Bipolar check-in #59

Woke up and was unable to breath! I had a terrifying nightmare about my " Uncle" Its been maybe a year since I had one this bad. I came rushing out of the bedroom and telling Steve I need a hug like I desperately needed one. I was already in tears and I still break down in tears.. I HATEEEEEE this! He's been dead for decades but this happens and I wish I could bring him back to life so I could kill him.

I'm trying really hard to shake this off.. Dammit

Wish I could give you some colorful wild dreams to remember!

Oh my! I'm sorry this happens to you. BIG HUGS!!

My feet are killing me! Especially my left one (bottom of foot, mostly heel). I've had intermittent heel pain for months now, mostly when I get up from lying down, oddly as that sounds. I suspect it is heel pain fasciitis. It's been bearable, but we walked 8 km (5 miles) this afternoon and it really aggravated it. I can barely walk right now. I decided to just go to bed. Plus, I'm sleepy. I just woke up from a nap to take my evening meds. I hope to sleep through the night.

We literally walked up a rocky ski hill path and then a long steep dirt road. Then across a field only reaching a road through woods that also had a brook to cross. Someone previously created a makeshift bridge over the brook with a downed tree with a single "rail" added. When we finally reached the road, we still had 2 km to walk to reach our car.

We had a big late lunch, but for dinner we simply ate packaged cookies while in bed in our pajamas.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Woke up and was unable to breath! I had a terrifying nightmare about my " Uncle" Its been maybe a year since I had one this bad. I came rushing out of the bedroom and telling Steve I need a hug like I desperately needed one. I was already in tears and I still break down in tears.. I HATEEEEEE this! He's been dead for decades but this happens and I wish I could bring him back to life so I could kill him. I'm trying really hard to shake this off.. Dammit

A big, warm hug for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour My feet are killing me! Especially my left one (bottom of foot, mostly heel). I've had intermittent heel pain for months now, mostly when I get up from lying down, oddly as that sounds. I suspect it is heel pain fasciitis. It's been bearable, but we walked 8 km (5 miles) this afternoon and it really aggravated it. I can barely walk right now. I decided to just go to bed. Plus, I'm sleepy. I just woke up from a nap to take my evening meds. I hope to sleep through the night. We literally walked up a rocky ski hill path and then a long steep dirt road. Then across a field only reaching a road through woods that also had a brook to cross. Someone previously created a makeshift bridge over the brook with a downed tree with a single "rail" added. When we finally reached the road, we still had 2 km to walk to reach our car. We had a big late lunch, but for dinner we simply ate packaged cookies while in bed in our pajamas.

Don't ignore that heel pain! I don't know if you remember, but I had surgery on the back of my heel and achilles tendon last year. I had pain, then pain that got so bad walking was almost impossible. I still ignored it. By the time I realized I needed medical care it had been 3 years and I was in agony. It was so bad, I had to have surgery. Had I not ignored the pain physical therapy most likely would have helped before it got so bad I needed surgery.

I've been taking the prn Zyprexa and it has calmed my anxiety to bearable. If it keeps helping I will ask my pdoc if I can take it regularly.

I'm thinking about driving around tonight to see the Halloween decorations. I've seen a number of them, but during the day. Be fun to see them at night.

A perfect autumn day, about 70 degrees.

It’s a nice day here too tho not up to 70. When I picked up mum’s meds I stopped by Culver’s for two flavors of the day sundaes and ran the car though the car wash. They are saying this may be the last nice day here. Saw the neighbor outside with her 4 kids playing with bouncy balls.

I got some motivation and watched the first 4 episodes of Project Runway season 1 on DVD. It’s quite a bit different then the newer seasons. I have to see a new a new doctor on Monday. I have to see an endocrinologist. My regular primary can’t prescribe my weekly shots. I hate seeing doctors especially new ones. I hope it goes well.

I took 40mil of Melatoin but I doubt I’ll sleep past 2. Most likely I’ll wake up at midnight for a few hours. I’m thinking of just using my 8 pound weighted blanket and hoping that’s ok.

My ear itched so hard I just jammed my pinky finger in there as hard as I could.

Thank you! I just started it today so we'll see how it goes

That's interesting, I never considered that the nausea could be from the GERD but that's definitely possible

That's great! I'm glad the zyprexa is helping.

That sounds fun, going around and seeing the Halloween decorations

I slept all night and most of the day today. I don't know if it's from my thorazine (I had skipped a day of it and started it back up last night), or the 3rd Covid vaccine I got yesterday or what. But I've been exhausted all day, I literally did nothing but sleep on and off. I started the omeprazole in the morning, so far today I haven't had bad acid reflux but that could just be a coincidence/have nothing to do with it. We'll see how things go over the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to my friend's apartment tomorrow and we're going to watch a bunch of horror movies for Halloween. Looking forward to it

I definitely get sleepy from the vaccines…

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That was my main GERD symptom and since I have started taking protonix for my GERD i have no nausea!

Thank you all. I feel so grateful to be a part of our group, and always happy to meet new people who come here.

Oh Christina, I am so sorry that you have that reoccurring flash backs, night meres....wish I could help. ((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

Christine invited me out to an apple orchard in town that does haunted houses and hay rides. We did both. There were 9 of us between her daughter and her daughter's friends and 3 other adults. None of it scared me though I was mildly annoyed in the haunted barn when I couldn't see and kept banging into walls! The hay ride was very extensive. They've really put a lot into it since I was a teenager. I had fun laughing with Christine. One of the adults had a couple extra tickets so Christine and I got to get in free- usually $47!

So as soon as the sun comes up I look outside (it was a beautiful sunrise this morning btw) and see our driveway, which is basically in a valley, flooded. I go snoop it out and there's like 2 feet of standing water. I had to go out in the water to unclog the storm drain and it is COLD water. All dried off now though
(Edit: now we have a leaky window, not a good day at the Sapiens' household for water!)

My mom suggested I go to the hospital to get an MRI and blood work so I don't have to wait until January (honestly probably at least February before I get any sort of diagnosis) in case it's something serious. I don't want to go because I doubt it's that bad, probably just a combo of side effects and a pinched nerve or something. I wish Risperdal didn't poop out on me so I would know what's new side effects from new meds and what's symptoms of whatever's going on. I feel this weird combo of being hyped up but fatigued at the same time.

I haven't taken a thorazine since yesterday morning and auditory hallucinations/agitation/paranoia haven't been a problem so that's a good sign. I was completely off the valium but I took 2mg last night to help with sleep. It didn't work too well. I get my 3rd Invega injection this week.

Happy Halloween and hugs to all who want them!!!

I don’t know what’s happening. I was perfectly fine wed-Friday. Work even let us go early on Friday, which they never, ever do. I felt great on Saturday morning. I washed some dishes, organized the microwave stand, cleaned the rest of the kitchen, started organizing one of the downstairs pantries…and then I came upstairs for a break and all the energy and happiness drained out of me and I couldn’t get up anymore. Today I only got out of bed because I knew if I didn’t my body and head would hurt all day. Right now I’m sick with anxiety. Just a tight sensation in my chest and stomach in knots. RS went fishing (at 4am!!! He’s crazy!) so It’s just me and my son. I’m so glad we don’t have anything to do today other than trick or treating because I can’t face going out by myself.

When I saw my pdoc on Tuesday we agreed to wait on any med changes since it could have been hormonal. Since I felt fine on Wednesday I figured I didn’t have a problem. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should call Monday and get an earlier appointment or what. I just don’t want this to go too far.

Wfc- Sorry to hear the anxiety is givng you such trouble. I would try and get an earlier appointment if you don't feel any better tomorrow. Like you said, you don't want it to go too far and better to err on the side of caution and if it gets better before the appointment you can always cancel.

Bad Day Check List

1). Have you been eating healthy?

What have you been feeding yourself lately?

Are you hungry right now?

Could you make yourself some food?

2). Are you hydrated?
Do you need some water or juice?

3). Have you been sleeping enough lately?
Do you need to lay down right now and take a nap?

4). Do you need to shower?
Would a change of clothes help?

5). Are your surroundings neat and tidy?
Could you tidy up your room a bit?

6). Have you been in nature recently?
Have you gotten some sunshine?
Could you take some vitamin D right now?

7). Have you moved your body?
Do you need to go for a walk?
Or go for a run?
Would working out help?

8. Have you spoken to someone who can help you work out your thoughts and feelings?
Is there someone in your life that you can open up to and be vulnerable with?

9). Do you need peace and quiet?
Would meditation help?
Or would listening to music help?

10). Do you need to cry?
By Claudia Kai

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My Doctor told me to take a cold can of soda and put on the floor then sitting in my chair roll your foot back and forth not only will the cold help but the motion can help stretch the area.

I'm not surprised your dealing with foot pain after such a long hike. Good for you going. Did you take any pics?

I'm sorry that you hit a wall I would certainly call Pdoc in the morning. Hope things improve quickly

Thanks everyone

No Nightmare last night altho not much sleep. I still feel like that nightmare is draped all over me Not huge Panic like yesterday but I still feel like I want to go to bed and just pull all the blankets over me and just hide.

Check out the song "Love me when I don't" by Pentatonix ( love them) This song is so fitting for me. Maybe you too ?

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday and ready for Trick or Treat