How low...

This might sound like a weird question but how low one has to go to get help or for others to recognise that this person is really suffering and needs help.

How depressed one has to be to be taken seriously?
When will peole stop with "It's the same for everyone". When will people stop trying to make one snap out of it and accept their pain?

It depends on the people.. some realize it only when it's too late..

Have you asked or are you waiting for this to be noticed?

For me, I couldn't get adequate help until I was so far gone that I had plans on hurting other people to get ahead.

I finally went to the mental health center a couple of years ago because I was so desperate for help after having a falling out with a girl that I liked that I was honest with the therapist that did my intake.

I told him if I don't get some help now I will live my life as a rogue and screw people over to get ahead because I hate humanity and if people can't love and accept me, I will force them to and they will regret hurting me.

Oh and I called myself the "darkness incarnate" and told them how I worship death and other crazy B.S to further motivate them into action.

Best choice I made.

I agree. The best thing I ever did was check myself in.

It depends on who you talk to. My husband has been pretty supportive when I have a depressive episode. The crisis workers in the ER, not so much.

For some reasons this is not an option for me...
Also I somehow feel that I'm unable to measure the severity of my situation...
Also my mood is very changeable which complicates the assessment.

"hospital" isn't an option for me either

I think it's hard now for people not to notice that I'm depressed. But I live in a world where apparently people just ignore this.
I can understand them.
Like, "everyone is depressed".

I think it hurts that I feel that I'm not allowed to break down. My pain is invalidated.
Maybe I'm not allowing myself.

There are two types of reactions: either invalidation (x has it worse) or wanting to force me into "smiley mode". Both of them are painful.

I'm not sure what I want, I might have an actual issue with the whole "not being allowed to suffer" belief and that I have to do everything by myself (even though I dream of someone helping, I don't let them)

The only one I'd let to help me is my therapist but he also thinks that "I'm gonna be fine".

Now I'm fine. Yesterday night I was walking in the park drinking, talking by myself and thinking about ways to self destruct. So I don't know...

The thing is almost no one knows about my self destructive acts...Only my T, he knows only vaguely though.
I wonder how much others share about these stuff with friends/ family. I just can't. Feels embarrassing. But somehow want people to notice...

I would do outpatient again in the future and I would see a therapist or case manager or any other metal health professional if I absolutely had to.

I refuse to ever go to impatient again because the last several times that I was locked up in a psych ward the experience was dreadful for me.

Never doing the hospital thing again. If I ever have such strong feelings that can't be treated either by my own methods (diet, exercise, supplements, mindfulness, ECT) or by a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, I will act on said feelings.

They can take me to that prison that they call a hospital over my dead body.

What do you mean by "force [you] into a smiley mood"?

By doing things with you that you usually enjoy?
By cracking jokes?
By telling you things you can try to improve your overall self esteem?
Or something else?

I meant when people don't want to accept me if my curreny mood is sad. Pretending like I didn't say what I've said (when trying to share about my issues), joking about my issues, they see I am suffering but all they want is to keep the conversation on a light level (while I would need to talk about my issues), they are trying to "cheer me up" instead of listening and being there. They get angry or dissappointed with me (and I am afraid they will reject me) if I don't change my mood. Some very close people in my life do everything to distract me, like changing the subject. I know I would cause them huge pain (and to myself to see them like that) if I shared my issues with them so I learned to pretend or at least not go into depths. They have the obsessive need to see me happy, their happiness depends on mine (this is one person in my life)
This is all hard to explain.

Same here. In my country, people with having mental illness treated badly. Most people will automatically assume that you're just overreacting or attention seeker. In extreme cases, isolation and locked up.

I have not tell everyone in my area about my condition too. In fact, they still not notice that I have take and diagnosed with ASD.

That's why I'm here. I can openly say about my problem and get supported in PC.

it is hard for some people to understand because they havn't ever exprienced this feeling of depression or at least not as deep as it goes. i guess they therefore don't know how to relate because of it.

I had that problem for a very long time...along with many others surrounding the theme of "people just won't listen to me". I finally wound up inpatient in the community psych hospital - and at least they listened. After that, I was taught coping techniques and relaxation techniques...so even when I noticed the therapists began to quit listening, I could generally appease myself (at least for awhile) until I could find a new therapist. Sometimes I lost hope in the whole system though and went too long without therapy and wound up inpatient again. I learned how to "talk" to my doctors and counselors. Not just so I could get things off my chest, but so I could get the things I knew I needed them to do for my healing. I was tired of waiting - so I started pushing them to speed up "the game" (as I started seeing it) and slowing it down as needed. I started doing research on my own - about the therapies used for my differing problems, and started applying them to myself as much as I could (since I didn't see them having any success) and just listened for them to give me the next clue to an exercise, method, or technique I could try. Basically - I no longer worry about others listening, or trying to help me - I have come to the realization I am the only one who can and will do that - so I do.

My whole life I've been playing roles others wanted me to be. I've been shoving my emotions down. No one knows who I really am (not even me..). In these last two yesrs I wanted to do everything alone. I researched, I practiced yoga, meditation, different kinds of psychological tools. Alone. Everything alone. Even when I was with people I was alone. I could never connect to people and feel that I am myself.
But now I've had enough, I don't want to do everything alone anymore. Being "true to myself" but only when I'm by myself. Because I couldn't with others.
I really really need to express myself. The pain, the darkness. If it's not possible to be understood and heard then I don't want to continue. If I just have to get over the pain and become the old me, that's not an option.
(Sorry, I'm down now but it will pass....)

Unfortunately, a lot of how children are raised and educated revolves around learning "expectations" rather than learning about self. One is expected to behave, expected to get good grades, expected is the constant so when it comes to feeling challenged, it's no wonder it's hard to find anyone who is willing or has the ability to "sit" with you as you feel and help you learn how to slowly work through your feelings.

Unfortunately, people have children because that is what comes next and many of these people have no business having a child because they have NO understanding of child development and "nurturing". We also now live in a society where so many parents just hand over their children for others to raise too. We have parents that are very self involved, they are busy being all about themselves and their careers and often they spend little time with their children, and as I mentioned children end up growing up in day care, then elementary school, and their lives slowly revolve around "expectations" and "acting' more than understanding how to be in touch with their own emotions. More and more parents look at their child's needs as an inconvenience rather than a genuine need as something they need to control rather than actually "nurture".

It's not surprising that there are so many that feel lonely, especially when they are struggling and that when they reach out the answer is "don't feel, just be happy".

Don't be sorry ...
I can tell you what I did when I felt like that, not sure if it will help or not...I wrote it down in poetry. Some of it I shared, others I did not.

I do not understand. You want to behave destructively so as to be noticed yet you don't want to ask for help. It is seems the later would be the far easier of the two.

I can't explain, I don't know. I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have witten anything.

The destructive behaviour is not only because of that though. I'm not doing it to be noticed. Sorry for the confusion. I do want sometimes to be noticed though. It's hard for me to be open IRL about these.

What seems easy often is not.
Ever heard "You can only control what you do, you can't control others."?
Ok - same is true here...
You can say "I want to kill myself, please help."
They may say "Aww, it's not that bad. What'd you think of last night's episode of The Big Bang Theory?"
You can say "Last night I SI (in more specific terms)"
They may just look at you and then pretend they never heard anything.
You can tell people over and over but until they are ready and willing to hear you - you will never be heard.
The minute you act out - you become noticeable but you are also the lowest of the low or meant to be pitied.
It's a no win situation many times.

You should always feel free to write what you feel. Don't let the ignorance (aka lack of knowledge - not stupidity) of others deter you or cause you to feel oppressed.

Thank you. You managed to put into words what I couldn't. Today I can't think or write...

Also, even saying those words, saying that I want to kill myself or that I SI-d, seems impossible most of the time.