[greentires4me]

I have the most boring of days I sit on here all day long answering posts...I walk to the pharmacy and back thats my 30min walk or work out for the day.

I am feeling blah today....first it started in the shower where i forgot to shave my arm pits then my umbrella did inside out twist due to windy weather, I forgot kleenex, I almost got soaked by a truck going around a corner with a huge puddle and someone tried to hit me in a 4 way stop

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

go get one of the mmo games I play and join me tonight. yeah I know you're gonna go "pfft, gaming?"

Um, yeah, hi. I love gaming. I only play free games like Star Legends and Arcane Legends (which are probably the silly ones) but my browser (Chrome) hasn't been letting me get into them lately. Stupid. I need an Xbox so that I can be one of the cool kids and play Skyrim but I have other things that I need to spend my money on, namely getting myself out of the debt that being an impulsive spender has gotten me into. (Not a huge debt but it'll take me about six months of picking up extra shifts to get out...and I like to spend my extra money on things like Detroit Tigers tickets and otherwise having fun when I actually can.)

What do you play?

Originally Posted by greentires4me

aw pumpkin we can sit and be bored together...

Aw, yay.

Whenever I feel like this though, I plan food into my night. Like, yay, I'm going to order a pizza and open a bottle of wine. That's my fun. Aaand that's why I have 50lbs. that I'm unable to lose. I'm usually fairly good about counting calories and eating right (thanks, Myfitnesspal.com) but when I get bored it all goes out the window. And pizza is soooooo gooooood. But then I eat so much and feel guilty and hate myself. Yeah, I have an eating disorder. Whut.

People's problems are getting to me, again. I've given what little I can, I've helped as much as I can. I can do no more. Sorry. It's not been a very good week and I'm dreading the weekend.

[kala83]

today has not gone well for me. For the firs time in weeks I broke down and started crying cause I realize that romantic luck with guys is really poor compared to girls.

what I mean is that i have a girlfriend whom I love and adore a ton, but she know I will not feel fully complete or happy until I find a primary male in my life as well. And when I look back t on the men I find attractive or try to date. They usually end up wanting something physical from me and not really anything romantic or relationship wise. Even though I tell them out right I want to have a romantic partner I don't just only want sex.

one of the guys I was dating for a while here in town, is really making my depresion flucuate cause he does like me and he does care about me...but he really has issues with intimacy and showing his emotions. Saying that he does not feelings for me...but then doing things that totally counteract what he said.....
I know in the long run I have no one to blame but myself for my mishaps and pain that I have my life... and I do seem to be learning from them. But some times be confronted with the feelings of hurt from my past is too much for me to deal with. And sometimes its too easy to bring those feelings to the surface too

Originally Posted by Maranara

People's problems are getting to me, again. I've given what little I can, I've helped as much as I can. I can do no more. Sorry. It's not been a very good week and I'm dreading the weekend.

Best thing to do when in this situation is to not read posts and maybe read the lighter threads it is what I try to do.

No need to apologize either after all it is what the forum is for posting our problems.

[youwillrise]

today has just been a day. i cant even identify what im feeling today. today's just...here.

[hungryghost]

I feel hopeful and fairly calm today.

[greentires4me]

I read 5 chapters of a book to pass the time...but I am still blah started up a coughing fit and couldn't stop for 3mins about. thinking about carving into my banana bread and giving it to the staff on shift tonight but not sure I want to do that she is always talking about herself and never doing any sort of help to the person standing in front of her.

feeling really self-conscious about what i write. have at least two topics i want to write about, one of which i'd like advice on, and another topic that i want to talk to someone about but am scared because of what it entails and whether or not i'm just being paranoid...

but just can't write about it...

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am amazed at how powerless I really am over other ppl.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by greentires4me

I have the most boring of days I sit on here all day long answering posts...I walk to the pharmacy and back thats my 30min walk or work out for the day.

I am feeling blah today....first it started in the shower where i forgot to shave my arm pits then my umbrella did inside out twist due to windy weather, I forgot kleenex, I almost got soaked by a truck going around a corner with a huge puddle and someone tried to hit me in a 4 way stop

Sounds like one of those days. I have had them. UGH.

Carol

Working....working the next 11 days straight during the day so I'll be around A LOT. If anyone wants to send me anything or strike up a conversation now and then I'm all for it. I get withdrawn and lonely when I work so much.
Otherwise....I'm doing okay so far, but it's still early and the brain isn't working all the way just yet.

nervous. husband stayed home today too, and then he's off tomorrow so this is interesting. hasn't happened....ever.

remembered something kind of important to help me in my search for my father but scared to talk to the person i want to ask because it's been a while since i talked to him and worried he won't respond or will say not to bother him anymore and yeah...

so...anxious. nervous. just want to forget.

[BorderlineMess]

I'm really nervous. I'm about to go get a haircut and I'm just really nervous. I've been to this particular stylist before but not his new place. I'm afraid it'll be all fancy and artistic and beautiful model people and there's plain ol' me. Overweight and ugly, trying to pretend to be beautiful. I wish I had more confidence in myself. I mean, I'm trying to lose weight....even though it'll probably be the 100th time I've tried. But I'm still trying, dangit. *sigh* I'm just so nervous.

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

I'm really nervous. I'm about to go get a haircut and I'm just really nervous. I've been to this particular stylist before but not his new place. I'm afraid it'll be all fancy and artistic and beautiful model people and there's plain ol' me. Overweight and ugly, trying to pretend to be beautiful. I wish I had more confidence in myself. I mean, I'm trying to lose weight....even though it'll probably be the 100th time I've tried. But I'm still trying, dangit. *sigh* I'm just so nervous.

i know exactly how you feel, haa... i have sworn off haircuts until i lose all my baby weight. and even then, i'll probably cut it myself, haha...

[hungryghost]

Feeling cranky/bitter/impatient/restless today. I should channel the restless energy into something useful, but I probably won't.

note to self: breaking things is not useful. do not do it. damn this feeling.

Bit scary been hearing voices on and off most of the day.

[greentires4me]

today I walked through the pouring rain on side of town to no rain on the other to pick up my meds and back again...I walked reasonably slow slower then normal some how I was just in it for me to walk today since I woke up at 8:30...really its more like 3am 5:30am. My psychiatrist says I should just start my day but the pharmacy isn't open at 3am in the morning.

I am trying to decide if I should go to my folks for the weekend or not...I have pills until Monday. But they make me on edge and I seem to always feel unwanted there.

today I feel like a rollercoaster of emotions from sad, to depressed, to anxious to miserable, to indifferent to disappointed to puzzled to lonely to intrigued

[youwillrise]

therapy in just a little over half an hour.

ive just been home. a little sleepy today. or maybe im just bored?

im okay, though.

[youwillrise]

change that...now im ANNOYED.

my mother & stepfather decided to go to sears to check out beds...why they couldnt wait until after my therapy to go, i dont know. they're my ride there. stepfather fell asleep on one of the beds ((rolls eyes)) and they're JUST leaving the mall now and im already supposed to be there. if i knew they were gonna be late...i would have arranged another way there or just walked.

bah.hum.fug

Just got off work....one down, ten to go. Was somewhat productive today. Got a drawing I drew yesterday colored today. Feeling the depression sink in. I hate nights.

I don't know how I'm feeling today.

[greentires4me]

I just got off the phone with the crisis line it was the suggestion of the staff downstairs with the way I was feeling on my ranging feelings so I gave them a call so on scale between 1 to 10 I am about 7 now for suicidal feelings...I was a 7.5 when I got off the phone. I have thinking about it for the last two days strongly even suggested on mood journal I keep on my phone I could run in front of a train. But now I am listening to music in attempts to drown it all out. I am sorry if this triggers anyone...

Was feeling pretty good.....crawling back under my rock for a while. Sigh.....