Bipolar check-in #59

What a lovely day You bring up a very good point about enjoying the good days.. The wreath you are planning sounds lovely

I have such a ongoing struggle with Anxiety and I lose my temper quick over dumb stuff

Nothing like I did on Wednesday thankfully. Still guilt on top of the guilt I already have. I have been journaling which is going well as far as dumping contents of my brain out daily or every other day.

Now that fall is here I can't wait to make cold weather food.. First up is Chili !

What are everyone's favorite foods when the weather gets cooler/cold ?

Hugs and Love to anyone in need

Soup! Is my favorite cold weather meal. Hmm I wonder I could find the Moosewood Cookbook online? Mine is packed away downstairs along with my favorite stockpot. Usually once the fall arrived I’d make a huge pot of borscht. I make the most delicious borscht if I may say so myself. I used the moosewood recipe and add a few changes of my own. And always have sour cream to top it off with. It’s sooooo good. Healthy too. 😃

I had a second supper lol 2 street tacos wasn’t enough for me today. I had grilled cheese and tomato soup!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I’ve had a good day. It’s a beautiful sunny fall day, coolish but not cold. This morning I peeled carrots and potatoes, put them in the crock pot with the roast and we ate at 3pm. Had leftover bread pudding for dessert. And oh I’m still in my pjs. What a perfect day. Tonight is some of our favorite PBS shows, call the midwife, grantChester and professor T. There a new season of Baptist. I enjoy my stability and want to mark out the good days so I can remember them when things go wonky. Despite my recent long streak of stability I don’t want to forget that it’s a house of cards and I have to appreciate the good days.

I love Call the Midwife! It's really well done.

I do too! I'm dying for it to get to Netflix. I had read Oct. 15 but that wasn't true. I know there were delays due to COVID but I really want it to get to a platform I can access.

I didn't get up 5 pm. I lost my headphone so I'm getting agitated easily. I leave in two days and we have someone house sitting while we're gone because I am worried something bad will happen while we're gone we'll be gone for about 3 weeks. I really, really don't want to go but that's not an option.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I do too! I'm dying for it to get to Netflix. I had read Oct. 15 but that wasn't true. I know there were delays due to COVID but I really want it to get to a platform I can access.

It's on PBS now. If you get that station you don't have to wait for Netflix.

2 nights without Lamictal. I don't feel anything except maybe a bit more energetic. For a long time I've thought that the Lamictal is causing me to feel depressed and unmotivated. If I still feel okay today (no withdrawal issues) I'm not going back on Lamictal for now. Or ever, hopefully. Perhaps it's a good thing that it wasn't refilled in time for the week-end.

I had no luck getting my haircut today. One stylist and 4 people waiting at both places. I don’t know if I’ll try later or not. I am talking with my doctor through my patient portal. They want me to go in for a UTI test even though I just had one done. I told them about the lifting of the suitcase and how the bleeding had happened after that. I told them I’d go in and give them a sample tomorrow after my other appointment with my therapist. I think this is what happened to Bill Clinton. He let a UTI infection go untreated and it spread to his bloodstream and that’s how he ended up in the hospital. Honestly I’m just exhausted right now mentally and physically and I’m losing my patience with these labor shortages and supply shortages.

I had to return some stuff to Walmart that somehow got huge on me between the time I bought it in august and now. So my mom is at Walmart now but I doubt she’ll be able to find my size because now there’s Christmas shortages so everyone is panic buying Christmas gifts. And all I want is fall clothes that I’d buy for myself for the right now that actually fit.

Edit: I just took a Valium and ate 5 bizarre ume plum flavored Oreos. So I feel a bit better. I’m trying to diet but I don’t think I’m doing it the right way. I mean I’m losing and keeping weight off but I’m just so hungry and crabby all the time because of my dieting. I basically just feel like inhaling a lot of sugar and carbs for some reason.

And yeah they didn’t have the shirts I needed. At Walmart or at Target. I could try platos closet since they sometimes have decent stuff and you don’t get the weirdos that you get at Goodwill. 3 out of 4 times I went to Goodwill I encountered creepy people.

My mom did find some pants she thought would work out. I also found the LGBTQ Kellogg cereal on eBay for $7. I looked all over for that when it was out at stores in June but I couldn’t find it. I looked for like a month.

[QUOTE=~Christina;7133417]Thanks, Christina. I have a small tribute band concert that's coming up before too long. Nothing else comes to mind. I'm supposed to take 2? 3? vacation days before the end of the year (it went to use it or lose it this year). Don't know that that's much of a look forward to, as I don't have any ideas really.

My brain keeps echoing negative things around in a loop. Worst part is that they're true. Like, objectively true. Sigh.

I hope things go well for you today.

Beth do talk to your doctor about quitting the lamictal, like Christina mentioned it is a seizure drug. I tapered of mine. Rather quickly but I did tapper. I’m a believer is less is best but carefully. I don’t recall the specifics but I was on 200. I think I went down to 100 for a week then 50 for two weeks then 25 every other day for two weeks. Whatever I did it was without my doctor. I was just fed up between the flatness and the amount of pills.

Just went to the library and returned some stuff plus picked up my requests. I got the book Misery by Stephen King, never read it or seen the movie. It's 50 degrees outside, nice and cool. It was actually pretty cold in the middle of the night so I had to turn the heat on for a little while.

I have this new coffee table being delivered to my apartment sometime next week, pictured below. Excited because I never had a coffee table for my apartment before

That's one heck of a nice coffee table!

I saw Misery the movie and I'm sure the novel has to be more graphic, though the movie was suggestive enough!

Very nice coffee table!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I'm sorry there is a hold up on your meds being refilled. The reason its bad to go cold turkey off Lamictal is because its a seizure med actually. You should be ok for a few days.. Most providers are off 3-5 days is okay, but if off longer then its best to titrate back up. Call tomorrow and let them know you are totally out. Shame on your provider for not handling this ASAP. Do you know when you will be set up with new Pdoc/ NP ?? I hope its soon

I called that useless pdoc last Monday to tell her I need the Lamictal refill. Despite both the pharmacy and I calling her, she never refilled it. She and I do not get along. I'm hoping like crazy to be able to get an appointment with the pdoc the clinic just hired before I have to see that atrocious woman again.

Beth, I hope too you get a new pdoc. That is so irresponsible of her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Beth do talk to your doctor about quitting the lamictal, like Christina mentioned it is a seizure drug. I tapered of mine. Rather quickly but I did tapper. I’m a believer is less is best but carefully. I don’t recall the specifics but I was on 200. I think I went down to 100 for a week then 50 for two weeks then 25 every other day for two weeks. Whatever I did it was without my doctor. I was just fed up between the flatness and the amount of pills.

Normally, I would speak with my pdoc about the Lamictal, but this new one is unaccessable. She only does telehealth (she's in New Mexico??? Kinda weird; seems they could have found a local pdoc). My next appointment with her is the 30th. I used to see my former pdoc once per week. I know that was unusual, but it sure was helpful. Anyway, I won't have the co-pay for any meds until Thursday.

It sucks that only the crappy mental health professionals have openings and all the good ones have a 12 person waiting list.

That never moves.

I am getting a kitten by November!!! They're sending me pics of the kittens so I can pick out which one I want. I'm so excited, I haven't had one in a couple years. I miss having a cat so much, they're the best!!

Also, I just met with my care manager and she is going to help me get into the ticket-to-work program so I can get a part-time job, my first job ever, and without losing my benefits

Oh good news blue bird! A cat, how lovely. My guy is 15-17 years old and as young as ever. He was just zooming around the house sounding like a herd of horses.

That's very stylish looking with a modern appeal. Looks like it has great design for storage or even artistic item displays. Enjoy!

Getting a new kitty sounds great! I bet he/she will like crawling in the storage area of that new coffee table.

I just had my annual check up with the bipolar longitudinal study people. They are sending me $135. I must've missed a questionair because it's usually $150. Meh!

I'm going to the grocery store with N3 in a bit. I actually wrote a list. That's good. I discovered that my ranch in the fridge expired in 2014!!! YUCK! Guess it's time in general to clean out the fridge.

That's amazing that a cat could be 17 and running around like a herd of horses!

Since my return home from the week away I've done lots of chores, especially laundry. But today I wanted to do something fun, so I baked. For the very first time I baked a Czech Christmas bread called "vanocka". I had made its cousin Easter bread, but never the Christmas one. It was fun but a lot of work. To make it, you have to create a stack of three specially braided layers. A couple photos are attached. I'll post the recipe, with intro and photos, on my blog in early November. That's when avid bakers first start thinking about Christmas baking.

Hubby was cleaning up outside to prepare for the coming cold weather. We're basically saying bye bye to any of the flowers that are still hanging on. We'll continue that task, but tomorrow I have my psychiatrist appointment. I'm going to ask if I can have my Seroquel XR dose lowered. It's time. I'd appreciate a smaller appetite, plus I could do with a little less clocked sleep.