Bipolar check-in #63

Glad you're feeling better! I have two black cats and one white/brown tabby cat and they all like clean clothes so no matter what I wear there's cat fur all over it lol.

Sorry you're feeling so shittty. Have you looked up recipes online that might taste a little better? Or you could ask Soupe du jour for some tips I'm sure she knows :P

Yeah. Second season. Completely missed the first season. It’s a short season, I think a total of 6 or 8 episodes. Everything is over on PBS. They are just showing pledge drive special s, most are reruns. I thing the government cuts under T**** really hurt them.

I'm watching Golden Girls on Hulu- from the beginning. It's so funny. I'm actually laughing out loud.

Sounds excellent, @Moose72 !

I’m back in bed, I got back from my friends this afternoon and went straight to bed and slept. I got up and had something to eat now I’m back in bed.
I’m feeling pretty tired. And disappointed about my anxiety levels. I don’t know how I’m going to cope at work
I hope you’re all having a lovely day/night

sending warm healing hugs your way, my friend. What can you do to ease the anxiety some? I like to go for walks though lately I haven't been able to so I took up crocheting and that usually helps in the moment.

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Originally Posted by tentoedsloth I'm doing better. I actually slept AGAIN! Three nights in a row! This is eerie. This was the day I was supposed to increase lamotrigine from 50 mg to 100, the minimum that's effective for me. But I was thinking, if you're supposed to take 25 mg for 2 weeks, then 50 for 2 weeks, then why is it okay to then jump to 100? So, being the worrier that I am by nature, I'm splitting pills and taking 75 for a few days. That's probably doubly ridiculous since I took the stuff for years and never had a bad reaction. Oh well, at least the medication isn't keeping me from being the real me--more cautious than anyone I know. If that's all I can find to complain about things must be pretty good, huh?

I understand your concern, but I think it's fine to go to 100mg. The idea is that your blood level is accustomed to the Lamictal by now, so going from 50 to 100 is okay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tentoedsloth You said it sister. Both of my babies were born in May. That was before 9/11, and one of them was before AIDS--it was still rare when the second one was born. Before school shootings, before I had any notion that I had the family mood curse.... Ah well, at least we had that peaceful time.

Yes, that's true, and a healthy way to view the past. It was a sweet, lovely, and loving time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yeah. Second season. Completely missed the first season. It’s a short season, I think a total of 6 or 8 episodes. Everything is over on PBS. They are just showing pledge drive special s, most are reruns. I thing the government cuts under T**** really hurt them.

I'm doing the free trial of PBS online. I may decide to pay the monthly fee for it. I think it's $5.99.

Thanks for the suggestions @Sapien !
I’m going to go for a walk with the dog just now.
I don’t know how to crochet but maybe learning something like that would be a good thing to do!
Thanks so much for your kind words!

I agree with @BethRags , @tentoedsloth

Hello everyone~

Steve did get home last Tuesday and thankfully had a safe trip.

Snow from Friday is mostly gone thank goodness.

I stepped away from here for a few days as I was finding myself very aggravated. Feeling better.

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the time change. Bring on Spring !

Hugs

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Hello everyone~ Steve did get home last Tuesday and thankfully had a safe trip. Snow from Friday is mostly gone thank goodness. I stepped away from here for a few days as I was finding myself very aggravated. Feeling better. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the time change. Bring on Spring ! Hugs Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am SO glad to hear that Steve is finally home. Welcome back

Our weather is perfect spring weather today. I'm waiting for the orange tree outside of my kitchen window to blossom and fill the air with that glorious scent. I wish you could all feel this weather. Although, "showers" are predicted one night this week, but no real rain So this darn fire-causing drought continues.

Oh, you guys...I am being so lazy today. I absolutely have to mop my apartment. Sleep was not too bad last night, I didn't lie awake for 90 minutes before falling asleep.

My youngest niece (who is only 14 years younger than I am) called me this morning. I was ecstatic! I'm terrible about reaching out to people, especially by phone. We had a wonderful conversation. It brightened my life.

Okay. No more excuses...I'm off to mop. Exciting, no?

Love and bouquets of wildflowers all around

Welcome back! Spring can't come fast enough! Glad Steve made it home

Good on getting some "not too bad" sleep and having a nice conversation with your niece. May your mopping be not too tedious. Sending love back

@Sapien

You sound like me, with the meteorological spring type stuff--do you also track civil twilight? I like to get up then, to not miss any daylight at all. Also with the chemical formula. Kind of a closet scientist. I don't know the formula for my medicine so you have me there.

Also with the hypomania. I just get so happy, except when I get irritable and feel under a lot of pressure. I hope yours is pure pleasure sometimes. I wouldn't mind being that way all the time. People would pay good money for a pill that produced that feeling.

@Pinny

Did the anxiety let up any yet? Mine's like that. It can be really bad and then just go away, for no reason that I know... I'll just suddenly realize it's gone. Best wishes for yours to do that.

@~Christina Welcome back. Glad Steve made it back ok.

@BethRags Your description of your orange tree is lovely. I can smell those flowers- and the oranges- from here!

I do not track civil twilight, I live pretty far north so civil twilight begins at about 4:30 in the summer yet around 7am in the winter and I try to keep my sleep a little more consistent than that. I do like to go to the beach for sunrise in the winter though

Yeah, my hypomania is sometimes pure pleasure but like you sometimes I get irritable and feel overwhelmed by it. If you could bottle the euphoria though and somehow have it not come with addiction or side effects you'd be a trillionaire.

I did something i'm uneasy with now. I applied for a free online therapy program my province is offering in CBT. Just doing the intake stirred me up. They'll probably say i am too sick for their program.

Well, it doesn't cost anything and i don't have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. It's a "therapist guided" program. If accepted, i will be assigned a therapist who will make a customized program for me of weekly reading and exercises and be available for online messaging. The program takes eight to ten weeks with the therapist available for twelve.

I just have very mixed feelings about trying something, because what if it fails like all the other therapeutic endeavors i've tried in the past?

I also feel uneasy with CBT which i have read about on my own as i think it's a human conceit to theorize we are thinking beings who feel, when really we are feeling beings who think. The 'feeling part' of our brain has been around much longer than the 'thinking part.'

But is that just a tidy way of dismissing CBT? It's supposed to be evidence-based, proven empirically over several decades. Anyways, it's free and i have nothing but time and i don't have to talk to anyone or go anywhere, so what does it matter?

Still, i feel anxiety.

Nice to see mental health being prioritized by our provincial government and backed by real dollars. Carl Sagan wrote in his Pulitzer Prize winning book of 1977, "The Dragons of Eden: Speculations on the Evolution of Human Intelligence," that he felt the future of the human race depended on greater co-operation of our left and right brains. And here we have the provincial government endeavoring to do that very thing. It's reason for optimism.

I will just have to tolerate the anxiety about taking the course to teach me how to tolerate anxiety!

I finally got my spring first biterm grades! I got an 84% on my huge paper! A b-I’m so excited! I have an A in all three classes!

Thanks for all the support! School starts back tomorrow

Great work!

Remember I said that girl was inviting me over? She sent me a messege this morning and appologized to me she said she was a liitl tipsy and was feeling lonely. Her so commited suicide a couple of years ago and she found his body. She has not been on a date since them. We agreed to grab a bite her in the next week or so. I might actually go I'm not looking for anything but I would another person to talk to. I am so lonely right now. I spend most of my time in my house getting depressed. I mean for like the last 11 years I have spent almost everyday in this house with my wife. Everything reminds me of her and I tink it is driving me crazy lol. I think after I get the life insurance I might put a little money into this then sell it. I don't know. Thanks for letting me vent

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I think meeting in a public place is a good idea, and I can understand wanting to talk to someone.

Do you have a Salvation Army nearby? You can donate clothes to them and they sell them. You also get some sort of deduction on your taxes when you donate . Just get a receipt. Otherwise, there are clothing donation boxes in store parking lots. Not sure how to tell you to find them.