Been feeling bored and empty today. Just the same old feelings of not knowing quite what to do with myself, what to do with my time, with the hours of my day. But I feel like, if I had a million friends and all of my free time filled, I would still feel this empty feeling inside. Maybe not as much, but I would probably still feel it.

I've been praying a lot lately which I never do (because I thought I lost my faith), but I feel like I need to believe that someone is watching out for me. I don't want to be all alone in this. I don't want this to be the way I am, the way I feel, for the rest of my life (or, heaven forbid, that I get worse).

I hate people.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

I hate people.

Me too.

Seriously, today has been ****ing bull****.

[greentires4me]

I seriously hate going to home hardware...we are always returning stuff and I never get a potted plant.

went to NSA again today I came back looking at the sky wondering why I was tripping over everything had to put sunglasses on I look desperately weird...I don't know why I do those sorts of things but I do.

[MiniButterfly]

Hating how I am feeling. No friends, talked to t this week about it. Will be talking more about it. Feeling down and useless. Wanting to curl up and forget everything around for awhile.

Feel totally numb today.

[greentires4me]

went and visited a friend to check out her new apartment she has a small kitchen and a living room but lots of wall space to hang up pictures and such. makes mine feel massive like the kitchen part.

overall feeling just blah today

Feeling a little bit nervous and anxious today but did some much needed house cleaning and am trying to relax by catching up on some episodes online of a show I've started watching. I'm just nervous about working at my per diem job on Sunday afternoon; I don't work there often and I don't want to have a bad assignment when I go in. I'm such a worrier.

[salsharia]

Wanted to go out. Got ready. Didn't hear from friends. Started realizing I don't have many. felt lonely. Isolated. Wanted to move back to my home town. Cried hysterically all night. Wanted to disappear. Was planning an escape. My "sort of" boy friend texted me finally after ignoring me. I can talk to him about my feelings and only him. Every one else always thinks I am fine. After texting him I finally feel better. Not my eyes are burning and I feel ashamed that I allowed myself to become so devastated.

[greentires4me]

today I had shower but last night I was feeling worthless, hopeless,and all alone I called the crisis line hoping to get a good result it was that icky guy on their that I didn't like that respond. I had to just deal with it and get over his lackluster approaches he usually has.this time he was less lackluster but still wanted to know if I was SI to kill myself or Cope I said cope...kinda hard to kill yourself with just cutting personally unless you went for the artery in your neck or your hips area. Anyway we talked some and when I got off the phone I SI myself again by accident.I took my meds and went to sleep....

today after having a shower I finished packing my bag I am going to see my parents and sister for the weekend.

I feel excited but at the same time anxious and worried,....

[hezaa82]

I went out with some work friends yesterday and it was fun and I felt good, but I'm still having feelings of abandonment and rejection. Those friends all work together at the same kindergarten while I work at a kindergarten by myself so seeing them being close and being up to date on each other's lives makes me feel abandoned. Big parties are fun but I still wish I had a close friend I could have a heart to heart with. Feeling ok today because I know I'm going out clubbing tonight. but clubbing is just another way to fill the emptiness I guess...

I saw the new Star Trek movie on IMAX 3D yesterday (SO good) and while out to dinner with my friend afterward she asked if I thought I was broken. I responded that I did. She said she didn't know who told me that I was, but that I wasn't. That's the first time I remember hearing that. I've been told that I was so many times, most recently by the mental health system, that I just resigned myself to believing that I was and that I was un-fixable. But it's true--I have some things going on with me, but I'm not broken.

[salsharia]

Feeling sad, empty, lonely and unmotivated. Realizing that this will pass but I have nothing to look forward to so it doesn't matter anyway.

[salsharia]

Originally Posted by MiniButterfly

Hating how I am feeling. No friends, talked to t this week about it. Will be talking more about it. Feeling down and useless. Wanting to curl up and forget everything around for awhile.

I hope you feel better.

Been feeling ok today although was a bit snappy this morning.
Worrying about Thursday and taking my husband to see my T with me, I have no idea how this will go.

[greentires4me]

going for the weekend didn't end up happening rob was being a pain in my butt saying hes too tired and today his excuse is he doesn't feel well to go out into public welll everyone just sucks baloney I am making a protest here and now I am going to go back to bed and pretend the world doesn't exist either and everyone are just a-holes....bah humbug...

[UnderTheRose]

Felt tired and unmotivated but agitated all day. Thought about all the things I should do, but didnt do them. Cancelled the inlaws twice-monthly dinner visit. Just didnt feel up to getting the house prepared. Plus she always cleans everything anyhow, and it makes me feel like she's picking me apart. Sat outside, felt the wind blowing on my face, cried a bit. Had a shower, feel a bit better but now husband is glaring at me for being such a hag all day.

I feel pretty good today.

[UnderTheRose]

Feeling alright but can't stop eating

[greentires4me]

my eyes are so itchy.....stupid flying cotton...and spores of other things...

My question is why do they sell tylenol in 200Tabs....but advil in 60Tabs? its like they are enabling overdoses

[UnderTheRose]

I read about the cotton and thought -- someone else must be in BC, lol

[SaraSkyblue]

I feel completely hopeless today :C

[LostAngel0616]

Okay, so it's been a few days since I've been on. Been having okay days, just sort of making it by. I did finally get to my appointment for the pregnancy and got an ultrasound. Everything seems to be normal with the baby's development. I sort of got excited that day, but ever since my depression, not so much anxiety, has been getting worse and worse. I don't want to shower or get up and go anywhere. Yet I'm so lonely... Things just aren't going well emotionally...

Feeling a bit out of control but not unreasonably so. I have gotten wrapped up in my new obsessions and it's both frustrating and exhilarating. Thing is this is why I don't finish a lot of things I start. I was way into 3d modeling and learning a lot but have slipped away from that with my being drawn back into drawing and 2d art. Possibly it's the transition from one obsession to the other that's causing the feeling of being out of control.

[LostAngel0616]

Well, yesterday I did eventually force myself to shower. I'm smoking outside now, both in efforts to try to quit and to get myself outside my four walls. Still feeling depressed and lonely. I have a really hard time reaching out to friends to go do things. Mostly because I don't really have money to spend right now.