naturally reclusive lifestyle lends itself well to the new reality. My Scrabble club will try an online meeting tomorrow. I'm quite excited to see how it will go! I'm also lucky that i am good on computers and have been playing online for years. Some club members are not very good on their computers and don't play online. They won't be able to participate.

I'm writing today mostly to share about a thing i did that made me feel better re C-19. I looked every where in the kitchen and listed all the things i have to eat. I felt better when i saw that i actually have quite a lot. I have several cans of clam chowder that i had forgotten about. Yum! I'm going to ration my pop as i'm running low. I am a big Coke Zero fiend. Maybe C-19 will be just the reason i FINALLY get off it?

Unfortunately, my teeth are acting up. I hate the dentist. I thought they were just sensitive because i missed brushing one day but they haven't improved. I looked in my mouth and i think i have two cavities. I can only eat soft food, so i can forget about the several bags of chips i bought. They only hurt when i brush or chew carelessly so it's not an emergency just yet. I will just keep an eye on them. My dentist's office is closed so i'd have to go to an emergency dentist but i live in a big city so someone should be available. I think cavity pain comes on slowly so i should have some lead time. Really regretting letting my regular teeth cleanings with my dentist lapse.

Hugs to all and may we all stay healthy!