[Crazy Hitch]

Congratulations 🙌 on passing that’s awesome Hallie!

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I passed!!!!’!!!!!

Congratulations!!! Knew you would!

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I passed!!!!’!!!!!

Congratulations! I knew you would do it!!

My heart is aching so bad. He sent me a box for my birthday with the coolest things in it that only I would like. A little Locutus of Borg, some really funny comics, a nice card, tons of snacks, and tons of movies and shows on a hard drive that I could watch. Just really thoughtful cool things. He doesn't have to be this perfect, my heart aches. So many things I want to say, but I can't, so many feelings in me, so many wants and needs - this is so hard.

[Victoria'smom]

Congratulations Hallie!!!

My emotions are everywhere. H keeps leaving for walks hours on end. He sleeps late and so I cant eat until later in the day which frustrates me.

[Scooter9]

Congratulations, @HALLIEBETH87!

Persistence makes progress, and progress you have! Well done!

[unaluna]

I have Locutus of Borg too. And i have a little magnetized picture of Data on the door of my microwave. So for the past 30? years, he's been keeping a watchful eye on my boilovers.

[Crazy Hitch]

My stomach has started playing up big time today. I hope it settles because I’m back at work tomorrow. This is new. Wasn’t originally a symptom of my virus.

[June08]

I had a good amount of mental stamina today-more than i've had in a bit. My big accomplishment of the day is I cooked for the first time in awhile. Just pasta, but it's something. And, it will last me a few days.

What I'm assuming is seroquel keeps giving me these really vivid dreams and I'm not really a fan. They keep waking me up. And, last night, one of the vivid dreams had me back in the abusive organization I found myself in during my first manic episode (when I didn't know I had bipolar disorder/didn't realize I was manic). That's something I don't need to be reliving through vivid dreams. I've gone from looking forward to going to bed because of a low mood to not wanting to go to bed because I don't want to deal with these dreams. I see my pdoc again July 1st so I have a tiny bit yet before I can talk with him about this. What's important is I'm still getting enough sleep at night.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I have Locutus of Borg too. And i have a little magnetized picture of Data on the door of my microwave. So for the past 30? years, he's been keeping a watchful eye on my boilovers.

Oh wow, I haven't thought of Star Trek TNG in ages! I used to really enjoy that program. They touched on all kinds of important issues, not only of the day, but those ever present and important and fundamental issues.

I also watched the final episode in 1994 along with 40,000 other fans in Toronto's Sky Dome. That brings back memories!

That also got me thinking of MASH. I was pretty young at the time, and didn't get a lot of it. I rewatched it later, in my 30s, and it confirmed to me that Allan Alda really made the program something really special. He directed a lot of the later episodes. I still watch for news about him and he's still true to himself after all this time.

Thanks for unlocking that memory, as they say these days

[Crazy Hitch]

I’m feeling better. Phew. Now to just wait until I pick up my son from school in just over an hour.

[Brentus]

Congrats Hallie!

[LadyShadow]

Woke up early this morning and got to watch cartoons which is always good. I slept okay, a bit of unrest, definitely not enough of sleep. Have a work meeting in about half an hour, so that should be good.

Trying not to let my heart run away with my emotions today. I have therapy today!! I look forward to this all month. I am also going over to my friend's house to do my Confession study later. I am hoping for a good day today.

I hope everyone has a great day!

[MuddyBoots]

Most of my stuff except the towels are finally dry now! I got the brilliant idea of cranking up the heat (which, by the way, after they upgraded the heating system last week, our water doesn't get as hot now and I wouldn't be surprised if the heater doesn't go as high either. I was kind of cold this morning when I woke up even with the heat on a 4/5 but then again I hiked 8 miles in 90F weather a few days ago and it was like 50 and wet this morning) and turning on the ceiling fan to circulate the air some.

I also brought back with me some essential oils I had at home. I don't have a diffuser or anything but I've been putting a few drops in a bowl with boiling water and keeping it near me when I'm reading, journaling, eating, etc. and put a few drops of the lavender and peppermint on a tissue and put it in my pillow case when I go to bed. It helps. Especially considering my neighbor smokes pot and I don't really think the landlord cares too much despite it supposed to be a pro-recovery residence. I heard her going after my neighbor, like to a point she was almost crying, after maintenance checked out my fridge a while ago and reported smelling it, and then they were laughing after a bit like "haha, just kidding, just wanted to scare the newbie."

My mom is driving by town today and she's going to stop by on her way home tonight with my desk, chair, and curtains. Pretty excited to set that up. I love assembling furniture. I know a lot of people get frustrated (especially if they try to follow instructions that aren't clear), but I (don't follow directions and just go by the picture on the box or website and intuition) and think it's fun.

I went for a walk ridiculously early this morning just out of cabin fever (that I get from being inside for 10 hours straight apparently now that it's not subzero every week) and there were a lot of people playing pickleball at 6:30am. It was kinda shocking not gonna lie. Didn't know people got up that early to play pickleball on a Wednesday.

[MuddyBoots]

I'm contemplating calling my therapist and asking her if she has anything open today or early tomorrow, but I see her Friday and I don't even think she's in on Thursdays and doubt she has availability today so idk.

I feel like I'm in "quiet crisis" like I'm not impulsive in a loud-acting-out-aggressive way, but I feel like I'm just slowly slipping. I'm not really doing things to enjoy them, just to distract myself from bad thoughts. Everything I'm doing is either food-obsession related or a distraction from that obsession. I keep making meal plans and at first I tried weekly, but then went down to three days at a time, and now it's just "use the 5tbsp of hummus leftover in the next 4 days before it goes bad. 6 rice cakes left too that will probably be stale soon so should probably eat those in the next 3-5 days or so too." Then that morning I'll "plan" for that day, sometimes even the next, and like every 2 hours I'll think about it and change it. Then meal times half the time I don't even stick to what I planned an hour before.

I got rid of my ED-playlist but I'm still looking up and listening to a lot of songs that can kinda be interpreted in that way (like Masochist by Polaris or Entice Me by Colourblind are a few on repeat I feel relate to my ED because they're about being attracted to self-destruction even though neither discuss anything about body shape/image or food or anything like that). (Also listening to Coma White by Marilyn Manson way more than any healthy person would. I don't think a healthy person would listen to it at all really, though.)

Just procrastinating a lot for going back home and eating and putting away the hopefully dry by now towels (and seeing if my T has anything open today, which if I were to do I should do ASAP because I'm like a 5 minute walk away right now and if she had 10:30 open I could be there. I don't think I'm going to. I can wait until Friday.) I guess. It's going to be warm and drier out today, so I should be able to open the windows and have the fan on again if they're still not dry.

I did a cool thing though. I was planning on wearing long sleeves all summer because I really REALLY destroyed my arms in December and of course that shyt's still no where near faded, and I'm not always against short sleeves but sometimes I just don't feel like showing the world my purple striped arms, but then I heard about tattoo sleeves and looked some up and they're a good idea but most are boring and kinda expensive, so I got 4 pairs of crew/knee high socks from the Dollar tree and cut them. I have a pair that's just black, a pair that's tiger print, a pair that's coyote paws, and a pair with piano keys.

[Blue_Bird]

I slept okay. I went to sleep on the loveseat last night so my sleep quality according to my Fitbit was bad. Idk I was just laying in the loveseat and didn’t feel like getting up to go into my room to go lay in my bed to sleep so I decided to just stay there lol

I put on some 70 SPF sunscreen and that seemed to help the issue with the sun sensitivity. Sat outside in direct sunlight for 10 minutes today. It’s 71 degrees currently. No problems. Normally my arms start getting burnt and itchy within like 10 minutes or less of being in sunlight/heat. Thanks to all my meds that cause photosensitivity. And there’s a lot of them I’m on that cause that. I think almost every med I’m on causes that so it just amplifies into me being extremely horribly sensitive to the sunlight. Not to mention I’m super fair skinned and also not used to being in the sun much as I’m more of an indoor person especially in the summer.

I also have aloe Vera sunburn gel in case I do ever get burnt.

Anyway, had weird weird vivid dreams last night.

I had a popcorn movie night last night with microwave popcorn and cranberry juice in a wine glass to feel fancy lol and watched a movie. Kinda like finding ways to make typical days a little more magical and fun.

I also baked homemade bread last night. It didn’t come out great , it tasted fine but it didn’t rise as much/how I wanted it to. But that’s okay! It’s a learning experience. It was my very first time ever baking homemade bread using yeast.

Today’s gonna be spent reading on my kindle and probably playing some more of my game on my phone. Might throw in a load of laundry at some point.

Hope you all have a great day, congrats on passing Haillebeth!

[HALLIEBETH87]

Ima social worker officially now!! Working on getting g my license now. So glad to stop studying!!!!

[Mountaindewed]

I slept 12 hours. From 7PM-7AM. Yesterday just wore me out. I woke up feeling great though both physically and mentally and I got in the shower and brushed my teeth and watched The Today Show.

I don't have any plans for today. Its hot outside and I don't really need or want anything.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Possible trigger:

I use monistat cream.

My cousin had this favorite joke when we were kids and now i finally understand it!

This lady gets on the bus with her liitle dog whose name was "Itchy-Boom-Boom." It was a nice day so the bus windows were open, and all of a sudden the little dog jumped out the window. The lady started yelling, "oh my itchy boom boom! Oh my itchy boom!"

The bus driver turned around and said, "so whyn'tcha itch it, missus?"

There was a similar story going around when I was a kid except it was about a boy named Bootyitch.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

There was a similar story going around when I was a kid except it was about a boy named Bootyitch.

My dad wanted to get a dog and name it “stain” so he can yell out “Come Stain!”

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I slept 12 hours. From 7PM-7AM. Yesterday just wore me out. I woke up feeling great though both physically and mentally and I got in the shower and brushed my teeth and watched The Today Show.

I don't have any plans for today. Its hot outside and I don't really need or want anything.

An MRI is basically a physical and emotional attack, outside of even thinking about what its for. Its effing overwhelming just for the noise and having to stay still.

[Blueberrybook]

Congratulations @HALLIEBETH87!

@MuddyBoots I hope your T can fit you in. Sounds like you desperately need help

@Blue_Bird - My meds cause me photosensitivity too. I'm pretty sure for me it's the Seroquel that does it. Sunlight is absolutely dazzling to me now, so walking in the daytime (even in winter) isn't easy for me unless it is overcast. I burn super easily now. I already burned really easily before I was on meds because of my coloring and having very fair skin. Not to mention you can overheat more easily too on most APs (at least the ones I have taken).

I'm having a good day. I slept 9 hr last night so got a bit later start to my day. I took a power walk and thankfully beat the rain as we had quite a good thunderstorm. My bloodwork yesterday came back fine; thank goodness! I did bloodwork around mid-May and the kidney numbers were not good, but the doctor asked if I could be dehydated and I said that was definitely a possibility because of my outdoor walking and my really bad slip back into consuming too much soda and coffee again. So I made an effort to better hydrate myself these past 3 weeks and thankfully the kidney numbers were normal this time around. I hopefully got that correctly uploaded to my pdoc as I see him tomorrow and he was bugging me last month about needing to see labs.

I read with the SAD lamp, did laundry, and painted a quick picture of a popsicle. It's not very impressive though. The book gave this one an easy difficulty level, and it was too easy I think as the pictures with higher difficulty levels look more impressive. I may go back once it dries and see if I can do anything more with it.

[Victoria'smom]

It's Victoria's birthday she's out with a friend the whole day. She's making progress. Feeling better. But me I'm a mess. I have to email my pdoc and switch to teleheath because I can't go alone there. So I have to switch back to the pills. Or have a visiting nurse come to inject me. This sucks but is good at the same time. I start school next week and that's a cluster ****. But trying just to get it done and then go to a better school. I'm so nervous.

[Crazy Hitch]

Can’t believe I’m going back to work after 2 days off. Ughhh. I’m not 100%. Nose still runny plus now I have an upset stomach. Been on the toilet all morning sorry for the information.

[MuddyBoots]

Not okay tonight

[Moose72]

I can’t sleep. Slept too much during a late nap. Worried what my liver Dr will say.