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#101
Oct 04, 2009, 02:16 PM
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 I don't live in Ontario so I Googled the province I live in for the human rights commission. Then I sent an e-mail with my question. |
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#102
Oct 04, 2009, 04:43 PM
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Quote:
   Sorry, (((Zen))). For some reason I had it in my head that you lived in Ontario (maybe because I used to live in Ontario?). Anyway, the site I gave you previously also has links to the sites for all of the other provinces. Hope the one you contacted responds to your e-mail soon. Let me know if you have any difficulty getting the info you need and I will help you sort through it. You're making positive step after positive step, Zen - so proud of you.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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 Zen888
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#103
Oct 05, 2009, 07:22 AM
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__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| lynn09, Zen888
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#104
Oct 05, 2009, 10:24 AM
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I found my brother's work e-mail address online. I sent an e-mail just making a simple request if he could give me an alternative e-mail address so that we could communicate with each other. He will either delete the e-mail and not read or just ignore me.
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| lynn09
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#105
Oct 05, 2009, 05:14 PM
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That's fine (((Zen))) - just don't drive yourself nuts sitting on pins and needles waiting for him to respond or not. You have made every reasonable effort to let him know that you want to maintain contact with him - now the ball is in his court. If he does not respond or responds negatively, just let it go and move on. You haven't locked the door - he knows how to reach you when and if he gets to the place in his own growth to reach out to you. Just please be careful not to set yourself up for more rejection and hurt with anyone, not just your brother. You are both strong and fragile at the same time - use your strengths to protect your fragility.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| Catherine2
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#106
Oct 05, 2009, 06:22 PM
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Dear Zen,
 by Lynn!! If your brother does not respond to your communications, it's about him Zen, not You, or your worth. People don't control other peoples feelings, or emotions, but we can choose how we *react* to their actions/inactions. Thinking of You, Holmes |
| Catherine2, lynn09, Zen888
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#107
Oct 05, 2009, 06:42 PM
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I am totally stressed out as usual. I have 2 daycare interviews this week. I know I should be thrilled and I am deep down inside.
If someone or all of you can knock some sense into my wee brain regarding the following I would GREATLY appreciate it more than you will ever know: 1. I have to get a criminal records check. I have never been arrested or convicted of any crime(s). The closest I have came to breaking the law is getting two red light speeding tickets. And when I was manic/psychotic in 2006 and hospitalized I was fined $265 for trespassing but the crown prosecuters office waved the charges since I had a doctor's letter explaining in detail my state of mind when I supposedly trespassed on hospital grounds. A friend of mine who worked in the legal system said that the fine amounted to a parking ticket not a criminal offense. 2. I have to get a child welfare check to see if I have ever been investigated for harming a child(ren). I have never intentionally hurt any children nor would I ever do so. I would rather harm myself than harm an innocent child(ren). It has been 3 years since I have worked with children and in those 3 years no one has contacted me (i.e. police, child protection services/child welfare, or social services). I think it sounds logical that if something did happen I would have been contacted by now? They wouldn't just have it "on file" and not notify me...etc? __________________ And I am pouting like a child because I have to update my CPR and First Aid certificate. I don't want to have to get up early spend all day in class learning about things that probably will never happen. In all my childcare experiences all I ever had to do was clean cuts/wounds and put a band aid on or give the child a hug and some comforting words of support. _________________ |
| lynn09
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#108
Oct 05, 2009, 07:29 PM
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Zen~
IMHO, Close your eyes, breath some deep breathes, & relax. You will have a better interview being relaxed! Now, with the interview questions, answer the question *period* no long discourse. Yes or no *period* If yes explain short & truthfully. Interviews are stressful & you may not want to stumble over your words, ex. the phrase "I have never intentionally harmed any children". Just short answers yes/no, rather than it's been 3 yrs & the police have not contacted you about abuse. About getting up early one day for a class in CPR & First Aid? You mention you probably will never have to use it....I hope your right, but what if a child did need CPR?.... and you could have helped but..... or you are at a restaurant with adults, someone starts choking -and You know CPR!!!  It's a life long skill ZEN!!!My Thoughts, Holmes |
| Catherine2, lynn09, Zen888
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#109
Oct 05, 2009, 10:54 PM
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Zen...lovely lady...please don't be so hard on yourself.
Everyone has given you good suggestions, and I hope they have helped you. Holmes is spot on about handling the interviews. Keep it in your head that the interviewers are not asking for your life history...they are interested in your ability to do the job and interact with the children, the other staff members, and possibly the parents. You know you can do this, Zen. Give yourself credit for what you can do--and let that show in your interviews. The way you present yourself to them is important; it's their first impression of you. It's expected that any applicant will be a bit nervous... Relax and be yourself. You are good, ya know? You wouldn't be pursing this if you had any doubts about your abilities to handle the responsibilities...let your confidence show...it's not being egotistical; it's recognizing your talents. In Peace
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
| lynn09, Zen888
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#110
Oct 06, 2009, 08:42 AM
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Thank-you so much for all your advice and words of wisdom!
 I don't want to come across as rude or pushy but no one answered my concerns regarding the criminal record check and the child welfare check. If somone could go read it and share their thoughts I would greatly appreciate it.
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| lynn09
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#111
Oct 06, 2009, 12:08 PM
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In reply 96, lyn09 gave you a website to check out; in your reply 101, you mentioned goggling your local province place for information...then emailing them If you have not received an answer, do it again. Or call... They will know the laws governing what a former employer can say regarding references... Others have give you very good suggestions on how to address these issues *if* they come up in an interview... Good luck and I hope you following up on it will be of help to you. Catherine
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
| lynn09, Zen888
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#112
Oct 06, 2009, 03:27 PM
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Dear Zen ~
I live in the States. As a teacher I went to the muncipality in which I lived & simply a requested a certified, legal document of my criminal background, I needed for a teaching position. No reasons or dicussions needed. I asked for the document, they gave it to me. I went to the Child Welfare Dept. requesting a certified, legal document declaring I have never abused children. I needed the legal papers for a teaching position. Again no explanations needed. The legal documents say it all. Zen all these legalities are obstacles for the "bad" guys out there, but you are a wonderful, great person! So relax please, go for your goal - to contribute to education & help make it a better world. That's the Zen I know & love. Just relax, & let them see you shine too. Best of Luck, Holmes |
| Catherine2, lynn09, Zen888
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#113
Oct 06, 2009, 08:48 PM
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(((Zen))), Sweetie - Catherine 2, mlpHolmes, Berries, I, and everyone else have all said it - RELAX! Understand what is happening here; your anxiety is being triggered by the interviews, criminal record check, and the child welfare check - all three of these make you feel like you are being examined under a microscope for the tiniest flaw that would reduce your value and worth as a human being. If there were anything "bad" in either of the background checks, you would already know about it. What you really want those reports for is to make certain that they are accurate - that information regarding some other person has not been accidentally applied to your history - just like checking your credit report. You are not going to be "interrogated" - you are simply requesting the printouts. Make certain that you retain copies of these reports for yourself - and if there are any discrepancies in those reports, get them corrected.As for the interviews, don't feel that you have to launch into detailed explanations of every facet of your life - just answer the interviewers' questions as honestly and briefly as possible - don't let your anxiety push you into "explaining" or "defending" yourself - you have nothing to explain or defend - you do not have to justify yourself - you are not on trial. You are an educated, trained, and experienced childcare professional. Sit down with yourself and pretend that you are the one interviewing someone for a position at YOUR childcare facility (maybe do this in front of a mirror). YOU become the employer - how would you conduct yourself as the interviewer? What would you want to hear from and see in the individual you are interviewing for the position? The only thing you would be interested in knowing is whether or not the applicant is qualified for the position and has provided all the necessary paperwork. I worked in Human Resources for many years - for the most part, employers aren't interested in hearing a bunch of "gossip" from previous employers about prospective employees because they realize that just because things didn't work out for an employee in a particular position for whatever reason, that doesn't mean they won't be a good "fit" for the new employer - all the new employer wants to know is if you provided accurate information regarding your dates of employement, duties, salary, attendance, etc. If you had absences or had to leave a position due to medical reasons for which you have since received treatment, then those matters are no longer relevant. Employers know that employees have medical problems - all they want to know is that whatever those problems are or were, they are not going to prevent you from fulfilling your duties in the new position. Again, regarding the CPR training - it is TRAINING. You are not there to be "judged" - it is required training for your position just like any other part of your childcare education and training. They do not expect you to be a "paramedic" - they just want you to know the basics and be able to handle such an emergency should it arise - not just for the children in your care - but for your co-workers, as well. You are allowing your anxiety to control your perception and thought processes - it is a petulant child - and, of course, anxiety always paints the darkest picture imagineable - always sees the worst-case scenario. Tell your anxiety to go sit in the corner and take a time out! You are an intelligent, educated, trained, capable, loving, and caring person, (((Zen))) - do not allow your anxiety to tell you otherwise because it lies. Hang in there - you're going to get through this just fine, and we will be here to support you.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| mlpHolmes, Zen888
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#114
Oct 06, 2009, 09:21 PM
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Lynn, I mean this with all due sincereity (excuse my spelling) you should become a psychologist! Your advice as well as others has been very helpful. I know I tend to get worked up over small things and blow them out of proportion, this is a bad habit of mine.
But having supportive people help me to think in "black and white" terms and things based on facts means alot to me. I don't have a mental health support team right now I only have my family doctor to give me refills for my prescriptions. *update* My brother replied to my e-mail! He told me that he isn't angry with me and would like to meet up but I have to give him a weeks notice because he is busy with work. I am still in shock and in tears after reading his e-mail. I miss him so much! _____________ Wednesday and Thursday I have interviews. I will do my best to relax myself before the interviews and to eat properly. I wish I could bring a friend along to the interviews so I wouldn't feel so nervous. Thank-you so much to all my "Getting a Life..." supporters!
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| lynn09
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#115
Oct 06, 2009, 09:28 PM
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 ((((( Zen,Zen,Zen))))Quote:
__________________
 ">
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| lynn09, Zen888
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#116
Oct 07, 2009, 02:51 AM
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Zen, I don't think your anxiety has anything to do with being "a bad habit" - I think it is a component of your mental illness, so don't go beating yourself up about it. Just recognize it for what it is and try to do some research about it - get more information about your bipolar condition so you can more readily recognize your "symptoms" and develop coping skills to keep them from impacting you so hard. Quote:
That's great! Now, use the skills you are now developing by dealing with these background checks and interviews to prepare yourself for when you and he get together. Again, RELAX! You do not have to "explain" everything to him - you do not have to justify yourself to him - just relax and enjoy sharing time together and each other's company. Take the spotlight off of you and focus more on talking about what is going on in HIS life - let him know that you are interested in him as a person - not just as someone to provide you with support. Quote:
You can take your PC friends along with you to the interviews - print out the responses you have received in this thread and tuck some of them in your purse. If you feel nervous before going in to the interview, take a private moment to just quickly read through them to help you remember to breathe, relax, be yourself, etc. We can't be there for you in body, but I assure you that we will all be present in spirit in the words we've written to you. You are going to get a life, Zen, and it's going to be a great one.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| Zen888
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#117
Oct 07, 2009, 09:30 AM
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(((((((((((Zen)))))))))))
That is great about your brother!! I hope everything works out and it is the beginning of a fresh start between the two of you.
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| lynn09, Zen888
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#118
Oct 07, 2009, 06:47 PM
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I had an interview this afternoon at a daycare centre. I think I handled the interview well. I don't think I will accept this job if they ask me to work there because they also expected me on occassion to drive a huge van to pick-up children from their schools to the daycare. I have a very poor sense of direction and by the time I arrived at the schools I would be mega late. Plus I have zero experience driving huge vans and I think I need a permit or special license saying that I am allowed to drive children around in the huge van.
Oh well... I have an interview on Thursday so not all is lost!  I just feel dejected because I stressed myself out all today before the interview and then to leave knowing I wouldn't accept the job if I was hired. 
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| lynn09
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#119
Oct 07, 2009, 10:01 PM
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You probably do need a special permit to drive the kids around - besides, I think doing that might create additional stress for you that you really don't need. But, it's okay - the interview wasn't a waste of time - just consider it "dress rehearsal" for the next one. Just be proud of yourself for getting to the interview and going through the process. Good work, (((Zen))).
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| Zen888
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#120
Oct 08, 2009, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
 ON YOUR JOB INTERVIEW TODAY!!!
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| lynn09
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#121
Oct 08, 2009, 11:04 AM
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Berries thank-you for wishing me good luck! I have a sick stomach today due to something I ate last night and my nerves are shot from anxiety. I left a message with the daycare to reschedule the interview. Hopefully they will give me a second opportunity.
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| lynn09
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#122
Oct 08, 2009, 11:15 AM
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The daycare centre said that they wouldn't reschedule the interview.
Back to searching... |
| lonegael, lynn09
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#123
Oct 09, 2009, 07:33 AM
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Hope you feel better soon, Zen. Take care of yourself, OK?
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| lynn09, Zen888
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#124
Oct 09, 2009, 08:10 AM
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Just dreaming...
__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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| lynn09, Zen888
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#125
Oct 09, 2009, 08:11 AM
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I love Rohagand Catherine's post especially. One step at a time. I was doing pretty well, had a schedule built up that was pretty full and then BANG! Something happened and I couldn't get out of bed. Sent me into depression. Yesterday I did one thing. I got out of the house and went to a 12 step meeting. There are all different sorts. Probably something for practically anyone. What I like about meetings like this is they are entertaining
and besides that often I come out realizing "Wow, I am way better off than some of those people." As cliche as this is...if at first you don't succeed (today) try, try again. It has worked for me. One day at a time
__________________
 I love my fishies http://forums.psychcentral.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=56035&dateline=1242856291" border="0" />
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| lynn09, Zen888
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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