Bipolar check-in #62

I used to participate in a group for people going through ankle and foot surgeries. The admins were the nastiest people ever. Even 2 years after I had participated I got a several day suspension because of a post from 4 years before that violated new rules. I was shocked how NICE admin was on this board when I found it. It made me stop participating in the other over time because I was just sick of being treated badly.

Our mask mandate ended about year ago except health establishments. Our state legislature voted that it couldn't be renewed for general use. Completely stupid. So when we go out we're about the only people wearing masks. Not that we go out. I think the last time I left the house was my last biopsy on the 24th. Wonder if that's part of why I'm depressed? Huh. Our numbers are going down. I'm really hoping that means I can see my therapist soon. I do not like telehealth. I'd pay anything to see my pdoc; I've not seen her in 2 years now.

How did Sydney's day long blood sugar test go?

I made myself bbq chicken for dinner. I'm getting quite sleepy now. I hope I'm not up all night again. Watching Bob Newhart. Pdoc was ok today. Lucky for her she doesn't have covid- just a bad cold. I should take a shower but I don't want to. I will get one tomorrow. Now I'm in bed and it's 8:15. I don't see pdoc until after we are home from WDW.

I actually got good news. I have an interview set for next Tuesday for a peer support specialist position. She seems super nice and apparently she spoke to my old c-worker about me who put in a good word. its all looking good for now. once i get my certification in march i can start if im offered the job. i told her how my freind and i wanted to co-facilitate a WRAP group there and she seemed really excited becasue shes passionate about wrap too!!!!!

I feel extremely agitated today and keep having a lot of thoughts of ending things but I'm trying to distract myself. I just took my night meds and my prn and am hoping to go to sleep and maybe tomorrow will be better.

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I used to participate in a group for people going through ankle and foot surgeries. The admins were the nastiest people ever. Even 2 years after I had participated I got a several day suspension because of a post from 4 years before that violated new rules. I was shocked how NICE admin was on this board when I found it. It made me stop participating in the other over time because I was just sick of being treated badly. Our mask mandate ended about year ago except health establishments. Our state legislature voted that it couldn't be renewed for general use. Completely stupid. So when we go out we're about the only people wearing masks. Not that we go out. I think the last time I left the house was my last biopsy on the 24th. Wonder if that's part of why I'm depressed? Huh. Our numbers are going down. I'm really hoping that means I can see my therapist soon. I do not like telehealth. I'd pay anything to see my pdoc; I've not seen her in 2 years now. How did Sydney's day long blood sugar test go?

Thank you for your support, Rainbow. I so appreciate it.

I had come to a point with telehealth with my therapist that I just would not do it anymore. I managed 1 year of it, but suddenly it had to stop...just no more. Fortunately, at that time my T and I were able to meet in person just when I had reached my limit.

2 years is a long time not to see your pdoc. I have to do telehealth with my pdoc, too, because she's in Washington (used to be in New Mexico).

I have had some experiences in Facebook groups that were really bad. Admins that were vicious, and seemed to relish hurting members. In fact, one experience shook me up so much that I landed in the hospital. I've been very, very cautious about Facebook groups since then. And now I'm anxious about the feline diabetes group, yet I need the admins' expertise.

Sid's glucose levels are usually higher than they should be. I'm working with the vet and with the group admins (I hope) to find a good insulin level so her glucose numbers will stabilize.

I'm sorry, I have really unloaded on you. I've had an...I don't know...odd day.

I believe we're all adversely affected by everything to do with covid - maybe even more than we are consciously aware of. I would not be surprised if it is contributing to your depression. How many days is it until your appointment? I want you to know that I think of you often, I'm hoping for the very best for you, and I'm sending love

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I feel extremely agitated today and keep having a lot of thoughts of ending things but I'm trying to distract myself. I just took my night meds and my prn and am hoping to go to sleep and maybe tomorrow will be better. Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk

I hope your sleep is deep and healing. And that tomorrow is better

@BethRags You are always so kind to every one here.
thank you for that.
((((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I haven’t Been on and I apologize for that, I know many are struggling with terrible things and I’m so sorry for everyone. Know I am sending positive vibes to each and every one of you.

I don’t have much to say. I can’t update my mood as at this time I cannot separate what may be purely hormonal vs what I’ve been feeling for months. I will say I feel better in general. I had terrible anxiety yesterday and today but I really don’t know why and again, attribute it to hormones.

My cats are driving me crazy, I’m afraid either one might be gone by the morning. Cheeto is doing much better but he’s vocalizing a lot more than he used to which concerns me, and he’s chasing the other one all over the damn house at night and she’s limping terribly now, along with wheezing and coughing. I was told she’ll need knee surgery but I can’t afford that. I have to pay for my own medical costs and my son’s summer camp, and this summer I have to start the process of getting his teeth in order. He needs extensive orthodontic work, and not just for looks. The way his teeth are every which way if he doesn’t get them fixed he will run into a lot of jaw and other problems later in life.

So I can’t fix the cat. I am going to call about the asthma though and see if I can’t get her on a nebulizer or at least some sort of rescue medication so I don’t have to watch her go through a terrible asthma attack again. Gosh, that was just AWFUL.

I was really very anxious driving home today, like specifically about the driving, which usually only happens in bad weather to me. But it was actually a decent day temperature wise so I went straight home and walked to pick up my son instead of stopping by in the car. It was a nice 20 minute round trip and I got to chat with him for longer before he disappeared upstairs.

Thank you everyone for so much support . It really means a lot.

Steve is picking his brother up tonight. He flew in from Virginia. I’m glad he’s making it in time.

Cindy has been off the vent and no IV fluids since yesterday around noon.

We are just heartbroken.

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Originally Posted by bizi @BethRags You are always so kind to every one here. thank you for that. ((((((((HUGS)))))) bizi

Oh, geez. Thank you, bizi I just really do care about people.

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I haven’t Been on and I apologize for that, I know many are struggling with terrible things and I’m so sorry for everyone. Know I am sending positive vibes to each and every one of you. I don’t have much to say. I can’t update my mood as at this time I cannot separate what may be purely hormonal vs what I’ve been feeling for months. I will say I feel better in general. I had terrible anxiety yesterday and today but I really don’t know why and again, attribute it to hormones. My cats are driving me crazy, I’m afraid either one might be gone by the morning. Cheeto is doing much better but he’s vocalizing a lot more than he used to which concerns me, and he’s chasing the other one all over the damn house at night and she’s limping terribly now, along with wheezing and coughing. I was told she’ll need knee surgery but I can’t afford that. I have to pay for my own medical costs and my son’s summer camp, and this summer I have to start the process of getting his teeth in order. He needs extensive orthodontic work, and not just for looks. The way his teeth are every which way if he doesn’t get them fixed he will run into a lot of jaw and other problems later in life. So I can’t fix the cat. I am going to call about the asthma though and see if I can’t get her on a nebulizer or at least some sort of rescue medication so I don’t have to watch her go through a terrible asthma attack again. Gosh, that was just AWFUL. I was really very anxious driving home today, like specifically about the driving, which usually only happens in bad weather to me. But it was actually a decent day temperature wise so I went straight home and walked to pick up my son instead of stopping by in the car. It was a nice 20 minute round trip and I got to chat with him for longer before he disappeared upstairs.

Oh, sweetie. Things sound so stressful right now. Having that time in the car with your son...golden.

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Thank you.

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Thank you everyone for so much support . It really means a lot. Steve is picking his brother up tonight. He flew in from Virginia. I’m glad he’s making it in time. Cindy has been off the vent and no IV fluids since yesterday around noon. We are just heartbroken. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you for taking the time to check in when so much is happening. I've been thinking about you all day and sending love

Hi Beth. For now, just CZ. We will also look in France, but I'd like to wait until spring to go there. We do look at online listings to see what's available. Strangely, a lot of the houses in France (excluding ones in cities like Paris or Nice) are better values than ones in CZ. Real estate in CZ isn't cheap, but at least other expenses are more economical. When I compare prices, I also consider New Jersey prices. Or specifically ones in my old New Jersey town. NJ property taxes are the highest in the US. At least in most European countries, where you live doesn't affect the quality of education kids receive as much. And fortunately they're not figuratively burning books like they now are in many US states. Awful!

My psychiatrist doubled my pregabalin (Lyrica) yesterday. He was also pleased that my husband joined me and even asked that he come again next time. I told him that the small dose of pregabalin helped initially with my mood issues, but then leaked through again. Hopefully the higher dose makes a difference. Plus, being home again. I also raved how it's relieved my foot pain and that at the small dose I have zero side effects. Some write about weight gain, but oddly I've had decreased appetite. I'll need to weigh myself to confirm. Hopefully that will continue. When I went to the pharmacy below my pdoc's office, she said I got the last box, that pdoc has been prescribing it a lot. I suspect it may be working better than gabapentin (Neurotin) for many people as both an adjunct moodstabilizer and anxiety reliever. Perhaps in the US it will be prescribed more in the future for these purposes. I have known a number of people with bipolar disorder that also have fibromyalgia. I don't have the latter, but perhaps pregabalin would be a great option for them. Pregabalin indications (incl. bipolar disorder) at Pregabalin - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf

Yesterday I made homemade biscotti for the first time. They're great and pretty low guilt. I must have some sweet each day. Trying to lower my sugar consumption.

Stress over t-appointment today. I don't really know what to tell her.

Just tell her your thoughts and how you’ve been feeling

I would just try to be as honest as you can be.

Im glad you have found relief from some of your symptoms with pregabalin.

And the biscotti sound DELICIOUS!

I think Im beginning to feel the effects of my new meds, just a little bit more. I found myself humming a tune and I properly laughed at my mums dog for being silly. It was nice .
I really hope the meds help as quickly as possible. But at least that is some progress!

So she said I should have my mom take me to the hospital when she gets home. THEY'RE GONNA TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO LIBERTY
but seriously **** her.
and **** theh eliicopters and my cats and the state reps.

I'm sorry to read that you're so unwell, Sapien. If you are getting psychotic and/or having severe symptoms, the hospital is a safe place. Not a jail. They are keeping you there for your safety and intensive treatment to get you well. You'll be able to go home. There is no lack of liberty in getting intensive treatment.

But that's the thing! I'M NOT getting psychotic or having severe symptoms! I just need to get back on meds but my NP won't do her ****ing job!

Sapien

I haven't followed all the posts (yet). I understand what it's like to have a psych practitioner (or several.... ) who repeatedly fail to do their job adequately. It freaking sucks. Is it possible to change practitioners? It isn't easy here. (understatement often )

Hugs and respect to you