[tigersassy]

Falling into the pit. Memories are crappy. Want to curl up and die.

Tig

hang in there tiger.....

[Pikku Myy]

Beaming happy today Funny how quickly my mood changes Lets hope it lasts for a bit longer.

yaa for pikku

[eggplantlife]

Restless today. Trying to quit smoking. Felt depression come on, but fighting it and realize that withdrawal was causing me to feel it again. Up and Down as I struggle today.

[nakitakunai]

Talked with my mom about my driving fears... Actually before that happened, I had a panic attack right after getting out of the shower. I got through it by lying on my bathroom floor listening to some meditation music. Then I told her all about my anxiety and how I keep having bad dreams about car accidents and such, and she assured me it's okay if I don't go, and that if I'm feeling anxious or unsafe about it then she'd rather me stay home and be safe, and we can celebrate her birthday next weekend. So it's all good! *phew*
And, I rewarded myself for opening up about it and for getting through that panic attack by buying myself a bunch of sweets, which I ate a little while ago and now I am feeling very full and very happy. :P

[mulan]

Here I am...It's being a couple of hard days. I'm in the final weeks before the most most important (and hard) exam I have this year, and I'm starting to get behind on the amount of things I already should had study.
And worst, it seems that the day lenght is progressibly shriking. I have so much to do on faculty, and I have to wake up so early that by the time I get home, it's midafternoon and I'm already too tired to study.
Today I decided to sleep when I got home from faculty...I guess I slept one hour...when I woke up it was very strange, I though it was morning already and I had missed the morning classes. The moment I realize I wasn't wearing my pijamas I started to remember that I had gone to bed after I went home. Even so I was pretty confused if it was already moorning or it was still afternoon. It happens that I had just slept one hour. Then study till now.
The doctor that is with my group this week on pratical classes is probably the worst doctor (interating with people) that I ever seen...the pratical classes had been incredibly awfall. He is the person responsable for this subject, and he is the tutor that cares less about his students, we did not learn anything with him. He is really disgusting, he barely talks to patients, and most of them have blood cancer, and he doesn't care a little about them. He is allways shewing gum while the patients are there. I hate him.
In the end, after this long check up, I'm feeling very stupid all the time, and I just say dumb non interesting things, so I think my group peers don't like very much, as everyone else.

[Bigmike727]

Today was just one of those days where I need a smoke. I don't understand how people just can go about their lives so happily and take selfies and smile at all. Like don't they know the horrors of the real world, there's absolutely nothing to smile about in life. Good thing I've still got my pack of Marlboro Reds, frig quitting.

[TheOriginalMe]

Still in crapland.

I can't even be bothered now to find space for stuff on the floor, tonight there was a heap of stuff on my bed and I just climbed in, some stuff fell on the floor, some stuff stayed on the bed so it may as well stay there now. The chaos around me reflects the turmoil in my head and my external environment is no worse than my internal environment.

I still don't have a bathroom, today was the start of the third week like this. I wash using baby wipes, but I feel pretty grubby. I have more surplus body hair than a female soviet shot-put champion circa 1980, this is compounded by the steroids I'm taking right now

Don't waste any sympathy on me, I don't deserve it, all of my troubles are self inflicted, if I was more reliable and conscientious then I wouldn't have let my house get in such a mess that it takes over 2 weeks to refit the bathroom.

It was really cold and wet here today, I had to spend the whole day out as the builders had laid a new floor which needed to set. I got in around 6pm and the floor still hadn't set and there was no gas for the central heating. It took me 30 minutes to figure out that the builders had turned the gas off and forgotten to put it back on. It took about another hour to figure out how to re-light the pilot light. All I had to do was press a button with a picture of a flame on it, how hard could that be?

I'm cold, I'm damp, I'm sleeping surrounded by garbage, yet I have a home, I've only myself to blame. I'm pathetic, despicable.

How is it possible to be too tired to care but at the same time be full of self loathing?

[jen29]

today was my b-day and even tho was with family and friends was still lonely!
feel 100x worse now that my best friend forgot about my b-day. just talked to her and she didn't say anything.

[dandylin]

Holy Batcrap Batman. Sometimes I think I'm God's big joke

[sph123]

Today is a bad day again. I feel really down, but I can't cry. I hate my life. I feel trapped and hopeless. I am trying to find a new doctor (or doctors) and I can't find what I want/need treatment-wise, but live in the largest city in the U.S. So that makes me even more frustrated.

I feel so lonely right now and so rejected (dejected?). I hate feeling like this. I really wish I could have a second chance at life.

[maddnessreturns]

Feeling alone. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about what I'm feeling. I get on chat even on here and I just can't seem to talk.

[veiledregret1234]

I let him get under my skin and drive me down the neck of a bottle. Again...

[Perfectly Broken]

I haven't posted in months, I am feeling much better. I have a boyfriend and I'm going to college in the fall. I feel better when I'm around my boyfriend, but it's embarrassing when he has many friends and knows people while I have 0 friends and talk to people only online. He wants me to have and make friends, but it's not easy for me and it's kind of insulting to say something like that. Like I'm not a normal person unless I have friends. I don't really leave my house, I'm isolated and have social anxiety. I only had friends in middle school, after that only guys who wanted to date me would hang out with me. I relied on my older brother to be there for me, we're best friends and get each other. My brother lives in another state now and I've been adjusting to life without him. It irritates me how my boyfriend said he doesn't want me to rely on him for everything, when I don't. If there's anyone who is my everything, it's my brother. I've told myself I don't need friends or people and that I'm happy by myself, and yet here I am crying how lonely I feel that no one here gets me...

[lizzyjb]

Sad and alone, scared about real life is, wanting to desappear of this world.
Lying in my sofa with my decaff latte, thinking about all the things I should do but I can't.
I used to be so crafty, foamy, crochet, decoupage... Now I only want to lye and die.

[blacklist]

Hope is best thing I ever had still stuck to hope... one day I'll overcome my depression

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[regretful]

Like blacklist said above, hope...it's all that I have to hang on to these days...to get me through this depression, I keep hope...

[StarStrike]

My good mood from yesterday has gone and turned sour. I hate the reality I'm in and feel like slipping into a false one. It'd be easier to cope with if I did just slip. -Sigh-

[TheOriginalMe]

I am glad that some of you still have hope, I know the grim alternative only too well. I have no hope, this is what I am forever, there is no escape or cure, just me and depression.

[maddnessreturns]

My fiance is coming home for the weekend. I'm so excited today I get to see him for four days

[Bigmike727]

Well the end is in sight for my exams, only a few more to go. Plus its the weekend, so that brightened my mood a bit.

[dandylin]

A friend was killed in a car accident today. She was a beautiful soul and I will miss her sunny smile

[blacklist]

My annual exams are coming soon n meds make me lazy slow sleepy... dnt knw how to prep for exams

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[eggplantlife]

Down because it's been days I've been trying to stop smoking. Hate it when it brings back depressive thoughts so I give me.