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#676
Jan 28, 2015, 08:37 AM
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I'm really not coping at all.
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 angelene, Anonymous37807, Nammu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#678
Jan 28, 2015, 12:17 PM
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I hope today will be better than yesterday.
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| angelene, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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#679
Jan 28, 2015, 01:04 PM
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I'm a wreck.
__________________
* Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
| Anonymous37807, IcryWhoAmI, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#680
Jan 28, 2015, 01:10 PM
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I feel extremely insular. I have not left the house for 4 days now, but i feel so physically and emotionally weak and tired.
It feels as though I have led weights attached to each leg and that I am trying to think through mud. Though all of this, I just feel so alone and as though I don't belong anywhere. I can't speak o anyone as I don't trust them to keep what I say private, or to give a damn about how I'm feeling. |
| angelene, Turtlesoup
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#681
Jan 28, 2015, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
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#682
Jan 28, 2015, 01:58 PM
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I am so sleepy, I can only do little things like laundry, slow cooking, sighs.
I used to take Lamictal at noon every day. I know that was the reason of all my dizziness, and sleepy mood. So I changed to the night time. I was so happy the next day because wasn't lightheaded, woozy, or unbalanced. Last for just "one day". Yesterday and today I am not dizzy but so sleepy. I can't so much ... One more day to keep looking for answers. I drove to the supermarket the day I was alright. Turn out that I wasn't afraid to drive, I was just to dizzy to even try to drive. I have done so much that one day, the day I was fine that make me wonder how my life will be if I am better, really much better. I still searching. I will not give up.
__________________
A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord 
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, TheOriginalMe, waterknob1234
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 Turtlesoup
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#683
Jan 28, 2015, 02:17 PM
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Lately I feel like I am struggling to keep my head above water. Today's been fine so far, despite depression. But some bad things happened last night and it's taken a lot of my energy, stolen my sleep, and I still haven't recovered. It seems that whenever I just begin to recover from a fight, another fight has to happen, so I have to recover from that fight and so on. Always recovering. Daily routine. It's getting old and I am getting fed up. Now Mom & I are talking about the possibility of moving out in March, if things do not get better. She gets another big check then, so we could afford it. I am hoping we move out, but at the same time I'm hoping things get better so we won't have to.
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| angelene, Anonymous32451, Anonymous445852, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#684
Jan 28, 2015, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
hope things do get better for you. sorry you are struggling so much right now |
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#685
Jan 28, 2015, 03:55 PM
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I slept in this am, then wrote a list of things I'd like to get finished today.
 Jumped out of bed and wrenched my knee taking the sheets off for laundry. The second rinse cycle the water would only trickle in taking forever to get to spin, so I'm not sure about washing my clothes. Went though a huge bag of unopened mail from 2012, there was ay stack of unopened utility bills, during that dark time I just guessamated what the bills were and payed on line every two months or so. Somehow I ended up with a positive balence so most of 2013 I had no bills to pay. Nice. I look at my closet and the enormity of the task of putting it to rights just overwhelmed me. It not just a matter of putting things away, it's trying to get the boxes of seasonal stuff that fell off the shelfs picked up and moved out. I no longer have the back strength to put them back up....besides they fell upside down. Right now I could really use a friend to help with this kind of stuff Just feeling kind of defeated right now...and lonely. At least I can put the clean dishes away and make the bed. 3 1/2 years of cleaning to do!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| angelene, Anonymous37914, kultking, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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#686
Jan 28, 2015, 06:33 PM
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Not a good day, I got tearful at work, no-one was responsible apart from me being depressed.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, hope2010, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#687
Jan 28, 2015, 06:47 PM
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My isolation is just weighing on me like a ton of bricks. All alone and feeling like total crud in every way.
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| angelene, Anonymous37807, Anonymous37914, hope2010, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#688
Jan 28, 2015, 08:25 PM
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Why I'm I still living?
Why am I still being kept alive? There's no use for me. No one wants me around. |
| angelene, Anonymous37914, hope2010, IcryWhoAmI, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#689
Jan 28, 2015, 08:46 PM
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I'm tired and lonely. I had to go grocery shopping and for whatever reason I felt 10 times worse while I was there and debated leaving because I wasn't sure I could finish shopping without crying.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, BubonicPlague, hope2010, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#690
Jan 28, 2015, 09:06 PM
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Haven't posted in a while. There's not much to report. I've been settling into my job, and I'm getting over a cold. I feel vaguely bored, like there's probably something that I should be doing. I still feel down at times, but it passes. My pdoc thinks that we need to up the dosage but I don't really feel like going through the adjustment period. I think I'm okay for the most part. I just feel okay. Not happy, but not sad either... so I guess that's a good thing. Hope everyone is doing well.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, hope2010, Nammu, TheOriginalMe
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| TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#692
Jan 28, 2015, 09:19 PM
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I feel so cut off from the world. It's been too cold in here to be able to be comfortable. I'm extremely lonely.
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, herethennow, Nammu, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#693
Jan 28, 2015, 09:38 PM
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NOTHING is of interest to me lately. This really sucks. I literally have such an empty feeling. This is torture!
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| angelene, Anonymous37914, herethennow, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#694
Jan 28, 2015, 10:47 PM
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I feel very bad today. I feel so worthless and like a burden to everyone and that I can't do anything right. I feel so empty inside and I just hate myself
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| angelene, herethennow, IcryWhoAmI, Nammu, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#695
Jan 29, 2015, 12:36 AM
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My obsessiveness is getting bad again so I can't sleep really. I'm trying to make friends in a new city but failing. I end up being ignored.
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| angelene, Nammu, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#696
Jan 29, 2015, 05:51 AM
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was down with a fever over the past week and mom simply says "you are having a fever because you are stressed." seriously? seriously? must everything be linked psychologically now?
had pdoc's appt. i can tell he's giving up on me. he can't do anything much anyway and he's hesitant to change anything... even the meds. i just don't feel like caring anymore. how does one fight a battle that one doesn't want to be in anyway?
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| angelene, Nammu, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#697
Jan 29, 2015, 06:50 AM
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Guess I'm doing okay today. Can't say I'm thrilled about going to the museum today to volunteer but at least it will get me out of the house and around people. No word from the people I had the interview with about a second interview. T has me convinced to be patient and to call Friday to check on status.
I'm editing this to say I feel crappy about the prospect of trying to find some job. I'm applying for jobs I'm overqualified for because I don't feel confident in my ability to undergo the stress of practicing law anymore. Why won't someone give me a chance? Last edited by Anonymous37807; Jan 29, 2015 at 08:27 AM. |
| angelene, herethennow, Nammu, Rose76, Ruftin, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup, waterknob1234
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#698
Jan 29, 2015, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
You're not here alone...We are here with you! Hopefully we all make it out together.
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#699
Jan 29, 2015, 07:50 AM
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Quote:
I have the flu...got the same response...did you take your medication today?? I didn't know thermometers could detect mental illness. 
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| angelene
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| herethennow, Nammu, tigersassy, Turtlesoup
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#700
Jan 29, 2015, 07:53 AM
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Quote:
You don't fight it, you find a way to out smart it.
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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