Daily Check In — Ups and Downs Thread 13

angelene · Jan 19, 2015, 07:48 PM

Fibromyalgia is kicking my *** and that's way more than enough to bring me down.

RubyRains · Jan 19, 2015, 10:40 PM

I just hope my friends know that if I put them off from conversation that it is really because of my depression. I don't want to talk to them. It's awful to say but I'm just too sad and I will bring them down. If I could just tell them to please stop trying to talk to me, that would be good.

Rose76 · Jan 19, 2015, 11:24 PM

I've figured out that I've got a chest cold, so I'm not just lazy for not having much ambition today. I do need to get some things done around the house, cold or no cold.

My s/o is just going to have to make out on his own for a few days. The running back between my apartment and his has just gotten to be too much. I need to be home for more than just a day here and a day there. I went over there this past Wednesday and didn't get back home to my own place till last night. Once I get there, I feel bad leaving and tend to stay on and on. I'm really not taking care of myself properly, and I think that may be the cause of this cold that started over a week before Christmas now settling into my chest. I come home to a house that has no prepared food, though I've left stuff prepared for him at his house.

I know a lot of this is just poor organization on my part. But I do need a break to devote some time to me, my house, and my errands. I keep thinking he can't manage anything on his own. He could do a bit better than he does. When I'm not there, he just eats sweets. But it's no harder to put some ham between two slices of bread than it is to unwrap Little Debbie cakes, or whatever junk he can find. He has an attendant coming tomorrow and Wednesday. So I'm staying home in my own place, at least until Thursday.

Espresso · Jan 19, 2015, 11:41 PM

I don't trust myself to post on any threads except the daily check-in ones because I'm so incredibly drunk, and I would probably be too ******* honest. I hate myself and everyone and everything. It's not fair that I have to continue to live.

Jan 20, 2015, 12:31 AM

It turned out to be a pretty good day, despite the fact that it started off pretty bad. Yesterday my friend wanted to be taken somewhere where we could walk around for today. And then early this morning I got an email from him saying that he was going to a memorial service for someone who passed away at 10AM. He didn't tell me about a memorial service yesterday. I called him before he went to the service and told him that I was shocked that he didn't tell me about it yesterday. He said that I didn't seem enthusiastic about going to the place he wanted to go today. Well, I have to say that he is correct about that. It always seems like for us to get together, I have to do all of the driving. I get sick of it sometimes. Plus putting the wear and tear on my car.

But we did get together later on in the day. He called me after the memorial service and went to a store near where I live (that was what he was going to do on Saturday). So I picked him up at the store and took him to my place to talk for a while. It was a pretty good time. It does not sound like much excitement, but it was right for me. After he left I felt sad and alone. Tonight my brother called and we didn't talk very long. He didn't seem like he was in a good mood. He and I never got along in our whole lives.

I feel a lot like what Just TV Troping said about wanting to cry but can't. That happens to me a lot, and I hate that.

Jan 20, 2015, 06:53 AM

Feeling kinda tired again today, and headachy, even though I got plenty of sleep last night. Hope my volunteering goes well today. After, will probably head to the AA meeting.

Had a good conversation with my husband yesterday, which I brought up, about why he seems unhappy with our marriage lately. I learned some things I didn't know. We both need to be more communicative about how we think/feel about things. I've been wondering about his attitude for a while but was too scared to bring it up.

Jan 20, 2015, 08:31 AM

I need to get things done today. Tried my first dose last night, and I'm very sensitive and the psychiatrist knows after all these years. I did feel a good kind of sleepy, but didn't sleep well. My head is thinking too much all night. Tossed and turned.
Guess I hope I'll get the housework done today. Sore again, but it isn't too bad.

tigersassy · Jan 20, 2015, 08:47 AM

I'm here. Distracted, but here. I have got to focus on work. It's hard when your brain is focused on something completely different. Blah.... need a vacation. Get a 4 day weekend 2 weeks. Can't wait. Hopefully we'll be able to get away for at least a day.

herethennow · Jan 20, 2015, 11:39 AM

back has been aching for the past 3 weeks and i am wondering why.

other than that, im just chiding myself for wasting 2 days doing nothing when i have an exam soon. i dont feel like doing anything.

Jan 20, 2015, 11:41 AM

They fought really bad last night and my dad is staying home from work today. It's been nothing but silence. They haven't spoken to each other at all.

I almost did something last night but stopped myself. I wish I hadn't though

angelene · Jan 20, 2015, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I almost did something last night but stopped myself. I wish I hadn't though

I'm glad that you didn't.

I don't think there are any more ways around it; laundry has to be done. That's up and down the stairs a bunch of times.

Rose76 · Jan 20, 2015, 01:38 PM

I am sick with bronchitis. What an awful headache I have with this, and I'm not prone to headaches. Just going to take it easy for next couple of days. I'm too sick now to even go to the store.

Jan 20, 2015, 03:31 PM

i've been feeling trapped in a sceen from groundhog day.

simply meaning, that every day for the past while i've felt the same. no better, no worse

and i've been feeling pretty bad

Ruftin · Jan 20, 2015, 04:06 PM

TheOriginalMe · Jan 20, 2015, 06:31 PM

I applied for a job a few weeks ago, I was hoping that I could wing my way through but now I've seen all the preparation I'll have to do, I just can't. It is too long since I did any serious statistical stuff and I haven't the concentration or cognitive functioning to refresh my knowledge.

I finally got the online testing app working, I'll probably do the online test for the experience as it is fairly straightforward. But I don't see the point in putting myself through another round of testing and an interview when there will be people who know what they are talking about and who have recent experience to draw upon and who probably won't be being weighed down by depression either.

I feel like such a loser giving up like this, I'm not a great starter (low motivation) but I usually see things through if I actually get started, not this time though. I was feeling really down before this, now I feel worse, serves me right for making the cardinal error of letting a chink of hope penetrate my brain. I dared to hope that this would be a fresh start for me.

Turtlesoup · Jan 20, 2015, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I almost did something last night but stopped myself. I wish I hadn't though

I'm glad you didn't as well

Sorry you are dealing with such a difficult home situation. We do care how you're doing (also gotta find out how things turn out with the strange girl who loves odd words

)

Been crazy busy here today-housework, taking care of my husband, running around like that proverbial chicken with no head-gonna fix some food soon-mood is good & stable-hugs to all

Rose76 · Jan 20, 2015, 06:52 PM

I have a temperature of 102 F. Haven't been this sick in 15 years. Feel like a bowling ball was dropped on my head. Painful cough.

Jan 20, 2015, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turtlesoup

I'm glad you didn't as well

Sorry you are dealing with such a difficult home situation. We do care how you're doing (also gotta find out how things turn out with the strange girl who loves odd words

)

Now that it's later and I've calmed down some, I have to say I am glad I didn't do anything... although I still wish I could get some distance between me and my life. It's very difficult and stressful and sometimes I feel like there is no way out of it, although I know I just have to give it time.

The strange girl who loves odd words is doing fine.

I've just hit kind of a wall in the story though, so it's going to take me longer now to finish it. Oh well...

Bimmer01 · Jan 20, 2015, 10:11 PM

Sunday I felt overcome with rottenness and depression. It was pure evil.

Thanks to some new meds, I'm somehow feeling better, although still not great.

I'm still dealing with the incongruity of my new boring office type job with my hands-on working style and the regret of leaving a more satisfying job for a boring one. Until that situation is resolved, I doubt I'll be back to "normal".

Nammu · Jan 20, 2015, 10:18 PM

OK!!!!
I bought my new modem and am hooked up after an hour and a half!! Yea!

Then I spent 2 hours trying to get the Roku hooked....finally, but I can't find a single channel that will play without costing me extra?

dandylin · Jan 20, 2015, 10:24 PM

Husband is going in for open-heart surgery, I'm frightened and alone with this. No family or friends to sit through this with me.

hope2010 · Jan 20, 2015, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dandylin

Husband is going in for open-heart surgery, I'm frightened and alone with this. No family or friends to sit through this with me.

I am so sorry that you have to go through something so serious alone. I know that is not much what I can do, but still am here and I care, you are stronger, you will be fine as long as you can be with him. Hugs