Bipolar Check-in #87

@nammu should you want to display your art from you iPhone or iPad post images is very similar. Just take a photo of it, go to post images and choose upload from the photo library. I just did this one of my cat midnight that way posting the thumbnail link after I had copied it from postimages.org.

Waiting on grocery pickup soon. Ready to get that done and over with.

Good morning. I have a volunteer shift with the cat rescue today.

Here’s a pic of my two kitties from a couple minutes ago

Have a pdoc appointment this week. I can imagine the conversation.

"Why'd you stop the meds?"
"My mood, anxiety, and impulse control was already as bad as it gets. Only possible thing that could have gotten worse is psychosis and sleep and I'm not even on anything for psychosis, and an inability to sleep along with hearing voices would've been a good excuse to go to the ER and get a ODT zyprexa."
"You could've just asked me for zyprexa."
"Yeah, but you would've given me more than one and probably not even ODT... it worked out though, I didn't get worse I actually am more stable than I've been in months."

Mustachio is showing new kitty the good places to hang out! Thats so cute!

It’s Monday!!! Ughhhh enough said for my morning check in. And I’ve been awake since 3:40am. Even better. Monday is my good teaching day it’s Tuesday and Wednesday that are rough. Ah well…..

She is! She has several spots she really likes. One is up there in the picture. Another is on the cable box because it’s warm and the other is on my Xbox because it’s also warm lol

I just got back from my volunteer shift a little while ago. It went well. I’m dissociating now though which sucks. Anyway, here’s some pics of the cats today at my volunteer job

I’m just laying down now trying to do the opposite of be overstimulated. I might put my heating pad on. I’m sore and have bruises from
Moving that cabinet from the 2nd floor up to my 3rd floor apartment. And sore from carrying really heavy bag of a lot of canned stuff from the store today about half a mile home. It’s really cold out. It’s 20 but feels like 8 degrees and is super windy.

Ugh, didn’t get up when my alarm went off. So I over slept. Took until 3:30 to fall asleep and my legs were bothering me so I got up and wrapped them in that elastic wrap stuff. Then was able to fall asleep. So maybe 3:30, so I slept 10 hrs instead of 7.5 . Not so bad I guess but will it keep me awake tonight?

Fun dreams tho. Was in a hospital and a whole bunch of us were on cautions. But somehow got to go shopping. There were stores attached via skyways. And we had walkers and wheelchairs. One guy was trying to get his money back on D&D figurines. I said it was time to get back but nobody wanted to go back. I went alone and was still late but got points for trying. The nurse was a teacher and gave me a B for independent action but lost out on and A for being late. Somehow Joann’s fabrics got twisted up in all that too. Weird dream.

I did everything yesterday so today is just shower, med boxes and read.

How the big guns inspection on the 13th so when it gets closer I’ll sweep and mop then.

Aww those pictures blue bird! Makes me want a cat again!

My left eye is bugging me. I took my contacts out around 11 to take a nap and my eye just is itching and it doesn't help that I keep poking at it.

My 11 year old nephew is selling candy bars for boy scouts and those candy bars are good and they are only $1 so I bought 11. I wasn't into the $20 cub scout popcorn but the candy bars I like.

Today has been fine. I ordered melatonin and pepcid. I really need to get in the shower.

I was gonna report that i had nammu dreams last night! They were not my usual dreams!

Ha ha, vivid colorful Weird dreams huh? Don’t cha love them. It’s like a 4D movie

Welp, not having SI was nice for the five days it was gone...

I've been rushed today so may not catch up on posts until tomorrow.

I finally did sleep well last night, took a long power walk, showered, had grocery pickup then I sliced cheese for crackers/cheese/summer sausage and fruit that I planned for lunch...except I forgot the crackers. Back to the grocery store, and they were crowded! Reminds me why I always do curbside pickup nowadays! Read with the SAD lamp, finally had coffee and breakfast, did laundry, then lunchtime, then dishes, then drew, but my drawings were disappointing today (in the creative corner) all except the gull I drew on Friday and colored today. The gull came out very well. I think I have a bit of a knack for drawing birds, which I never would have guessed until I tried it. Got to plan dinner; I think the meal I am making may need an hour or so to cook, have to check the recipe.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Today was alright. God a nice walk in. I called my grandma and had an okay call with her-calls with her can be interesting sometimes.

Tomorrow is a full day at work. I have to play catch up because I was gone Friday but also prepare to miss one of my classes Tuesday because I have to leave early to see the retina specialist. I also have to leave shortly after school gets out to get to my pdoc appointment. As long as I am feeling well enough, my plan is to find a coffee shop that's open late and go there between my pdoc appointment and the volunteer meeting at my church. If I make it to the meeting, I won't be home until around 7:45 pm or 8 pm at the earliest (and 8 pm is when I typically start getting ready for bed).

I hope you all get a good night's sleep!

That is a great drawing!

I've been mia bc I've been so busy. My most kind caregiver fell at the door carrying up soda. She was pissed and said I'm sorry but I have to go down to 2 days a week. She said she'll stay with me until I found someone else for the other days. She has had 2 mini strokes and from the very beginning didn't like the stairs. She hurt her neck and it's still sore.

I found a new caregiver but she's colder and not like my other caregiver.

My son shaved his eyebrows. I couldn't stop laughing with my friend tonight, it made me lmao. But I didn't laugh when he told me. He said he was really paranoid from drinking too much caffeine and they itched so bad he just couldn't stand it anymore. I told him it's probably from not showing like he should and he agreed.

So I got a therapist that I think I'm just going to work with. Cbt has completely changed since I did it 20 yrs and the new kind completely confuses me. So I'm just going to ask her what she uses for anxiety.

I think I'm going to move to a bottom floor apt. Just a 1 bedroom. My son agrees to that decision and will just use this black mat we have to sleep on. If we're arguing one of us can go in my room and watch TV or something..I can put his bed etc in storage.

I finally got the seated walker. But I can't use it bc I need back support and it just has a bar. I'm waiting to hear from a company that might be able to help.

So I'm just finally getting control of my life.

I hope you all are moving and grooving along. 😁

My contact fiasco continues. The right one took 15 minutes. And I took a break to watch the news. Then I went and got it in. Then I almost got the left one in but I dropped it and I couldn't find it. I waited half an hour and then my mom found it so now I'm waiting a bit to try it again.

Last night was kinda hard physically. I hadn't taken a shower in a few days and my hair felt all weird like it was pulling at me or something. And I was hot. I slept decently but at 5:45 I got in the shower right away. Now I feel fine. I just need to get that contact in.

I got it in but I'm not sure its in correctly. I might have to try it again. This happened yesterday

I am SO tired latel.y my thyroid labs were back to normal so i thinki ts just me being so busy. i wokr two jobs and go to school fulltime plus take care of my granny some still. plus just life things to do. its a lot. i see t tomorrow. no amount of caffiene will help today. i just wanna sleep. ugh

@HALLIEBETH87 yeah, I'd be tired if I worked two jobs and did full time school too! Hell, I'd be burnt out doing half that.

Finally got my criminal record over to one possible future landlord after two weeks of her telling me to call the wrong agency and not telling me who to ask for and emailing back and forth and her not being a native English speaker and a lot of confusion because my fancy smartphone is 10% as reliable and 700000% more frustrating than a dealer's walmart flip phone, and I can't ask questions for clarification real time.


It took an hour once I mentioned it in passing to someone and they're like, "oh, you can get those online from the state." I didn't have to make 30 phone calls and a road trip, or make my case manager print out something for me to sign a THIRD time (not even what they wanted), nope. Just google "nh criminal records," put in my birthday, and wait for an email.

I woke up. I should be tired again at about 9am pst.

Does this kind of thing happen to anyone else? I'll kinda predict the future, lol. Hear me out. OK, I just had a dream, I was there for mental health reason, there was an old rock star from Alice in chains I think.

The women serving us food were developmentally delayed. There's a guy I find hot on instagram. We'll the women serving food we're just talking like he was this great guy. He kept walking back and forth checking me out. The ex rock star tells me to stay away from him. That he's a con man and that's why he's in there.

So I go to instagram and the first video that comes up? Him making frozen meatballs in his air fryer with coating. His whole gig is being a comedian.

I know that he's not the guy in the dream. But like I have dreams like that all the time. I guess it's just a coincidence.

@iloveanimals Sometimes dreams like that happen. Like the night my paternal grandmother passed away, I had a dream about her around 4 AM where we were together and she was happy getting her hair done in a hair parlor (she often took me along when she got haircuts and dyes). That morning, my mom called and told me my grandmother had passed away around 4 AM. Now, it that was not huge a surprise, she was in hospice, so her death was on my mind but the fact that it happened almost exactly when I had that dream about her was very weird.

I'm doing pretty well this morning. I did a pilates video, practiced holding my plank and did a few pushups. As a result of practicing the plank, I can actually do real pushups which I haven't done in close to 20 years! I had breakfast, read with the SAD lamp, and drew. Drawing was a mixed book, I drew a pretty good mace and tried my hand at drawing an eye in ink (both pics in the creative corner). But I tried forever to draw a cheetah running and it just wasn't happening today. Maybe another day.

I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I can't respond to everyone; sometimes I can, and sometimes I can't. That's the way it goes. Stupid ADHD.

Gorgeous drawing as always @Blueberrybook 😊👌