Bipolar Check-In #92

Later today I am going to post in the sleep thread here or in the sleep forum and/or on my own grounding thread in the bipolar forum.

Going back to sleep. Zombified…..

That's awesome, bluebird!

Those are a lot of vaccines! My PCP only suggests flu & Covid annually. (I get Covid shots every 6 months or so because my pharmacy gives them free. It is so good to get your physical over. I am supposed to get my pap smear later this month from the ob/gyn. He is booked up so much dealing with emergency cases & delivering babies, so he won't have another appt. for me until 3 months or so.

Maybe my optional Seroquel is starting to work now.

I truly am a fast reader. I don't want to go online & read a boring classic book in Greek or something!

Oh, I think I would like a preview that is free online to a book I can get from most libraries around Houston, TX.

My days of reading Proust are behind me, but I do enjoy the occasional nonfiction. Yes I’ve been stable a long time but if I missed 3 days of meds I’d be a mess. So don’t worry. Boy I’d like to have all the books in the universe! That would be cool, but where too keep them? I’d have to build my own library!

Look at that! Quick reply can become so annoying, I want everything to slow down! I never realized that before.

Now it is 11 AM and I maybe should go to a real AA meeting, and I didn't even drink alcohol on my 21st birthday. I have only had about 4 or 5 glasses of red wine one time in my life, and it wasn't today. That happened in 2017 during a bad hurricane/tropical storm depression around Houston, TX. We almost thought we would lose our house instead of plants & trees. Luckily, we did not. I had to be able to slow my panic attacks down with a benzo dose because my daughter was in elementary school yet, and I found tons of expired extra psych drugs and benzos! Probably every psych drug I had to stop after 1 week because it made my worse, and my H needed a lot of help parenting. Parenting can be exhausting! I hope parents/babysitters/teachers know that! We stayed with a host who liked one glass of red wine with her dinner nightly, and I joined her. I didn't go to a real bar. I have been to real bars on blind dates off the internet before I met H around 2001 or possibly 2002; my memory is shoddy today about that one. I do know I got married 21 years ago like I have posted all the time lately around Aug. 4, 2025! I haven't drunk nightly since 21, 24 years ago? Possibly. I could have be like I am right now.

I can't drive though! Watch me give true advice at an online AA meeting? Yikes! Can I get to an online bipolar/ED/adhd meeting? Or PTSD meeting today? Probably ADHD/bipolar/manic ones! Everyone will not understand a bit of my advice. Does anyone have a helpful online meeting you can suggest with any psych diagnosis you think I have today? Maybe every a hallucinogenic one where everyone does any illegal drug like snorting some cocaine up my nose in my own house with my family watching me too!? LOL

You DO have all the books in the world - at your fingertips.

Thanks @unaluna! Once I can think straight, I will put in a library hold book request that is not available online. I hate reading ebooks!

I may not even request Proust Confused just yet?! Don't worry. I already told you I do not have that there bad Alzheimers junk! Though my paternal grandfather did, so I worry about it, especially getting early onset Alzheimers. That would suck so much. Doesn't mental illness increase Alzhemier's risk though?! I worry a lot that it is coming on me.

Does anyone here blackout during psychosis and take over a week to stabilize on restraints wearing a diaper? I definitely DO!Cool. Or not.

I hope you think I'm all the comedy TV channels in the world today as I pass time between every chore I post I am doing or really did finish like all my morning chores. I am trying to remember I need to eat & drink water.

Or ponder even attempting just now.

I'm trying, trying, trying already!!!

My daughter didn't leave with H this morning to drive to Beaumont, TX which is a 1.5 hr commute each way. It's a total of 3 hr. driving time (at best, without any congestion or road accidents). He could even drive across the border to Louisiana into the worst swamps and bar dives around and still get back home before midnight if he left early enough.

We do have a safe car here to drive (thankfully). When I am calmer, if I must drive to the psych hospital, a Texas learner's permit driver like my 17 yr. old daughter could drive me there in a pinch even though it is illegal for her to drive with an incapitated adult here. (Texas!! Goodness! Be glad you are not joining me!). Probably a police driver could stop her before we had an accident and take me there himself. Or she'll be smarter and diall 911 instead.

Oh, well, I guess I just got my popup ad blocker message on my computer. I should refresh the page. Possibly restart my computer, but restarting my computer takes me ages (feels like an hour for every real 1 min. time) right now.

Will that make me even faster on my computer? Cool. I will try that later; I can't just yet. Maybe I can't even remember how to do that though! I might need a computer wizards' help from my daugher to annoy her more!

It's already 11:42 AM! Almost noon and time for lunch! Eating & drinking water (not alcohol) should slow me down. Maybe I can concentrate to stream free online TV with the channels I own? Mostly I like mysteries & comedy the most. I do like Star Trek, but my family is watching or rewatching it together from season 1, so I won't speed that one up! I don't want any spoilers, so I can enjoy it without closed captioning on. I have to have closed captioning on or I can't concentrate (CCCCC)! Sea (See) it's cool write, reading fast with tons of psych & other meds trying as you concentrate with alliteration, to add humor

! I have adhd too, and I hate it!

Alliteration is annoying too! (Toot, too, two, 2 #2) It makes my reading flow even faster!

Who else on this board has ADHD? I think muddy does, but who else? I don't want to toot my own horn!

I just joined some ad popup blocker (maybe it it on duckgogo or something like that? It makes me check my posts SLOWLY on MSF. (That is because the default font size on my MSF page shrunk a ton! Everyone knows I need reading glasses to attempt to read a book with tiny teeny print and we have discussed or will be discussing together!) And reading psych pill official drug letters & #'s? Even WITH reading glasses on I can't see those! I don't know how to change my font size (at least at MSF), so I can or can't read at this point!

double post!

drat! My Chrome browser is so slow! I think I could have & did lose a real long post. Or not. I don't even know!

I suddenly am not seeing popup ads. Good, as it limits bottom page ads without slowly me down a bit on my computer!

Maybe my computer does need that restart to help Chrome out today, so I don't go crazy trying to see tiny stuff today & every day.

I think I can post and preview my posts and edit them ALL at once without formatting now! OMG! Go me! I must have turned into a computer genius now like both my H & daughter combined.

I think even I was once a newbie 7 years ago and couldn't understand the word "a" as she reads her own posts! And understanding common emojis we all use. Even all my *****! non-censored words!? Dam mit. Drat. I mean! SHYT acid is not cool. Don't do it. I have not experimented with it ever. Thankfully. I think (purposeful alliteration trying to be funny as I edit to flow some, here).


I don't even want to restart my computer to get MSF attempt to read on my Google Chrome or Firefox browswer now! I suddenly this browswer SHYT genius stuff! I should work in IT by now! I can even refresh the page faster as I edit & proofread! I can suddenly intentionally type the word "it" or "you" AND a handle! as I toggle Chrome and whatever else SHYT I'm doing online (possibly all my social media counts I never even check at all except NextDoor. FB I post my art & leave so my art fans on FB can comment or laugh about. (Chrome just started working suddenly for me without a restart button.) Fantastic, F* the ****ing up ****er you are! I could even banned ban from all the social media I had when I didn't even have 1 post here as a newbie 7 years ago!

I have found the most wonderful solution to get the flow more controllable & readable I hope, without losing a long book. This forum should become a #1 NY bestseller! See how fast I now can edit?! Or attempt to edit. One day I could be the editor of the NY times! Oh, I wish I could move to NY and not TX in the USA! It's cooler (cooler cool) weather temperature wise there, and NY people might all be geniuses! Even the homeless. NY people could probably escape the death penalty. Like James the Ripper? or the Zodiac Killer.

See how fast I go with NO bottom page ads as I don't support MSF with ads today! I could eat my meals & watch good TV I actually like!

Oh, wow! This browser even has all my bookmarks & logins I use practically daily like my bank account! Should I talk about billions as I give you a false Paypal lead from spammers! Who would ever guess the real me by that point

I have eaten lunch, washed, dried & folded my laundry remembering my need to want to really help and consider emotions on MSF.

I am worried my post won't even be even seen by anyone, so I am going to leave this forum for a while. I hope you get better @Blueberrybook God only knows I have been where you are countless times, and the people here always welcome me back. Do what you have to - but you should really reach back out to your pdoc

I am now multi tasking and editing on my iPad which is slow that way everyone can understand, I hope and hope i hope and believe I am a Kanrgoo in Australia! Shoot! Everyone lied lying low. We love it.👏Congratulations me!

I’m awake now! Missed nutrition class but I told her my meds are making me exhausted!

Wow 3 1/2 hours!

I'm sure you're fine.

I'm exhausted and I probably have slept this past 24 hours! I don't remember any dreams though.

(On my computer now). I will try to reply with quotes, but it might not work.

I even drank water & ate lunch with an avocado!


Even simple words like "a" "and""ate" literally alliterate in my brain right now. My head is spinning.

I just called the pdoc, but I had to leave a voicemail.

Everyone hopes he calls my back soon Perhaps I should!

I can't always read my own stuff on this thinking I am the best genius now at everything!

@LadyShadow - Be careful with magnesium though. If you overdo what your own body is able to handle at any point you will have terrible diarrhea and not go anywhere. That is nifty if you have an upcoming colonscopy or don't even drink water in the next 24 hr. like I had after stomach surgery with an IV!

I cannot refresh this page after I copy & post a single word, so bear with me.

I got my permanent dentures. they fit really nicely. Nyx is on her way here.