Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

I slept well. Like the dead. 10 1/2 hours. Cutting the Zoloft dose down and changing the Thorazine schedule has helped a lot with me sleeping and not having racing thoughts and being up in the middle of the night barely sleeping for days and being impulsive etc. I haven’t missed a day of sleep or got less than 8 hours in like 5 or 6 nights now. Hopefully this continues. I feel really good.

I sat outside today for 30 min in the daylight and read. Since it’s pretty warm out. It’s 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels really nice out.

There’s gonna be an Easter brunch in the community room on Thursday from 10am to 12pm so I’m gonna go to that. I also have a volunteer shift that night with the rescue cats. From 6pm to 8pm. So will be a busy day.

I’m gonna paint today, practice violin and get on the treadmill

Congratulations!!!!

Do you have any celebration plans (big or small)?

I'm pretty distracted today. That extensive pipe and foundation work has started. We've got 6 or 7 guys here digging, most Spanish speaking, other than the foreman who speaks English as well. It's just my daughter and me home, so it is weird. However, the company we are using has been around since the time we bought the house (they did the initial foundation repair), so presumably everything should go smoothly. Tomorrow we won't have water though, so my daughter & I are going to my youngest sister's house. I haven't seen her since Christmas, so it should be a nice visit.

This morning, I did a power walk, read only a bit with the SAD lamp (too distracted to read), drew 2 pics (in creative corner).

I hope everyone has a quieter & much more settled day than I am!

My endocronolgist confirmed its heart disease and high cholestrol. But some weird kind that can't be reversed it can only be stopped from getting worse. He wants me to lose some serious weight so I don't get a heart attack in a few years. He suggested the medtierrian diet so I think I'll start that. He did say I looked good today and not sickly and pale like I did last time.

The 50mg Prestiq seems to slowly be getting better. I was really anxious and seriously crabby to the point of anger this morning.

@Blue_Bird 50F sounds nice! Here it is already 78F with a high of 84F. Looks like summer is on its way!

It’s nice here today too. It’s almost 60 right now (after just snowing haha). I’ve got my window open, sweatshirt off (for now), and everything.

Yesterday was hot and humid, today is much better, it cooled off again. Have the windows open and it’s 66F here. So nice.

I’m trying to get the laundry out today. Been putting it off for days.

Blueberry your bird is so good! Wow. It’s great.

i just realized i havent ben taking my afternoon dose of anti p. im seeing spiders

my sister and granny are planning a small get together the day of graduation. we will have lunhc and cake.

I really need to start taking my midday Seroquel (50 mg). I had been skipping it, thinking I didn't really need it, I wasn't that panicky, but now I'm so anxious having workers I don't know at the house and I've noticed my spending going up too. I don't know, it's maybe been 2 weeks since I took it regularly (off & on I've taken it in the meantime, mostly off). Can a lack of 50 mg of Seroquel start me having some hypomania (at least in regards to spending and perhaps overexercising)?

On the other hand, I have a work crew here, I can't really fall asleep right now (and I really want a nap right now). I definitely am going to have to make some coffee. I don't know if I should take the Seroque or not. Probably I should, but I don't want to do it and then be even more tired.

Got two loads in, that’s the maximum number of washers you can use at one time. Still have 4 loads waiting. The wash room was empty, just the way I like it. I ordered the groceries to be delivered this afternoon. So now I’ll have soy milk tomorrow for my chai. I didn’t get to have my chai this morning and I’m dragging.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Blueberry your bird is so good! Wow. It’s great.

Thank you so much! I never would have guessed that I would be good at drawing birds until I actually started drawing them Now they are one of my favorite subjects to draw. Once I'm less stressed, I'll have to draw one to color again. Birds can be quite complex to color, but I usually have fun once I get going.

Sigh. Took the 50 mg Seroquel. I can't be anxious & panicky tomorrow driving myself & my daughter to my sister's tomorrow. It's a 45 min. drive and past a mall and roads with lanes that suddenly you must get out of or turn left or right, oh, I hate that, it makes me so nervous driving that last bit.

Made myself a cup of coffee. I really need to stay awake!

Apartment still clean! Ive asked N3 to help me with my Anglican chant for Wednesday’s service. I don’t know that he has time before 6 pm Wednesday which is our last rehearsal- right before the service at 7:00.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Apartment still clean! Ive asked N3 to help me with my Anglican chant for Wednesday’s service. I don’t know that he has time before 6 pm Wednesday which is our last rehearsal- right before the service at 7:00.

I hate cleaning so much I rarely do it. Usually either H has to nag me or I start doing it when I'm manic. Every time I clean these days, my daughter will ask me first thing if I'm feeling alright and if I'm not manic. So it goes with bipolar

Sorry for excess posts today, not much I can concentrate on.

I was so exhausted I slept for about an hour or 45 minutes. When I woke up my walmart delivery was here. I also got a message from my NP saying my pdoc is putting me on visteril. I asked for the 25mg instead of the 50mg because I've had better luck with the 25mg.

I drank 2 cans of zero sugar cherry Dr. Pepper. I need caffeine in order not to be anxious so that helped a Iot so I'm feeling better now.

I’m gonna start recording some of the 25 songs this week for my 25 Christmas song thing I’m doing on Facebook with my violin. I might do it early and have them all posted in July for “Christmas in July”. That gives me a tighter mental deadline and will keep me motivated. That gives me roughly 2 1/2 -3 months max to get them learned and recorded. Which I can do.

Boy did I sleep today! My body is SO tired, and I don't even know why. I thought it was depression, but I don't think it is, I think it may just be burnout. About to go to my study with all the ladies from my Church group, so that should be good. I really like getting together with all of them. Feeling strange that this is Holy Week, and my baptism is Saturday, feels almost surreal. My dad doesn't want to go; I think his Muslim beliefs are stopping him, which is okay - my mom agreed to go.

@Blue_Bird - you should definitely try and at least walk into the church by yourself, when you're up to it. That's how I started. I didn't know anyone at first. Also, you may want to call up the closest church and meet with the priest and just talk to him. That helped a lot for me in the beginning too. Faith became so important to me this past year, having missed it all those years, I couldn't live without it now. I hope you do go in May though!

I hope everybody had a good start to week. I feel like a turtle today!

Oh my Goddddddd....

I TRIED telling my case manager that I am struggling, that I binged and purged last week, that I do not feel well--I am dizzy and nauseous, it's like 60 degrees and I don't want to take my sweatshirt off around people, I'm not sleeping every night, I called my meds evil, any small amount of food is considered a success, and she would NOT listen. She came earlier than expected and I had left my calorie count on a whiteboard on the freakin' fridge for Christ's sake, and she's just like "well it's good that you ate today and you sound a lot less anxious than you have in the past. It sounds like you're working towards some really good goals too."

Had my 3 month POTs check-in with my pcp today. She's great! She almost always checks in about how my bipolar disorder is doing and I never feel stigmatized by her when we discuss it. Between now and my next 3 month check-in, I am going to start taking a fish supplement to see if that helps my high cholesterol. A week before my next appointment, I need to get the levels checked again so the results are ready for the appointment. We are also going to check my vitamin d levels. She told me to make sure I keep drinking a lot of electrolytes and to stay out of the heat as much as possible to try to avoid a POTs flare.

Been a productive day so far. After my appointment, I did some more cooking and a few other to do list things. I still have three hours until the volunteer group meeting at my church-I'm. not sure what I'm going to do. Maybe, a little packing and some reading.

Oh, that’s such a cool goal! Go get em! It’s so neat that you play the violin.

muddy, you always have the option of eating (and not purging) and upping that calorie count into a normal range to help yourself get healthy. And, as I said in the ED thread, for goodness' sakes, don't count the calories!

My cat Midnight is going psycho! She wants to go outside SO badly (she loves being outside), but we're keeping all the cats in what with the tunnels exposing the pipes all around the house and dirt mounds everywhere. She's giving the crying little meows, scratching at the sliding glass door to the backyard, and pawing the curtain blinds in the window next to the front draw. Every time she sees me she looks at me with her big eyes and starts up with the crying meows again.

I know, but it just doesn’t seem right. Every time I do eat my stomach revolts (last night I had half a granola bar and felt like I had taken Tramadol with like that body high kinda feeling but much much colder, more unpleasant, and more centralized to my core) and I know, threaten my doc or something, but I still see her Friday, and I don’t think I can get in any sooner. I don’t have time Thursday or tomorrow anyway.

I cant uncount the calories I already counted though. I will stop.