[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you so much, Lizzie. No, that's not Sid in the photo. I just think the photo is so cute Sid is a tuxedo kitty, so black and white. And sweet and so smart.

Love and hugs to you, too

My cousin has two tuxedo cats. One is 11, and the other is 3 months. Sweet kitties!

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so ****ed next month. I'll be about a week late to get my shot. I'm a couple of days late now. (So not to make it so long). I'm taking my anti anxiety meds but my head's so loud. I slept so crappy. Every time I fell asleep I jolted up and had to do something. I am so tired. Family is coming soon.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm feeling very paranoid lately, it's not good. I have been more productive lately though so that's good. I'm trying to cut back on internet use.
My sister brought me some chocolate peanut butter ice cream today and it's really good!

Anyway, I get my Abilify injection tomorrow.

[Lizzie1813]

Saw these on Instagram. Liked both. 😊

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thanks for sharing those Lizzie

[*Beth*]

Those memes are wonderful! Thanks, Lizzie

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

Saw these on Instagram. Liked both. 😊

Both are great! Thanks for sharing.

[Sunflower123]

I drove to another town 30 minutes away in a hard, driving rain that had cars pulled off the side of the road. I got lost. I had a wonderful time seeing the movie with my daughter although sharing a Coke was not wise as she’s unvaccinated. I got fearful and scared about driving home. Therapy has completely knocked out SI. I hope it does the same for anxiety. I had a good visit. It was good seeing her.

She’s coming down next month to float with me and so I can show her some TLC and cook for her.

I hope everyone has a peaceful week ahead. .

[Polibeth]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Oh that is great you found someone that is at least okay to start with.. Maybe he will get better as you continue to work together?

Have you been settling in well ?

Thanks - I am settling in well. I am really glad I made the move although leaving old pdoc and t after 11 years with both was really hard.

New pdoc will probably be really good to work with. He was very thorough and respectful. He said he's going to keep a close eye on me as he gets to know me better.

[Mountaindewed]

I was so desperate for sleep I took 4 melatonin gummies, 2 80 Geodon, and a 60. Plus a 5th Valium for anxiety. And they didn’t do much. I fell asleep around 7:30 and I woke up at 11:30. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get back to sleep. Lately when I’m up I’m up regardless of what time it is. I don’t want to take anything else because I’m really nauseated. I assume from all the meds.

I just took a zofran. So hopefully that helps with the nausea. I had the pain and bleeding again. It freaked me out so I explained to my mom through text that it was there tonight and that I knew how it was happening but I didn’t want to talkj about it because it was personal but that my 2 doctors and one of my therapists knew. And she said “hopefully we”ll get this fixed soon.

[Lizzie1813]

It’s 1:15 am, and I’ve only gotten about 3 hours sleep. I’ve been sleeping so much better with the Lunesta. I think maybe I’m having trouble because I had a coffee around noon which is unusual for me. Also, I cried a lot yesterday and just felt overwhelmed by my emotions. Maybe that’s part of it, too. I took a couple Benadryl. I’m hoping I’ll get sleepy soon. I hope everyone has a restful night’s sleep.

[Victoria'smom]

Haven't slept, too much to do. My head is to loud.

[Cocosurviving]

“I wish people realized that suicide prevention isn’t always posting the hotline. It’s adequate housing. It’s basic healthcare including dental and vision. It’s affordable living. Proper care in active addiction. Proper care post addiction. It’s everything we need to live.” @feraltakahayato (Twitter)

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[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

“I wish people realized that suicide prevention isn’t always posting the hotline. It’s adequate housing. It’s basic healthcare including dental and vision. It’s affordable living. Proper care in active addiction. Proper care post addiction. It’s everything we need to live.” @feraltakahayato (Twitter)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Excellent quote! So true! Thanks.

[Soupe du jour]

Tomorrow my husband and I will finally get our second covid-19 booster! I'll be so happy, afterwards. To me, it represents more freedom. Something that has been scant for well over a year. I also know that it is a gift to others. It represents caring for others.

My stomach issues are pretty much gone. My sleep has improved, as well. I'm trying to live in the moment, but also look optimistically to the future. A little planning for future things excites me and gives me hope. My growing excitement has also started to excite my husband a bit. I'm glad.

Sending the best to all.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Haven't slept, too much to do. My head is to loud.

I’m sorry you aren’t able to sleep. I hope you get some rest soon.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Tomorrow my husband and I will finally get our second covid-19 booster! I'll be so happy, afterwards. To me, it represents more freedom. Something that has been scant for well over a year. I also know that it is a gift to others. It represents caring for others.

My stomach issues are pretty much gone. My sleep has improved, as well. I'm trying to live in the moment, but also look optimistically about the future. A little planning for future things excites me and gives me hope. My growing excitement has also started to excite my husband a bit. I'm glad.

Sending the best to all.

Happy to hear you are sleeping well. So glad you’re hopeful and excited about the future.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

“I wish people realized that suicide prevention isn’t always posting the hotline. It’s adequate housing. It’s basic healthcare including dental and vision. It’s affordable living. Proper care in active addiction. Proper care post addiction. It’s everything we need to live.” @feraltakahayato (Twitter)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Exactly. And I'd add a few things.

[Mountaindewed]

I ended up eating ramen and a couple candy bars at midnight at then I fell asleep around 12:45 until about 5:30. Then I got up and weighed myself and then I fell back asleep until past 7. I didn’t immediately get into the shower. I watched a bit of TV and I let my mom go first.

Today I feel ok. I went to a couple gas stations before therapy and I got a lot of diet and zero sugar sodas and some zero Gatorade. I went to sonic too for my usual iced teas. I had therapy today and it went well. We talked about the doctors appointments and the surgery. Then we did talk about the transference with my old T. I mentioned the med situations I’ve had in the past and how everything is related to me wanting to lose weight. I mentioned my weighted blanket and my weighted vest. I mentioned my couple oral sensory items and she was fine with that. She asked where I got one of them from. I think from what she was telling me that she knows a bit about this kind of stuff. We talked about the food stuff and I didn’t hold back since she’s switching me anyways. She had me fill out a release of info for the new therapist and said I should be seeing her at the start of September. She was nice but she didn’t really give me help or advice as to why I do the things I do. She just listened mostly. But it’s a lot easier to spill your guts in person to your therapist then to do a session in a closet and try to talk about stuff while family is around. I really hope things don’t close again.

I mentioned how I hate mental health hospitals so I avoid anything to go there. So I often just sleep things off when I take too much meds. She said that is not a good thing to do. I told her I have this theory where you die but continue living in another life because I have no idea how I survived some of my med combinations. I think that freaked her out a bit.

But today went fine and I feel good. I asked her if it was ok if I emailed her once I heard back about my surgery. And she said “absolutely. I’d really like to hear what’s going on so we can discuss it in the next session.”

I really like her but again she didn’t really help me out today since she’s not experienced in the trans or ED stuff. But it was nice that she listened and didn’t show judgement. I hope my next therapist is nice.

[Lizzie1813]

I can’t believe it’s only 2:45. I’m exhausted from not sleeping much last night. I did chores at my cousin’s house and made taco salad and peach cobbler. We enjoyed both. I’d like to do some writing, but my brain is just too tired. I’m afraid to take a nap because it would probably make it impossible to sleep tonight. Not sure what I’ll do for the rest of the day. My sculpting tools were supposed to arrive today, but according to tracking, they’re running late. I hope they show up tomorrow. I need something besides TV to distract me from my painful emotions. I’m thinking about getting an essential oils diffuser necklace with some lavender oil. I thought it might help my anxiety since my pdoc won’t prescribe benzos. I need something because my anxiety is out of control.

[Nammu]

I’m all signed up for my classes at the Y. I hope I can go though with it and not back out. You need to sign up every week as they have limited number of people they take. Between being so out of shape and overweight and not being able to use my hearing aids which makes me completely deaf I’m afraid I’ll back out. My first class is tonight at 6:30. Warm water fitness. Sounds like a perfect intro. Tomorrow it’s aqua Zumba then three days of aqua fitness. Plus I need to use the track to walk longer and longer. Pretty sure the water classes will all be easy on my back. It’s just the awkwardness of being around people plus not hearing them.

[wildflowerchild25]

My grandmother is pressuring me to invite my cousins to my wedding. In her words “they’re adopted so they don’t have any family” and “all other cousins (on my aunts side) are spread across the country”. She’s killing me. She said if it’s a matter of cost she will pay for their plates. But it’s not a matter of cost, it’s a matter of me not getting along with them because they’re not nice people. The older one and his creepy may-December boyfriend can’t be trusted to behave around alcohol. The restaurant is BYOB, and RS’s family doesn’t drink much so I’m not planning on buying a lot of wine. My cousin and his boyfriend will drink over half of it, it’s happened before. They say and do inappropriate things AND the cousin is extremely disrespectful of his mom AND my grandmother. The younger one is just miserable. He would just sit there with his nose in his phone like he does every family holiday. He’s also extremely disrespectful.

I’m really going to try to stand firm. Fact is no matter what happens people are going to be upset. We are having a small, intimate wedding because WE want to. I’m sure people from RS’s side are going to be hurt that they weren’t invited. I do not want them there. And furthermore, I do not want my ex MIL there either. She’s expecting to be invited I’m sure but how weird would that be??? It’s going to be weird enough for my SIL but she’s one of my best friends.

No. I’m not going to get pushed around and I’m not going to get stressed about it. I’ve let people walk over me in an attempt to keep the peace all my life and guess what, everyone still hates each other. One thing I’ve learned in program is I need to start putting up hard and fast boundaries for my own peace of mind.

I was having a great day until I talked to my grandma. I went to the gym, I figured out more stuff for the wedding, I did strength and core training at home…nah I’m not gonna let this bother me. It’s not worth it.

On the bipolar front I’ve been doing well ever since I convinced the dr to put me on seroquel XR. It’s so nice to have a clear mind chemically because I’m able to pinpoint triggers that set off temporary emotions and learn to deal with them appropriately. Life isn’t easy but it’s not a crushing depression or intense mixed episode anymore!

[Lizzie1813]

Another relatable meme

[Lizzie1813]

I feel so bad right now. Earlier when I was cooking at my cousin’s house, my anxiety got really bad. I was dripping sweat. So embarrassing! I hate it when that happens. I’m just sitting here staring at the wall, waiting on bedtime. I hope I can get some good sleep tonight. My heart hurts, but my brain is numb. I can’t even muster the energy and interest to watch TV, which is my best distraction from my pain from missing my son so much. I’m just ready for this day to be over. 😓

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I can’t believe it’s only 2:45. I’m exhausted from not sleeping much last night. I did chores at my cousin’s house and made taco salad and peach cobbler. We enjoyed both. I’d like to do some writing, but my brain is just too tired. I’m afraid to take a nap because it would probably make it impossible to sleep tonight. Not sure what I’ll do for the rest of the day. My sculpting tools were supposed to arrive today, but according to tracking, they’re running late. I hope they show up tomorrow. I need something besides TV to distract me from my painful emotions. I’m thinking about getting an essential oils diffuser necklace with some lavender oil. I thought it might help my anxiety since my pdoc won’t prescribe benzos. I need something because my anxiety is out of control.

There are other meds to treat anxiety besides benzos. Has she ever prescribed one of them? No one should have to struggle with extreme anxiety. And for people with BD anxiety can be a dysphoric mania.