What are these Emotions and are they safe?

What do you do when you have never had emotions and they are hitting you at once and it seems you have no where to turn? You have no idea how to cope with them and they do not seem to make any sense? Feels as though you are going to be in trouble if you dare feel them yet you cannot turn them off for they are like a faucet that seems broken.

Right now emotions are raging and I cannot find an off button. Maybe there should not be an off button but when you never had then there is no instruction book for them either. It hurts and is scary to feel so much and not know how to feel them or what to do with them now that they are here. It feels as though I will sink in the flood of the tears and the fear shakes as though a storm is here. Although the fear feels so familiar and something I have always known when it mixes with everything else it feels out of control.

Tears fall and sometimes you wonder where they come from or if they will ever stop. And it feels so wrong or like you will be punished and you try to hide it but it screams almost as loud as the voice wanting them to stop. But something inside you tells you they are needed to heal but another part is terrified of what it means. It sometimes feels as though they will never end. Is it normal to feel this and is it okay to allow them to come? Why does it hurt so much and why is it so uncontrollable?

Everywhere we look seems there is a flow of emotions of some kind, and all we know is it is scary and yet something we cannot stop and feels as though it is needed. Are we alone? Will we be okay?

dps

(((( dear one ))))

Rhiannon did catch the broad side of the sword across her buttocks for answering in a way that suggested someone "should do" something rather than suggest they "might do" something. I answer for her now when I tell you dear one that you will be arights, you could possibly allow your self to feel what ever feeling comes your way and then release it to free your mind from it and from the pain it instils wihtin you

For those who have never felt emotion it must be a very difficult thing to deal with when all of the years of emotions come rushing to you at one time. What possible chance would one have being so overwhelmed? I do wonder?

I know that Rhiannon pushes thoughts & emotions away and prioritises the most painful as being the least important, though I do understand why. One must clear ashes from the hearth if they wish to build a new fire, and it is the little things which block the path to the big things

I wish you nurturing and support dear one, both you so richly and dearly deserve, particularly since you give so much to others with no sign of your own pain, when they need it

Morgana
(I do wish Rhiannon would disown herself of this image below it is utterly repugnant)

((DPS)) You sound overwhelmed. While I may not have answers to your questions exactly what helps me in these moments is journaling. I write/type what ever pops into my head and I try not to make sense of it. I just let it flow. I then try and make sense of it later by sharing it with T. I find if I don't write it down then I lose my thoughts/feelings. Feelings kind of 'come up' to the surface for me and it takes me a while to process things.

In general I hate any feelings that resemble discomfort: anger, confrontation etc.. I was trained growing up that I was bad/wrong for having these feelings and it's hard to change that but I'm working on it as frustrating as it may be much of the time (I've become an expert at repressing feelings).

There's a part of me in my heart that my head can't get to. A wall if you will that I wish I could break down and let those feelings go. If I could do that then I could find peace.

Wishing you peace.

(((DPS))) You will be okay.

I have an increase in anxiety whenever there are thunderstorms around, having been disabled during one. Then, when hurricanes are heading this way, I feel frozen inside from fear, though I can function and look "normal" on the outside. It's the PTSD from the original disabling injury.

First I learned to "allow" the emotions. Trying to stuff or fight them--or even reason them away--made them worse. So I try to "accept" that this occurs, won't last forever, won't harm me, is natural for me in such a situation, etc.

Then, I added in an herb to help me calm and to also counteract the cortisol that seems to run constantly through my body (holy basil.) My MD recently added ashwangandha to this mix, which also does the same as holy basil. Once I realize I'm frozen with fear and it's "just" my body's response to exterior elements, I take more of those herbs and find some relief.

I agree, you sound overwhelmed. Whether it's from depression and something else etc doesn't matter when you're feeling that way, right? If you can take time to actually sit with them, sit down and focus on them and be okay with how you are feeling (not make yourself quit feeling them but accepting that you are feeling them), breathe and tell yourself some affirming comments (I'll be okay, this won't kill me, this too shall pass, I'm overwhelmed but doing good) then try and put the "reasons" on the shelf and go on with your day (or to bed if time) ... I think they will lose some of their grip.

Breathe hon.

(((DPS))) All I can say is I am feeling very similar at the moment. I hope you find some comfort.

(((dps)))

I can relate. I don't like these feelings overwhelming me either. No fun, nor is it comfortable in any way.

I can tell you what I am doing to make it through these dark times: journaling my experiences a bit ~ the trigger and the emotions and thoughts brought up. From there, every time it pops up in my mind, I push it away. Try to think about something else. My comfort comes from nature, so I think of trees and grass blowing in a gentle breeze. I imagine being in that place as much as possible whenever I am overcome by my intense emotions.

I'm anxious to discuss what I've written in therapy, but I have to wait. So, I'm pushing it away as much as possible. Don't know if that's the technique one should aim for in these times, but that's what I've got. Gentle hugs to you

((((((Shez))))))
I can relate with your emotions? I feel terribly overwhelemed and in a neverending downward spiral. Ugh!! I find myself in a dark forest with a black bear and. I can see his glowing eyes gleaming down at me and. I'm scared outta my mind and. I try really hard not to scream. I just can't control my urge to let one out?! I also just tend to allow my emotions wash over me. I sometimes wonder if hmmm well maybe. I'm in a bad place in my life right now and. I can't seem to focus at the moment but hmmm!!
I do really want to though but. I'm so nervous that. I feel hopeless and where ever. I go huh just can't do anything right? I want to though just make it better but eveytime. I do that it seems to not go my way and maybe. I just want to go and get on with it.

((((dps))))) I can empathize with your description - for me it feels like I'm drowning in the emotions - and they come in waves. I am working on mindfulness, meditation in therapy to be better able to handle them and to understand the emotions - tease out what they are, describe them, and hopefully understand where they come from but I'm only at the beginning and it is really hard work. JD, geez and shezbut all have really good suggestions for you (and me too!).

Take care of yourself, dps - you are a beacon of hope to me - I thank you for all that you do and the support you have shown me.

((((Morgana, geez, (JD),PleaseHelp,shezbut,gelfling))))

Thank you all for responding and I hope you all can find peace with those emotions also. Today is so overwhelming with emotions and memories that I feel I am being pulled apart within, an internal battle so to speak. Nothing makes sense and I feel so confused.

There seems to be nowhere to really attach these emotions too even though they go to the memories it seems I am being flooded too much to understand or even get any grip on anything at the moment. Tears have fell all day and an emptiness is filling me as I have push everyone away and shut down.

These emotions scare me and even though I know in my head that they cannot hurt me physically they are tearing me apart emotionally. I feel I have got a brick tied around my neck pulling me under. And I feel scared. But still I know I have to somehow feel these to get through them. All I want is to somehow find myself again for I feel so lost inside or somewhere.

Sometimes there is a feeling that it will never end and that the memories will never end. Fear is gripping and I shake even above the tears. Pain seems really close, closer than I want to admit. I feel exhausted and I have not done anything all day, but feel and remember.

Thank you all for your care and encouragement. I am trying to breath and journal. Seems I write for hours, sometimes nothing comes at other times I have pages. I appreciate you all very much. Hugs.

dps

(((( (((( (((( ((((dps)))) )))) ))) ))))

Sitting with you and letting you know you are not alone



Rhiannon


.

((((Rhiannon))))

That means more than you know. Thank you.

dps

(((((dps))))) I know it is overwhelming and frightening to feel so much all at once - but you are not alone and you will be okay. Those are all the emotions you never allowed yourself to experience throughout your life in order to survive the continual and horrific torture you were subjected to by your abusers, and also maybe because they were the only "real" thing about your life - they were genuine and a part of your true identity, so you held them deep within so as not to lose yourself. They have collected and pooled within you through the years and must be released now - but in releasing them perhaps you are afraid that you will lose part of yourself - the genuine part of your identity. Not so - in releasing those genuine emotions, you are allowing your true feelings and self to emerge from their hiding place - allowing your true identity to have a presence in reality. Emotions are intended to be expressed, not contained - just like a physical wound has to release an infection in order to heal. The more you release them, the more accustomed you will become to them and their intensity will lessen. Do not be afraid of those emotions - they are you just as your words are you - let them out so you can heal. Your Friend lynn09

((((Lynn09))))

Thank you dear friend. I am trying but I am scared. And I hear you and I think you are right. Hugs. Always.

dps

(((((((DPS)))))))
My dear we are all on your side? It's just the emotions taking advantage of you?
It's not fair or nice for you to suffer from them. It's
all normal as can ever be. We are all on your side and. It's better that way too. ((((DPS)))) We all look out for each other and. I don't always like my emotions control me but they're more strong and power that. I just let them to continue on
controling me?! It's hard for the emotions to let loose sometimes but. It's really hard as well and. I sometimes had hope if we could take our safe and not that safe emotions and throw them in the trash can but. I've tried to do that and. I don't succeed and even though. I've concentrated really hard too go and not change my mind here on any books. Best of Luck to you hun.
You're always in our thoughts and prayers.
Sending checkup prayers
to be sure you're okay
and wishes that
I'll hear from you today.
Keep in touch.

Love,
DREAMER!

((((nightdreamer))))

Thank you caring and for being here. I know that right now I feel so overwhelmed and not sure of all that is taking place. Knowing you and all are here listening and encouraging me helps more than you know. I am sorry that you are feeling so much right now too. Maybe together we can walk this through.

I appreciate you and your reaching out, know that we are also here for you. Take care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. always.

dps

Gentle hugs to you, nightdreamer.

I hope that you are able to find some peace inside during the scary downward spiral. Never any fun

(((DPS)))

It's scary to not be in control of our emotions (for me at least). I so admire you...You are stronger than you know...I wish I had a portion of your strength. Prayers and good thoughts for you my beautiful friend as you go through this stage of your healing.

Much love,

Susan

((((susan))))

Thank you hon. That means so much and I appreciate you too. Right now emotions have been running really high more than I really want to admit. Fear seems to have taken over and shut down has been right there. There seems to be some anger beginning to surface at least from a distance something I have not allowed myself to ever feel or even get close to.

Sometimes I feel myself pulling within trying to find someway to shut down and turn off yet knowing that in order to move forward I need to feel these feelings and emotions that seem to sneak in almost at times as though I may not catch my next breath. But thank you for caring hon and for your encouragement it means so much more than you know.

Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Much love to you my friend. Always.

dps

dps... i hear your frightened... i hear feelings like this are new for you.. i hear you wonder if it will end or if you can survive this. Crying in the begining was very much like that for us...it was a huge wave after wave... for us it did get better... it was a start of much better days to come... you need to try to hold on with all your might... ride the waves as best you can and calmer seas are ahead of you. crying is still scary for us but now we know it is good.. it is a release...and it will end.

your help to us in the pc community is great.. i am so glad you are finding your words and reaching out to all of us out here who care about you. let us give back to you. keep writing..

this will pass... hold on and it is to a better place i believe that

((((brittfly))))

Thank you hon. That meant so much to me. I am starting to find those feelings and emotions that I never knew existed and that have a reason. Though fear screams out inside somewhere I know that it is what needs to take place in order to heal. We have been in a shut down for a while but trying to reach back.

As scary as it is many of you are showing me in so many ways the strength each of you have and that it is possible. Each day that comes and goes emotions seem to get closer something none of us within are used to.

I appreciate your words and encouragment. Thank you. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thougths. Always.

dps