Bipolar Check-in #75

I saw your 2nd post about the apartment too - that's awesome that you will get it. Must be a huge relief.

I'm pretty anxious

I set a high daily writing (word count) goal to make sure I have my new novel drafted by September.

One of the women I connected with in my writing group seems to have taken a step back from me - I worry that it's because I disclosed I have Bipolar II (her sister, who she doesn't speak to has Bipolar I). But it might just be that she got a new part-time job 20 hours a week so has less time. Another woman in the group, however, became closer to me after I disclosed a mental illness, and it turns out she herself suffers from severe anxiety. She's actually interested in attending a mood disorders support group I go to.

I decided a while back not to hide my mental illness. I just don't know why it should be a secret any more than having epilepsy or diabetes or fibromyalgia. It's not my fault. However, there is a stigma and some people do judge.

I gave in to my nausea and took Gravol. I have been feeling nauseous for ages and I was at the pharmacy today and picked it up. I should have done this a long time ago.

Well it is well and truly hump day! I didn’t get a single biddable hand during the 500 game. 3 hours of play, not a single hand! But it was a nice time nonetheless.

Tomorrow I go to the dealership to get my car checked up and fluids topped. It’s a big deal for me cause it’s more than an hour away and I don’t much drive. So I’m very anxious about the drive. I’m taking the back roads to avoid Rochester which is a nightmare to drive through. On top of heavy traffic there’s a bunch of construction. I hope I can sleep tonight.

I’m screwed and it’s my fault. By the earliest time I can get a refill of my carbamazepine I will have missed 1200 mg worth of doses. Prior to this I’ve stopped sleeping well, 4 hours a night max. I’m too busy and it slipped by me. I hope I don’t seize or slip into hypomania. I cannot miss work tomorrow but can take Friday off if I have to.

Anyone miss a crapload of carbamazepine doses? I take 800 mg a day. I really don’t want to have to explain hypomania to any coworkers as I keep my diagnosis very private.

Hello!
So i just updated my "blog". Right now I...well, I'm trying to fricken rest, but H is whining at me to do more work and I do actually need to cook. So, despite this knee pain, I'm going to go cook now and hopefully get some more rest watching my weekly series finale show tonight. Maybe I'll stick around this time, but we will be hosting guests this summer and doing some traveling...plus i still regularly use social media apps, so, we will see what i have time for.
Well wishes to you all!

Talk to your pharmacy. They'll probably float you a few pills because missing an antii-seizure med can cause seizures.


I was helped out a time or two for that reason when I was on depakote.

Well, I finally had scans without needing a biopsy for the first time since 12/2021. I go back fro more scans in November. It's nice to not have to worry for 6 months.

Yay!

They’re out, that is unfortunately where I’m at.

Oooohhhhh yay! Finally!

I have lost over 40 pounds since I reduced the 625 mgs of Seroquel that was prescribed to me about 13 years ago. I was taking a tablet and a half before that and gained about 25 pounds. Well it started taking a toll on me. I reduced it to 300 mgs before bed. I was still getting undesired side affectd so I started breaking it in half and took that before bed. I started to loose weight continially. Now my weight is close to what it was before I took seroquel. I don't recommend doing this unless your telling your med manager what your doing. I struggle with depression, anxiety, OCD, and panic disorder. Brokenfriend (Hugs)

Feeling a little bit better. Today was a rough day - had to turn a girl away that wanted to live in our house because she failed a drug test. Emotions ran high.

@Brokenfriend I’m sorry you’ve struggled with weight gain and meds, I relate to your feelings about it. Well done for the weight loss though!

@BeyondtheRainbow I’m so pleased you don’t need to go through another biopsy this time!

Today was ok, a bit stressful with work and I’m going to a conference tomorrow (well Im travelling to Birmingham tomorrow, the conference is on Friday).
I had an appointment with occupational health at my work and it went well. They don’t want to see me again for now.

I’m looking forward to Friday and after the conference I found a live music venue to go to, so depending on how I’m feeling, I might check it out!

Great news! So pleased for you.

Wishing you a smooth trip.

For reasons I won’t go into, the past couple of days have been really tough. I am a highly sensitive, tender hearted person and sometimes life events bite hard. I’m glad I’m going to the beach in less than 2 weeks. I’m going to reflect and ponder some things while I enjoy the company of my family. I’ll come back a new woman with a fresh outlook. I’m going to move forward.

The celebration this past Saturday was nice. My daughter and her fiancée were there as well as my niece and her boyfriend, my sister and brother-in-law and mom. The only one missing was my nephew who is deployed. A good time was had by all. A delicious meal and delicious birthday cakes.

The pool opens this weekend! Yay!! My happy place.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Man do I still feel sick. I can't stop coughing and I've been blowing out blood with clots in it. I slept pretty good though.

I ordered a couple books from Amazon that I'm looking forward to getting, and I plan on going to the library to get some others. I've started reading again and I read 2 recently.

I'm still getting a dog I just have to get these health issues under control first.

I'm glad your IOP seems helpful, @Scooter9! And making new friends. I made a handful during inpatient and IOPs, too. Be careful though. A couple turned out healthy and a couple not as much.

I have taken Seroquel XR for several years now. Maybe 9 or 10 years? My doses have been higher than 200 mg during these years, with perhaps my average being 550 to 600 mg. Lower doses can be more sedating than higher, but it's a published thing that doses in the 200 to 300 mg range are targets for bipolar depression. Higher ones more for mania control. The XR version does have many of the same advantages and side effects as IR, but I have always found XR a bit more weight friendly/neutral. Or just more so. I also take some IR with my XR at night for sleep. I didn't always have to. IR knocks me out better because of it's release action. I still take both only at night, unless mania is brewing, then some more is temporarily added to the morning.

I see Seroquel as a "lesser of the evils" antipsychotic, for me. It works fairly well at keeping me stable. Despite some side effects (metabolic effects, some weight gain) it doesn't give me others (particularly movement disorders, akathisia, hyperprolactinemia). Any initial oversedation I experienced years ago eased just fine. It can take patience, though.

I woke up feeling okay this morning. At the end of a 35 minute beginner Pilates video, I started to feel sick to my stomach. I have done that particular video 4 or 5 times in the past without an issue. I ended up throwing up and have no clue what morning psych meds I may have thrown up. I still feel queasy and somewhat “off.”

@Scooter9

I took Seroquel(IR, not XR) for a long time (more than 10 years) from 50 mg up to 400 mg at the highest dose. For me, it was weight neutral. I would in fact like to go back on it. It did have the sedation effect, but I loved that it got me to sleep like that every night (years of insomnia).

I stopped taking Seroquel because I developed cataracts at 44 years old (young to have them, especially one that was stage 4). Seroquel can be associated with cataract formation. However, I have now had cataract surgery, and cataracts don't re-form on the implanted lens, so I really, really would like to be back on a familiar medication even if I have to put up with daytime fatigue.

@Scooter9

I’ve taken seroquel xr on a couple of different occasions for depression. It works well for me, but not for a long period of time. Usually for several months but eventually it gives out. It’s worth a shot thought. I’m not sure about whether I was sedated and I don’t remember how much I took.

I’ve taken 25-100mg of seroquel IR for a few years now for sleep. It is the only thing that helps me sleep and every time I try to go without it I don’t sleep. I try to stay on 50mg bc 100 makes it difficult to get up in the morning.

Hi All,
I've tried for days now to check in and express how I am feeling but end up erasing it all and saying forget it. I'm not doing so great these days and I can't really explain to you why. My therapist dismissed my thoughts about my medicine maybe not being as effective as it once was with the notion my living environment is too stressful.There is merit to both sentiments if you ask me. I'm apprehensive to change dosages/meds anyway -- but I don't think my ability to cope with my living situation is any more "stressful" than it's been for the last 3 years. Perhaps I'm just run down.

IOP hasn't been the best for me. In fact, I missed my individual appointment and left early yesterday from IOP because I just didn't feel up to doing the work anymore that day. Some of it is rather repetitive and a bit juvenile, if not almost hippy dippy. I'm not trying to poopoo all over my IOP group but it really just seems hit or miss.


I've actually in the last two days or so taken up German again. It's a surprise because my mind hasn't been able to focus on anything for a while. I guess that's something to be happy about.


I've been taking my meds as prescribed, but I'm really tired of feeling this way and want to say "screw it, meds aren't worth it". I know how dumb of an idea it is to stop taking meds, especially cold turkey -- I've no plan to do that, but it's a thought that is creeping in more and more everyday. I feel better today than I did the last few -- I did start taking my low dose Seroquel at night for sleep. Perhaps it is helping some? I don't know really.


I still havent made my appointment with my psychiatrist. I gotta get on that, or I'll end up without meds one way or the other.

Well... I've shared all I really wanted to share. I don't feel great. It's where I am. It's just suffer through for now -- no one believes medicine changes are necessary and lord knows suffering is about the only thing I know how to freaking do.


Take care everyone

I went to immediate care. She did a covid strep and flu test. All were fine. She said it was just some kinda virus and told me to take Mucinex DM. Then I went to my gastro doctor appointment after calling ahead and asking if it was ok to come in with a cold. Shes putting me on some other med and raising my antacid and shes checking that level they found in the ER to see if its still high. She checked my stomach and said "does this hurt?" And I said "yeah" I don't know what is there but thats excactly where the pain has been. Then I went to the lab to get the level checked then I came home and took the mucinex which is working ok for my cold but not doing much for my heartburn. The gastro doctor was pretty much like "you're out of luck until your endscopy in August." They did try fitting me in sooner but they didn't have any openings. The nurse at the ER said his friend developed all these sudden nerulogolical issues and was like aggressive and just acting super out of character and they reffered him to an ER neroulogist who was just like "sorry, I have nothing open until September." Yeah they say its just tough getting stuff done now.

I did kind of put my foot down and I told my mom I did not want the kids in the house if they are sick. This is the second time this has happened where my sister and bil claim the kids aren't contagious but they are and my mom and I get sick. I just told my mom I won't deal with it anymore. I don't care if I'm being a jerk. I have boundaries too.

That Mucinex DM is good stuff. I took a dose a couple hours ago then I just now was able to blow everything out and I can breathe again.

I’m back. The back roads were great. The instructions were hit or miss though, I managed to get there on time though I went off my gut. I can’t follow navigation on phones because of my hearing and my maps were decades out of date. I just picked back roads that went the general direction I wanted to go and it worked! Much less upsetting than taking the main interstate and highways that are always on the news with crashes. So I successfully went out of my comfort zones and survived! Yay! Rewarded myself with a sundae.

Thank you @Soupe du jour, @Blueberrybook, and @wildflowerchild25 for sharing your experience with Seroquel, it's reassuring that you found it helpful. I hope it works for me as well.

I got up at 330am again today, so that's just 5 hours sleep when I usually get 9 hours. I took 50mg Seroquel XR a couple of hours before bed but I guess it's not enough. I go up to 100mg on Saturday.

IOP was good today, lots of sharing and good conversations.