I'm pretty antisocial and trying to get things done right now. If anyone wants anything, you can always reach me. My daughters are visiting and I'm trying to work hard now so I won't feel guilty about slowing down when they get here. If anyone hasn't checked out my book blog yet, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take a look and forward it to anyone you think who might be interested. I'm trying to promote it around the web, but I lack time to do a good job. Let me know what you think!
Extreme Emails

[greentires4me]

I am just restlessness I want to have a nap but its not working...and I only had 3hours of sleep I feel like a zombie...

have been dead for two days. yesterday, had therapy and crochet club, then whole family went for a drive for the rest of the evening, then i went to the store alone. decided to get crafty and make crap to hang on my daughter's walls so her room isn't so bare...

but still dead. pretty much slept until noon. daughter doesn't get into things, stayed right with me in the living room and played quietly, such a good girl. son slept in our bedroom until he got hungry and then ate and then we both sort of fell back asleep.

then finally made myself coffee and drew with daughter for a little while until she was ready for a nap. then i started working on an alphabet garland for her room. i am contemplating how to cut R out of a folded piece of paper...

have felt sick all week and now getting my *** kicked by mother nature. fun.

but at least it's beautiful outside.

[poptart316]

I still can't get it together. I didn't do what I said I was going to do yesterday, instead I just slept and have been sleeping all day today so far. I'm seeing my therapist soon, seems pointless.

[beautifulfreak]

Had a horrible day, yet again. Tried to keep distracted as best as I could.went into forums etc. So sick of it all. … sick of trying and failing. So many meds, no improvements. Depressed, anxious and can't ever get much sleep. Just want to give up…maybe I already have? I have probably said this a million times but I want to end this gut-wrenching internal pain and the horrible emptiness. It is lonely.

[youwillrise]

had to cancel my therapy session for this week. hopefully there wont be any problems and we can just make an appt for next week. i usually have them every saturday afternoon, but this saturday i cant do it. ((shrugs)).

I am feeling good This is the best that I have felt in quite sometime

Today's a better day.

Today is not bad, pretty chill actually.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I told Arvind I would visit him today, but I am exhausted from another particularly intense SHMW session. I miss visiting his neighborhood, but I am so gd tired and demoralized right now.

I am having some more bad thoughts.

So hard to stay positive.

was doing okay most of the day. until i saw husband was off work and went to eat at our favorite restaurant (showed up on our card balance online) but only bought enough for himself. got a little upset, but then remembered yesterday he said he was going to donate plasma and get some money for his cards, and then i was okay again...

and then a couple hours later i saw he had bought something at a bookstore, and i figured he was on his way home then.

but now, another hour later, it's 7 and getting dark and he's not home...

went ahead and fed daughter because i was waiting on dinner until husband got home but seeing as how daughter goes to bed at 8 or so it's dumb to wait any longer...

i know he deserves to get out without me or the kids once in a while - he lets me get out so why not... but it just sucks. at least when i want out i'm honest and say i can't stand everyone at the moment and just want to get away...but he gets away and doesn't say anything, is gone for hours and has left his phone at home...

so...feeling pretty down. at least when i'm out i still keep in touch...

if he doesn't want to be around he needs to just say so...i don't blame him for wanting to get away, either...i'm not good company...

drowning my sorrows in coffee and crocheting.

Felt pretty good today. Work went by sooooo slowly though. Longest day ever. Other than that, yeah, it was a pretty mellow day and now a mellow night. Doing very well.

By the way, while I know everyone is in a different place in their journey, and we all need to take care of ourselves, can we refrain from talking publicly about how we're going to stay away from depressing or emotionally charged threads? There are people here who are shy about posting (and thus, getting involved with a helpful community) because they're afraid of what others think of what they post, and I'm also thinking that statement may be just as triggering for some people as depressing posts are for others.

I'm probably going to get blasted for saying this but...that's okay.

[greentires4me]

I had a relaxing morning with a massage at massage therapy then had a stressful afternoon with new team change now I am just trying to take it easy until its time for bed...after the hockey game...

[bri1394]

It's 12:30, I'm tired but don't want to go to sleep(weird?), stressing over a paper due to tomorrow, and angry that someone ate my last vanilla yogurt.��

[Shaedow]

Hi. My name is Shaedow. I was diagnosed with BPD approx 2 yrs ago. I was fine on meds prescribed until recently when I began having episodes of heightend depression, disassociation, overwhelming anxiety & panic attacks. I spent a wk in hosp where med changes were made then a wk @ a crisis unit as a Step down b4 returning home. So far the new meds r workin well with only a few mild episodes of anxiety. I am sincerely hopeful that the new regimen will hold me thru....8

[Shaedow]

Hi. My name is Shaedow. I was diagnosed with BPD approx 2 years ago. Meds were workin well until recently when I began experiencing heightened depression, dissociation, anxiety, & panic attacks. I spent a wk in hosp where med chgs were made then a wk @ a crisis unit as a step-down b4 returning home. I am hopeful that the new med regimen will work well 4 me....

I'm here. on the bus. omw to work. I guess that's good. at least it's Friday.

Originally Posted by misskeena

Felt pretty good today. Work went by sooooo slowly though. Longest day ever. Other than that, yeah, it was a pretty mellow day and now a mellow night. Doing very well.

By the way, while I know everyone is in a different place in their journey, and we all need to take care of ourselves, can we refrain from talking publicly about how we're going to stay away from depressing or emotionally charged threads? There are people here who are shy about posting (and thus, getting involved with a helpful community) because they're afraid of what others think of what they post, and I'm also thinking that statement may be just as triggering for some people as depressing posts are for others.

I'm probably going to get blasted for saying this but...that's okay.

I don't think there's anything wrong with people speaking their mind. It's not judging anyone in particular or pointed in any way. It's not talking about specific behaviors being wrong or bad, it's just talking about one's own place at that point and time.

I'm sorry keena, I don't disagree with a lot of what you say but this time I do.

[beautifulfreak]

So far, I am having an extremely awful day. Intense emotions. Hurting so much.

Existing…not living

Here...trying to work on stuff but way too easily distracted. Nothing new. Life goes on and I guess I can't complain too much.

grumpy cat makes me giggle.


doing all right today. woke up in a good enough mood, haha, and finally made some slippers for son! considering slippers for daughter but she probably wouldn't wear them, haha.

coffee and crocheting again. oh, and making a menu for the next few weeks. yay

[greentires4me]

I woke up three times at 3,6:30, finally at 9:30...I have lots to do today bake like a gong show of cookies then make pasta salad make up platters for sandwiches go to an appointment for an ultra sound...feeling like a chicken with its head cut off

[greentires4me]

Originally Posted by greentires4me

I woke up three times at 3,6:30, finally at 9:30...I have lots to do today bake like a gong show of cookies then make pasta salad make up platters for sandwiches go to an appointment for an ultra sound...feeling like a chicken with its head cut off

aww sorry. let's just hope you don't look like that chicken. That would be weird.

[greentires4me]

ultra sound done just waiting for the groceries to start on the food...feeling a bit lifted but forgot to get my pills so trying to put it into my time of when to go get them.