[Turtlesoup]

Took me a bit to get caught up-too busy to use computer yesterday. My hubby is doing well tomorrow he will be 1 week post op. Got some of his aftercare set up yesterday but still haven't gotten the authorization for PT. Also had book club last night (we did Day of the Locust) had fun & lively discussion. I slept well last night & am cooking up a nice soup for later-it's freakin cold here & windy. I have a tdoc appointment this afternoon & not sure what to talk about so much has happened this week it's crazy. I looked at some xmas pictures of my cat Frodo who passed away last week. He looked so great I can't wrap my head around the next time I visit my Mom he won't be there
I'm sorry for all here who are struggling right now-positive energy & big hugs coming your way

I am tired of people in my life not caring about me even half as much as they claim to.

I don't feel like either of my parents care about me anymore. It's at a point where now I feel like I'm an obstacle in their way.

They shouldn't have to still be taking care of me when I am 18.

I shouldn't still be taking up space in their lives. I think it's time for me to go.



I feel so alone and unloved.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I am tired of people in my life not caring about me even half as much as they claim to.

I don't feel like either of my parents care about me anymore. It's at a point where now I feel like I'm an obstacle in their way.

They shouldn't have to still be taking care of me when I am 18.

I shouldn't still be taking up space in their lives. I think it's time for me to go.



I feel so alone and unloved.

Once you get a job, you can leave home. Don't go anywhere else, please. You can pm me or many others here.

[Rose76]

I'm starting to feel much better, after being quite sick. When the physical gets to be this big of a deal, it kind of knocks out the psychological. Maybe I will have the strength later to go out and do some grocery shopping.

My s/o is surviving fine on his own and has been real concerned about me. I may go see him Saturday, but I've got to put my own agenda more in the forefront. I'm about to get my apartment inspected for the Section 8 program. I need to get things in order for that. Mentally, I feel pretty good.

I'm checking in again to say my job interview went great. I would be surprised if I DIDN'T get called for a second interview, the way the gal was talking. My mood has improved considerably. So things can go my way after all . . .

[Nammu]

I'm taking the day off, staying in bed playing on the web and watching Star Trek TNG.
It's a cold muggy raining day, so I decided to take a "rain DAY" becouse they don't really get snow days down here. I love being able to open the windows and get the cold air in the house, seems to clean out the musty feel of the AC. I know, that sounds so perverse so open everything up on a cold day. Although it's around 42 outside in the house it's 56 which is great, feels so cleansing.

[Bark]

Feeling a bit depressed tonight. I felt down yesterday, but I took a nap before it could go downhill. Well... an on-and-off nap.

Stressed out about multiple moves, family issues, home environment, the financial situation, trouble falling asleep, documents I need to submit... okay, maybe I do have a few reasons to be down. I could add more, actually.

It would be nice if I could have nice dreams at least. Talk about disturbing imagery.

Trying to take it easy on myself. Wondering if I might be getting sick because I have a funny feeling in my throat.

I'd like a vacation where I could actually take a break from everything. Anyway, vacation's over, and a new set of stressors awaits.

[TheOriginalMe]

I was scheduled for an assessment with a T today, I've been waiting for this since November. The appt was cancelled and I didn't get a message beforehand. I had an appt afterwards with my nurse so there wasn't any point going anywhere else in the meantime. I felt cross, but I'm too down to express much emotion, sometimes I get irritable when things make me jump, but that is about it. Firmly on the downward spiral and I ran out of energy to fight weeks ago.

[Clara22]

I had a long conversation with the doctors at hospital earlier today. Having been hospitalized for more than three months and 2 surgeries I have few options ahead. The worst one is getting a more drastic surgery ( a pelvectomy) which would leave me laying in bed 24 hours ( unable to seat). Another possibility is to carry on the bone infection, trying to keep my body as healthy as possible. Indeed I had to do a colonoscopy to see if I have colon cancer (given my anemia and other blood results). It is a hard moment. I am grateful to medication, therapy, and PC because they are helping me to keep calm and peaceful. Sorry for my English, I think you understand anyway

[Angelique67]

(((((Clara22)))))

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Clara22

I had a long conversation with the doctors at hospital earlier today. Having been hospitalized for more than three months and 2 surgeries I have few options ahead. The worst one is getting a more drastic surgery ( a pelvectomy) which would leave me laying in bed 24 hours ( unable to seat). Another possibility is to carry on the bone infection, trying to keep my body as healthy as possible. Indeed I had to do a colonoscopy to see if I have colon cancer (given my anemia and other blood results). It is a hard moment. I am grateful to medication, therapy, and PC because they are helping me to keep calm and peaceful. Sorry for my English, I think you understand anyway

:

[Sunflower123]

This is my "down" part of the year. I just had a good friend die yesterday (cancer, only 44 years old) and the grief seems to be putting me in a spiral.

[Rose76]

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend, Jennifer.

[BaileyB208]

do people still use this place I'm not seeing a lot of activity and i could really use some help...

[avlady]

i am also sorry for your loss!!!!

[hope2010]

Originally Posted by Clara22

I had a long conversation with the doctors at hospital earlier today. Having been hospitalized for more than three months and 2 surgeries I have few options ahead. The worst one is getting a more drastic surgery ( a pelvectomy) which would leave me laying in bed 24 hours ( unable to seat). Another possibility is to carry on the bone infection, trying to keep my body as healthy as possible. Indeed I had to do a colonoscopy to see if I have colon cancer (given my anemia and other blood results). It is a hard moment. I am grateful to medication, therapy, and PC because they are helping me to keep calm and peaceful. Sorry for my English, I think you understand anyway

Dear Clara you are so brave, whatever happen you are not alone, I know is not much what I can do for you from here, but I can tell you that I care about you, that I wish you the best no matter what decision you make about this difficult times you are very dear to all of us, I am glad that you have a good PC and that there is always hope. Please keep us up date.

Big warm hugs

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by hope2010

Dear Clara you are so brave, whatever happen you are not alone, I know is not much what I can do for you from here, but I can tell you that I care about you, that I wish you the best no matter what decision you make about this difficult times you are very dear to all of us, I am glad that you have a good PC and that there is always hope. Please keep us up date.

Big warm hugs

Thanks a lot, hope. By PC I meant Psychcentral

Well, I made it through Night #1 of 4 without my husband here (darkness phobia). As I figured, it wasn't too fun, but it wasn't horrible either. Just hoping I get a phone call today or soon from the law firm I interviewed at about a second interview. She even wondered if I'd be available for a Saturday interview, so they must be in a hurry to get someone in there.

Today I'm going to incorporate jogging into my power walk so hoping I don't get into a fibromyalgia flare because of it. Editing to say just got back from doing that and feel great. It is such a boost to my mood to do jog/walking.

Other than that, going to an AA meeting, out to lunch with a friend and to the bank.

I don't feel well, my cheeks are very swollen. I don't think the new med is good for me, I feel so nauseous.

[angelene]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Try, angelene. I don't have access to laundry (no machines in my apartment or building) and having them in your house sounds like such a luxury. Easy for me to say, I know! Sorry.

But you're right. I take too many things for granted. I think of the times I've had to cart my laundry elsewhere and wish you had a washer and dryer near you.

[vin_rouge]

Up: Still so thankful and happy for my friend's visit yesterday, on my birthday. She made it such a sweet and beautiful day. How have I ever got a friend like her? <3

Down: Another friend has been using me as she likes during this week. Ignored my bday still trying to profit from me as much as possible. What's going on..?

[hope2010]

Originally Posted by Clara22

Thanks a lot, hope. By PC I meant Psychcentral

Clara22, thank you for telling me about PC meant Psychcentral. I thought you meant your PD. Does PD that meant Psychiatrist ?
That is what I thought you was talking about Clara about getting good help from your doctors at the hospital, silly me ....
Well, this is a good reason for all of us to laugh about my mistake

I am not well, the panic attacks are back
Same with my anxiety, I was getting use to feel better with my medications, and being more active, and now all is so difficult.

I am not going out by myself anymore, again I am so afraid of leaving the house, it is ridiculous but so real. Fear is it a powerful emotion. I have to learn over and over again how to face my fears and how to cope with anxiety. It is like a never ending problem isn't it?

I will see my Psychiatrist in 12 days, hopefully she will adjust my medications for good. Yesterday was a very hard day, all was sad, I felt so empty, tired, dizzy from the severity of my anxiety.

I tried everything, exercise, breathing exercise, leave in the present, positive thoughts, nothing work!

I have to admit that there are days like yesterday, days of darkness.

Today, I suppose to try to go out, drive my car and just go out to any place, like the supermarket, or to buy a new jean because I gain about 10 pounds from my new medications side effects. I have to face this horrible feeling, I just want to stay at home, work hard at home but that is not good.

There is a world outside that I can't scape and ignored ... I can't scape from the world outside my home because I care so much about being independent, about getting better, about face my fears that I have to do it!
I will go out, I will drive, and I will come back and tell you if I fainted out of fear or if I made it through. Thank you all for being here,

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by hope2010

Clara22, thank you for telling me about PC meant Psychcentral. PD meants Psychiatrist ? That is what I thought you was talking about Clara.
Well a good reason for all of us to laugh about my mistake

I am not well, the panic attacks are back
Same with my anxiety, I was getting use to feel better with my medications, and being more active, and now all is so difficult.

I am not going out by myself anymore, again I am so afraid of leaving the house, it is ridiculous but so real. Fear is it a powerful emotion that I can to learn again and again how to face and cope.

I will see my Psychiatrist in 12 days, hopefully she will adjust my medications for good. Yesterday was a very hard day, all was sad, I felt so empty, tired, dizzy from the severity of my anxiety.

I tried everything, exercise, breathing exercise, leave in the present, positive thoughts, nothing work!

I have to admit that there are days like yesterday, days of darkness.

Today, I suppose to try to go out, drive my car and just go out to any place, like the supermarket, or to buy a new jean because I gain about 10 pounds from my new medications side effects. I have to face this horrible feeling, I just want to stay at home, work hard at home but that is not good.

There is a world outside that I can't scape and ignored ... I can't scape from the world outside my home because I care so much about being independent, about getting better, about face my fears that I have to do it!
I will go out, I will drive, and I will come back and tell you if I fainted out of fear or if I made it through. Thank you all for being here,

Yes, PD meant psychiatrist, I should have written PDoc. Maybe I am wrong but I think that medication is key for anxiety. Hope in a few days you will have a better solution as you see your PDoc.
I am sending you a big hug

Not well today. I'm trying.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Not well today. I'm trying.

We hear you!

Sent from my A0001