Bipolar Check-In #91

I got a free mega sized Rice Krispies Treat today! Turns out if you download the app it turns $12 of 4 protein bars and the treat into $5 (more like what it would cost at MB without having to use any predownloaded coupons).

Anybody else getting ads popping up between posts? Very irritating.

@Nammu me too

@Nammu me too and my screen keeps flicking. I don't know if thats happening to anyone else.

Then it just randomly logged me out.

I've been feeling a little down. 😔 I had an appointment with my therapist this morning and I was like, "I feel like I'm never going to come out of this." And she was like, "Well you always do." My husband confirmed this when I got home. I guess when I've felt a certain way for a while I forget that I've ever felt different.

Went out in a huge thunderstorm today - I needed to get a few things and go about town since it's finally just 80 degrees! I can't believe how slow work is - I really hate holidays for this reason, it really affects me when they come around. My dad got hit by an armored truck on my birthday, damaging his car and hurting his shoulder, and my parents didn't tell me about it till yesterday. I spent the day on the phone with lawyers and mechanics to help my dad navigate through all this. Thankfully, they have all the resources they need to resolve this. It has been a crazy week and it's just Wednesday!

I hope everyone is having a great day today! Gonna drop a selfie here of my afternoon outing in the thunderstorm : )

I can’t believe the teacher who took my class yesterday had to call leadership in. Well actually I can. Just makes me nervous for when I have to teach them again. That class is out of control I tell you.

Soooo grateful my gp gave me oxazepam. Yeehaa. I will cherish them and only use them when I’m teaching that class because it’s a highly scheduled drug here!

My interview was amazing!
They’re gonna
Schedule a second interview next week.

If it goes well I’ll be doing a uds

Yes, me too! I hate it!

@LadyShadow - Glad to hear your dad is okay. Your picture is absolutely gorgeous!

Having severe dissociation

That's a beautiful painting @Blue_Bird! I love it! I'm toying with trying acrylics but after I try gouche, so it will be awhile yet. The paint tutorial book I'm using has 150 different paintings in it so I have awhile to go!

Thank you! Nice! You’re doing really well with what you’ve been doing, I know I haven’t commented much lately but I’ve kept up with posts and have seen your art, you’re doing great!

@JaneOnceMore - Bipolar sure can do a number on you, sorry about the money mistake

@Moose72 - I hope you feel better soon!

@MuddyBoots - I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. Letting go of an ED isn't easy and God knows I still have issues just not extreme issues and thoughts that I don't act on (though much less often than when the ED ruled my life). I hope you get some sleep tonight. Lack of sleep makes everything worse, and lack of proper nutrition makes it harder to fall asleep which sucks when you already have sleep problems to begin with.

@Victoria'smom - I'm sorry about your reaction to gabapentin. It's funny how differently the same meds affect different people. I'm on gabapentin 1200 mg daily though I used to be on double that, and I really can't be sure it's doing anything. It's supposed to be helping with peripheral neuropathy in my feet, but go figure, once I got on lamotrigine again, the lamotrigine helped the neuropathy. Some people gabapentin makes sleepy but not me! It's never helped me with sleep. I don't even know why I'm still on it except the pdoc says to stay on it anyway. I don't think he even knows what's doing what, all the meds he has me on.

My day has been going pretty well. I slept around 8 hr and was able to go for a jog this morning. I had to stop by the pharmacy to pick up H's prescriptions. Read with the SAD lamp and had a late breakfast. I painted a kiwi after lunch, not really sure of this one.


Hope everyone has a great rest of the day and gets good sleep tonight!

Hopefully today should be a good day. Or at least an acceptable day. I teach 2 classes. I’ll do planning for my first week back after the holidays. Only 2 days left of work then I’m on a 2 week holiday. Bring it on!

Here I am guys! I’m plucking up the courage to show you what I look like! Sorry I’m not good at selfies.

Well I was right! My appointment was nothing but scheduling x-rays and mri’s. They did the x-ray today. And the mri!! 6:30 tomorrow am! I usually am just falling asleep around 4am. Oof it’s gonna be hard but it will get things moving. She did listen and talk for a great bit. The appointment took an hour even if it was kind of redundant. The great thing is that they scheduled the mri for here! No need for a long drive! But boy standing for those x-rays was so hard on my back! Just standing causes such pain, I started sweating from the pain.

No clue what’s next but she did tell me I’m going to end up in Rochester cause the satellite branches don’t do spines. Ugh. I hate the Mayo in Rochester it’s huge, confusing parking is a huge maze and they just tore down one parking ramp to make more offices, so less parking and construction on top of the major headache.

Hope everyone is doing the best they can. Spanakopita for everyone!

I’ve been awake since before 5am. Why idk but oddly I’m not exhausted.

Beautiful picture @Crazy Hitch!

I have been dizzy and sleepy since the blood clot started. Seeing a cardiologist tomorrow. She deals with blood clots. Been sleeping a lot. Still having chills. And I’m going to report that ER Dr from yesterday for sending me home when I told him something was wrong!

My therapist emailed me and said something like she has to responsibly remind me to be careful and read labels when it comes to meds. I had emailed her about the melatonin the other day.

I'm glad shes being a therapist therapist for once. I'm not sure really how to explain it but she often acts more like a therapist friend instead of saying stuff to light a fire under my *** like she did today.

I could tell she was having a hard time keeping a straight face when I told her about the yeast infection thing.

Is a yeast infection on your taint that funny... or is she just being immature.

I feel better from the dissociation. I washed my face with alternate hot and cold water then smelled my aromatherapy perfume. The dissociation was still kinda intense after that so I took my PRN klonopin and feel a lot better. I’m currently on the couch with Mustachio laying on me purring.

I got my grocery delivery order. I decided with the support of my therapist to start looking for a part time job.

Great Pictures Crazy Hitch and Lady Shadow and also great Kiwi Blueberrybook !

I'm feeling numb, overwhelmed, and anxious today. I'm sure it's because my grandma has been in the hospital for a couple of days. This is sad, and I feel bad for her, but working to keep emotional boundaries between my mom and myself (when she constantly projects/forces what she thinks I should be feeling onto me) is what's stressing me out the most. Highly emotional situations that involve my mom can be triggering because she was emotionally neglectful when I was a kid and showing emotions around her was never safe. My emotions were always the wrong ones and/or she'd intensely question me, looking for proof that I should be feeling what I was feeling. I hope she won't push back to hard when I choose not to share much with her if she asks.

Even with this, I was still able to get some stuff done. I ran an errand, did some laundry, went through my finances, and read.

I can’t sleep. Took a long nap today. I am exhausted a lot since the blood clot. My chest is sore. Unsure why. Especially when I breathe in. Under my ribs.