[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Would the delay have anything to do with the holidays? It seems like for many people the last 2 weeks of the year are check out time.

It could be to a degree, right now, but there was already a delay before the holidays. We were supposed to have the closing on December 18th. Then on December 21st. Neither happened. So I suppose they could use the holidays as an excuse for yet a longer delay. In any case, today our real estate lawyer requested the closing happen on January 4. If that date is not met for the closing, the buyer would be responsible for financial penalties.

I do think the buyer wants to close. Apparently, he even took over the utilities for our house (a very confusing thing to learn and a part of our realtor's miscommunication with us). A buyer is not supposed to do that before a closing. In any case, I think there must be something amiss with the buyer's mortgage company. That, or his mortgage company and his real estate lawyer or realtor.

A little over a week ago, our realtor offered (through the buyer's realtor) that the buyer can keep some of our furniture. Our realtor said the buyer stated that he did want it. That offer was not supposed to be made at that time because we wanted to use that furniture for possible bargaining chips. Our realtor sort of screwed up on that. In any case, we left the furniture without the "bargaining chip" option. Hopefully, the buyer won't change his mind about any of the furniture pieces we left. If he does, that would be a pain in the butt since we'd have to arrange for someone to remove it.

The buyer's lawyer communicated that the buyer wanted $1,000 for mold remediation. We are hoping the left furniture "pays" for that. If not, we'll have to reduce the selling price by that amount. We are still yet to know what the heck is expected. Poor, poor, communications! In any case, we did tell our lawyer

I just want this to be over with!

We probably wont want to go to Europe until after January 10th. Apparently the whole of Czech Republic is in extreme lockdown until MAYBE then. We have an almost unfurnished place to live in CZ until maybe 2 months from now (but can stay with Hubby's sister), but apparently no hotels are even open in Czech Republic. None! With such an extreme lockdown, it's best for us to stay in the US for the time being.

[Moose72]

I'm going to attempt to cook chicken wings in my air fryer for dinner tonight. It seems simple but complicated at the same time. You should shake the wings at some point and put the sauce on after they're cooked. I think. Does anyone here have an air fryer and have cooked chicken wings? My fryer has two controls: timer and temperature.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel pretty good today. Group went well. I participated as usual. I only have 2 groups and I am not exhausted afterwards. I know mental health support and therapy in general can be exhausting for a lot of people but I am in a good mood afterwards and I feel like I was productive and I always want to do stuff afterwards. I went to go to the grocery store. I didn’t find what I was looking for and it was a bit crowded so I was in and out. But yeah today was good. I’m taking my increased Xanax and my increase in Geodon and so far I’m not having any side effects. The Xanax makes me super chilled out but I can still function. It’s also helping me be more relaxed in general and I’ve noticed a difference in my panic issues when I went to the store yesterday and today. Usually I’m on edge and on guard when I’m out of the house. But these last 2 days I was fine.

I’m hoping to be done with the program fairly soon so I can get back to therapy. I will have been in the program 3 weeks Tomorrow and I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress and I learned skills and also got my meds adjusted as well. I feel like I’m in a better place then I was 3 weeks ago. I do still think individual therapy is what I really need.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm so sorry, wfc. Maybe time for a med adjustment?

Thanks Beth. I’m not sure. I must admit I’ve been a “bad girl” and cut my lamictal dosage a few months ago back to my regular 200mg dose. I like to take the least amount of meds possible when I am stable so that’s why. Especially lamictal as max dose is 400mg. So for now I think I’m going to take it upon my self to go back up to 300 and see how it goes. I hope I don’t get the horrific nightmares I got last may. Those were terrifying and made me afraid to go to sleep.

I took a more Xanax Than I was supposed to a couple of hours ago. 1mg all at once instead of .25 12 hour apart. I fell asleep and now I’m a little shaky and unsteady and slurring a bit. Hopefully it will wear off more by the time RS gets home. I ate a little bit but nothing good and my stomach is a little upset again, but that’s been happening for weeks now no matter what I eat. And no, I’m not pregnant, believe me I checked.

I can’t get into my pdoc until Jan 19 so I’ll just ride it out and hope it passes quickly, sometimes it does in a couple of days.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I'm going to attempt to cook chicken wings in my air fryer for dinner tonight. It seems simple but complicated at the same time. You should shake the wings at some point and put the sauce on after they're cooked. I think. Does anyone here have an air fryer and have cooked chicken wings? My fryer has two controls: timer and temperature.

I cooked steak one time in mine. Yeah you have to shake a lot of things or flip them over. But I just set mine at half the time, flip them over, then set the timer for the rest of the way. It’s pretty easy though and things taste amazing. I usually just make frozen chicken nuggets and frozen fries in mine.

[Sunflower123]

My daughter is visiting. She’ll be here New Year’s Eve. That will be nice. I need to do some minor straightening up and I’m fixing dinner tonight but I am literally bent over with seriously bad stomach pain. It really hurts and it’s ruining everything. I guess I’ll try to ride it out. Mind over matter.

Hugs to all those that are struggling.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel pretty good today. Group went well. I participated as usual. I only have 2 groups and I am not exhausted afterwards. I know mental health support and therapy in general can be exhausting for a lot of people but I am in a good mood afterwards and I feel like I was productive and I always want to do stuff afterwards. I went to go to the grocery store. I didn’t find what I was looking for and it was a bit crowded so I was in and out. But yeah today was good. I’m taking my increased Xanax and my increase in Geodon and so far I’m not having any side effects. The Xanax makes me super chilled out but I can still function. It’s also helping me be more relaxed in general and I’ve noticed a difference in my panic issues when I went to the store yesterday and today. Usually I’m on edge and on guard when I’m out of the house. But these last 2 days I was fine.

I’m hoping to be done with the program fairly soon so I can get back to therapy. I will have been in the program 3 weeks Tomorrow and I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress and I learned skills and also got my meds adjusted as well. I feel like I’m in a better place then I was 3 weeks ago. I do still think individual therapy is what I really need.

That's all great news, Md! So what are 1 or 2 skills you've learned from group?

[Mountaindewed]

I got an email from my case manager half an hour ago asking me to sign something that said we discussed my treatment goals and that I’m working on them.

I hope that’s a good sign that I’m almost done. I don’t want to be pushy though and just say “I think I’m ok to return to normal life.” because they may think I need to work on more things and stay in the program longer. I’ll do whatever they suggest. I’m sure there are people who are not as enthusiastic as I am about leaving program. When I was in a child’s PHP when I was 13 I was scared to leave program so I did whatever I could to stay.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

...So for now I think I’m going to take it upon my self to go back up to 300 and see how it goes. ...

I think that's a smart idea. Hopefully it'll break the depression cycle.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That's all great news, Md! So what are 1 or 2 skills you've learned from group?

I learned what grounding is. I learned this type of breathing where you breathe in for 3 seconds, then let it out for 3 seconds. I learned that a thought is just a thought. One of the big ones I learned is that if I’m having a negative thought or feeling if I wait about 15 minutes it will most of the time pass.

The med increases are helping and I was able to get onto a better sleep schedule by going to bed at the same time, putting my phone away at night, and using the deep breathing I learned and using my weighted sleep mask and weighted blankets and my other sensory stuff every night instead of just some nights.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My daughter is visiting. She’ll be here New Year’s Eve. That will be nice. I need to do some minor straightening up and I’m fixing dinner tonight but I am literally bent over with seriously bad stomach pain. It really hurts and it’s ruining everything. I guess I’ll try to ride it out. Mind over matter.

Hugs to all those that are struggling.

Enjoy your time with your daughter, Jennifer! I hope your stomach pain eases soon.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I learned what grounding is. I learned this type of breathing where you breathe in for 3 seconds, then let it out for 3 seconds. I learned that a thought is just a thought. One of the big ones I learned is that if I’m having a negative thought or feeling if I wait about 15 minutes it will most of the time pass.

The med increases are helping and I was able to get onto a better sleep schedule by going to bed at the same time, putting my phone away at night, and using the deep breathing I learned and using my weighted sleep mask and weighted blankets and my other sensory stuff every night instead of just some nights.

These are great coping skills! All have been helpful for me over the years, particularly the grounding and the concept that negative thoughts can and do pass. I mean, how many of us have felt the world sucked one minute and then with just a single change things can look different. I guess that's where the old saying "This, too, shall pass." comes from. I also think challenging cognitive dysfunctional thoughts (CBT tool) and several DBT coping skills also drive that home.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I learned what grounding is. I learned this type of breathing where you breathe in for 3 seconds, then let it out for 3 seconds. I learned that a thought is just a thought. One of the big ones I learned is that if I’m having a negative thought or feeling if I wait about 15 minutes it will most of the time pass.

The med increases are helping and I was able to get onto a better sleep schedule by going to bed at the same time, putting my phone away at night, and using the deep breathing I learned and using my weighted sleep mask and weighted blankets and my other sensory stuff every night instead of just some nights.

That is all great stuff! I also find the breathing exercises so helpful. I like that I can use them any time and anywhere I need to.

Your sleep situation sounds amazing.

[*Beth*]

A frustrating day. I'm on SSDI because of a mental illness that prevents me from being able to work. I take a lot of medication because I need to. I hate it, but the truth is that doesn't take much stress for me to completely fall apart. 58 years of carrying this burden has weakened me in many ways. A few people know of my situation, so please!! Respect my boundaries! Don't expect me to "make an exception" for you because you are special and demand that I help you out beyond what I can reasonably do. Despite many years of trying I cannot get my husband, for example, to respect my limitations. Enough is too much. Please don't make me feel like I'm failing...I'm already beating the shite out of myself as it is...and working hard in therapy to learn NOT to! Ugggghhh (this is most definitely NOT about anyone here).

Due to completely coming unglued this afternoon I fell asleep and missed the chat I've been waiting for all week.

[Nammu]

My son in law is in the hospital. Something is wrong with his intestines. They transferred him to a larger city with more intensive services. My daughter can’t be with him because of covid but has a babysitter and is driving tonight to be there near him. Please send healing vibes to my son in law tonight.

Originally Posted by Nammu

My son in law is in the hospital. Something is wrong with his intestines. They transferred him to a larger city with more intensive services. My daughter can’t be with him because of covid but has a babysitter and is driving tonight to be there near him. Please send healing vibes to my son in law tonight.

Will keep you and your family in my thoughts tonight, sending positive energy your way. We are here if you need us, godspeed to his recovery.

Originally Posted by BethRags

A frustrating day. I'm on SSDI because of a mental illness that prevents me from being able to work. I take a lot of medication because I need to. I hate it, but the truth is that doesn't take much stress for me to completely fall apart. 58 years of carrying this burden has weakened me in many ways. A few people know of my situation, so please!! Respect my boundaries! Don't expect me to "make an exception" for you because you are special and demand that I help you out beyond what I can reasonably do. Despite many years of trying I cannot get my husband, for example, to respect my limitations. Enough is too much. Please don't make me feel like I'm failing...I'm already beating the shite out of myself as it is...and working hard in therapy to learn NOT to! Ugggghhh (this is most definitely NOT about anyone here).

Due to completely coming unglued this afternoon I fell asleep and missed the chat I've been waiting for all week.

I'm sure all the chat participants will understand, what's important is that you needed some rest and managed to get some.

I hope things get better in terms of those close to you respecting your boundaries, it's extremely frustrating when you perceive your support network as not listening or caring. I hope that one day we get an update about how things are better then they were on that front.

I was able to join chat at the very end (wasnt home to join on time), we will have to say hi to each other next week if we can both make it.

I really hope you don't beat yourself up too much over missing chat, we'll just have to make it twice as good next week.

Hope your feeling a little bit better after your nap.

[Soupe du jour]

Nammu, I am sending healing vibes and great strength for your son-in-law, daughter, you and all your family.

[MuddyBoots]

Your son-in-law is in my thoughts, Nammu. I hope the hospital helps him out and he has a speedy recovery

[MuddyBoots]

The skiing was great yesterday! I'm ashamed to admit I'm a bit sore ahaha. Hot shower is in order for today.
I hate being up this early. It's still pitch black outside. I've been up for almost two hours too. Fell asleep pretty much as soon as I got home so I still got 7ish hours.

[unlived]

Happy New Year all. Clock just ticked over to 2021 here in Australia.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by unlived

Happy New Year all. Clock just ticked over to 2021 here in Australia.

Happy New Year, unlived!

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby and I will head north in Alabama. We had museums we wanted to visit there, but most will be closed for the holiday. We might just go and look at their surroundings, anyway. It's a rainy day here, though. I wish I could just lazy about, but I can't.

My brother-in-law in Czech Republic has covid-19 right now. I wish him a speedy full recovery. He has been separated from my husband's sister for years, but they never divorced. Many in the family criticize his ways, and alcoholism, but he was always very pleasant to me.

[wildflowerchild25]

I felt very distressed again last night. I took more Xanax. It was all I could do. I should have taken a hot shower but well my “instruments” are in the bathroom. I thought if I went in there for too long....

I woke up late and unsteady this morning. I just woke up twenty minutes ago (10am). Stumbled to the bathroom. But I’m up now. Still depressed though.

I will at least put the dishes in the dishwasher and hope to finish my laundry today. RS gets grossed out by dishes that have been sitting for a couple of days. I’m used to it considering the conditions I grew up in. No one ever did the dishes but me (unless I was stuck in a program somewhere). So it doesn’t phase me.

I agreed to take my son to see his bio grandfather on Saturday. NOT happy about it. I’m going to stay long enough for my son to open his presents then feign an excuse to gtfo.

I just wish I knew where this depression is coming from. Must be the holidays. Must be. They don’t usually affect me like this. Not sure what’s different this year.

I’m having nausea issues again. I need to cut down on fatty and sugary foods again and see if that helps.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Nammu

My son in law is in the hospital. Something is wrong with his intestines. They transferred him to a larger city with more intensive services. My daughter can’t be with him because of covid but has a babysitter and is driving tonight to be there near him. Please send healing vibes to my son in law tonight.

You got it, Nammu. Keep us posted.