Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #126  
Old May 08, 2014, 08:19 PM
themotions themotions is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Feeling pretty down today. Messed up at work and feel like an idiot who cannot do anything right. How is it that everyone else sees it as not a big deal but I cannot let it go and keep tearing myself up over it. Was so anxious about it today that I made myself physically sick.
Hugs from:
mulan, nakitakunai, Nammu, StarStrike, Swingset321, tigerlily84

advertisement
  #127  
Old May 08, 2014, 08:19 PM
Bigmike727 Bigmike727 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
Well things are starting to look a bit up for me, been feeling productive all day.
__________________
Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin

Hugs from:
Swingset321
Thanks for this!
nakitakunai, StarStrike, tigerlily84
  #128  
Old May 08, 2014, 09:09 PM
tigerlily84's Avatar
tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
Today was a better day. One of my coworkers invited me to a party at her apartment tomorrow. These are not the same coworkers from before. I'm a little nervous to go, but I'm always complaining how lonely I am. I don't know, I can't decide. Mostly I feel like everyone is judging me. What if they only invited me to make fun of me? Then again, the coworker that invited me out tomorrow helped me to calm down when I was had a panic attack at work a few months ago. It's hard to figure out what people's intentions are.
Hugs from:
mulan, nakitakunai, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, Swingset321
  #129  
Old May 08, 2014, 11:41 PM
konstargirl's Avatar
konstargirl konstargirl is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: Chicago,IL, USA
Posts: 121
I finally got a job now, but I'm nervous because I'll be working for my dad. >< I start tomorrow afternoon.
__________________
Hugs from:
mulan, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, Swingset321, tigerlily84
Thanks for this!
NWgirl2013, tigerlily84
  #130  
Old May 09, 2014, 12:11 AM
NWgirl2013's Avatar
NWgirl2013 NWgirl2013 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: Between A Rock & A Hard Place
Posts: 2,270
Trying to hang on, not get too down in the dumps, but this pain in my head is mind numbing and nauseating. I am another one who want to curl up under the covers and stay that way some days. But that doesn't stop the pain. Why can't I get relief? It makes me very depressed.
__________________
It only takes a moment to be kind ~
Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, StarStrike, Swingset321
  #131  
Old May 09, 2014, 05:13 AM
mulan's Avatar
mulan mulan is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,049
I realy wanted to be more suportive here in the foruns. But I think it's because a little bit selfish reason.
I don't have many people around me, friends. I'm realy tired because nobody seems to realy like me, and it makes me sad. It makes me realize that is something wrong about my personality. I'm not a mean person, I think I'm nice with everyone, but being nice isn't enough. I don't talk a lot, I'm not naturaly funny most of the time, I barely talk seriously (just being ironic and making jokes that few people seems to like). And I don't get attached to people, it's not my fault, it doesn't mean I don't like them, but it is also my fault.
In these past days it seems that unintencionaly I made people not care about me, hate me. There are this academic activities in my country. It's a all week without classes and a lot of parties and events. Some of them are dedicated to the ones that finish their graduations this year, and that includes a sort of a lunch/dinner that the young students have to prepare. The fact is that I didn't help in anything and I went there to eat, some people from my year became upset with me.
I was not comfortable being there, I didn't want to be there, but my roommates finish the graduaction this year, so I went there with them. And I don't feel very comfortable to be there with those people of my year... :S
I get used to go to the other academic activities with my sister and her friends, because I had no one to go with me. My classmates never ask me to go with them or simply they don't care to much about the activities and they don't go. This year they went, some knew I was going to, no one asked me to go with them...and in the end I got to know that many of them went and they were all together, while I was hanging almost alone with my sister. When I go out with her I always find myself in the second plane. It's she and her friends, and sometimes I have the opportunity to join the conversations. But for instance when we are walking in groups side by side. I always have to move from one side to the other, otherway I would be in the back of the line or out the circles, when they are stand, what happens a lot.
What's wrong with me, why? It hurts, but I know if I make myself take the first step more often it will be at least a little bit different, because people forget who isn't normaly there.
I don't want to be forgoten here as either, I want to be an important part, but I guess it hapens too.
Hugs from:
healingme4me, Nammu, NWgirl2013, regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
  #132  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:13 AM
painisme's Avatar
painisme painisme is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: california
Posts: 42
stomach ache from the new meds...but ok besides that
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, NWgirl2013, StarStrike
  #133  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:33 AM
eggplantlife eggplantlife is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
This morning I'm feeling okay. Might be almost good.These couple of days, I find that my mood swings up and down during the day. Most of the day is depression, but for an hour or so I feel good. I hope it continues to be good soon and my life turns around. It's been hard these 8 years. Most of my life I had depression, but these 8 years life have been rough on me with deaths, divorce, no job, poverty, debt and the most sad giving up my doggie daughter. I'm so grateful that my friend took me in. I want to be well.
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
  #134  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:59 AM
tigersassy's Avatar
tigersassy tigersassy is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
Doing ok I guess. Not deppressed really, but not good either anxiety has been up since I woke up. I think it has to do with work requirements today. Wish I felt good for a while.

Tig
__________________
Dream Big..... Wish Big..... Believe Big......
PTSD possible bipolar
Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin


Hugs from:
healingme4me, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike
  #135  
Old May 09, 2014, 08:33 AM
regretful regretful is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
Vacillating between depression and apathy...I can't stay in this spot forever as it is intensely uncomfortable. I suppose that sooner or later something will "give" - I'm hoping for sooner because this depressive/dysthymic episode has been going on since early October...
Hugs from:
Anonymous37807, dandylin, healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
  #136  
Old May 09, 2014, 09:25 AM
Anonymous37807
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Just in a major funk today. Everything seems so pointless because nothing I do improves this depression. It is an unwelcome companion that just won't leave me.

The temp-to-hire paralegal job I was enthusiastic about turns out to be for a company that sells ATMs! How exciting and prestigious-sounding - - NOT! The agency is sending over my resume. Not even sure if I'd want to interview for the job if they're interested in me, but I guess I better because what else do I have to do - - nothing! I can just hang my head in shame about what a fly-by-night operation it is if I were to be offered and take the job.

My life just sucks, big time. I hate it and myself for being so pathetic. That's all for now.
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
Thanks for this!
NWgirl2013
  #137  
Old May 09, 2014, 01:15 PM
Rose76's Avatar
Rose76 Rose76 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,848
Back from my get away to visit family. Feeling pretty okay. I'm so glad it's still cool weather.
My s/o gets weaker every week. It was a nice escape for me. Now I'm back, and the worrying about him continues.
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
Thanks for this!
StarStrike
  #138  
Old May 09, 2014, 01:44 PM
StarStrike's Avatar
StarStrike StarStrike is offline
Shooting Star
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I felt like I hadn't got enough sleep. Even though I had eight hours. At the library my name was not on the rota. They'd forgotten about me on my last day. But then one of the staff members gave me some grapes as a goodbye gift since today was my last day of work experience. Then the manager gave me a box of chocolates and a thank you card. But there was still whispering going on. They're nice towards me but I'm sure they're saying stuff about me behind my back. I had a sugar rush from a milkshake that had crushed skittles in it. But sugar rushes never last and as quickly as I had it, it was gone and I felt tired. All in all I'd like to say thank goodness the two weeks of work experience are finally over. I am not a people person.
__________________
"Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.
Medication:
Olanzapine 20mg
Fluoxetine 20mg
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, TheOriginalMe
  #139  
Old May 09, 2014, 02:06 PM
Pikku Myy's Avatar
Pikku Myy Pikku Myy is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: US
Posts: 3,103
I can not get my "thinking" together......... I feel a bit lost again.
Hugs from:
healingme4me, mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
  #140  
Old May 09, 2014, 03:27 PM
themotions themotions is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Today just sucks. I am sitting here, do not want to go to support group. Just want to mope.
Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
  #141  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:04 PM
seeminglyreal's Avatar
seeminglyreal seeminglyreal is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 182
Had a very good day. I didn't want to get out of bed to go to uni, but I had to go because I can't miss any more classes. So in Linguistics, I sat next to this girl and she started talking to me and we worked together during class. That's a first, because I always do group projects on my own. She is very very nice and I didn't feel anxious at all when I talked to her -which is also a first. We walked together to the bus stop. I hope she'll be my friend.
Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, tigerlily84, waterknob1234
Thanks for this!
NWgirl2013
  #142  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:07 PM
Anonymous200125
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
It's been a long day and I should be pretty tired. Two nights in a row with not much sleep. I guess being in a hospital environment is not helping in that sense. I could ask for something to help me switch off and sleep but I guess I'm trying to avoid that where possible.
Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, NWgirl2013, StarStrike, waterknob1234
  #143  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:19 PM
cherrykix's Avatar
cherrykix cherrykix is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 177
I'm feeling really happy, but also scared. I finished the semester with better grades than I expected, had a long phone call with a good friend that has similar issues as me and she's doing great, and I found the perfect apartment. I'm scared because I know my good mood won't last and I don't want to sink into a depressive episode.

Sent from my SGH-T999L using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
mulan, Nammu, StarStrike
  #144  
Old May 09, 2014, 06:46 PM
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu Nammu is offline
Crone
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,681
The last few days have not been good. Did the intake yesterday, quite upsetting. Today woke up in so much pain, my back hurt, couldn't pee no matter what, jumped into a warm tub of Epsom salts, that and three huge glasses of water helped. When I got out there was a message for an emergency appointment with the psych nurse.

Ihave a bladder infection and she wants me to keep the appointments I received yesterday and keep calling about PHP. I can't take being w/o a car any longer and asked my neighbor I give me a ride to the mechanic. He said the only thing left was the inspection and it will pass now but he needs to see the insurance form before he can officially run it. Only other thing left to is renew the plates. Cost so much less than I was afraid of, really like my mechanic.

When I talked to my neighbor I found out what all the police, fire and ambulances last month were about. My downstairs neighbor killed himself. Another neighbor I had never met might also have killed herself, the cause was uncertain. My neighbor is an ex cop and has ways of finding out everything that happens around here. My first thought was jealousy, why did they succeed when I have tried so hard? I've been in a coma and gotten epilepsy from my attempts but can't succeed! I keep thinking if they had just let me die I would have avoided all these years of pain and humiliation not to mention avoiding the surgeries. I'm so afraid to try again because I'm sure I'll fail. Anyway the talk with the nurse curiously was helpful although she didn't really do anything beyond being supportive and order the antibiotics.
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Hugs from:
Anonymous200125, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
  #145  
Old May 09, 2014, 07:03 PM
TheOriginalMe's Avatar
TheOriginalMe TheOriginalMe is online now
Out of Order
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 16,090
Today was pretty much the same as yesterday really, except that my bladder problems have returned, this time in a supermarket queue. It's like from nowhere I have an uncontrollable urge to pee and nothing I do can stop it. This time was worse because of the menstrual problems I'm having. Suddenly I was standing in a pool of blood stained pee and hoping no-one had noticed. I figured if they did notice that their embarassment was probably greater than mine and that thought got me out of the door and into the street. After that I just had to make it home where of course there is nowhere to hide as the builders are still here.

Don't know what to do, have to wait until 4th June for an appt with female GP, who knows nothing about my depression or see my usual doc who will say it is important to treat my depression first and foremost. Plus I don't want the hassle of loads of examinations, I have barely got the motivation to get out of bed and sleep on the sofa all day, having to go to various appointments and all that will entail is just too much, way too much.
__________________
Hugs from:
Nammu, PoorPrincess, StarStrike, tigerlily84, waterknob1234
  #146  
Old May 09, 2014, 07:56 PM
waterknob1234's Avatar
waterknob1234 waterknob1234 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: in school
Posts: 1,773
I'm so tired and I'm glad it's the weekend. I have been too sick the last week to worry about the chaos and hassle at work. I had bronchitis and chest congestion. Wednesday I had a CT scan of my head and carotid ultrasound done. I almost decided not to have it done but my doctor's office insisted I have it done and they jumped thru hoops to find a facility that would accept my insurance. Last night I sat on youtube listening to old love songs and pop songs from the 1960's and 1970's. That brought a sense of peace and calm and made me think of happier times during my childhood.
Hugs from:
Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
Thanks for this!
PoorPrincess, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
  #147  
Old May 09, 2014, 08:42 PM
PoorPrincess's Avatar
PoorPrincess PoorPrincess is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Santa Rosa Island, FL, USA ... 2014 rudely displanted to the rugged raw severe NW Coast of Oregon.
Posts: 15,307
The physical malaise still besets me, feel defeated, weak, worn out, give up.
Depression today as deep and dark as the rainy day.

However an unacceptable response from the dr office late today 'riled' me and I let the young woman know that the Corporate CYA generic one-size fits all neat and tidy little answer was altogether unacceptable. It did not address my inquiry at all and left me with NO care or instruction for the entire weekend.

Tonight after 6 I get a call from the prescriber. He was very good and apologized.
Communication is such a great thing. He answered my question very well. Thank you.
So I guess I'm not dead yet, I've still got an intelligent voice when I'm riled at least.
I feel better for the satisfaction after the aggravation today.
__________________

Traveling west back toward Eden (interestingly the wise men in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth came from the East), has been full of confrontation with
the trials and tribulations of living outside the Garden.
She is an artist without doubt disappointed that paradise was not as close in 1969 as she and so many others hoped it was. Her work is now filled with the reality of humanity's failure to achieve the prophetic dream of her song, but never without the hope that that day will yet come.
Hugs from:
Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
Thanks for this!
Nammu
  #148  
Old May 09, 2014, 09:05 PM
tigerlily84's Avatar
tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
Quote:
Originally Posted by sidestepper View Post
The last few days have not been good. Did the intake yesterday, quite upsetting. Today woke up in so much pain, my back hurt, couldn't pee no matter what, jumped into a warm tub of Epsom salts, that and three huge glasses of water helped. When I got out there was a message for an emergency appointment with the psych nurse.

Ihave a bladder infection and she wants me to keep the appointments I received yesterday and keep calling about PHP. I can't take being w/o a car any longer and asked my neighbor I give me a ride to the mechanic. He said the only thing left was the inspection and it will pass now but he needs to see the insurance form before he can officially run it. Only other thing left to is renew the plates. Cost so much less than I was afraid of, really like my mechanic.

When I talked to my neighbor I found out what all the police, fire and ambulances last month were about. My downstairs neighbor killed himself. Another neighbor I had never met might also have killed herself, the cause was uncertain. My neighbor is an ex cop and has ways of finding out everything that happens around here. My first thought was jealousy, why did they succeed when I have tried so hard? I've been in a coma and gotten epilepsy from my attempts but can't succeed! I keep thinking if they had just let me die I would have avoided all these years of pain and humiliation not to mention avoiding the surgeries. I'm so afraid to try again because I'm sure I'll fail. Anyway the talk with the nurse curiously was helpful although she didn't really do anything beyond being supportive and order the antibiotics.


How are you feeling now? A good and honest mechanic is hard to find. I'm glad that the cost of the repairs and renewal is a lot less than you thought.
Hugs from:
Nammu, TheOriginalMe
Thanks for this!
Nammu
  #149  
Old May 09, 2014, 09:27 PM
tigerlily84's Avatar
tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
I want to go out. I don't want to be lonely. I know it's my fault.
Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, PoorPrincess, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
  #150  
Old May 09, 2014, 10:42 PM
Bigmike727 Bigmike727 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
Well, today was going quite fine, until I lost my wallet. Mind you nothing much was in it, but it held alot of sentimental value to me since it was my grandfathers own, who was like a father to me. It feels like I'm completely disoriented without it.
__________________
Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin

Hugs from:
mulan, Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
Closed Thread
Views: 73616

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:37 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.