[greentires4me]

I overdosed last night...I couldn't take anymore of the despair and hopelessness and loneliness...then i got a lecture from a cop about doing this all and the card with her email on it.

Originally Posted by greentires4me

I overdosed last night...I couldn't take anymore of the despair and hopelessness and loneliness...then i got a lecture from a cop about doing this all and the card with her email on it.

This may sound harsh, and believe me, I understand the motivation behind overdosing (I've done it twice before), but you're going to ruin your liver and/or kidneys if you don't stop with the overdosing, my dear. Trust me when I tell you that is not a pleasant thing to have happen. I know you don't need one more lecture, but try to find a way to distract yourself when those urges come up. That's what PC is here for.

I know I've said it before (I created a whole thread saying it), but I just want to be normal. I want to be myself. I don't feel like myself these days, haven't felt like myself since I got out of the hospital this past December. That was my fourth time in the hospital. What happened this time that was so hard on me mentally that it broke me? I wish I knew the answer to that. Either that, or I wish I could just snap out of whatever cloud I'm in that makes me feel not like myself and go back to being me.

[ReddSN]

I woke up this morning extremely anxious, but as my day went on I found myself in the middle of a positive distraction and it really turned my day around. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. Then I came home and found that a friend has left me (because of my behaviour over the past few days, I've been in quite a few panics and have not been able to control my lashing out) so that sent me reeling. Then another friend said she can't handle my mental issues any more and is unwilling to be there for me in that way. so with that, I've pretty much lost everyone. Hello PC, you will be seeing a lot more of me, ha.

[shortandcute]

I started DBT Therapy today....

End of my Thursday... so I can say TGIF soon... then the weekend what more could I ask for?

[ReddSN]

I went to the doc today and got some new meds. I'm a bit nervous. He gave me Lexapro/Cipralex which I see is a lot like celexa. I was on celexa and had horrible side effects and it did nothing to help my depression or anxiety really- I just couldn't express it. Like I was trapped in my body, I couldn't cry or orgasm or any extremes. I'm afraid it will happen again with this, although the doc assured me Lexapro was better than Celexa.

[greentires4me]

well today I laid in bed all day long my mom called to pick me up we went to the pharmacy she dropped me off I went to the pharmacy then took the bus home then walk home from the stop.

I feel rather lazy and depressed in some sorta funk today

Almost the end of this friday workday - a good thing.

Should have my car on the road very soon! a VERY good thing.

Other than minor irritability because of a coworker (remote in a different location) sending chat messages about irrelevant or stupid crap all day.. everything is good here.

[greentires4me]

talked to the lead tenant support worker formally known as my landlord you know what most of things she said were correct and other things she said were just completely out of her butt....but the truth be told sometimes I think I am doing the best I can and she wants more from me...in this harsh reality..

so I am doing some laundry going down to check on it...

[shortandcute]

today I got an official dx of borderline personality disorder; i've known it for quite some time but i guess now it's official (I was told last year that i had "borderline traits")

[greentires4me]

today I walked into town to the pharmacy to get my meds....blah I sound so boring...

I feel super bored and out of shape...

[salsharia]

I hurt so much I want to throw my computer. WHYYYY is it always over a guy? .... My relationships are like groundhog day. Same pattern. over and over and over and over.

I want to die.

[AceNeurotic]

Got Some Thoughts Racing in my head, feeling guilty for no reason again. But I am like this most of the time anyhow.

I'm having some really dark thoughts like that I don't want to be here anymore. I don't have any way to act on them, but I just wish that my life were in a better spot so that I wouldn't have these thoughts. I don't have any joy; I just wake up, go to work (or, if I'm not working, go back to sleep again or watch TV) and then come home again and go to bed. Being around the very, very few friends I have does not bring happiness. I see my life in shades of gray, yet I don't feel depressed. I must be though. This just...sucks. I want to feel like a regular, happy, non-anxious, non-depressed person again.

[Luvmydog]

Had a few poor reactions to things that my wife said to me. Was all my fault, misinterpretation of what she said. Packed a boxful of dishes, but feel sad. Not exactly sure why.

[greentires4me]

I woke up and did my laundry took my morning meds and pill for allergies...heated up leftovers from last night...

I feel depressed, sad, despair, loneliness, boredom, and good

[ReddSN]

Seems a lot of us are feeling the same way today. Misskeena, I could have written your post, many days. I'm having a lot of dark thoughts today too. I would never act on them. But sometimes, it seems it would be easier. Or that I deserve it.

I'm having a rough day today. I started new meds on Thursday. Friday and Saturday, i felt awesome. well. had side effects. but emotionally, I was happy and with it. Well. then I thought, well. it can't be the meds working that quickly, it must just be me! I can do this! So. I didn't take them Last night. This morning? down in the dumps and crabby. Then one of my big triggers came up this morning, and now I am a mess. Alternating between angry and lashing out, to sad and depressed, to wanting to beat myself up because I am so worthless.

[shortandcute]

feelin' very depressed and discouraged; we've had an inside dog and some cats for quite a while now; there have been so many accidents that the house stinks all the time no matter what i do. i'll have to replace the carpet but that costs money, and its very difficult for me to do a whole lot anyway. im thinking about relinquishing the pets also, because its just too much for me.................

[jadedbutterfly]

feeling down... well maybe more anxious. I do not like people in my apartment, this is my safe place
I live in an apt building, been here 14 years now.. very nicely kept up, tight security. I really like the managers and the maintenance guys. The maintance guys I am okay with... they are "safe" , they talk with me, make me laugh all the time.
But ... tomorrow morning there are hired contractors coming to clean the windows. Contractors.. do not trust. Creeps me out that they will be in here
I will have to move all plants and anything I think that these clumsy people might either break or get wet. this is not an easy task.

[shortandcute]

I'm in a lot of pain right now; and I had a dream last night that I blew up at my daughter.

[Flooded]

I'm in pain too, shorty Can't sleep (its past midnight here) and I'm trying to keep a lid on myself while my pdoc is away and so far doing an okay job. Hope it stays that way!

[jadedbutterfly]

Getting ready for DBT.... I really don't want to go today, I feel l like I did the homework sheet wrong... and I hate it when a leader "walks" someone through it.

I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. I don't know what saying this here will do but bring others down (I'm sorry) but I feel like I need to tell someone. I feel trapped. Just...struggling right now.