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#501
Oct 29, 2023, 09:10 PM
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My hair is getting long but unruly lol
I’m Growing it out for the wedding
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
 BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Crazy Hitch, MuddyBoots, Sunflower123
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#502
Oct 29, 2023, 10:29 PM
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Quote:
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, wildflowerchild25
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 BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, wildflowerchild25
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#503
Oct 30, 2023, 08:04 AM
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Possible trigger:
I'm okay  Just a little triggered. I apparently don't like high people rubbing in my face the fact that they're managing their emotions by being high.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
| Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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#504
Oct 30, 2023, 03:33 PM
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My aunts husband is kind of alert. He said "I had a stroke?" But its still going to be a very long road for him. My aunt called my mom and my mom said she sounded good.
My therapist told me today I'm not depressed. Its just mainly cutting out coffee. Which has basically gotten rid of my anxiety and sleep issues. I am sleeping so good at night. The prestiq is really making me not hungry. Not eating is just making me even more sleepy. I went shopping today to get some safe foods but I just don't feel like eating much. I swear sleeping is just like a hobby or something for me.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
| bizi, JaneOnceMore, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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| MuddyBoots
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#505
Oct 30, 2023, 04:30 PM
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Mostly lurking lately.
I started being more aware of what is keeping me occupied. I spend probably extreme amounts of time doing my Diamond art but I really enjoy it. I also spend a fair amount of time aimlessly scrolling Reels in Facebook. I follow lots of people of all types. I think overall I’m doing okay. First major cold snap to 28 degrees to night which I’m really not ready for winter yet. I’m hoping Fall will return for a while. Hugs ! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, Fuzzybear, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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| Aurelius710, Nammu
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#506
Oct 30, 2023, 04:51 PM
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Hey there christina. I gave my diamond art kit to a guy in out building. He does them the way you do. I just couldn’t get into it. The squares are just too tiny for me to see easily. That made it hard and I don’t want hard.
Tonight is bingo Then tomorrow night is Halloween. I give blood at 1, then from 4-6 we hand out candy. Have pizza and play dirty bingo at 6:30. I’m sorta getting dressed up. I have red hair mud then I’m wearing all black and putting on black kitty ears, a bow tie and a tail. We got snow Saturday but it’s melted already. It’s in the low 30’s out there but I was fine in my sweater. Still haven’t turned on the heat in my apartment. It’s 69, just right. I’ve been getting awesome sleep. Watch me jinx it by saying that! But it’s been great as a consequence I’m doing great.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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| ~Christina
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#507
Oct 30, 2023, 05:40 PM
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Quote:
I was called back to his clinic today where they did the thyroid biopsies and a couple of thyroid related blood tests. Went by pretty well, even with feeling like I've been punched in the throat! Have a few days on the blood tests and about a week for the biopsy results to get back. Rescheduled my colonoscopy for January. Given the early morning cold weather and all of my thyroid related troubles, it made sense. Well, today's troubles are done. Hopefully tomorrow's are nothing to write home about!
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"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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#508
Oct 30, 2023, 10:31 PM
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I'm down to 50mg of loxapine now from 150mg. Not feeling so great. I feel nauseous and shaky, but I NEED to get off this medication. My anxiety has been through the roof! I'm also down to 50mg of seroquel a day from the up to 300mg I was taking before. No wonder I'm so anxious and feel like ****! Ugh!
But I just gotta tough it out. I don't have any paranoia or psychosis or anything, just magnified anxiety levels. Like I feel like I'm going to puke from it. Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning and want to cancel because I feel like ****.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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#509
Oct 30, 2023, 10:36 PM
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My troublemaking immature uncle is getting in my nerves but he leaves in two days. So glad I see my t tomorrow. I see Pdoc next week and am so glad I get to say I’m still stable.
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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#510
Oct 30, 2023, 11:19 PM
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So the clinic didn't call today. Hopefully tomorrow. I slept the day away today. I got my marker organizer today so I have to spend time organizing my markers and labeling them. My h's birthday is tomorrow. It's Victoria's first Halloween as she/her. She bought a beautiful Red dress to be a vampire but she's nervous about getting dressed up. My parents don't want us answering the door tomorrow. I see where I get my anxiety. I ordered h's favorite meal but they didn't have it so he got a steak sandwich instead. Now I have to decide whether I cook it for him or not. He loves it but it always makes him sick. So idk. I feel bad that we're not at my in-laws but we haven't told them yet about Victoria. I'm trying to make new traditions for the holidays we would be there because we won't be welcomed anymore. Usually we spend Halloween - Thanksgiving there. Then after go to my parents for Christmas and back to the inlaws for new years but that's not happening this year. We just can't be gone that long and we won't go unwelcomed. I don't know what to get Victoria for Christmas. Her room is still packed from when we moved almost a year ago.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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#511
Oct 31, 2023, 05:14 AM
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Been sick. Friday evening, my asthma flared up and stayed that way in the yellow zone ( caution) and red zone ( emergency) on my peak flow meter all weekend even though I was using my rescue inhaler sometimes every hour!. I finally saw my doctor yesterday afternoon. She prescribed a different maintenance inhaler at double the usual dose for two weeks then the regular dose there after. Currently I’m still stuck in the yellow zone. I have a voice therapy appointment scheduled for today but if I can’t breathe I can’t sing.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123
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#512
Oct 31, 2023, 07:54 AM
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So yesterday was more fun than a barrel of monkeys....NOT! IV Potassium hurts like a mofo and feeding tubes aren't exactly a trip to the fair either, but I do feel so much better. I actually slept last night too.
My car is still at the hospital (got a ride home), so my mom's picking up the Zepatier later today. As far as the docs know the hep C is the cause for the electrolyte imbalance and malnutrition as loss of appetite is a symptom, but I was seriously binging and purging for a while, and then for the past week or so even when I could've eaten, well, screw that. I didn't get to see my CW yesterday so she stopped by this morning, and she doesn't suspect a thing! My little secret  (I guess thank God for, uh, however I got it? [is it that bad it's impossible to know?]) (doc said treatment's really expensive. Looked it up and the whole med plan is like $25,000 and I'm on one of the cheaper ones)
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Moose72, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25
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#513
Oct 31, 2023, 10:08 AM
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I’m having such a hard time. I don’t remember it being this bad before. I’ve slept around the clock with no sleeping aids. I have support but not with my family. Even my daughter. I called and got an appointment with my med provider for some additional medicine. I hope I can make it that far. I’m just not well.
I hope everybody has a peaceful day. 
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| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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| bizi, ~Christina
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#514
Oct 31, 2023, 11:07 AM
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I bought a hella expensive Halloween costume yesterday lmao
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Blue_Bird, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Sunflower123
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| Blue_Bird
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#515
Oct 31, 2023, 11:11 AM
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I just bought red mud hair color and a cat accessory kit. Just wearing black clothes and cat ears, tail and tie. Simple.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Sunflower123
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| Blue_Bird
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#516
Oct 31, 2023, 11:12 AM
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__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, MuddyBoots, Sunflower123
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| Blue_Bird, raspberrytorte
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#517
Oct 31, 2023, 12:26 PM
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Started volunteering again with the cat rescue place again, since I now have a set schedule at work and have Tuesdays off. Went in today and volunteered, I’ll be going in every Tuesday to volunteer. Happy to be back with them. Here’s pics of one of the cats today. He’s a huge tomcat, so sweet and friendly
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Sunflower123
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| bizi, MuddyBoots, Nammu
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#518
Oct 31, 2023, 03:37 PM
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Happy Halloween
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, MuddyBoots, Sunflower123
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| MuddyBoots
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#519
Oct 31, 2023, 05:05 PM
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I rode with mom to another town to see her psychiatrist even though I wasn’t up to it. She decided to stop by Sonic on the way back. She floored the gas instead of the brake and we went through two big ditches and into a busy intersection. She is okay, the car is messed up and I broke my arm.
In other news, I lost my bupropion and asked my provider to call it in again. She was extremely hateful. I left a less than cordial message for her. I’m just done. |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, JaneOnceMore, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25
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#520
Oct 31, 2023, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi
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| BeyondtheRainbow
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#521
Oct 31, 2023, 07:19 PM
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Goodness, @Sunflower123 , that’s awful and I’m glad you’re both ok aside from the broken arm. I hope things get better for you soon.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Rosi700, Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#522
Oct 31, 2023, 07:19 PM
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Today is the first day I’ve felt normal. I’m happy I decided to go for ECT sooner. And I’m glad I started taking lexapro again, I’m sure that has something to do with it. I was still in a negative mood yesterday, very irritable. But today was better. We had the Halloween parade at school today, the high school marching band came and played thriller while walking with us. It was pretty cool. The staff members were all uno cards. The secretary printed out big cards and laminated them and we hung them around our necks. Came out nice.
I just have to get my eating back under control. Been eating like crap because of depression, time to get it together.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, Sunflower123
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#523
Oct 31, 2023, 07:37 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Rosi700, Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#524
Oct 31, 2023, 07:48 PM
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Had a fun time today. Couldn’t donate blood because I couldn’t find where it was. Was supposed to be at the college but I drove around to all the buildings and couldn’t find it.
But the handing out candy went well. Didn’t get too many kids but those that came were cute and I gave them a handful each. The dirty bingo went very well, I got a bunch of doubles and had four gifts by the end of the game. Ended up with one. A package of delicious cookies. Good company! Got to see the end of BB.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| BeyondtheRainbow, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, Sunflower123
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#525
Oct 31, 2023, 08:09 PM
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Strange Halloween. Cold, snow on the ground, felt more like Christmas! My daughter got a good haul though. Went with her friends. We walked about a mile and I didn't feel like I was dying. I was fine (just freezing lol). It WAS the loxapine causing my fatigue! Take that doctors who weren't taking me seriously! Anyway, so we had fun
. Even had a snowball fight. Haha!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Exoskeleton, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Rosi700, Sunflower123
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