[Sunflower123]

After over 227 phone calls and numerous attempts at the website I finally got mom an appointment for her vaccine for the 7th. Yay!!! I may be fed up with her but I’m still looking out for her.

I’m at this DreamBuilders Live event this weekend where we envision and create a life we would love. Part of me believes my modest vision could happen and the other part of me is yea right! I’m going to see where a positive mindset, a paradigm shift and brave thinking gets me. What’s the worst that can happen? My life improves? Hhmmm....

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Me too, Fuzzy, me too.

Hugs and respect to you

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

After over 227 phone calls and numerous attempts at the website I finally got mom an appointment for her vaccine for the 7th. Yay!!! I may be fed up with her but I’m still looking out for her.

I’m at this DreamBuilders Live event this weekend where we envision and create a life we would love. Part of me believes my modest vision could happen and the other part of me is yea right! I’m going to see where a positive mindset, a paradigm shift and brave thinking gets me. What’s the worst that can happen? My life improves? Hhmmm....

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

Yay on the appointment! DreamBuilders sounds cool. I've not heard of it before.

[leomama]

I had to confiscate my daughter’s keys a week ago and I’m heartbroken . I’m in a deep depression. I’m back in therapy, not back on medication. My doctor thinks I can handle it without medication but is willing to prescribe.

[~Christina]

Im hopelessly behind, Sorry Guys.

My daughter has been exposed to Covid over and over this month due to work. Well she woke up with a bad headache, sore throat and cough this morning. She went for a test, she knows she has Covid but results in 2 days. I am stressed like crazy she's 750 miles away. Her Father is 30 mins away so I know he will get her anything she needs.

I'm still not doing well, Its just Bipolar doing its thing. I have appt with my Pdoc the 3rd... So eventually things will improve.

Hope everyone is doing well or doing there best.

Be kind to yourselves

[Moose72]

I wrote another poem. Check out my thread here for links to yesterday's and todays. I could use suggestions for the one I wrote today: Now Canst Thou Hear Especially the last stanza. I don't think it "fits".

Except for sitting out in the warm Winter sun in the afternoon and meeting my neighbor's new little dachshund puppy who was too shy to pat it's been another piece of $h!t day.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by leomama

My doctor recently recommended Latuda because it doesn’t interfere with other drugs and I am shocked at the cost. I’m thinking about trying Wellbutrin again despite the side effects.

I took Latuda for a while and saved a lot of money by using the Latuda company coupon. You might want to look into that to see if you can utilize it.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Im hopelessly behind, Sorry Guys.

My daughter has been exposed to Covid over and over this month due to work. Well she woke up with a bad headache, sore throat and cough this morning. She went for a test, she knows she has Covid but results in 2 days. I am stressed like crazy she's 750 miles away. Her Father is 30 mins away so I know he will get her anything she needs.

I'm still not doing well, Its just Bipolar doing its thing. I have appt with my Pdoc the 3rd... So eventually things will improve.

Hope everyone is doing well or doing there best.

Be kind to yourselves

I'm so sorry to read that your daughter likely has covid. Is she low risk (generally healthy, otherwise)? I hope she gets past it soon.

That's good that you have the pdoc appointments coming up. I imagine your daughter's illness is making your moods worse. Sending hugs for you both

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by leomama

I had to confiscate my daughter’s keys a week ago and I’m heartbroken . I’m in a deep depression. I’m back in therapy, not back on medication. My doctor thinks I can handle it without medication but is willing to prescribe.

That was a strong thing to do.


It's good that you have the support from the therapist again and that an option for medication is there.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a terrible night. I tossed and turned all night from nightmares and night sweats. The last one that woke me up in a panic was that a student killed a teacher and it was my fault. In my dream the head of the de escalation team put me in charge the day she was going to be absent. The other floor staff was pissed off because I didn’t deserve it. I couldn’t talk a student down and she killed the teacher right in front of me. I went home and went over and over how I could have stopped it. I thought if I had just tried to get her into a restraint, twisted her arms away from the teacher I could have saved the teacher. But I knew the student was too strong for me and I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I felt like I should have tried though, even though I knew I wouldn’t have been able to.

I know exactly what this represents. It represents the beginning of hell for me of working through trauma.

I feel very out of sorts today. I feel worse knowing RS will likely be gone by midday and won’t return until sometime Tuesday. Only because he works for an HOA and must plow snow. This storm isn’t like the last one, it’s going to be snowing steadily from this afternoon all the way through until early Tuesday morning. That means it won’t be just one pass around and then he’ll be home like last time. He’ll have to continually make passes all day and night. He does get breaks to catch a nap and eat some food so that’s good. But I’ll be alone with my thoughts and my son, who I must put on a face for. It’s so hard to do that.

I guarantee I’ll be off tomorrow and I might be off Tuesday as well. At least there’s that.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I took Latuda for a while and saved a lot of money by using the Latuda company coupon. You might want to look into that to see if you can utilize it.

It’s not that much compared to the cost

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

That was a strong thing to do.


It's good that you have the support from the therapist again and that an option for medication is there.

Thank you. Her lifestyle was disturbing me.

mostly feel depressed, but in turn a lot of it has actually been caused by emotional abuse and neglect from so called supportive people- not so much my mood, though my mood has also been caused by emotional neglect

not much has happened this week in terms of moving forward, not even anything much to be proud of. friday I had a phonecall (I am actually shocked she remembered to call me) and that went pretty well, I got a result that I wanted
but.. that's about it. just sat here wasting my life away really

[Soupe du jour]

It's luckily been fairly uneventful this weekend, for me. Today we got our washer and dryer, but the handyman has to go buy a couple things that didn't come with them. Right now in CZ only people with special business permits can go to places like Bau Haus (like a Home Depot), though one "guest" can join them. Hubby will obviously go and also pick out some new carpet for our bedroom and some area rugs.

Today was a beautiful blue sky day, so we finally got out for a bit of a walk. The neighborhood is very lovely. We also met one of our neighbors, a pleasant woman perhaps my husband's age or a little older. She already knew a bit about us. In places like where we are, news or newcomers goes around, quickly.

During our walk, we encountered a very pretty long-haired blond girl in perhaps her late teens, walking her dog. My husband asked a question about the area and the girl went way beyond the call of duty to describe a nice walk route. After we moved on, I joked that Hubby was instantly in love with her. She was quite angelic, I'll admit. Moravian beauty.

A bit anxious and unsettled. I don't like the changes I am seeing done. But when has my opinion ever mattered? lol Anyway, I'm OK.

[bizi]

189.1 pounds on the scale down 13 pounds since Jan 4th.
yay me!
bizi

[Mountaindewed]

Last night was difficult mood wise. My sleep was also off but I got enough and I didn’t want to get out of bed. I stayed in bed much later than I normally do. This morning I heard the first 20 minutes of Meet The Press and then I had enough and went upstairs to watch TV. I’ve been watching Unsolved Mysteries. I’ve been super hyper sexual for awhile. Which wasn’t a big deal for me until a few days ago when it started to drive me a bit crazy. I am mostly asexual. and I’m not really attracted to anyone but It can still be difficult and frustrating for me to feel like this. So I took a shower since I haven’t taken one in a couple days hoping it would take my mind off things. That did help me feel better. Then I got my new dose of injection. So I’ll see how it goes with that and hopefully I’ll stop being a complete horny moody angry asshole all the time.

My mom went to Home Depot yesterday. And I got a satisfaction survey in MY email box. I did not go with her and she did not use my name or number. I absolutely hate it when stuff like that happens because I don’t know why it’s happening and it scares me. I’ve never ordered anything from Home Depot.

My mom did order me a couple hoodies from Forever 21 for my birthday. One has insects on it. The other one has maps on it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Last night was difficult mood wise. My sleep was also off but I got enough and I didn’t want to get out of bed. I stayed in bed much later than I normally do. This morning I heard the first 20 minutes of Meet The Press and then I had enough and went upstairs to watch TV. I’ve been watching Unsolved Mysteries. I’ve been super hyper sexual for awhile. Which wasn’t a big deal for me until a few days ago when it started to drive me a bit crazy. I am mostly asexual. and I’m not really attracted to anyone but It can still be difficult and frustrating for me to feel like this. So I took a shower since I haven’t taken one in a couple days hoping it would take my mind off things. That did help me feel better. Then I got my new dose of injection. So I’ll see how it goes with that and hopefully I’ll stop being a complete horny moody angry asshole all the time.

My mom went to Home Depot yesterday. And I got a satisfaction survey in MY email box. I did not go with her and she did not use my name or number. I absolutely hate it when stuff like that happens because I don’t know why it’s happening and it scares me. I’ve never ordered anything from Home Depot.

My mom did order me a couple hoodies from Forever 21 for my birthday. One has insects on it. The other one has maps on it.

Ooh, you're lucky, I love hoodies.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

mostly feel depressed, . friday I had a phonecall (I am actually shocked she remembered to call me) and that went pretty well, I got a result that I wanted
but..

glad that you got what you wanted and that she called you.
bizi

[leomama]

Fighting major bipolar depression without medication . Daughter’s off her path, I’m off my path, doctor says alcohol and marijuana is self medication. I think I’m ready to go back on lamictal despite the risks.

[*Beth*]

I know that my friend is lying to herself about her alcoholism, but it feels like she's been lying to me - for many years. Telling me she has this and that health problem, and me wondering why? This friendship is 53 years old! We grew up next door to each other; we were as close as sisters. In my mind I am seeing the tie between us stretch thin. I have to relax and let go, prepare myself, because one of these days she might very well drink herself to death. And ambulances won't keep coming out to pick up a habitual substance user. Eventually, they can opt out.


As for the moment, it's a gorgeous day, sunny and bright. I need to take a walk and dread doing so. I know it will be tiring. My foolish thought is that people are judging me along the way...Why doesn't she walk faster...Why doesn't she lose weight...Why is she wearing that color...? It really is ridiculous to make myself the center of some neighbor's attention. Ridiculous. I'm so tempted to do stretches and ride my stationary bike, yet the walking is so important.

[bizi]

go sit in the sun and bask in the warmth!
later ride your stationary bike!
bizi

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

go sit in the sun and bask in the warmth!
later ride your stationary bike!
bizi

Thank you, bizi - I will do just that!

[Victoria'smom]

Today has been much better.