I couldn't handle it

I received a phone call today by a film producer who wants local residents to come together and make a documentary. She had seen the video I did right after the storm and requested my presence at their first meeting tonite. I haven't touched my camera since right after the storm and still have no inclination to. I couldn't make up my mind on whether or not to go. And ended up going. I was doing alright at the meeting, but very nervous and not feeling comfortable. About an hour into the meeting she asked everyone to stand in front of the camera and talk about one thing you lost, then what your hopes are. My mind started to flip and all I could think was everyone I lost not just one and hopes, what the hell is that. Then something happened to me. I suddenly started sweating bad, got dizzy and chills and felt like i was going to faint. My legs started to give and I heard that ringing noise in my ears. I reached for a chair and sat down. I was at the point of busting out crying, but somehow was able to tell her I couldn't speak for the camera. Once I regained myself, I thanked her and left. Is this part of depression or am I losing it. This was scary tonite. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't handle what use to be so simple to do. What is wrong with me!

(((( chalmette ))))

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have literally been through Hell and back. You can't expect to live through something like that and not be scarred for life.

It sounds like a panic attack. Do you have a T, or talked to anyone about PTSD? I would think that would be a major contributor of your struggles to hold it together.

PTSD is a toughie. It would be hard to tackle it alone.

Take care,

Petunia

*hugs* I'm pretty sure that's a natural reaction from everything that you've been through. It's hard to face stuff like that again, sometimes it brings up emotions that have since been repressed.

Chalmette, Sounds like PTSD to me. Share that experience with your T. If it bothers you, don't be a part of the documentary. Your mental well being comes first. Saying a prayer for you.

(((((chalmette))))

my thoughts are with you

look after you

sounds like a panic attack, please take care and try to relax.

holding your hand sweety

jin xx

I agree with all above. PTSD is a big bugger and anxiety/panic attacks rip you to the ground. Please find someone to help you with these episodes, I know you can find relief at least a little for you symptoms.....I'm so sad you're dealing with this............

(((((((((((((((((((((special hugs for you Chalmette))))))))))))))))))

Thanks to all of you for answering me. I was a mess last night. Literally got myself sick worrying about it later on. I had gone to my regular doctor earlier in the month and she said I have depression and post trauma. She put me on citrolpram and wants me to go speak to a therapist. I haven't gotten up enough nerve yet to go speak to anyone. I keep making up excuses why not to go. I wouldn't know what to say cause my mind is so jumbled up and I can't make any sense of it most of the time. I go back to see my doctor on the 6th and will let her know what happened to me last night. I've had times where I've gone through something similar, but not as bad as I was last night. I haven't seen yet where this medicine is helping me to feel better. I hope it starts soon.

If ya'll could only hear and see what is going on outside of my trailer right now. Loud, loud noises from a crane lifting the debris from the gutted house across the street into a truck. I can't stand the noise, but I'd rather that for a little bit than that crap sitting outside any longer. It's got my trailer shaking bad too. When their done I'm gonna have to go out there and sweep the street. Oh, fun. They never clean it up and leave nails and glass all over.

I thank ya'll for being so kind to me. I don't have anyplace else to turn to right now. My family and friends are the same as me and I don't want to burden them with more.

chalmette

Please don't put off talking to someone who can help, the sooner you begin, the less time it will take to get to a good spot for living.

Sounds pretty normal to me. I don't know if it's PTSD or a panic attack or both, but I've lived with those symptoms off and on all of my adult life. Try not to let it worry you. After it happens enough I started to realize it wouldn't kill me, I was not dying, and just kind of learned to live with it. Then about 10 years ago I found medication that actually helped. Zoloft, most recently cymbalta, along with Klonopin. Good luck!