Bipolar check in #45

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Had another teletherapy session today. My therapist reminded me that I have NOT gone bike riding in a long time. I think I will finally pick up my bike from my parents' house this weekend so that I can ride it around. I just do not know how I feel about riding it on my complex's trails. Most people walk, not bike, and the trail is narrow and paved.

I could go elsewhere, but nah, I'd rather not.

I hope the bobcats and bears are gone, as that was my main concern before about going out for walks. I wanted to avoid those mean beasts at all costs. But I also want to avoid other people for obvious reasons.

My therapist suggested that I consider getting my bike tuned up at a local shop, and I think I will do that. It is a nice bike and could use a little love. I hope it does not have rust on it or anything. *yikes*

Now that I have a garage, I think I will be all set to put my bike there. I am glad I will have a place for it now. So all I need is the tuneup and a new helmet.

Good for you, blue. As a riding peer likes to frequently say: "Ride Bikes!"

If you needed more support for your decision, check this out: Science Explains How Cycling Changes Your Brain And Makes You Mentally Stronger

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I didn't know there were bears near you blue

If I had a therapist they would probably suggest I went for walks, it's quiet around here. It would take a lot of grooming for me to pass for human though, it takes a very long time

I have been staying in my cave for over 3 weeks (probably longer).. I have not been out at all.
(everyone knows the reason

)

I have a good friend with a mental health issue (severe depression and anxiety) who does not post in this section of the board. My friend says they have not been eating right

Papa bear (my husband) organises our meals. I could feel ''useless'' and ''less than'' but he actually enjoys taking care of us both in those ways. I do not even have a credit card. I am not ''proud'' of that, again I could berate myself and say how ....... I am, but it is how our life has evolved. There was a time when there was very little income coming in and having been severely neglected in childhood by very affluent parents (and no other family who cared at all, no siblings) I am used to living with the bare minimum, or less. So i went around in rags, literally, when he had been laid off through no fault of his own. He was a senior director at a large technical company. I had been taught how to ''exist'' on my own, and he needs a LOT of quiet and alone time.....so I left him alone to recover from the assault by the sharks who took over the company and then completely bankrupted it, everyone was laid off eventually,

respect to all

Hang in there, Fuzzy. I am so sorry you and your husband have had to go through these difficult times. Life can be so hard for us.

And yet, you are a survivor. You are strong!! And I am proud to be your friend!!!

Hugs and love!!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 02:04 PM

Finally got some pretty good sleep. The neighbors didn't party all night, for some reason. Have been pretty furiously working on this edit. Lots of progress. When I get to this point, it has a habit of sort of taking over my life. I have to be a bit careful that it doesn't become some sort of manic thing. But I am okay for now.

Grappling with some very difficult personal/financial issues. Not ready to fully get into it, but basically, the person I put in charge of handling my money has, unfortunately and kind of without my knowledge, I guess you could say, uh spent a lot of it. Very disappointing. Tricky for me, because I do not want them in any legal trouble. Long story. Not sure where to go with this. The main thing is, I just cannot have this continue to happen with what little I have left. So, I need a plan.

Supposed to be almost 80 degrees today. Planning a giant ride.

Sending and love and hugs to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mountaindewed · Apr 17, 2020, 02:36 PM

My moods are still off. I took 2 Xanax and a visteral today. I just stopped getting news updates. This whole high libido thing I’ve been having lately is especially bad today. There’s not much I can do about it though. I’m trying to not email my therapist this weekend.

Fuzzybear · Apr 17, 2020, 04:25 PM

I did a meditation just now

(for beginners)

I feel much calmer. Thank you to the friend who sent me the link

Blue_Bird · Apr 17, 2020, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I did a meditation just now

(for beginners)

I feel much calmer. Thank you to the friend who sent me the link

That’s great! I love meditation, I find it super helpful

Apr 17, 2020, 05:03 PM

@Jennifer 1967: So happy for you, that your power is back on! And so much sooner than expected -- that's just great news!

@BirdDancer: It sounds difficult with your dad. But being such a kick-*** writer i am sure you will nail the document for the lawyer. Eldercare is expensive. I know of someone here (Canada) who pays $5000 a month for a retirement residence. This worries me, about my own prospects as a senior. I sure can't afford that!

@Blue_Bird: I think many of us are struggling with the boredom-eating. When this is over there will probably be a blitz of COVID-19-weight-loss programs.

@bpcyclist: Your weather sounds heavenly! It was a high of 43 degrees fahrenheit here today. There was a snow squall yesterday and the wind was so strong it blew the snow horizontally! Spring can come anytime now...

In my news, i've been trying to recover from all the hard work around my home i did days ago. I really wrecked myself. Sore muscles. But thems the breaks when i try and move around after a Winter of inactivity due to depression. I just never get physically fit because by the time i work up to being active every day it's time to get depressed again. Sigh!

My mood is good tho. Not soaring, not plummeting. It's kind of an absurd life, bipolar.

Moose72 · Apr 17, 2020, 07:04 PM

Been in bed all day. Crazy dreams off and on. Watching tv. No exercise. Bowl of chicken and rice soup. Just feel like a worn out dish rag. Muscles atrophying. Meh.

Blue_Bird · Apr 17, 2020, 08:24 PM

I took my new med about 40 minutes ago and am having a panic attack because I’m scared I’ll die from it

~Christina · Apr 17, 2020, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I took my new med about 40 minutes ago and am having a panic attack because I’m scared I’ll die from it

Can you stop and do some breathing exercises? often times when I am in a panic attack I jump in the shower, sometimes just the feel of the water and the sound soothes me.. How about calling your sister? maybe connecting with her can help you self ground. I also

Pick a color and look around and see how many things I can find, It just distraction tool....

What can you see in front of you?

Apr 17, 2020, 08:32 PM

My sister just forwarded to me a letter she received from my father's assisted living facility. Part of it reads:

"As of today, out of 94 residents, one resident who tested positive for COVID-19 is being cared for in the [facility]...Three residents who tested positive are being cared for at the hospital and currently stable. Out of 73 employees, 3 have tested positive and 6 are awaiting test results. All of the employees have been off the premises and recovering at home."

This scares the heck out of me! I told my sister that we might reconsider leaving our dad there through May. If only we could get dad tested to know, but tests are limited, unlike they were in countries like South Korea. My brother is at high risk given his congestive heart failure, so I wouldn't want Dad returning home to be with my brother, if he were to be positive for covid 19. He can't go to my sister's house for a couple reasons, including because her house is a hoarding house. My house is clean and neat and I have a spare bedroom, but the thought of having such a responsibility is rough. I don't think my husband would be happy with the idea. We have to really think about this.

My state is one of the hardest hit, after NY. Other states are likely just getting started around the country. Any state's governor that thinks this is almost over is deluding themselves. They need a therapist.

More New Yorkers are dead from covid 19 than died on 9-11. This is not a New York virus. It's everywhere.

Blue_Bird · Apr 17, 2020, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Can you stop and do some breathing exercises? often times when I am in a panic attack I jump in the shower, sometimes just the feel of the water and the sound soothes me.. How about calling your sister? maybe connecting with her can help you self ground. I also

Pick a color and look around and see how many things I can find, It just distraction tool....

What can you see in front of you?

Yes I called my sister and she tried to calm me down which helped a bit. I afraid to take a shower because I’m a little dizzy but I am doing breathing exercises right now and might play a game to distract me

Thank you!

~Christina · Apr 17, 2020, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Yes I called my sister and she tried to calm me down which helped a bit. I afraid to take a shower because I’m a little dizzy but I am doing breathing exercises right now and might play a game to distract me

Thank you!

Glad you called her

yes distraction is needed !

~Christina · Apr 17, 2020, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My sister just forwarded to me a letter she received from my father's assisted living facility. Part of it reads:

"As of today, out of 94 residents, one resident who tested positive for COVID-19 is being cared for in the [facility]...Three residents who tested positive are being cared for at the hospital and currently stable. Out of 73 employees, 3 have tested positive and 6 are awaiting test results. All of the employees have been off the premises and recovering at home."

This scares the heck out of me! I told my sister that we might reconsider leaving our dad there through May. If only we could get dad tested to know, but tests are limited, unlike they were in countries like South Korea. My brother is at high risk given his congestive heart failure, so I wouldn't want Dad returning home to be with my brother, if he were to be positive for covid 19. He can't go to my sister's house for a couple reasons, including because her house is a hoarding house. My house is clean and neat and I have a spare bedroom, but the thought of having such a responsibility is rough. I don't think my husband would be happy with the idea. We have to really think about this.

My state is one of the hardest hit, after NY. Other states are likely just getting started around the country. Any state's governor that thinks this is almost over is deluding themselves. They need a therapist.

More New Yorkers are dead from covid 19 than died on 9-11. This is not a New York virus. It's everywhere.

Im so sorry to read this

This is a huge problem... My Gov said yesterday anyone that wants a test can get one.. I am certain that testing is going to be available for nursing and assistive living home for staff and patients..

A person could test negative today but positive tomorrow ... I think most in the medical field are advising people to not rush to bring family members home because it could pass it along to many many more people.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Apr 17, 2020, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I took my new med about 40 minutes ago and am having a panic attack because I’m scared I’ll die from it

Sorry you're scared. Which med is it? (I haven't been up to date with this thread.)

If it makes you feel better, pharmacists will refuse to fill a medication if they know there is a sizable risk of an extreme adverse reaction like death, paralysis, etc.. Heck, there were some recent questions about whether or not an anti malaria drug could cure COVID-19, but because it resulted in even a small percentage of deaths (I forget which country it was in, but it might've been in the U.S.), the FDA shut that option down immediately. Usually the FDA gives leeway on emergency meds like that considering the mortality rate of that drug is lower than the mortality rate of people on ventilators who were taking it, so that's saying how serious the U.S. takes things. We do not compromise. So a med that is inherently dangerous would be shutdown before it could even make it to market. The U.S. is VERY strict with meds and often rejects meds that other countries use because they deem the risk of adverse effects to be too high. We have high, high standards.

I suppose in theory that any med can technically cause death, but the risk for meds on the market causing that kind of effect is so insignificant that I think it's virtually nonexistent. As I said, the U.S. would ban it completely if it were truly bad. Lots of drugs have clinical trials that can last 10-15 years, so they are well studied and lethal conditions like SJS are warned about upfront, if the med has a decent risk of causing it.

More info: The State of Clinical Research in the United States: An Overview - Transforming Clinical Research in the United States - NCBI Bookshelf

Victoria'smom · Apr 17, 2020, 09:05 PM

I slept last night! I woke up mad and I'm still mad. My mom came over to try to even out my hair. She was very negative about my most recent purchase. So I looked at getting a new puppy all day! I'm not getting one right now! I have my dog. My son may get an animal. We're looking at a pomsky for him. He doesn't feel the family dog loves him as much as she loves me and that she's my dog not his.

Blue_Bird · Apr 17, 2020, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sorry you're scared. Which med is it? (I haven't been up to date with this thread.)

If it makes you feel better, pharmacists will refuse to fill a medication if they know there is a sizable risk of an extreme adverse reaction like death, paralysis, etc.. Heck, there were some recent questions about whether or not an anti malaria drug could cure COVID-19, but because it resulted in even a small percentage of deaths (I forget which country it was in, but it might've been in the U.S.), the FDA shut that option down immediately. Usually the FDA gives leeway on emergency meds like that considering the mortality rate of that drug is lower than the mortality rate of people on ventilators who were taking it, so that's saying how serious the U.S. takes things. We do not compromise. So a med that is inherently dangerous would be shutdown before it could even make it to market. The U.S. is VERY strict with meds and often rejects meds that other countries use because they deem the risk of adverse effects to be too high. We have high, high standards.

I suppose in theory that any med can technically cause death, but the risk for meds on the market causing that kind of effect is so insignificant that I think it's virtually nonexistent. As I said, the U.S. would ban it completely if it were truly bad. Lots of drugs have clinical trials that can last 10-15 years, so they are well studied and lethal conditions like SJS are warned about upfront, if the med has a decent risk of causing it.

More info: The State of Clinical Research in the United States: An Overview - Transforming Clinical Research in the United States - NCBI Bookshelf

Thank you, I really appreciate this, that’s good to know. The medication is Trilafon (perphenazine) I pretty much always panic whenever I start new meds , I was thinking earlier that my pharmacist probably wouldn’t have filled it if there was any risk or problems with it in combo with my other meds. I’m glad to know they’re very strict about things

bpforever1 · Apr 17, 2020, 11:16 PM

I am doing well. I have a job, food to eat, place to sleep, and clothes to wear. I feel blessed and know I must continue to take care of myself and work. I thank God for His blessings!! I am tired yet stable because of my medication. I am thankful for this and all the good things that have been bestowed upon me. I was down and out, now am up and about. Life is a journey, not a destination. I will take this current road and make the best of it!!

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

My moods are still off. I took 2 Xanax and a visteral today. I just stopped getting news updates. This whole high libido thing I’ve been having lately is especially bad today. There’s not much I can do about it though. I’m trying to not email my therapist this weekend.

Hang in there, MD. This will pass...

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I did a meditation just now

(for beginners)

I feel much calmer. Thank you to the friend who sent me the link

Good job, Fuzzy!!

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Been in bed all day. Crazy dreams off and on. Watching tv. No exercise. Bowl of chicken and rice soup. Just feel like a worn out dish rag. Muscles atrophying. Meh.

Maybe see if you can get yourself up and go for a little walk?

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I took my new med about 40 minutes ago and am having a panic attack because I’m scared I’ll die from it

Oh, I am so sorry Blue_Bird. Breathe, just try to take deep breaths, one after another...

I hope you made it through all this okay,

Hugs!!!

bpcyclist · Apr 17, 2020, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My sister just forwarded to me a letter she received from my father's assisted living facility. Part of it reads:

"As of today, out of 94 residents, one resident who tested positive for COVID-19 is being cared for in the [facility]...Three residents who tested positive are being cared for at the hospital and currently stable. Out of 73 employees, 3 have tested positive and 6 are awaiting test results. All of the employees have been off the premises and recovering at home."

This scares the heck out of me! I told my sister that we might reconsider leaving our dad there through May. If only we could get dad tested to know, but tests are limited, unlike they were in countries like South Korea. My brother is at high risk given his congestive heart failure, so I wouldn't want Dad returning home to be with my brother, if he were to be positive for covid 19. He can't go to my sister's house for a couple reasons, including because her house is a hoarding house. My house is clean and neat and I have a spare bedroom, but the thought of having such a responsibility is rough. I don't think my husband would be happy with the idea. We have to really think about this.

My state is one of the hardest hit, after NY. Other states are likely just getting started around the country. Any state's governor that thinks this is almost over is deluding themselves. They need a therapist.

More New Yorkers are dead from covid 19 than died on 9-11. This is not a New York virus. It's everywhere.

Obviously, that is extremely concerning, but the rate is quite low in that facility, as you know. Do you confidence that they are up to snuff on PPE and precautions and stuff?

Wild Coyote · Apr 18, 2020, 02:33 AM

A Warm Hello to All,

Thank you for your inquiries. I deeply appreciate hearing from so many thoughtful friends. I will need more time to respond. It's much easier for me to respond here for now.

I have been taking some time away. I have been dealing with a case of shingles. Along with the rash, systemic illness can occur. I am feeling much worse thus far, which is not unusual.

I am, however, sure I am a week closer to a resolution for which I am grateful..

Love and Gratitude to All

Shingles - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

Wild Coyote · Apr 18, 2020, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My sister just forwarded to me a letter she received from my father's assisted living facility. Part of it reads:

"As of today, out of 94 residents, one resident who tested positive for COVID-19 is being cared for in the [facility]...Three residents who tested positive are being cared for at the hospital and currently stable. Out of 73 employees, 3 have tested positive and 6 are awaiting test results. All of the employees have been off the premises and recovering at home."

This scares the heck out of me! I told my sister that we might reconsider leaving our dad there through May. If only we could get dad tested to know, but tests are limited, unlike they were in countries like South Korea. My brother is at high risk given his congestive heart failure, so I wouldn't want Dad returning home to be with my brother, if he were to be positive for covid 19. He can't go to my sister's house for a couple reasons, including because her house is a hoarding house. My house is clean and neat and I have a spare bedroom, but the thought of having such a responsibility is rough. I don't think my husband would be happy with the idea. We have to really think about this.

My state is one of the hardest hit, after NY. Other states are likely just getting started around the country. Any state's governor that thinks this is almost over is deluding themselves. They need a therapist.

More New Yorkers are dead from covid 19 than died on 9-11. This is not a New York virus. It's everywhere.

This must be very frightening.

My state's governor had asked families to move family members home if possible. Of course there's some degree of risk often involved. Hopefully, the State Health Commissioner and his/her "team" will be able to assist families with these types of decisions.

Whatever the decision, I hope and pray you and yours will all continue in good health.

Menu

Bipolar check in #45

My Support Forums