Bipolar Check-in #75

Good for you by breaking down the problem into smaller, more manageable parts! Way to go!

I'm trying the same thing with stuff I need to get done.

Correction of the above:
I see now that I posted my post without marking some letters. It must have been difficult to find meaning in my post when the marking was missing out. I have corrected that above. I did follow the STOPP exercises and did work in the living room in parts. I have more to do in the living room tomorrow. The whole procedure helped me out of my "statue feeling".

@Scooter9 Thank you so much for your response. Yes, it helps to break into manageable parts!

Hey All,
Doing OK today. IOP is ending in a few weeks and I'm really ready for a break. 4 days a week of therapy (10 hours) is a lot. We have been spending a great deal of time talking about grief. It's kind of an interesting topic. I enjoy gaining insights and perspective from IOP, so I don't mind this topic so much.

Nothing planned for today -- a little bored, will probably go walking. Hope everyone is doing well.

Brent

Well, it's the last day of May and no hint of hypomania! In my adult life i have only skipped Spring hypomania only one other time, in 2020 when COVID anxiety was at it's peak, and even then i got a 'boost' for a week or ten days. This year, nothing. I'm so grateful! I miss the euphoria but not the overspending, shameful hypersexuality and other inappropriate behaviors. Will i never have a hypomanic episode again? I *am* in menopause now after all and not taking anti-depressants... ?!

I got a sign i'm doing well for sure today when the plants for the gardens around my building arrived. At this time last year i was bothering the condo Board with annoying emails about my grandiose ideas for the gardens, and here the plants have arrived this year without a single foolish email! Doing well!

Got a phone call this morning! I sign paperwork tomorrow to move in to the senior high rise. I was so overwhelmed by the sudden move in date that I went to the senior center and played500. Badly. I was so distracted. But still I did ok. Can’t believe I move so soon, totally not ready. But the good thing is I can take all month to move in. Sir will be the very last thing I move.

I’m thinking of you and hoping it all goes smoothly.

I’ve made an appt with my
PCP about my hearing as it’s getting more difficult to understand people. Anyone had a hearing test?

I have had the most stressful, frustrating day. I’m trying to get mom and I packed and ready to go to the beach for 2 weeks with my daughter and sister and every single thing has gone wrong. I try to have an attitude of gratitude generally but it’s seriously lacking today.

I have been to the pool to float. Ice cold and really unpleasant. Will try again when I return home.

Speaking of beaches, I keep seeing shark videos where the sharks are near shore along the panhandle where I’m headed. 3 of them were filmed in the city I’m going to. Yikes! I’m always on the lookout and hyper vigilant about that but will really be on tenterhooks this time.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

I’ve had hearing tests since I was 4. The state made me get tested every year. It’s pretty boring and much faster now days. You go into a sound proof booth and they repeat similar words at different frequencies and different tones, you wear headphones so they can control which ear the sound is in. In all I think it takes under an hour now. But if it’s your first time it might take a little longer. After they’re done with the earphones they put vibration device just behind your ear to test bone conduction. That feels weird. But it’s not invasive at all.

I am excited for you that you got that affordable housing. In my area it's very hard to get into such places and there are years-long wait lists. Moving is a drag but soon you and Sir will be happily ensconced in your new digs!!!

Back to work today and I'm already annoyed. Hardly any sales today, long lasting customer service issues that I expected to be a whole lot shorter and a man who wants to portray himself as a spotless lamb brought to the proverbial slaughter.

His Fragileness had a bone to pick with everyone, including me when I apparently didn't tell him some irrelevant piece of information that had no connection to the task he asked me to do. I waited a god awful amount of time for that gentleman, so when he became abusive... well forget that!

I've got to fill out the annual review for Medicaid when I get home, so there's that.

I worked in customer service call centres for many years so I feel your pain.


My worst caller ever was a genuine multi-millionaire. I'll tell you THAT story someday.

I've been in a good amount pain since 3PM. I managed a few hours of sleep. I took some tylenol and a zofran just now. I haven't eaten much in awhile. I did eat some dinner though. And I still have this cold.

I am pretty worried and kind of scared. My therapist told me they should tell me what they are looking for but they didn't. Like they didn't want to worry me or something. My Grandpa on my dads side died of pancreatic cancer and I just know that this blood level keeps getting higher and this endoscopy is important.

In therapy we worked on stuff I can control and can't control. I told her about my history of depression after anethesia so shes aware.

Idk. I just feel weird and not right.

I am happy for you! Hope everything goes OK with the packing.

Sharks are scary! Be careful!

Today is not my day. I had to lay down again after breakfast and slept for 2 1/2 hour. After that I feel so very, very tired. I don't know if it is some kind of masked depression, or may be it's age? I am frightened.

But I understand that I have to take it easy in such a situation, try to be in the here and now and not speculate about if it is this or that cause. I will lay down for half an hour. After that I will dress, go out with trash and visit the grocery shop.

Hi Mountaindewed, I understand that you are frightened. Please try to look at your frightfulness as something normal, and then; even if it sounds ridiculous, please try to relax, stay in the moment ...

Today i passed a second milestone in the improvement of my bipolar. I had to get the cover to my air conditioner removed by the superintendent and i had anxiety because last year i was hypomanic and it turned into a real fiasco. But this year i was calm, reasonable and pleasant and it went smoothly. I sure do miss the fun of hypomania, but in the end, it's not worth it.

Oh, excellent news! Yeah the high just isn’t worth the chaos.

I’m just really over this huge psoriasis and PsA flare. Next shot of Stelara is about 3 weeks away. I don’t know if it’s going to help anything or not. Not in the mood to get my hopes up considering this has been going on since January.

Found a solution to internet issues but can’t afford to make changes this month. Maybe next month.

I feel like I’m just having to “ hurry up and wait “ for most everything.

#endpityparty

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I'm just feeling blah today again. Still hacking and blowing through kleenex. I'm having valium issues because my pharamacy is confusing. But whatever. I made it to my trip. We got some shopping done and I went out to eat for the first time since New Years. It was a big accomplishment for me since I have a phobia of eating out. Then once we got to the hotel I was so worn out and out of breath and I needed to blow my nose and I was trying to grab my backpack and I was putting some soda in it and my backpack spilled my meds and the soda all over the parking lot next to the car. My meds didn't open luckily but the sodas were pretty banged up. They didn't explode though. I asked my mom for help since I was really struggling physically and she helped me out. Then once we got to the our room I put on my shorts and just chilled out and watched Family Feud.

My appetite is really getting bad and I have these like red bumps on my leg. I can't tell if its a rash or bruises. I need Thursday to hurry up. I keep seeing commercials with coffins and for funeral homes and I know its just because I'm on edge and paying more attention, but its still freaky.

Idk. I just am tired.

The episode of SpongeBob was just on where Mr. Krabs had a vision of him dying and him being in a casket at his funeral. I haven't watched SpongeBob all year and thats the episode that they choose to play. I kinda got into trouble for having that one on a few years ago because it upset my brother.

I signed the lease. Thinking we can move on the 11th if it works out for everyone. The pet deposit was a huge surprise but the internet and tv I got, so I pay one check and everything is covered. Heat, electricity, water, garbage, recycling, tv, internet. One check. And as soon as as I finish paying off the deposits I can switch to automatic payments and will never have to worry about being late again. But off da, the next four months are going to be tight. But I have a great apartment view of the lake. I’m on 6th floor and if you look straight down you see the parking lot but if you look out it’s trees and lake. Nice.

Congratulations on signing the lease! It sounds like an excellent situation.

Congrats @Nammu! I hope the move goes smoothly.