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#376
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I stopped all the benzos especially CLONAZEPAM...it was making me even worse...been off all benzos since MAY 2024. Try Acetyl L- Carnitine...I'm on no "habit forming" medications...
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Check Out My Heavy Metal Website: http://www.secret-face.com/ |
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#377
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Welcome to the bipolar forms death.
I too am not on any benzos, for decades. Couldn’t stand em.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#378
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Welcome to the check in thread death8699. It's good to see you check in.
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, LadyShadow
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#379
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Today was an excellent day - I had a crazy freakout - I KNOW I took my phone out at mass this morning to put it on silent to not disturb anyone - I cried during mass this morning too. I left early as usual for my Legion of Mary duties, and as I am talking in the car with the lady I go with, she mentions this lady who used to talk to Jesus in an empty chair in her room. She helped a lot of people, and her paperwork is being sent to Rome to become a saint. I thought to take out my phone and research her but it wasn't there! I left it in church! I made this poor lady turn around and go back to the church where we were supposed to be giving communion to someone who needs it! I got back to the church and of course the phone wasn't there, so the lady called my parents to come so I could get another one. Do you know how helpless I felt? Do you realize how dependent we are on our phones?
I turned to get in my car because my parents were coming and what did I see sitting on my passenger's seat? MY PHONE!!!! Guys, I swear to you, I took my phone out to turn in on silent in the church. Did I hallucinate that? Am I dreaming? Did the lady who used to talk to Jesus in the empty chair help me? I don't know! Then I went to my parent's, and we had an amazing day outside barbecuing and talking all day. I helped my dad out a lot today and laughed with my mom. They sent me home with a ton of food and a whole carton of chocolate chip ice cream. Please you guys, do me a favor, when I keep telling you how I want to throw my life away, please kick my butt for me. I really feel stupid for how I acted all week.
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
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#380
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@MuddyBoots here a grande cold brew from Starbucks is $6 and a medium cold foam cold brew from Dunkins is about $7.30. At a fancy local coffew place its normally $8-$10 depending on the milk
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
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#381
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Lamotrigine: 300 mg Bupropion: 150 mg Risperidone: 4 mg Quetiapine: 12.5 mg |
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#382
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They're a little chatty but they're not naughty! We just need to practice what "Partner Voices" looks like
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#383
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Well only 2 of the past 3 nights have been all-nighters... thank God I didn't comply with med management rules so I at least got three hours one of those nights...
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
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#384
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Quote:
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#385
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Just checking in. I have been so sick with a stomach virus, throwing up, diarheaa, not sleeping for over 24 hr, constantly throwing, up my meds, not refilling my meds, not getting the week's groceries, not d
not taking my shower, not checking for typ0s on this post, not paying off the credit card, not doing a thing, not checking in here, nopt art, no anything at this post Not even realizing today is my 21st wedding anniversary. Will cathc up the posts later. Just so sick,& weak, oh and I start a colonscopy prep on Wed. morning. Woinderful.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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![]() Moose72
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#386
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Oh, my god, my daughter told me I went into psychosis, and if I didn't fall asleep soon, they weren toaking me to thte hospital! I don't even remember. I toent to blackout went O [psychotic.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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![]() bizi
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#387
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Yikes! How are you now?
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#388
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My Pdoc finally got back to me!!!!! She’s calling in .5 risperdal for audio hallucinations and sleep and said increased Vraylar “is not magic” and takes over a week to kick in. I never rapid cycle so I didn’t recognize my oversharing, the crying then hyper sexuality, etc.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#389
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The breeder is not answering the phone so I can put the deposit to get the dog. I see my psychiatrist in an hour. I have no idea what to say
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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![]() bizi
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#390
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I'm not psychotic or manic, but I'm still hypo. I'm keeping my meds down and sleeping more now, that's something.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, June08, LadyShadow, Moose72, Nammu, unaluna
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#391
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Yup! Good. Thank goodness all I did was rapid cycle though I didn’t know who my case manager was on the phone Friday when I called! And hallucinated a week ago.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Blueberrybook, LadyShadow
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#392
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Added Lexapro.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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![]() Blueberrybook, LadyShadow
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#393
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I’m still afraid my family is going to take me to any ER psych or regular
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, June08, LadyShadow, unaluna
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![]() bizi
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#394
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OK. I'm still manic, not just hypo
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, Nammu
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![]() bizi
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#395
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@Blueberrybook can you get ahold of your psychiatrist?
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots
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#396
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I’m so tired all of a sudden. My primary told me not to nap.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, Nammu
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![]() bizi, LadyShadow, Nammu
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#397
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My mom fixed turkey last night and I knew it would get caught in my throat so I had a cup of applesauce. I ordered some broth, applesauce, and pudding because I'm not mucking around anymore with this stricture thing. A lot of stuff gets stuck in my throat so I'm sticking with easy stuff until I get things figured out. I should get a date this week.
I also ordered a bottle of caffeine pills to take instead of drinking coffee. I took one today and I'm not craving caffeine. Or much of anything. My anxiety is fine. It says on the bottle for ages 12 and up. So I'm guessing they are pretty safe. I did my full workout without any pain. It just took a couple days of really bad pain to get through. I ordered a work out bench from Amazon. I looked at Play It Again Sports and they had dirty ones for $300. My new one from Amazon was $59 something and had over 2000 4.5 star reviews. I have no idea how Play It Again Sports is still in bussiness. I thought I would come out of there with one for $20.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
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#398
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Should I be worried if
Possible trigger:
Probably. I’m at the library and don’t have time to get there and back before I see CM but I don’t think I’m going home to meet her. I’m going to “forget” our appointment and see if she cares enough to call and meet here or if she’ll just take the opportunity for free time. Out of the past 11x I called the team’s emergency number since getting home I got to talk to someone twice. Btw that’s about a 27% call back rate.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, LadyShadow
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#399
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Quote:
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__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, LadyShadow, unaluna
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#400
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H doesn't want me to call my pdoc, and H doesn't want to reschedule my endoscopy & colonscopy on Thurs morning at 7 AM (prep starts Wed. AM, can I handle it? I don't even know at this point, but H rescheduled his entire week around this colonscopy, if I miss it, H will be rescheduling so much because school starts in 2 weeks, and H is a college professor), and H doesn't want to take me to a psych ER or any hospital, and H me to do a thing.
And I have been so, so sick At this point: Quote:
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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