[TheOriginalMe]

I was OK today. There was a bit of frustration, but mainly I was OK. I don't think this is a major change in my mood, it is just a hangover from therapy yesterday. I was so miserable talking about old, old stuff and when my T grounded me at the end of the session I was just so relieved it was over. Then my nurse built on that so I was quite pumped up.

I used the good mood to ask a few questions that I'd normally be too reserved to do and then I did the weekly shop and had a nice walk in the park with my dog. She has spent a lot of the week indoors because the weather was bad, but today it was lovley. The earliest of the spring flowers are starting to show too, snowdrops and crocus.

[Nammu]

Have brain fatigue, I physicaly sick last night out of the blue. I'm fine now just empty. Stayed/ staying in bed, mostly sleeping.

[angelene]

Saw the pdoc yesterday; a very subdued visit. She changed me from 10mg to 5mg of Saphris because I feel like I'm sleeping too much. I managed to tell her about Queen Kitty without crying. (She's an animals-are-family person like us.)
I'm extremely worried about my sister. She's in really rough shape. (She's bi-polar.) QK was her companion for 15 years...

As for me, I'm just feeling very down in general. The Fibromyalgia and extreme cold are making it worse. And I need a new mattress. I should stay still need a new mattress because it's been some years now since the subject originally came up. I can't seem to get myself out there to a mattress place to test them out.

What the hell is wrong with me?

[LittleEarthquakes]

I need someone.

[waterknob1234]

This was a very hard, bad day at work. We were extremely busy, and all of the clinical staff worked very hard. Then, at the end of the day there was an office meeting where we were told what terrible employees we are and how bad our work is. The junior manager who is usually bossy to me mouthed off to the office manager and defended the rest of us. She was angry and said she had enough. The rest of the clinical staff including myself said the same. I don't see how I can possibly do any more work than I am doing now. I am stressed, depressed, and exhausted.

[LindaLu]

Lots of ups and downs. Started out feeling silly, then ran late, then had lucky break, then someone spoke up for us, then got angry message, then got spacy call, then got smooth talked, etc.

Hanging in there today. I just wish I had more of an appetite to do stuff other than go on message boards and facebook. It gets tedious after a while, but I'm honestly not drawn to anything else in a way that I would be if I weren't depressed. Today will spend some time with my husband: walk the dogs, go feed his honey bees, maybe go to a movie. I am grateful that I have someone who supports me and is there for companionship. It could be worse.

[herethennow]

you know, my friends always post/retweet/share things like "im messed up, you know?" "i feel down" and they are the ones who ridicule my depression. it's like... you can have feelings and i can't?

i am honestly running away from what i feel. i don't want to face this anymore. not having a reason to why you feel down.. low.. hopeless... just sucks.

on another note, i miss old T. sure new T is okay (nothing she has exhibited made me go panicky yet) but it's at these times where the comfort and reassurance of old T would be great. sure old T has an open door policy, i can ask new T to help me create an appt to see old T.. but i just don't want to meet her and we end up not talking.

i'm stuck with two people i can barely trust and i don't know where should i turn to anymore.

[avlady]

I hope you all feel better soon. i feel a bit better than usual, that will only last until i have to take my morning meds although, they make me really tired and i have to nap.

[magical loser]

couldnt get up till 3.30pm today and i am so angry with myself for wasting almost ALL of the day lieing in bed doing NOTHING. woke up at 9, felt like crap so lay therer for another 6 hours, still felt like crap....... what is the point?????????? i know damn well i wont feel any better a few hours later so why dont i just GET UP

[Bark]

Woke up depressed. But I did have something to eat. And I tidied up a bit, swept a bit, organized a bit... put my sheets in the laundry. I got myself out of my room to go and eat a proper meal. I guess that's good.

But I am really putting off showering, and I don't want to make my bed if I don't shower, and I'm also putting off the dishes, which are few... but I'd rather do the dishes than shower.

Not much energy left. Don't feel like doing much. Still depressed. Haven't studied; I tell myself I need to take it easy on myself but I need to get caught up. And financial and family concerns breathing down my neck. But today was kind of a break. I haven't had a proper one in a while.

[angelene]

Didn't brush my teeth this morning after waking up — always a bad sign. The house was freezing because the furnace ran out of water overnight. I just didn't have the patience to sit there and watch the water line indicator so I ended up overfilling the blasted thing. I could go on about this but I can't imagine anyone being that interested in my furnace troubles...

I ate a bunch of peanut M&Ms nine hours ago but that's it. Food will be ready soon...

[TheOriginalMe]

My 36 hour high ended this morning I woke up exhausted and aching and back down there again. I managed to climb in the bath and wallowed for an hour, it helped a bit. Then to avoid all the slow sadness that was wreathing around me like fog, I got busy. I took my dog for a walk, cooked a casserole, then baked bread, buns and cookies. After which I fell into a drowse for most of the evening. I think I succeeded in keeping the box lid shut on all those negative emotions stirred up by therapy, for another day at least.

[Turtlesoup]

I've had a rollercoaster week mood wise & thankfully today I'm feeling better. Allowing myself 2 days in a row to have some me time & take short naps seems to have really helped. I see my pdoc Monday & will discuss med increases. It still amazes me how quickly things can change. Thanks to all here for the hugs over the last few days while I was feeling so crappy Take care all.

[LindaLu]

I was a greeter at an event which was a little scary for but I did fine. Some guests sat at my table for refreshments afterwards.

Over-ate again. Saturdays are downfall of whole week.

Took in another lost cat, keeping it in spare bedroom from other pets. Its dangerously cold out. Did someone lose him accidentally or abandon him to die? He's very trusting cat which makes it more sad.

Back to feeling mostly on the verge of tears.

[boomerango]

Family events have called up old grief, old shame, pain, new anxiety, gut wrenching. I am trying hard to draw the healthy boundaries. Boundaries that never existed for so many years of my life. Good thing I see my therapist this week. these events change us forever.

It really did not help to eat all those chips today.

[herethennow]

on another note,

i guess i am happy that i can eat :X

Second day in a row of feeling crappy again. I wish I would have kept that ECT appointment for tomorrow, but when I cancelled I was feeling good -- or at least as well as can be expected.

I'm so tired of feeling this glum. It's just not fair. In reading earlier posts, I see that I've been depressed since August of 2013. That means if I'm still depressed by this August, that will be 2 years. Two years since I've felt real joy and contentment! If I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, I am!

I'm very envious of people who don't suffer from depression. I know jealously doesn't help at all, but it's a legitimate feeling I have. We went to see American Sniper yesterday, and I kept thinking during the movie how depressed I felt. Not good. But at least I went. I have to keep trying to make myself feel better, even if it seems repeated attempts fail.

Anyway, going to brunch today with my husband and his family. Not sure what else is on the agenda.

[Jolisse]

I'm at a all time low, I'm really scared.

Hang in there, Jolisse. I know how scary severe depression can be. Could it be time for a med adjustment for you?

[tigersassy]

Doing good. It's a 4 day weekend. We're going to a state park inn. We haven't stayed at one before. I'm looking forward to it. Eye Dr appt on Tuesday much needed. Practicing mindfulness.
Hope everyone feels better.

Been reading some of my earlier posts in this thread. They all sound like echoes of each other - terrible headache... so cold... parents fighting... depressed... pointless... hopeless... why... My current situation is not any different. What I'm wondering is, when will I have something different to post about? When will I finally have ups to share, instead of downs?

[herethennow]

i just dont want to continue on trying anymore

[color14u]

It's a beautiful day. I should go outside, but I don't feel like dealing with people or questions right now. Maybe I'll feel better later...of course it's suppose to rain. I think I need to just go back to sleep